High-Larious High-Jinks At the Paper

Woof-woof, Ron.

Charlie from Czech Village here, checking in from your old hometown. I just couldn't wait to tell you about the Des Moines Register's newest high-larious high-jinks. Yessiree, the folks on Locust are still trying to be real life investigative reporters and leading the pack is Lee Rood, the biggest pretender of them all. You say you don't believe it, Ron? The lovely Ms. Rood has been designated as "The Reader's Watchdog" at the Register. I suppose the punctuation means there is only one reader left. Otherwise it would be "The Readers' Watchdog." But I digress. The newspaper explains their new columnist (talk about a dog) is looking to help people who are "despondent, outraged, at wit's end or, as often happens, all three." The Register's remaining reader is being asked to write Ms. Rood when he or she is short-changed at a store, presumably one that doesn't advertise, or is upset by something or somebody who upsets them. Ms. Rood will get to the bottom of it, exactly the way bottom-rated TV stations used to investigate when their remaining viewer was upset because a plumber didn't show up on time. This "Watchdog" initiative is being unveiled in the Sunday paper, but a preview is available on the Register's Web site. It is accompanied by a giant picture of Ms. Rood, said picture available for purchase. Click to add it to your cart. Don't believe they're selling her picture, Ron? Check it out. Just don't have your Alpo first. But enough of this nonsense. I have to go outside and write my name in the snow. It's getting deeper all the time over here, Ron.

All the best from Czechtown.

Arf-arf.

Charlie

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: I'd just gotten in from my 2-mile walk at the mall when I saw the message from Charlie. I didn't even have time to thaw out the poppyseed kolaches I had in the freezer from the last time I was at Sykora's Bakery on 16th Avenue in the Village. I haven't yet figured out how to use my new one-cup coffeemaker that the kids gave me for Christmas, so I heated up a cup of Folger's I had left over from the old drip pot I use at breakfast. I always need coffee with my kolaches. Then I got to Charlie's e-mail. I was so excited that I hurried to the Register's website to read about what this new "Reader's Watchdog" business was all about. Here's what it said: "Coming Sunday: The Reader's Watchdog. Scarcely a day goes by at The Des Moines Register when we don’t get a call from someone who is outraged, despondent, at wit’s end or, as often happens, all three. At some point, the caller has hit a dead end trying to resolve a major problem and turns to us as a last resort. This weekend, the Des Moines Sunday Register is launching a watchdog column just for readers. Investigative reporter Lee Rood will work to help Iowans to get answers from public officials, businesses and the justice system. On Sunday Rood probes the needless death of a Des Moines man and asks why state and federal authorities never pressed charges. Pick up a copy of the Des Moines Sunday Register, or read the column here at DesMoinesRegister.com, to find out more about The Reader's Watchdog." Charlie, I'm breathless. I mean, give me oxygen immediately. I can't wait to brew me up a cup of hot something or other Sunday morning and read what The Watchdog has to say. I've got The Watchdog's picture posted here, courtesy of the website, but I haven't decided yet if I'll order a print from the paper. I don't want to make too many decisions at the same time. Say hello to all of my Bohemie friends down there on The Avenue, Charlie. Next time I run into you there, we'll have a poppyseed kolache or two together, and see if anybody wants to interview us].