Repeat, There's No Such Thing As a Free Lunch

You've heard this one before.

The comment that there's no such thing as a free lunch, I mean.

Not anymore, that is.

There used to be plenty of free lunches -- and free dinners, too -- for sportswriters, broadcasters and various hangers-on in connection with collegiate athletics.

But, like media guides, the free meals are rapidly disappearing.

For all I know, the next thing to go in these difficult economic times will be pregame food in the press boxes for reporters and other workers.

I was looking over the agenda for football media day at the University of Iowa, and noticed that there's no trip to the buffet line on the Aug. 7 schedule in the Kinnick Stadium press box.

So forget the turkey sandwiches, the other cold cuts, the salad and the cookies. The first thing on the docket is coach Kirk Ferentz's press conference from 1:30 to 2 p.m.

That's fine with me. Let the sportswriters and broadcasters buy their own lunches.

[But please remind 'em to get receipts, assuming their newspapers and TV stations are still reimbursing them for meals when they're out of town. These days, though, you never know].

There was a time in the not-so-distant past when universities and colleges didn't worry about money and how much the sportswriters and broadcasters were eating -- which, in the case of some guys, was plenty.

I mean, when then-Iowa State basketball coach Ken Trickey had a basketball press day in the previous century, he scheduled it at the Palmas Restaurant in Ames, where sportswriters were served four-course Greek meals.

Iowa was famous for its Friday night press parties at The Lark in Tiffin. Huge beef tenderloin steaks and all the trimmings, including unlimited alcoholic beverages, were served to sportswriters, broadcasters and university officials.

The free food ended at about the same time The Lark burned to the ground. I don't know if there was any connection between the two or not.

*

By the way, Iowa State used to serve sit-down lunches at its football media days, too. But those were replaced by cookies several years ago.

Now Iowa State is among the universities that have stopped printing expensive football media guides for reporters. Before that, such schools as Ohio State, Michigan and Wisconsin dropped their media guides.

When Dick Dietl was the sports information director at Drake, he once scheduled a basketball media day at the old Babe's Restaurant in downtown Des Moines for sportswriters, broadcasters, their wives and/or significant others.

Now Babe Bisignano is gone, so is Babe's Restaurant, so is food at Drake media days and Dietl is retired in Oregon.

*

I asked Mike Hlas, the sports columnist at the Cedar Rapids Gazette, how many schools provided media guides at this week's Big Ten football meetings in Chicago.

Here's what he told me:

"I'm guessing here, but I think five or six, maybe even seven. I didn't pay close attention. I didn't haul any home this year.

"Iowa still has one. I know Illinois and Purdue did, too. The Big Ten itself didn't put one out -- instead it's one of those little dealies you plug into your computer and then download. Which is fine by me."

However, Scott Dochterman of the Gazette pointed out in his blog, "Doc's Office," that folks attending Iowa's media day won't be getting those same press guides. Dochterman wrote:

"Iowa [sent] them to Chicago for Big Ten Media Days but the media guides won’t be available for local media. Iowa instead will provide their fact books [which has much more useful information anyway] to media attending the event..."

Maury John, Whose 1968-69 Team Went 26-5 and Played In the Final Four, Was Drake's Best Coach; But Sky Was the Limit for One-Year Wonder Keno Davis

George Wine read what I wrote a few days ago about Paul Morrison's 92nd birthday, and sent me the following e-mail:

"The first event I had as a fledgling SID at what is now UNI was a football game with Drake. Paul Morrison was the man at Drake. We developed a good friendship that has lasted more than 50 years. He is really one of the good guys . . . But Maury John the best basketball coach Drake ever had? Hell, I thought that was Keno Davis. . . ."

George Wine

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Paul Morrison, who has been in a wide assortment of jobs at Drake [the only one he hasn't had so far is university president, but don't count him out of that one yet], is universally admired throughout the collegiate athletic world. He now is Drake's historian -- not just athletic department historian, but university historian], and says he'll never retire because he's always looking for something new to do. It's been a pleasure for me to deal with Morrison for almost a half-century. I wrote in my column about Morrison that Maury John [pictured at the right] was the best basketball coach Drake has ever had, and I stand on that comment. I assume George Wine was being facetious when he said he thought Keno Davis [pictured at the left] was the best. Indeed, Keno had the best one-season record at Drake. His 2007-2008 team went 28-5, but then Keno left after one season as the Bulldogs' head coach and took the Providence job. Maury John is Drake's all-time winningest coach. He had a 211-131 record from 1958-1971; he was the national coach of the year in 1968-69 after taking his 26-5 team to the NCAA Final Four, and he was a four-time Missouri Valley Conference coach of the year. Keno was the consensus national coach of the year after his 28-5 season, and he also was the Valley's coach of the year. No one knows how well he would have fared had he stayed at Drake beyond one season. I have a lot of respect for Keno's abilities, and I think the sky is the limit for him. Indeed, I don't think Providence is his final coaching stop, even though he recently signed a contract extension at the Big East Conference school. The ironic thing is that Keno may have never gotten the opportunity to be a collegiate head coach had he not been on the Drake staff of his father, Tom Davis. After Tom finally produced a winning record for the Bulldogs with a 17-15 finish in 2006-2007, Keno was elevated to the job. The rest is history].

*

The paper is in the process of adding people to its Des Moines Sunday Register's Iowa Sports Hall of Fame, and I have a few comments about it.

First of all, I don't like it that the sports editor is assigning some of the writing to people who don't work at the Register.

Chuck Schoffner was an outstanding reporter and writer when he was a longtime employee of the Associated Press, and continues writing well as a free-lancer. Besides, Chuck is a friend of mine.

Nothing against Schoffner's abilities, but I think the Register should assign the writing of the Hall of Fame stories to someone who now is on the staff.

That, of course, could lead to jokes. As if there aren't plenty of jokes going around about the paper already.

Like, how do you know who's working for the Register these days? There have been so many layoffs in recent years that no one is quite sure.

You'd think Dan Johnson would have been the guy assigned to write the story about Vivian Stringer and Michelle Edwards being added to the Hall of Fame last week.

Johnson, of course, writes most women's basketball stories for the paper.

But that overworked guy, who has some serious health problems, has been covering the horses at Prairie Meadows as well as the Iowa Barnstormers all summer, so how the hell would he find time to write a ton of copy about Edwards and Stringer?

I also don't like it that two people are added to the Hall of Fame in the same story. That's become another recent trend at the paper.

I guess it's not like it used to be.

I didn't really write that, did I?

*

I got my hopes raised the other day when I heard a rumor that the Cubs were going to trade Milton Bradley to the Detroit Tigers.

Then the Cubs said the rumor wasn't true.

I never believe the Cubs, but when Tigers manager Jim Leyland said he didn't want Bradley, I had to finally believe our boy Milton was staying in rightfield at Wrigley Field.

Me, I'd take a batboy and a bag of scuffed-up baseballs from Detroit to get rid of Bradley.

*

I guess St. Louis is going to win the National League Central now.

Cardinals columnists, reporters and fans -- in that order -- are gushing over recent deals made by St. Louis.

Evidently it's the 1927 Yankees all over again.

Chicago, Houston and Milwaukee might as well call off the rest of their schedules.

Sykora's Kolaches & The Family Picnic

We've been getting to Cedar Rapids only one day a year, and it's on the last Sunday of July when the family picnic is held at Danny's.

We usually get to town a couple of hours early so we can see what's going on in a few of our favorite haunts.

Last year's trip was depressing because Cedar Rapids looked like a war zone after the summer flooding.

The Czech Village -- otherwise known as 16th Avenue -- appeared on its last legs when we made the slow drive through there on a hot, humid Sunday in 2008.

But the place was starting to show some life Sunday. The weather was better, too.

I mean, Sykora's Bakery was jumping when we got there at 10:30 a.m. As you can tell by the photos, kolaches of all sorts were saying hello to all of us, and we put quite a dent in the display case and my MasterCard account.

We grabbed a number of loaves of rye bread -- both with caraway seeds and without --and suddenly my mind was racing back to when I was 5 or 10 and my mother and dad took me to what they called "The Avenue" on Saturday mornings for bakery from Sykora's, hot dogs from Pohlena's and maybe even a flat-top haircut at the barbershop that's been gone for many years.

Ernie's Tavern, the front door of which is pictured, opened Sunday at 11 a.m., and nearby was the tile inserted into the sidewalk that honored the late Ernie Hlas, who was the longtime proprietor.

Ernie was the father of Mike Hlas, sports columnist at the Cedar Rapids Gazette. I asked Mike this morning for some history on the tavern, and he said, "My dad died in 2005. He had it for 25 years, doubled it in size, built an apartment on top of it, retired and sold it in the 1980s.

"I don't know who owns it now. It's changed hands a couple times. I believe it's a group of people. I'm pleasantly surprised they got it put back together. I know they worked long hours to do it, and I hope they have great success."

So do I.

We made it to the picnic just before noon, and the celebration officially got going about a half-hour later when Erv [pictured at the top] got there. Erv turned 90 earlier this summer, and told me during his birthday party at the Marengo Nursing Home then that he'd be ready to light up at the picnic and have a rip-roaring afternoon.

All the kids had a great time swimming and swinging, and if anyone left hungry it was his or her own fault.

Drake's Paul Morrison Turning 92; Says He Has No Plans To Retire -- 'I Believe In Working, And I'm Looking For Something New To Do Every Day'

Happy birthday in advance to Paul Morrison.

The man who has been so valuable to Drake University for more than 60 years celebrates his 92nd birthday Saturday.

And his daughter Holly plans to do birthday up right. She's hosting a party for him.

I first got to know Morrison in the early-1960s, and he was already a veteran at Drake then.

"I went on the payroll in December of 1945," Morrison told me today, "and I haven't left yet."

Among his many jobs at the university have been news bureau director, sports information director, ticket manager, athletic business manager and -- since 1986 -- historian.

Actually, Morrison is more than the historian for the Bulldogs' athletic department. He's historian for the entire university.

"It's an unofficial title," Morrison explained, "but, because I've been around so long, I get a lot of non-athletic questions, too."

Incidentally, Morrison said he has no plans to retire.

"I hope I fall over in the job sometime," he said. "I believe in working, and I'm looking for something new to do every day. That's what keeps me going."

One of the few things that have changed in Morrison's life is that he no longer walks to work, as he did for so many years.

"People now give me rides to and from my home," he said. "But I still get in plenty of walking on my errands around the campus. My legs aren't as good as they used to be."

*

Personal memo from me: I hope Paul Morrison has many more birthdays. He is one of the outstanding people in this world.

*

Morrison said Willie McCarter was among those who showed up for the funeral last week of Jean John, widow of Maury John -- the best basketball coach Drake ever had.

"It was nice of Willie to come all the way from Michigan to pay his respects," Morrison said. "McCarter, Dolph Pulliam and Rick Wanamaker were among Maury John's former players who attended the funeral.

McCarter, of course, has had his own health problems. He told me he was making his funeral plans several years ago after suffering some strokes and having brain surgery.

McCarter, Pulliam and Wanamaker were members of Maury John's 1968-69 team that finished third in the NCAA tournament at Louisville, Ky.

*

A guy I know tells me he went to one of those guess-my-weight, guess-my-age booths at an amusement park recently.

The guy chose to have the worker guess his age.

At a cost of $5, the worker had to guess the guy's age within two years or the guy had his choice of a large stuffed animal.

The worker looked at the guy's face and said, "I've got a couple of questions for you. First, if I asked you where you would like to take a vacation, what country would you choose?"

"Russia," the guy said.

"What city would you visit in Russia?" the worker asked.

"St. Petersburg," the guy said.

"All right, I wrote down the age I think you are," the worker said. "How old are you?"

"Seventy-three," the guy said.

"Hmmm. I guessed you at 47," the worker said.

"You made my whole day," the guy said. "Thank you."

Then he told his 10-year-old granddaughter to pick out the prize.

*

I sure wish there'd be something about bicycle riding in the paper this week.

*

Talk about the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing. Here's some strange newspapering:

The West Des Moines Register supplement in today's paper had a page one photo layout about Valley High School's softball team.

The headline said: TIGERS ON THE PROWL FOR A CHAMPIONSHIP

Yet, on page one of the sports section in the same paper was a story that said No. 1-ranked Valley was beaten by Waukee in the semifinal round of the tournament yesterday in Fort Dodge.

Looks to me like there should've been a few more layoffs at the paper recently.

Terry Robinson and the 'No-No-No -- Yes!' Game-Winner He Sank from the Corner To Give Drake's Basketball Team a Victory Over Bradley

I heard from Bob Modersohn, the photographer/writer from Des Moines. He thought he saw a Drake basketball player recently from days gone by, and sent me the following e-mail:

"Ron,

"So I'm walking to the central entrance to Park Fair Mall to mail a card and I see a tall dude whom I've seen around town over the past few decades. I'm pretty sure it's Terry Robinson, who was a 6-foot 8-inch forward on one of Drake's basketball teams. He's carrying a toddler, heading to the same mall door as I.

"I hold the doors for him, and he thanks me twice.

"As we are walking in different directions inside, I say to him, 'It was a long time ago, but I'm remembering you taking a shot from the corner, making a game-winner at Bradley...we were all, like, no-no-no -- yes!'

"He just smiled. I hope I was right. I think I heard the game on the radio. Otherwise, he was just being polite. Do you remember him? Or have access to old rosters? I think he came out of the Chicago area, but I have no idea what decade. My guess would be the 80s."

Bob Modersohn

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Bob, I checked with Paul Morrison, Drake's 91-year-old [soon-to-be 92] athletic department historian, and he told me the tall guy, indeed, was Terry Robinson. "He earned four basketball letters and got his degree from Drake in 1990," Morrison said. "As far as I know, he's lived in the Des Moines area ever since." By the way, I asked Bob Modersohn if he's been doing any pole vaulting in his yard recently. He and I used to talk about the vaulting area he used to practice in his yard in his younger years. "No vaulting in the backyard [for a while]," Modersohn said. "If my math is right, I haven't vaulted since 1967, maybe '68. I saw your [recent] dialogue with [one of the daughters of former Drake coach] Bob Ortegel. It's good that we get kept up to date on sports figures from yestrday through you, Ron."]

Reader Says, 'I'm Sick Of Shawn Johnson and I Don't Even Live In Des Moines'; Plus, the Double Meaning Of 'Go Hawks!' To Don Clasen

It didn't take long.

For people to get tired of Shawn Johnson, I mean.

"You know, I'm sick of Shawn Johnson and I don't even live in Des Moines," a friend of mine tells me in an e-mail.

*

Former Des Moines newspaperman Don Clasen writes to me about the summertime popularity of the Chicago Blackhawks hockey team:

Hi, Ron!

"It was like being back in the Hawkeye state for this Iowa native, who is happily retired in Chicago as my wife and I heard many shouts of 'Go Hawks!' over the weekend. The cheer had a double meaning for us since fans here were mainly yelling for the Chicago Blackhawks, who held their second annual convention Friday through Sunday.

"We were among more than 10,000 hockey fans, who gathered to see and cheer former stars Bobby Hull, Stan Mikita and Tony Esposito, among others, as well as the resurgent Hawks led by youngsters Jonathan Toes and Patrick Kane. Perhaps more important, we attended sessions at which John McDonough, the former Cubs' boss, and head coach Joel Quenneville stressed that in keeping with the team's 'One Goal' theme, no one will be satisfied until they bring the Stanley Cub to the Windy City.

"Significant progress has been made by the Hawks, who boasted the NHL's best attendance the past season and, as McDonough pointed out, have become the favorite team for free agents to join. The best example, is Marian Hossa,one of the league's top stars, who has moved from Detroit to play at the United Center with a long-term contract.

"With expectations high and everything so upbeat, McDonough took the blame for dumping popular GM Dale Tallon in favor of Stan Bowman. Bowman, who is named for the Stanley Cub, is the son of Scotty Bowman, a consultant with the team. McDonough explained that it is vital that he has the best management and administrative team behind the players.

"With the Cubs, Sox and Bears on the rise, the Blackhawks remain the best sports show in town even during the summer. But the team that went to the semifinals in cup play last season won't have a very long vacation. The first game is slated for Sept. 19 at the United Center.

"But it's music to our ears to learn the double meaning of 'Go Hawks!'"

Don Clasen
Chicago

*

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Thanks for the e-mail, Don. In another message, Clasen writes,"Can you provide me with Iowa Boy Chuck Offenburger's e-mail address? As a survivor of prostate cancer I'd like to encourage Chuck to beat the problem. It was good that you wrote about him." I wrote last week about the battle online columnist Offenburger, who lives in Cooper, Ia., is waging with cancer. Chuck's e-mail address is chuck@offenburger.com].

*

Cubs manager Lou Piniella is now the personal batting coach for Milton Bradley, the rightfielder who can't hit his way out of a paper sack. Good luck on that project.

Valleyfair!, 2009

Here's a Fight That Battler Chuck Offenburger Will Win

I'm traveling this weekend. We'll be watching our granddaughters' tennis tournament today in St. Paul, and tomorrow a number of us will be riding the rollercoasters at Valley Fair in nearby Shakopee, Minn.

But I didn't want to let RAGBRAI start without mentioning that my friend and fellow columnist Chuck Offenburger of Cooper, Ia., won't be on the bicycle ride because he's now fighting cancer.

"I was diagnosed late last week with non-Hodgkins lymphoma cancer," Offenburger tells me in an e-mail.

Offenburger says non-Hodgkins follicular lymphoma is a low-grade, not-very-aggressive cancer that grows from lymph glands. He has been told the cancer has probably been brewing for a long time and isn't something that has developed suddenly. It just took a long time for it to surface.

"While this is serious and in its advanced stages [medically they call it Stage IV], it’s 'very treatable' with chemotherapy," Offenburger said, "which will use four main drugs. I probably won’t be having any surgery or radiation. The chemotherapy will hopefully stop the growth, even shrink up, the mass, plus attack the lymphoma throughout my body. It wasn’t much concern to me, but he said I’m unlikely to lose my hair."

Although Chuck says he'll be skipping RAGBRAI, he adds, "I intend to show up a time or two and eat porkburgers, eat pie and drink lemonade along the route. But the docs hope to have me back on my bike in a week to 10 days, and then I'll be able to resume leisure riding.

"Prayers are welcome!"

I told Chuck we'll be praying for him. I have every confidence he'll whip this because he's always been a fighter.

Jean John Joins Her Husband In Heaven

Her full name was Vivian Jean John, but to those who knew her in the days when her husband was coaching nationally-famous basketball teams at Drake, she was known as Jean.

And now Jean has joined her husband in Heaven.

Jean was the wife of the late Maury John, who was Drake's legendary basketball coach from 1958-1971. He was the Bulldogs' winningest coach in history with a 211-131 record, and he took his 1968-69 team to the NCAA Final Four in Louisville, Ky.

Indeed, that team came within an eyelash of upsetting eventual national champion UCLA in the first round of the tournament. John Wooden's Bruins won, 85-82.

Maury was named the national coach of the year following that season, and he was the Missouri Valley Conference's coach of the year in 1964, 1968, 1969 and 1970.

His last three Drake teams went to the NCAA tournament. John later had a 43-35 record in three seasons at Iowa State. He died of cancer in 1974. Maury was 55 when he died, Jean was 87 when she died Wednesday.

Jean is pictured above [in the forefront] when she appeared last February along with members of her husband's 1968-69 Drake team at a banquet in downtown Des Moines.

Drake honored Maury John and the players on the 40th anniversary of the season in which the 1968-69 Bulldogs played in the Final Four. John and the Bulldogs were honored with banners that now hang from the rafters in the Knapp Center, where Drake now plays its games.

In 1968-69, Drake played its home games at Veterans Memorial Auditorium in downtown Des Moines.

A visitation for Jean John will be held Saturday from 9:30 to 11 a.m., and a funeral service will follow at 11 a.m. at Campus Baptist Church in Ames. Burial will be in the Ames Municipal Cemetery.

Jean was born Aug. 21, 1922 in Bowling Green, Mo., to John Evered and Vernetta Ann [Porter] Ball. She grew up in Slater, Mo., and attended college at Central Missouri State in Warrensburg, Mo.

It was there that she met her future husband. She and Maury John were married Nov. 20, 1941.

Following Maury's death in 1974, she sold real estate in Ames for many years. She was an active member of Campus Baptist Church for more than 30 years.

She is survived by two sons, John [Dawn] John of West Des Moines and Dr. Maurice [Jan] John, Jr., of Lousiville KY; four grandchildren, Julie John of West Des Moines, Brian John of Hiroshima City, Japan, Dr. Christopher [Jenny] John of Roanoke, Va., and Schuyler [Christina] John of Louisville, Ky.; five great- grandchildren; and one brother, Dr. John Ball of Booneville, Mo.

This Is Where I Get Off the Train

Judging by what some people are saying, my days [and your days] of reading newspapers for free on the computer will soon be over.

Consequently, my days of reading newspapers at all online will also be over.

As I've said many times in the past, I won't be paying a nickel, or even a bus token, to read any newspaper on my computer.

I buy a subscription to one newspaper, which is delivered to my home every morning. Well, most mornings anyway. The carriers are getting worse all the time. Sometimes the paper is on my front porch, sometimes it's on the lawn.

That will be taken into account when the carrier sends me a Christmas card next December, hoping for a tip.

*

Getting back to paying -- or not paying -- for the paper online. The Romenesko journalism website has a story today saying "Financial Times editor Lionel Barber has predicted that almost all news organizations will be charging for online content within a year.

"Barber said building online platforms that could charge readers on an article-by-article or subscription basis..."

Good luck on that.

I'll let Mike, my neighbor, decide whether he wants to pay to read the paper online.

As far as I know, Mike doesn't even have the paper delivered. To his porch or his lawn. Maybe he reads it at work.

*

BOOING THE PRESIDENT, ETC.

Another guy who tells me he doesn't buy the paper is Scott Pierce, Drake's football and women's basketball radio announcer.

Here's his latest e-mail:

"Ron:

"Seriously. I thought I was reading a Sean Keller column. Okay, that's a bit extreme. But let me 'counter-point' your points.

"1. St. Louis fans booing the president (which was NOT overwhelming) might have something to do with a) a green initiative that could cost thousands of jobs at Amerun utilities and Boeing b) they make Chryslers in St. Louis. Our government took over an auto company and basically forced them to discontinue Chryslers. It had nothing to do with his attire.

"Bottom line, a president will get a smattering of boos just about anywhere. St. Louis
and southern Illinois are mostly democrat communities.

"2. Yes, Pujols made an error. 'Instrumental in the loss'? That's a little over the top. Instrumental in the loss was a misjudged fly ball in left field delivered by a pitcher on a near last place team. By the way, did you just not see the three diving stops Pujols made? There's not a better defensive first baseman in the league. There are equals, but no one better.

"3. Yes, Pujols went 0-3. Did you see his first inning ground out? If that's hit right
at Michael Young, it would have taken Young's kidney to left field. That was a blue dart.

"Now on to more serious stuff, I was extremely disappointed with the lack of tribute to
Stan Musial. I have no problems with any of the pre-game ceremonies, but they missed a big opportunity with 'The Man'. Hell's bells, an All-Century team forgets to put him on in 1999. He's gone largely unnoticed his entire life. Here was a great chance, their last chance, at they blew it. I don't know who "they" is, whether it's MLB or the Cardinals. But somebody missed out on something you don't get a second chance at. They did it right with Ted Williams in Boston several years ago. They did right with Yankee Stadium last year. They blew this one."

Scott Pierce

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Thanks for the e-mail, Scott. Stan Musial [pictured at the left] is, and was in his playing days, a fine gentleman. Before the second major league game I ever saw -- when I was 12 -- I got an autograph from Musial at Wrigley Field. That might have been the only autograph I got from anyone, and I'm not real sure why I wanted that one. Maybe because the kid I was with was asking Musial for an autograph. I don't remember how the game came out, but Musial usually had a field day against the Cubs. By the way, Scott, it's Keeler, not Keller].

*

HONORING SHAWN, AGAIN

WHO-TV says sports director Keith Murphy has been asked to be the master of ceremonies at another celebration for Iowa Olympic gold medalist Shawn Johnson. Murphy will host Shawn Johnson and Friends – An Evening of Music, Dance and Shawn at Wells Fargo Arena on July 26.

“It’s safe to say I won’t be doing any dancing that night, though I did offer to break out my 80's-era robot,” said Murphy. “Seriously, I’m flattered they asked me to be a part of this one-time event. Shawn’s energy and smile will make this a fun night for her fans.”

*

JAY WAGNER DIES

KL Snow of "Brew Crew Ball" gives us some sad news:

"Friends, you're going to have to excuse me for a day. It's an exciting day for the Brewers, as they launch into the second half of the season with a pennant race in play. But I don't feel much like talking about it today. I lost a friend last night. Actually, I lost more than a friend. I lost a mentor and an idol.

"There's likely not many folks here familiar with Iowa and its journalists, but those that are familiar will certainly know Jay P. Wagner. Over a 25+ year career in Iowa, Jay wrote for the Des Moines Register, Cityview, the Des Moines Business Record and countless other publications. He's almost certainly the best reporter I've ever known. He was brilliant, charismatic and witty. He could write about anything and make it interesting. At one point or another, he did write about anything and make it interesting. He won every single award given out by the Iowa Newspaper Association.

"Jay and I met in 2006, when I was working on a campaign for governor and he was writing about it. At the time, I had no idea who I was talking to: I didn't know enough about Iowa to recognize him. Over time, through shared ideals and common goals, we developed a friendship that carried long past the end of my time in politics.

"Jay loved Iowa more than anyone I've ever known. Maybe more than anyone would believe possible. At one point or another, Jay had visited every crack and crevasse in the state, and could tell you a story about any of them. When I lived on the east end of the state, over 200 miles from him, he made sure I knew exactly the best place to get a burger. He and I made plans to go to Burlington and try the famous "chicken lips," even though Burlington was hundreds of miles from home, off in the corner of the state. That's how Jay was: if there was anything going on anywhere in Iowa, Jay had to experience it.

"Even more than Iowa, Jay loved his wonderful family. Jay has a loving wife and two incredible young children. I've particularly enjoyed the opportunities I've had to get to know his son. I'm still unsure if I want to have kids someday, but if I knew I could have a son like his, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

"Through it all, he loved the Minnesota Twins. For one week a year we were rivals, but most of the time Jay and I commiserated about the pain of being a small market fan in a world where national media hardly recognizes our existence. Last fall, when the Twins were in a one game playoff with the White Sox, Jay was in the hospital, undergoing tests. He couldn't drive anymore at this point, so I was waiting outside to give him a ride home, desperately trying to follow the game on crackly radio signals, so I could give him a score update when he came out. When he called me to let me know it was time to pick him up, the first thing he asked for was the score. The whole way home, we never talked about cancer, just baseball.

"This spring, Jay was at home but unable to get out of bed or be left alone, so each Friday I spent the day with him, talking about baseball, life and food. Even as his health continued to deteriorate, and as our weekly sessions moved from the couch in his living room to a makeshift hospital bed in what used to be his office, Jay was fun, bright and entertaining. It got harder to leave each week, because I knew these days weren't going to last forever. I saw Jay for the last time on May 29, the day before I left for my wedding/honeymoon/move to Wisconsin. In the whirlwind of activity that those three weeks were, I briefly lost track of him and was unable to go see him when I was back in Iowa for the last time three weeks ago. In hindsight, I'm kicking myself for not trying harder to make one last visit. Each of the last few Fridays, I've sent an email to his wife so she could read it to him. He was no longer able to read or talk on the phone.

"Unfortunately, like so many great people before him, cancer was too great of an obstacle for Jay to take on. It had taken root in his brain. He held on through multiple surgeries, several runs of radiation and other treatments, but finally gave up the fight at 6:50 last night.

"So, you'll have to forgive me, but I don't feel much like talking about the Brewers today. The Frosty Mug will return tomorrow, and there will still be a game thread (and perhaps other content, if anyone has something to contribute later today), but for this morning at least, I'd like to request a moment of silence in honor of Jay Wagner, a true friend taken from the world far too soon."

[RON MALY'S COMMENT: My thoughts are with Jay's family].

*

Cartoon courtesy of CartoonStock.com.

America's Best Fans Boo the President

Well, things didn't work out all that well last night for the city of St. Louis.

The Cardinals' Albert Pujols, baseball's all-universe first baseman, made an error that was instrumental in the National League's 4-3 loss to the American League in the All-Star game, Pujols didn't get a hit all night and the fans booed the president.

Now, is that any way for America's greatest baseball fans [or so they keep telling themselves] to act?

To boo the president, I mean?

I was somewhat surprised that Barack Obama got assorted boos when he came onto the field at Busch Stadium to throw out the ceremonial first pitch prior to the All-Star game.

I was wondering if Obama was booed because he's Obama or because he was wearing a Chicago White Sox jacket [pictured].

I guess it was a bit of a shocker to me that he wore the jacket.

But, hey, the guy is the president. I figure he can wear any kind of jacket he wants to wear.

The online version of newspapers like to use readers' comments these days, and this was one -- titled "Complete Disrespect for Stan [Musial] and St. Louis by the President" -- carried by the St. Louis Post-Dispatch [the grammatical errors are by the guy who wrote to the paper]:

"This was St. Louis' and Stan Musial's night -- and the President walked out onto the field in a White Sox coat. This city opened its arms to him, and he had to walk out there and make it all about himself. Taking the ball from Musial and then greeting the Hall of Famers in a White Sox coat was a show of utter disrespect. Bush wore a Cardinals coat when he threw out the first pitch -- not a Rangers coat. What the President did was awful -- and I'm glad the fans boo'd him for it. They weren't booing him because of his politics -- but because of that show of disrespect. How sad that Mr. Musial had to hear boos while on that field -- horrible decision by the President."

*

News is still trickling in about people who were dumped by the Register in the latest layoff. I'm told that another who was cut loose was Sandy Sanderson, who has been working at the paper's publication in Ankeny. A number of years ago, Sanderson was a reporter in the Register's farm department [I think he was known as Veryl Sanderson then], and got a second chance at Ankeny.

*

It was interesting that features department reporter Mary Challender still had stories appearing in the paper after she was laid off. Indeed, it was a bit of a surprise to me that Challender was let go, but she was a veteran, and cutting her loose was a way for the paper to save some money.

*

The health section of the paper is no better now than it was when the laid-off Dawn Sagario was still writing for it.

*

Your guess is as good as mine on what the status is of reporter Lee Rood, 42, who has been listed as the Register's "projects-investigative editor" [I think someone even called her a "watchdog reporter"] on the paper's website. Rood [pictured at the left] got some choice assignments, and her writing career appeared to be in good shape. However, a source told me the other day that Rood was demoted to "street reporter," which I guess ranks below projects-investigative editor. Also, the Iowa Independent said Rood was demoted. However, since then, the Iowa Independent wrote: "UPDATE: While [it was] originally reported that Register investigative reporter Lee Rood was demoted, Rood tells the Iowa Independent that she was not demoted and she did not receive a pay cut. Her job did not change." However, I could find no trace of Rood's "Watchdog Blog" on the Register's website, and she's rarely in the paper. I think part of her problem is that she's been mailing it in for quite some time. Consequently, I guess some people in the building think her star has fallen.

*

That's it for a while. I'll be heading to the sportswriters' lunch soon. I'll bet the Register layoffs will get plenty of attention there.

All-Star Memories

Heat doesn't bother me.

Indeed, I'd much rather be hot than cold.

That's why I wasn't one of the complainers when I sat in the press box in 1966 for the first All-Star baseball game I ever saw in person.

The temperature at game time was 106 degrees.

That was the day -- yes, day -- when the National League edged the American League, 2-1, in 10 innings at Busch Stadium in St. Louis.

The game was played in the afternoon. Now they'd play it at night, and that's the smart thing to do. Nobody ever said baseball people were smart.

I covered the game for the morning paper and Bryson, I think, wrote something for the afternoon paper.

I remember picking Bryson up at his home south of Grand in Des Moines. We drove to the airport, then flew on Ozark or Braniff Airlines to St. Louis.

To illustrate how things have changed now, Bryson is deceased, Ozark and Braniff are out of business, so is the afternoon Des Moines Tribune, and the morning Register no longer covers the All-Star game or much of anything else.

In 1966, Bill Bryson's son -- young famous-author-to-be Billy -- was 15 years of age. He might've said goodbye to his dad and I when we drove away from the house.

He also maybe watched the All-Star game on TV back home on Elmwood Drive in Des Moines.

Another thing that's changed is that the All-Star game in 1966 took only 2 hours 19 minutes to play.

All-Star games today take nearly 4 hours to play.

Like I wrote earlier, it was 106 degrees when the 1966 game began.

A guy named Harry "The Hat" Walker knew it was going to be -- as they used to say --"sultry" for the game.

Harry The Hat was a coach for the National League, and I was in the clubhouse when he made a comment about the weather on the eve of the game.

"You break into a sweat just breathing," Harry The Hat said after batting practice.

By the way, Harry The Hat [pictured at the left] got his nickname because he always was adjusting his baseball cap when he stood at home plate during a time at bat.

Don't forget, players didn't wear batting helmets in those days.

Casey Stengel, a baseball legend who was an honorary coach in the '66 game, noticed the weather, too.

"This place holds the heat well," Stengel said of the stadium.

Stengel [he's the old guy] is pictured at the right with Ted Williams, the former Boston Red Sox slugger who also was an honorary coach.

The game in St. Louis was one of the two All-Star games I covered. The other was in 1973 at Kansas City -- a game the National League won, 7-1.

I'll write about that some other time. I'm getting ready to watch tonight's game now.

Bankrupt, Both Off and On the Field

There are, as we all know, lots of jokes making the rounds when it comes to the Chicago Cubs.

The Cubs, of course, are the baseball team that hasn't won a World Series for more than a century.

Now comes word that the team is considering filing for bankruptcy as part of closing the Tribune company's sale of the club to someone named Joe Ricketts for a cool $900 million.

The bankruptcy filing was first reported by Bloomberg News. Now let the jokes begin.

I mean, the Cubs have been bankrupt on the field forever -- or at least as long as I've been paying attention to them.

They've got a $135 million-a-year payroll, but they're a .500 team on the diamond. They've turned mroe Mark Priors into sore-armed, sore-shouldered, sore-elbowed, sore-headed pitchers than any team in history.

They are, after all, a joke.

*

The Cubs will start the second half of the season 2 1/2 games behind St. Louis in the National League Central. Chicago could've been 1 1/2 out had it been able to beat the Cardinals in the night half of yesterday's day-night doubleheader. On the other hand, the Cubs could've been 5 1/2 out had they lost both games Sunday. Thank goodness for Carlos Zambrano's 19th career homer that won the first game.

*

Before church yesterday, a guy [and it wasn't the pastor] said to me, "I saw a lot of lies in the paper this morning."

"Were you reading 'In the Loop' again in the sports section?" I asked.

"No, I was reading what the publisher wrote," the guy answered.

Laura Hollingsworth [pictured at the right] either wrote something that tried to put a positive spin on the 36 people who were laid off late last week at the paper, or somebody wrote it for her.

One of the things she wrote was, "With all due respect to other fine newspapers and media organizations in the state, there is still nothing else like the Des Moines Register in Iowa. No other news organization in Iowa brings you that depth of content, that kind of credible, trusted coverage."

Sure. Tell that to Dan McCool.

*

Speaking of McCool, Sam In Schleswig, not his real name, sounded off on the newspaper business in this e-mail to me:

"Newspapers are indeed in a sorry state. Just read a piece in the New Yorker magazine as to how The Times is hanging on by a thread, thanks in part to a wealthy Mexican bailing out the paper for the time being...My take on Dan McCool is that he was a good reporter who dressed like a bum, a description that could go to lots of newspaper types. They are their own worst enemies...I was more surprised and saddened to learn Harry Baumbert is among those the Register axed. Harry is an excellent photographer who represented the paper in a professional manner. Hard to believe they let him go."

McCool, the Register's longtime wrestling writer, had a habit of wearing T-shirts with wrestling themes on the front, both in and out of the office. I'm sure he was wearing such a T-shirt when a co-worker noticed on a Sunday last winter that McCool was having problems breathing. The guy called 911, and McCool was taken to a hospital by ambulance. He was diagnosed with pneumonia. Now he has no job.

*

One of the things Hollingsworth didn't mention in her essay about why the Register had to dump 36 employees was whether the paper would soom start charging people who read it online. She floated that idea in another essay earlier, but hasn't brought it up lately. That, my friends, would be suicide if the paper tried it. Like an old prostitute once said, "I'm having a difficult time charging for what I used to give away."

*

The Register is now providing online comics [pictured]. I'm sure that'll delay the next wage freeze and layoff.

*

News making the rounds: Manny Acta will be replaced by bench coach Jim Riggleman as manager of the Washington Nationals. Riggleman is a former Chicago Cubs skipper. I'm sure he'll be just what a team with a 26-61 record needs.

Shocked By the Layoff Of Hard-Working Reporter Dan McCool At the Register; Move Basically Tells Readers the Newspaper Is 'Waving the White Flag'

Scott Pierce, Drake's football and women's basketball radio announcer, says he has an idea for a TV show.

It would, he said in an e-mail to me, be "similar to ESPN's 'The Sports Reporters', and it would be a local show featuring current newspaper sports reporters and columnists. Then, right after that, run a show called 'The Ex-Sports Reporters.' I'll bet the latter would be more informative, more intelligent, and [gasp] more accurate.

"I'm sorry to hear about Dan McCool. Not only a great wrestling reporter, but just a good solid sports reporter. I'm guessing Dan's phone is ringing from those he met in the wrestling world wanting him to work for them. If not, they're pretty stupid.

"Pretty soon, the only sports bylines you're going to see are from Iowa City and Ames. Look at the roster left over. Do they realize in November they'll have college football, basketball, and wrestling going on, along with high school football and volleyball playoffs? Then in the winter, four state universities will have men's and women's college basketball, wrestling, and who knows if there's football postseason for Iowa or Northern Iowa. The Iowa Conference will get at least one team in the D-3 playoffs. Plus, November to early-February is when all the college football recruiting stories happen.

"Good luck. I know I'm not going to invest 75 cents a day to find out how they do it.

"One other thing. The online version did not have anything about it. Did the print version of the Register have anything about Joel Hanrahan [from Norwalk] getting the win Thursday for the Nationals despite being traded by the Nationals earlier this month?"

Scott Pierce

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Dan McCool was one of the 36 people dismissed by the Des Moines Register in the layoffs ordered this week by the parent Gannett Co. Publisher Laura Hollingsworth, editor Carolyn Washburn, managing editor Randy Brubaker and sports editor Bryce Miller should have their asses reamed out for letting McCool go. As for Joel Hanrahan, I don't think anyone in the sports department knows him from the man on the moon].

*

Media Watcher, not his real name, also writes about McCool, a guy he says was "a workhorse on the Register's sportswriting staff." Furthermore, Media Watcher says in the following e-mail that dumping McCool shows that the newspaper is "waving the white flag":

"I was shocked to read of Dan McCool's fate.

"Was any part of that voluntary, such as early retirement type payoff, or was it out of the blue?

"If you've noticed lately, he's been quite a workhorse on their depleted staff, not only in wrestling but handling all of the baseball and soccer coverage, as well as most of the swimming and of course football in the fall. He had even contributed to INA all-state meetings, which was a new development for the Register.

"As a writer of wrestling and fan of the sport, I will definitely miss him, but I imagine with his background and abilities he will emerge somewhere in the near future.

"A move like this basically tells Register readers they're waving the white flag.

"Take care,"

Media Watcher

[RON MALY'S COMMENT: My guess is the only thing the paper did for McCool was tell him to turn in his laptop, cell phone and ID card].

*

Mark Robinson of Iowa City, a longtime St. Louis Cardinals fan, had a painful Saturday afternoon with the goings-on at Wrigley Field in Chicago. Here's his e-mail:

"I must say, this Cardinals pitcher, Thompson, must be jettisoned into the world of double-A. How about the guys over in Davenport? He might help them to become, well, a worthy AA team. Or is it A-ball? It is time for the guy to go.

"Also, Ron, I have to point out that the Cardinals, who are usually error-free, are error-prone this season. It's about youth [LaRussa hates youth] and Chris Duncan, the worst outfielder in baseball. And watching that guy try to hit lefthanded pitching is akin to watching the David Letterman Top Ten.

"Too many holes, and it would not surprise me, or bother me, to see the Cubs recover.

"I don't think they will...

"Keep writing."

Mark Robinson
Iowa City

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Brad Thompson, the starter and loser in the Cubs' 5-2 victory, could be sent [again] to the minors as early as today when Kyle Lohse is activated in time for a day-night doubleheader that closes the first half of the season. Thompson was clearly outpitched by lefthander Ted Lilly, who collected his 100th career victory for the Cubs. At midpoint in the season, Mark, I consider the Cardinals the best team in the National League Central, with a few lesser clubs trailing them in the standings. The Cubs, the most underachieving team in baseball so far, are hanging on by a shoestring in the race. They need at least a split in today's games with the Cardinals, but there's no assurance they can get their act together after the All-Star game break. I think it'll be a battle between St. Louis and Milwaukee in the Central, and if the Brewers can get another starting pitcher watch out for them. They can hit].

'Times Are Tougher Than Hell for Some Of Us'

Mark Robinson [pictured at the right] of Iowa City comments on the latest Gannett Co. newspaper messes in Des Moines and Iowa City, plus some other things that are on his mind, in this e-mail:

"Hi, Ron:

"The Iowa City paper to be printed in Cedar Rapids by the competition?

"What next? Dogs and cats getting it on? Gays going straight? The Hawkeyes coming anywhere close to winning a Big Ten basketball championship?

"Of course, the next corporate moves will turn several Iowa newspapers into weekly rags without home delivery. Well, I'm guessing, but it might take about 10 years. One will have to go down to the Hy-Vee or Fareway to pick it up. Those papers will feature stuff written by people who don't live in the central time zone.


"In other words, irrelevant. Marc Hansen will be writing a blog with Basu and Sean Keeler will be the lone delivery boy of the paper Iowa once depended upon [I think he deserves the job]. I will read Hansen's blog. Basu, not so much. Oh, they already have blogs?

"On job losses--

"I am the cynic. I am the guy who went to the job workshop last week in Coralville for people over 50 years of age. I expected perhaps 50 locals to show up, but there easily were 300 of us split half-and-half, women and men. There were men over 60 years of age who want to work, but can't land a job.

"Guess who were advising us on how to get jobs?

"Five Human Resources heads from Pearson, Mercy Hospital, Iowa City Hospitals, and a couple staffing agencies. They were all women around the age of 30. They were not telling me how to get a job, but they were telling me that getting hired at their companies was damned near impossible. You just can't get there from here was the message disguised in bullshit HR speak.

"Sure, the older lady who chaired the seminar told us up front that we 50+ folks are not 'old,' we have wisdom. Ron, my bullshit meter went off the chart.

"Who is a young HR lady going to hire? The 54-year-old guy with the credentials and a mortgage who used to make over 50 grand per year or the 22-year-old woman with a degree that will work for dirt just to pay off her education loans?

"Sorry for the negative vibe, Ron, but times are tougher than hell for some of us. At least, I managed to work the Hawkeyes into my message.

"Keep writing.

Mark Robinson
Iowa City

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Thanks for your thoughts, Mark. In an attempt to take a positive look at this whole thing, be glad the newspaper business didn't schedule that job workshop. What a chaotic experience that would've been. Hang in there].

*

The Cubs and Cardinals open a semi-big four-game series today at Wrigley Field in Chicago. The Cardinals appear to be a very good team that is well-managed, as usual, by Tony LaRussa, who is among the best two or three skippers in the business. The Cubs appear to be a bunch of underachieving malcontents who are managed by Lou Piniella, who seems to be at the give-up stage of his baseball career. That said, you would think St. Louis might win all four games in the series [including a day/night doubleheader Sunday] and open a huge lead in the National League Central. All I know is this: Whenever you expect something to happen in baseball, it rarely does. It is a very unpredictable sport.

*

I was riding a train in Europe about 25 years ago when a guy who had attended the Running Of the Bulls [pictured at the left] in Pamplona, Spain, got onboard. I didn't know much about that event, so the guy gave me some information. It sounded like something I might want to see in the future. Now I don't want to be there. I have read news accounts of a bull goring a 27-year-old Spaniard to death yesterday. That's not something I need to see.

This Maybe Wasn't the Day To Bring Your Lunch To Work

If you noticed that people who work for the Des Moines Register showed up on time today -- or maybe even 5 minutes early -- there was a reason.

Today's the day more layoffs ordered by the parent Gannett Co. were disclosed. See the story at the right side of the page.

That probably means all the security guards were also in the building.

After all, there no doubt wrre reporters, editors, photographers and janitors -- of both the day and night variety -- to escort to the back door. Surely you remember what happened to fired cartoonist Brian Duffy during the most recent newsroom purge.

People whose bylines haven't been in the paper for a week, 10 days or more were in today's edition.

Some folks maybe came back from vacation to show up on the fourth floor at 8th & Locust.

Obviously, so the boss would notice.

I mean, some people I thought had already retired, or told to retire, had their names in the paper again.

The other half of Team Gannett in Iowa -- the Iowa City Press-Citizen -- announced four layoffs yesterday.

*

By the way, even if someone survived today's round of layoffs, he or she won't be able to relax. There'll always be another one down the road. That's the Gannett Way.

*

Kind of on the same subject, Romenesko reports that Slate V "has created a Sally Struthers-esque commercial for BuyOneAnyway, 'a foundation that encourages people like you to purchase newspapers daily even though no one wants to read them anymore.' The narrator tells us that 'for just pennies a day you can clothe, feed and shelter newspaper professionals' and that 'once payment is made we'll send you the name, bio and snail mail address of the newspaper professional your donations are supporting.'"

*

Don't forget to vote for your favorite Hawkeye and Cyclone football player, even though I already wrote several days ago that Nile Kinnick and Troy Davis are the best. The reason you should vote is so people at the paper can think people are still reading it once in a while.

*

But don't vote for Sarah Palin. For anything.

*

Palin's name even came up at our sportswriters' lunch this week. A guy called her "an airhead." Imagine that.

Jokes and Other Stuff

As further illustration about how out of touch the mainstream media is with things, there are stories circulating in USA Today [now there's a heavyweight publication if I ever saw one] and other newspapers that say Sarah Palin is still popular with some Republicans.

Well, one or two Republicans anyway.

Anyone who thinks the outgoing governor of Alaska is popular with anyone other than her family has been vacationing in outer space.

Palin is a joke, and she'll continue to be a joke with the David Lettermans of the world until the next time the Republicans have to pick a leader.

*

Another joke, of course, is Michael Jackson. Some will say I came along too early to appreciate him. Or maybe it was too late. But how that guy's death can be on page 1 of anything other than one of those publications you see at the checkout lane at Hy-Vee is beyond me.

*

It's nice to know Shawn Johnson will be waving at people during the State Fair parade. Now that's wholesomeness if I ever saw it.

*

The Albany [N.Y.] newspaper laid off its sports editor. Hmmm.

*

Ryan Braun was right to be critical of his Milwaukee Brewers teammates and general manager Doug Melvin. The only problem was that he ripped the wrong part of the team. Braun said the pitchers were lousy. After watching the Brewers get mauled last night by the Cardinals, 5-0, he should have pointed the finger -- and I don't care which finger -- at himself and the other hitters.

*

The Cubs really showed 'em last night with that 2-1 loss to a very ordinary Atlanta team. It looked like Ryan Dempster, the clown who broke his big toe by jumping over the dugout fence a few days earlier, was batting cleanup for them.

*

Ny friend Paul Delger of Kanawha wrote a nice story for the Mason City Globe Gazette. Here it is, and the photo by Bryon Houlgrave of the Globe Gazette is at the right:

Mark Mullins intimately knows his new motorcycle. That’s because the Garner man crafted it himself from a bare steel frame.

After about four years of construction, he has a bike unlike any other.

“None of it looks like a factory machine,” said Mullins, a Realtor and casino security person. “Every piece on it is not typical.”

The bike features a complex electrical wiring system, stretched gas tanks, an over- length billet aluminum front end, an entire shop-built tail section, a wider-than-standard rear tire and a seat made from a grain scoop wrapped with a thrift store leather coat.

Mullins, 47, estimated the building project took at least 1,000-1,500 shop hours. He constructed the bike in his attached garage.

Most of the major parts were purchased on eBay or from a cycle shop in Anamosa.

“The whole bike basically showed up in a box one piece at a time,” Mullins said.

“The frame is from North Dakota, the gas tanks and front fender are from Colorado. The front fork is from Pennsylvania. The tires and rims are from Texas. The oil tank, headlight and brakes are from Florida.

“Lots of other parts, like the rear fender, fender braces, oil lines, gas tank mounts, etc., were all fabricated by me.

“I saved money anywhere I could on it,” he said. “I really enjoyed it because I’m a bargain hunter.”

Mullins said the bike is not for sale but judged its value at $30,000.

Now he is suffering from construction withdrawal.

“I’m a little sad the project is over,” Mullins said. “When I’m in the shop making a motorcycle it’s my game of golf.”

Although the building phase is completed, it may take a while before Mullins can ride his motorcycle on the road.

He has applied for a special construction title and registration from the state of Iowa. The state requires this so officials can watch for stolen bike parts. Mullins said that the permission could take from less than a month to several months.

Bike Basics

• 2 up and 2 out Classic Motor Works “Rustler” frame

• 2-inch over ball-milled front end

• Harley-Davidson “80” Evolution crate motor

• Chrome inner and outer primary chain drive final

• 200 mm. rear tire

N.L. Central Either Has 3 Or 4 Decent Teams, Or It's a Tightly-Bunched Division Of a Half-Dozen Very Ordinary Clubs; By the Way, No RAGBRAI for Me

If there's such a thing as a big week in the National League Central, this is it.

The way I look at it, there are three or four decent teams in the division, or it's a tightly-bunched division of a half-dozen very ordinary teams.

When they play against one another, of course, nobody knows how bad they are. Kind of like Big Ten basketball.

Anyway, first-place St. Louis opens a three-game series at second-place Milwaukee tonight, then the Cardinals and the best baseball player on the planet -- Albert Pujols [pictured at the right] -- come to Chicago for a four-game series that starts Friday.

At the same time the Cardinals are playing at Wrigley Field, the Brewers must play the Los Angeles Dodgers, who happen to be the best team in baseball.

Mark Robinson of Iowa City has several things -- including baseball -- on his mind in this e-mail:

Hi, Ron:

"I put a good 208,000 miles on my 1995 Olds Cutlass before the transmission gave up the ghost three years ago. That was one helluva car, I tell ya. Leather seats and the upgraded sound system along with satellite radio made it a dream machine. I do honor your Toyota.

"Your obsession with the St. Louis Cardinals is part and parcel of Cubs fans who are pissed off at how futile the Cubs' efforts have been in the last 100 years.

"Ron, you may want to go ballistic on the Cardinals and La Tony, but, like your Cubs, the Cardinals are going nowhere this season.

"The St. Louis media loves the Cards? Who knew?

"Do you recall, Ron a year before the Cards won the series that there were planes flying over Busch Stadium asking for LaRussa's head? Save our team, the banners read.

"My take:

"Tony is not the best manager. Duncan is not the best pitching coach. The Cards are a sub-par team.

"The St. Louis-Chicago rivalry is as good as the Boston-Yankees rivalry.

"Albert Pujols will be, in 10 years, considered the best player in the history of baseball."

Mark Robinson
Iowa City

*

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: I spend entirely too much time listening to Al Hrabosky do commentary on the Cardinals' telecasts. What he says has an influence on my thoughts and my writing. The only way around this predicament is to wage a campaign to get Hrabosky fired. He is a sick man, and he makes me sick].

*

Chuck Offenburger [pictured at the left], the outstanding columnist from Cooper, IA, read that I took a tentative ride the other day on my $20 no-frills, no-gears cruiser bicycle that I bought from a Target store in mid-December two or three years ago.

Here's what he wrote to me in an e-mail:

"Ron...

"Your readers need a photo of you on your new bicycle. Can you put Maxine to work on that? And we better by God see you wearing a helmet in that photo, too.

"RAGBRAI starts in two weeks. Are you thinking of getting ready and going on it? This year's ride overnights for the first time ever in Indianola, the hometown of Clarence Pickard, who really 'made' RAGBRAI. He was 83 years old when he rode the first ride across Iowa in 1972. When people saw that a fellow of Pickard's age could make it all the way across the state on a bicycle, everybody wanted t try it.

"You're just a pup compared to Pickard's 83 years when he first did it.

"Ride on, brother!"

Chuck Offenburger
Cooper, IA

[Here's what I wrote in an e-mail to Offenburger: "Chuck, thanks for the e-mail regarding bicycling as it pertains to me. After riding various kinds of bikes, dating to when I was 6 or so, I have now resumed straddling a no-frills cruiser that I bought new for $20 in mid-December at a West Des Moines Target store. I let the bike sit in my shed for a couple of years, then decided to have one of my neighbors inflate the tires. I am now in my infancy regarding bicycling again. I thought pedaling a bike would be good for me in addition to the large amount of walking I do. However, I have promised myself I will ride only in parking lots and on sidewalks. No street biking for me. It makes me nervous to hear the engine of a car behind me. I'm too damn old to risk being hit by a 15-year-old kid using his learners' permit to drive. I certainly know the bicycle rider always comes out second-best in one of those confrontations. So no RAGBRAI for this guy. By the way, I still have my 10-speed Raleigh with the skinny tires that I had when I used to bike to the Waveland tennis courts in Des Moines when guys like John Karras, Chuck Reynolds, Knox Craig and Bill Holden [a real name out of the past!] were playing tennis. I'm a bit tempted to buy new tires for the Raleigh and ride it again someday. But, like I said, only in a parking lot on a Sunday afternoon. I'll be keeping up with you pros on RAGBRAI in a few weeks. I hope Carolyn Washburn joins you on the route. Great hearing from you and keep writing great stuff!"]

*

They've got some very short memories at the paper.

I mean, there was something in the business pages today that said the af2 league -- I think that's the football league in which the Barnstormrs now play -- might put its offices in Des Moines.

Listen, it seems like only yesterday when the somebody at the paper kept writing that the Arena League -- the real Arena League, that is -- might put its hall of fame, if there is such a thing, into a vacant building in downtown Des Moines.

I think the building in which the hall of fame was supposed to be located is still vacant. Or maybe it's burned to the ground.

So don't waste my time writing about the af2 league headquartering in Des Moines.

"Let's Think Of a Project That Lets 'Car Wash' Know We're Not Laying Around, Waiting To Be Sent To the Farm Department Or Escorted To the Back Door"

Thoughts after my 10 minutes with the paper yesterday and today:

In their never-ending efforts to get readers involved with the news, people involved with the Register's sports section had an embarrassingly-long promotional project yesterday that was headlined BEST OF THE BEST?

I mean, the size of the type was larger than when Nile Kinnick died. Larger than when Troy Davis was invited to the Heisman Trophy ceremonies in New York two years in succession.

I guess it was a slow-news day. When a promotion is announced in the first week of July to pick the best Hawkeye football player and the best Cyclone football player, you know there's not much going on.

It's a dumb question anyway. It sounds like an idea that was hatched at a Friday night beer-drinking session when some guy said, "Let's think of a project that lets Car Wash [that's what newsroom people call Carolyn Washburn, the editor] know we're not laying around, waiting to be sent to the farm department, the mailroom or out of the back door."

The answers to who's the best Hawkeye and who's the best Cyclone were answered in the previous century.

Nile Kinnick [pictured at the right] was the greatest Hawkeye, without a doubt. Hell, they named the stadium after the guy and put a large statue of him in front of the place, didn't they?

Kinnick won the 1939 Heisman Trophy, was a Phi Beta Kappa student and may have become a future president of the United States had his life not ended at 24 on June 2, 1943 in the crash of a Navy plane in the Caribbean Sea.

Troy Davis [pictured at the left] became the best Cyclone player ever when he rushed for 2,010 yards in 1995 and 2,185 in 1996. He was fifth in the Heisman voting in 1995 and second in '96.

Davis was a major reason Dan McCarney rescued an Iowa State football program that was being called a coaching graveyard. For that, Cyclone fans should be forever thankful.

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By the way, make sure you cast your vote in the newspaper's football poll. The sports department can't wait long to get that project in print. Another layoff is coming very quickly at the Register and all other Gannett Co. papers, so the people managing, and writing for, the sports department want to make sure they get the results before the grim reaper comes to escort them to the back door of the newsroom. After what happened to cartoonist Brian Duffy the last time there was a mass layoff, no one is safe.

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That brings me to Rekha Basu's essay in yesterday's opinion section about newspapers. It was headlined Reflecting on future of newspapers. The trouble is, people like Basu aren't part of the solution; they're a big part of the problem. She mentioned some of the daily newspapers that have closed, and wrote about the "layoffs and staffwide [unpaid] furloughs" at the Register. Unfortunately, she didn't offer any reasons why the business is in such sad shape. All she had to do was look in the mirror.

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A headline in today's sports section said Windy City teams get snubbed. Wrong. [The story, by the way, was from the Chicago Tribune]. The Chicago Cubs and Chicago White Sox got one player apiece named to the All-Star teams. They didn't deserve that. Both teams are very ordinary and don't have anyone who should be an All-Star. All you have to do is watch them play.


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See you later. It's too nice a day to be indoors. I'm ready for my walk.

Fat Tires and No Firecrackers

I'm getting ready to take a short bicycle ride on my $20 no-gears, no-frills Target cruiser with the fat tires.

By the way, that's fat, not flat.

But before I go, I want to write something about Grant Wood.

Not so much about the Iowa-born artist, but one of his paintings.

The one from 1931 that was titled "Young Corn," which is pictured.

The reason I want to say something about "Young Corn" is because it once was at Wilson Junior High School in Cedar Rapids. Wilson is where I attended junior high and high school.

The Cedar Ropids Gazette had a story the other day, written by Meredith Hines-Dochterman, that said "Young Corn" is among nearly 500 works of art in the Cedar Rapids school district's collection.

The story went on to say that the Cedar Rapids school district’s total art collection was recently appraised at about $16 million.

“'I’m not sure there are other districts with an art collection like this,' said Marcia Hughes, district spokeswoman.

"The collection began almost 100 years ago, when it became tradition for people to commission or donate art as memorials to district staff or students. The most valuable gift was given by Wilson Junior High students, who launched a penny drive to commission a painting by Wood in memory of a beloved teacher. Wood produced 'Young Corn' for $300 in 1931. It is currently appraised at $8 million.

I didn't attend seventh grade at Wilson until 1947, long after the penny drive to commission the painting by Wood. But I had at least one aunt and one uncle who may have attended Wilson in 1931.

For all I know, they participated in the penny drive.

However, I'm pretty certain "Young Corn" was at Wilson when I went to school there. And I'm glad it's worth $8 million now.

Meanwhile, some people are upset because another Grant Wood painting that hung on the wall across from the office has been removed from Wilson. It had been presented to Jenny Post, who was the principal before Pierre Tracy [who was the principal when I was at Wilson]. It's probably at the art museum, but that was her personal property.

That's a column for another day.

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I noticed that the St. Louis Cardinals paid a $3.1 million bonus to a 16-year-old kid from the Dominican Republic this week. That's interesting because the Cardinals have the reputation of being tight. I mean, really tight. They might spend $3.1 million on a 16-year-old outfielder, but they try to bring in 25-year-old pitchers with many years of experience at a bargain-basement price. I've going to have to ask Rev. Kendall Meyer about that.


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Meanwhile, I see the Los Angeles Times has promoted its sports editor [a guy named Randy Harvey] to associate editor of the paper. And the obituaries editor [Jon Thurber] is the new managing editor. Making the obits editor the managing editor might be a sign of the times in the newspaper business. He's used to dealing with a lot of dead things -- especially dead people.

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I didn't get to Missouri this year to get any firecrackers.


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I'll see you on my bike. By the way, it might have fat tires, but the sidewalls are white.

The Court Of Appeal

As Wimbledon entered the round of 16 this week under the newly-domed Centre Court, it triggered a number of thoughts, one being: Roger Knapp, I still can't quite believe he's gone.

My observations of Roger started in my old tennis days in high school, among the most fun times in my life. Not to sound like a codger who can't escape the past, but a typical summer evening in Indianola consisted of heading to the Simpson College courts and hitting tennis balls all night. Lots of people in town played tennis. College faculty, teenagers, women's groups, musicians (two top players on our team were horn players who have gone on to outstanding jazz performance and university teaching careers). Heck, a first date with a girl from Lincoln, that big school in the big city, consisted of bringing her down to Indianola to play some tennis. Even my good friend in college, a state tournament high school golfer from Kennedy in Cedar Rapids, loved playing tennis, and could hit the ball very well. That was an era of where two-thirds of the men's U.S. Open tennis field were U.S. players, a far cry from where the U.S. is today on the men's tour.

And among us tennis rats in towns across Iowa, the tennis hero to all of us was Roger Knapp. Any sports nut who's been around for a spell in this state probably knows of Roger. His untimely passing a year ago spring in Florida at age 48 from an aortal aneurysm was and still is a jolt.

I was on the Indianola High School tennis team--playing in the lofty No. 3 doubles slot--when Roger played for Des Moines Hoover. He was the first freshman to win the state tennis title, and played at a level well beyond the prevailing talent level in Iowa. He moved to California after his sophomore year so he could play year-round. I believe he lived in the La Jolla area, and ended up playing for tennis powerhouse USC, lettering all four years. He briefly made it onto the men's pro tour, and if I recall, his biggest win was over Henri Leconte in England, a world top-10 player at the time. Some people mentioned he was one heck of a basketball player as well, and could have done some damage as a Huskie roundballer if he hadn't specialized in tennis.

Knapp played an exhibition match against his pro coach, Pancho Segura, on an outdoor court at Southridge Mall (the Jordan Creek of Des Moines during that time) in the early 1980s. Pancho, with his two-handed forehand, beat him. I don't know if Knapp was trying that hard or not, but he was just as great of sport after that kind of humiliation as when he was beating up on poor, sacrificial high schoolers.

Whenever Hoover came to town for a meet, Knapp would unfold his 6-foot 4-inch frame out of the team van and run onto the court and introduce himself to his next victim. "Hi, I'm Roger," he'd cheerfully say. As if he even needed to say who he was. He would then proceed to methodically dismantle the poor sap while the rest of us tennis underlings looked on in awe. His racket in high school was the old Wilson T-2000. Can you imagine using that racket today? It'd be like hitting a fastball with a wiffle bat. Knapp's Herculean left arm turned that old-school relic into a nuclear launcher.

Tennis is a great sport, dependent on individual skill, athleticism and endurance. Tennis participation, down for so many years, may be making a comeback. And a great rivalry may be taking shape, akin to the Borg/McEnroe era, between Federer and Nadal. A New York Times Magazine monster-size feature on Rafael Nadal a couple of weeks ago talked about the pro tennis world being absolutely agog over Nadal's "reverse forehand" stroke (in addition to being agog over his triceps). That forehand technique is unique; instead of following through over the opposite shoulder, Nadal's forehand stroke violently whips up over his same-side shoulder. Most pro players put topspin on their forehand shot that comes in anywhere from 1800 to 2700 revolutions per minute, according to the article. Nadal's reverse forehand has been "clocked" spinning at 4900 RPM, making the ball rebound like a hyperkinetic Tazmanian Devil when it lands on the court.

I miss Knapp, I miss Dick Enberg calling Wimbledon with Bud Collins on TV, and the occasional pro exhibtion match that would come to Des Moines (remember Borg playing at Vets Auditorium?) But I love watching Nadal, Federer (who may be the best ever), and the Williams sisters. I understand Roosevelt's Charlie Caris, a three-time state champ headed to Georgetown, has as good of game as has been seen around here in a long time. Maybe tennis in this country never was in decline. Maybe, as the Ryder Cup has shown in golf, the rest of the world has caught up with us.

--Craig S. Maltby, APR

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Roger Knapp, who was Drake's men's tennis coach from 1989 to 1993, died March 30, 2008 in Sarasota, Fla. Knapp coached the Bulldogs to consecutive Missouri Valley Conference championships in 1992 and 1993. He transformed a program that owned a 3-20 record when he joined Drake in 1989 into a perennial power in the conference with nationally-ranked players. Craig Maltby lives in Clive].

Cardinals Have Baseball's Best Player, Best Manager, Best Pitching Coach and Best Fans, But They No Longer Lead the Lousy Division In Which They Play

Excuse me. I've been so busy lately being critical of the Chicago Cubs that I haven't written enough about the St. Louis Cardinals.

In the event you haven't noticed, the Cardinals have sunk from first place to second in the National League Central, which is the worst division in baseball.

For some reason, Tony LaRussa -- the best manager in baseball [or so he says] -- can't seem to motivate his boys.

The Cardinals can't score when there are runners on base and their bullpen is pretty bad.

That sounds a lot like the Cubs.

The only difference is that the Cardinals have Albert Pujols [pictured at the left], who has already hit 30 home runs, and the Cubs don't.

I'm not sure the entire Cubs team has hit 30 home runs this season.

When Albert Pujols quits playing baseball in St. Louis, I think he could be a success in the National Football League.

He could probably be an astronaut or do a good job being mayor of St. Louis, too. He could clean up all crime, and believe me, there's plenty of it in that town.

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I laugh a lot at the Cardinals when I watch them play on TV.

They're a very serious-looking bunch.

I don't think anyone is allowed to smile in the Cardinals' dugout. Tony's orders.

LaRussa scowls when he stands in the dugout.

He even scowls when he takes off his glasses and goes out to the mound to change pitchers.

Tony doesn't want people to see him wear glasses.

In other words, he kind of acts like a 14-year-old kid sometimes.

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Cardinals pitching coach Dave "Evil Eyes" Duncan scowls when he writes things in that big notebook he has in front of him.

Duncan's son, the butcher who plays leftfield, sometimes scowls, too.

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Dave Duncan is the best pitching coach in baseball.

I know because I think LaRussa told that to the reporters who cover him in St. Louis.

The reporters believe everything LaRussa tells them.

The reporters are little soldiers, Tony LaRussa is their general. They are supposed to do whatever LaRussa tells him.

Indeed, I think LaRussa has St. Louis reporters intimidated.

I've watched his postgame press conferences on TV. When he hears a question he doesn't like -- which happens to be all three of the questions he gets -- he tells the reporter he doesn't know anything about baseball.

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Getting back to Evil Eyes Dave Duncan [pictured with LaRussa at the right] again.

I think it's a putdown and an embarrassment that LaRussa makes Evil Eyes sit there, writing things in that notebook during a game.

I mean, who goes over that notebook later -- Evil Eyes, LaRussa or the ballboy?

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I also think St. Louis fans were expecting much more from ex-Brave, ex-Ranger, ex-Cub and ex-Indian Mark DeRosa than they've gotten, or are going to get.

DeRosa is not exactly Ty Cobb. Like I said earlier, he was just as guilty as any other Cub when the Chicagos couldn't score any runs while getting blown out by Arizona and Los Angeles in the last two playoffs.

DeRosa is now 0-for-9 as a Cardinal.

Like I said, those aren't Ty Cobb numbers.

But he says his wrist hurts. That's probably why he can't get a hit.

DeRosa is a good untilityman, that's all. He won't win you any World Series.

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Getting back to LaRussa.

God's Gift to Managing is among the skippers named by major league players in a Sports Illustrated poll as the least they'd like to play for.

Of course, Lou Piniella of the Cubs was at the top of that list. Ozzie Guillen of the White Sox -- who is spending his entire career being jealous of Wrigley Field -- was in the list, too. Joe Torre also.

I wouldn't worry much about who's on that list. Any player can say anything when the magazine doesn't use his name.

Kind of like when Mike Gartner is ripping people all the time in his little Civic Skinny column in the City View paper, but doesn't identify himself by name. Gutless if you ask me.

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I almost forgot to say that the Cardinals also have baseball's best fans. I know because the team's TV announcers keep telling me.

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One of these days, I'll write about the Milwaukee Brewers, too. They're the best team in the National League Central, and they don't even have the best player, the best manager, the best pitching coach and the best utilityman who is hitting 0-for-9.

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If you notice reporters covering things they don't normally write about at the Des Moines Register, it's because they're trying to save their jobs. Don't forget, there's another big layoff coming within days at 8th & Locust and all other Gannett Co. papers.