'How To Save $$$...Screw the Press'--Ohio State, Michigan, Wisconsin Will Stop Printing Media Guides. I'm Betting It Will Become a National Trend

This is called "The Case Of the Vanishing Press Guide."

An e-mail forwarded to me from George Wine is titled, "How To Save $$$...Screw the Press."

The message goes on to say, "Please don't ask my opinion on this. The Internet cops wouldn't allow it in cyberspace. Big Ten schools Michigan, Ohio State and Wisconsin have opted to stop printing media guides for their collegiate sports teams. According to the Associated Press, Michigan and Ohio State will save more than $250,000 a year combined. Wisconsin's athletic department will pocket as much as $200,000. The information will be made available on the Internet instead."

Wine knows all about media guides. He was in charge of publishing them for many years. He spent 25 years as the sports information director at the University of Iowa. Before that, he was at Northern Iowa and Memphis State.

The sad thing is, with Ohio State and Michigan -- which historically have been the Big Two in the Big Ten -- halting the printing of press guides, others will certainly follow.

Before long, I predict it will become a national trend.

However, neither Iowa nor Iowa State -- or such universities as Drake and Northern Iowa, for that matter -- have announced that they're abandoning media guides yet.

Actually, football media guides in recent years have changed anyway.

Most universities, such as Iowa, have had two of them.

In the photo at the right, take a look at what Iowa has done in recent years.

Most of the historical and statistical information that sportswriters and broadcasters value so much, and use as reference material, is in the gold book at the left. The book at the right is primarily recruiting material.

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It was good to see that this morning's paper finally caught up with that story about the new girls' basketball coach at Roosevelt. Sure, it was a day-and-a-half after you read it here but, hey, you can't expect miracles anymore.

Scott Pierce Tells Me, 'As a Cardinal Fan, I Hope Bob Brenly Is the Manager Of the Cubs Someday--Beware Of Expert Analysts,' I Say Let's Find Out

Scott Pierce [pictured at the left] made my workload today a lot easier with this e-mail:

"As a Cardinal fan, I hope Bob Brenly is the manager of the Cubs someday. The way he completely lost that D-Back clubhouse suits me just fine. Beware of expert analysts. I've often said to ex-coach color commentators, "you get smarter with headsets on."

"I really think there's a physical problem with Lee. While a couple of years ago was a career year for him, he's not this bad. He's a solid player. His numbers the last couple of years just don't make sense. The Bradley signing was the dumb move by the Cubs. They needed a CF, not another high-priced corner outfielder. They've got 3 of them now (Soriano and Fukudome) and can't trade any of them because of their salaries.

"By the way, Missouri S&T used to be called Missouri-Rolla. A difficult part of our
football schedule is going to be that back-to-back road swing to San Diego and Davidson.
I know it wore me out and nobody was hitting me with pads on.

"One final thing.....if you get a chance [this] morning, come see our opening day at the
Kiwanis Miracle League. It's located just across the street from your favorite DSM
ballpark. Everything starts at 9:45 a.m. with a sculpture dedication. The Miracle
League field gives kids with physical or mental challenges a chance to play baseball.
It's really cool."

Scott Pierce

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Pierce's comments about Bob Brenly are in response to me writing several times that I'd like to see the former Arizona Diamondbacks manager succeed Lou Piniella with the Cubs. Sooner rather than later. Brenly won a World Series with Arizona, but later was fired and now is a commentator in the Cubs' TV broadcast booth--holding up his end of the bargain much better than play-by-play announcer Len Kasper, who tends to put me to sleep with his work. [Kasper and Brenly are pictured at the right; Brenly is at the right]. I figure a guy like Brenly, who has already won a World Series, might get the Cubs over the hump when the postseason comes -- or, rather, if it comes. Piniella's postseason record with the Cubs is 0-6. It's going to be a challenge for the Cubs to even get into the postseason this year, using a lineup that should be playing at No-Name Field in Des Moines. Speaking of baseball fields, Scott, thanks for your note on Kiwanis Miracle League field. I can't get there this morning because I've got a Little League game being played by my grandson's team at 10 a.m., but I'll take a look at the place soon. Pierce's comments on Derrek Lee of the Cubs and the Missouri S&T football team that's on Drake's schedule were in connection with things I wrote in a column this week. Thanks for your thoughts, Scott.]

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Somebody help me.

At the top of the Register's sports page today it said -- or should've said --No-Name Classic

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Even worse, the headline said, Nielsen out front again

Huh?

Isn't it supposed to be Nielsen in front again?

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Teamwork. Togetherness.

Can't beat it these days in the newspaper business.

It seems to me that the Des Moines Register just couldn't get along without WHO-TV and the Iowa City Press-Citizen.

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I'm very glad Iowa has a better basketball team after playing three games in Italy and Greece.

Yoo bad the fourth game, which was supposed to be played tomorrow in Athens, was called off. I'm sure the Hawkeyes would've been even better with four games.

I asked a guy I know, who is a little closer to the scene, about that 2-1 record.

"Hey, I thought going halfway around the world to play four games was hardly worthwhile," the guy said. "Be interesting to hear what Coach Lick thinks they got out of the trip. Those two wins might look pretty big next winter, though."

I'll bet the scenery pictures the players took are good, too.

NASCAR Last Week, Dodgers Next Week--Now I've Got A Number Of Other Guest Appearances Our Own Little Shawn Johnson Can Make In the Future

The hottest little star in the guest appearance business is our own little Shawn Johnson.

I keep calling Johnson little because she's...well, little.

I mean, some of her is little. What I really mean is, she's not very tall. Four-eight or something.

The Olympic gold medal gymnast and "Dancing With the Stars" champion -- who used to live in West Des Moines -- was decked out in a NASCAR outfit at last week's Coca-Cola 600 in Concord, N.C. [notice the photo], and next Monday she'll throw out the ceremonial first pitch at the Los Angeles Dodgers-Arizona Diamondbacks baseball game at Dodger Stadium.

The Dodger Stadium appearance prompted Diane Pucin of the Los Angeles Times to make this comment: "We'll see whether the Dodgers dress Johnson in a baseball uniform."

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Hey, listen, I'm all for the 17-year-old Johnson piling up the big bucks while America carries on a love affair with her.

Indeed, I predict many more opportunities for her. But, obviously, the money has to be right. I saw her appear at halftime of a Valley High School football game a couple of years ago when she was still supposedly a student there, but I don't think she works for free anymore.

Anyway, here are a few of the possibilities I can see for Shawn to further inflate her bank account:

1. Our diminutive star will ride in one of those child carriers behind a bicycle ridden by Lance Armstrong at RAGBRAI. Of course, I'm fairly certain the Des Moines Register -- sponsor of the bike ride -- would have to lay off the entire newsroom, including editor Carolyn Washburn and managing editor Randy Brubaker, to help pay Shawn's appearance fee.

2. For the right piece of change, Shawn will perform the coin toss prior to the Iowa State-Iowa football game Sept. 12 in Ames. Part of the demands by Johnson's agent will be that Jack Trice Stadium be renamed Shawn Johnson Stadium. Iowa State athletic director Jamie Pollard said he'd have to think about it.

3. Shawn will appear both before the game and at halftime of a Valley football game in October. The last I heard, she still hasn't taken her senior classes by mail from Valley. But when she is introduced to an overflow crowd at a big game [hey, they're all big games at Valley], she will be given an honorary diploma because there's no way she'll ever have enough time to earn a real diploma. To get into the spirit of things, and not to be outdone, Dowling will also send her a diploma via FedEx.

4. Shawn will do backflips, and sign autographs at the same time, in aisle 5 at the Hy-Vee on 35th Street in West Des Moines sometime in the fall. She'll completely take over the grocery chain's motto. She alone will be the "Helpful Smile In Every Aisle."

5. Mike Gartner will invite Johnson to sign autographs at No-Name Team's baseball FanFest next winter, and Gartner will quietly send a hand-written note, with the word "Sigh" on the envelope, to Shawn's agent, wondering if she'll give him a "home-team discount" and waive her appearance fee. Johnson will tell both Gartner and Sam Bernabe to screw themselves and refuse to sign autographs unless No-Name Stadium is renamed Sec Taylor Stadium, the way it should be.

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One [well, one that we know of] of Derrick Rose's grades at Simeon High School in Chicago was changed from a "D" to a "C" before he got to the University of Memphis to play a season of basketball.

And the rumor is that it wasn't Rose who took his SAT entrance exam -- it was someone posing as him.

And the Chicago Sun-Times says the NCAA has accused Memphis of improperly providing $2,260 in extra benefits for an "associate" of a player during the 2007-08 season. Yahoo.com identified the associate as Rose's brother, Reggie.

I sure can't imagine John Calipari being involved in a mess like that, can you? Not squeaky-clean John Calipari.

Yeah. Sure.

Of course, Calipari is now the coach at Kentucky, not Memphis.

And Rose was named the NBA's rookie of the year this past season for the Chicago Bulls.

Here's what will happen: Calipari will remain at Kentucky, a place that has historically hired thugs to coach, and the NCAA will do nothing to him. Nothing will happen to Rose. Memphis will be put on probation for two weeks by the NCAA.

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The Chicago papers say Cubs manager Lou Piniella didn't talk to reporters last night after his team lost to the Dodgers, 2-1.

As usual, Piniella was outmanaged by the Dodgers' Joe Torre.

Remember the playoffs last season? L.A. won all three games against the Cubs.

Torre used "small ball" -- bunts, stolen bases and tremendous pitching -- to make Piniella look silly last night.

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It was a pleasure to watch the game on MLB.com.

That gave me the opportunity to hear play-by-play announcer Bob Costas and analyst Dan Plesac in operation for the first time all season.

Both Costas and Plesac said the Cubs aren't as good as they were last year and that Chicago first baseman Derrek Lee isn't the same player he was in past seasons.

You don't hear stuff like that from Len Kasper and Bob Brenly on the Cubs' telecasts. Kasper is an obvious houseman, and Brenly should be managing the Cubs, not talking about them on TV.

Costas and Plesac wondered if the Cubs might "swallow their pride" and try to obtain Mark DeRosa, the do-everything player general manager Jim Hendry traded to Cleveland during the winter.

Let's hope they know something the rest of us don't.

Getting DeRosa back sure beats letting him go to the Cardinals now or in the off-season.

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I think Piniella should get Jake Fox in the lineup as often as possible. Put him at third base until Aramis Ramirez is healthy. Play him in left-field occasionally because Alfonso Soriano isn't getting it done.

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I now have 240 followers on Twitter.

Some of them I know, some I don't know.

One I don't know, and one who is unnamed, says in a bio: "Dip Me In Chocolate, Roll Me In Dough."

Somebody will have to explain that one to me.

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Photo of Shawn Johnson courtesy of Streeter Lecka/Getty Images.

In Answer To the Question About Whether Overpaid, Underachieving Chicago Cubs Are Out Of Control, I'm Saying Yes and It's About Time

For people wondering if the Chicago Cubs are out of control, the answer is yes.

Furthermore, I'll add the comment that it's about time.

I'm happy a team made up of overpaid, underachieving and spoiled players is finally showing some life.

It was just a few days ago that I wrote that the Cubs were dead.

I said the St. Louis Cardinals were dead, too, and all that did was make my Cardinal friends mad and get Tony LaRussa's team winning again.

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As for the Cubs, I'm happy rightfielder Milton Bradley got into it with an umpire and drew a two-game suspension that was later reduced to one game.

I'm also happy pitcher Ted Lilly, who was supposed to be a spectator, stormed out of the dugout and got into an argument with Bob Davidson -- who is not only a very bad plate umpire, but a very bad base umpire, too -- and may face a suspension.

I'm happy, too, that pitcher Carlos Zambrano [shown in the Chicago Sun-Times photo at the top] got kicked out of yesterday's game with Pittsburgh after bumping plate umpire Mark Carlson during a heated argument. Zambrano also threw a baseball and his glove during after his ejection, and has already been suspended for six games and fined.

This kind of stuff is the best thing that could happen to the Cubs.

They need to show some life.

Now, with a number of regulars facing suspension, guys like Jake Fox and others from No-Name Team in Des Moines can move up in the National League Central standings.

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After yesterday's game, Cubs manager Lou Piniella told reporters that he's the only calm, cool and collected guy in the dugout. That's too bad. I wish Piniella would do something to get kicked out of a game or several. Don't forget, I'm the guy who wants Cubs TV analyst Bob Brenly to manage the Cubs.

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Thanks to IowaFootball.com, I've got a picture of Iowa's new artificial turf field inside Kinnick Stadium posted at the right.

The website says, "The work continues, and won't be complete for several weeks. However, that doesn't mean a good look at what the finished product isn't available.

"Once the project is completed later this summer, Iowa will become the seventh Big Ten university to have an artificial surface in its football facility. That list includes Illinois, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio State, Indiana and the new stadium under construction at Minnesota. Iowa currently practices on a synthetic surface when it is outdoors at the Kenyon Practice Facility and when inside "The Bubble," Iowa's indoor practice facility.

"The FieldTurf surface will replace the PAT -- Prescription Athletic Turf installed during the 2005 season. Kinnick has featured a grass playing surface since the 1989 season. It had an artificial surface from 1972 through 1988."

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Speaking of pictures, it looks like the Des Moines Register is trying to start a new trend--publishing photos of restaurants with people in them.

Datebook had a picture this morning of a Grimes restaurant named The Radish that actually had customers sitting at the tables.

For a long time, the Register seemed to be intent on publishing photos of restaurants with nobody sitting in the seats.

From that, readers might draw a couple of conclusions: 1. The food was lousy and nobody came to the restaurants; 2. The restaurants were already closed.

I, of course, have made fun of the paper for many months over the photos of restaurants with no people in them, so I'll gladly take credit for the editors deciding to get people in the pictures--even if they had to drag them in off the street to pose at the tables.

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Speaking of Datebook, there was a headline this morning that said, "Trendy Ames eatery uses local ingredients."

Forget me on that place. I don't go to places that are "trendy" -- whatever the hell that means.

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A guy at the sportswriters' lunch this week said the Register had a recent headline that called a filly a philly in a horserace story.

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That was a nice "personal perspective" by Andie Dominick on today's Opinion page.

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A headline today said, "D.M. hospitals will stop giving birth information to Register"

I suppose some nitwit at the paper will now decide that new mothers and fathers can get information published in the paper about the birth of their kids, but they'll have to pay for it -- like the obituaries.

We Talked About the Darnedest Things At Erv's 90th Birthday Party--Gary Hinrichs' 1942 Basketball Season and Hayden Fry's Sleek Mustang At SMU

My brother-in-law, Ervin Koehn of the Rose Haven Nursing Home in Marengo, turned 90 the other day, and he showed up at his birthday party wearing an appropriate T-shirt.

The message on the front said: "I'm out of bed and dressed; What more do you want?"

Obviously, Erv -- who is shown in the photo at the lower right with my son, Mark, and me -- still knows how to have fun.

There are plenty of other pictures from the party displayed above. The good-looking guy at the lower left is Gerhard "Gary" Hinrichs, an 85-year-old brother-in-law of Erv, and I'll get to him in a few seconds.

I always have a good time at Erv's birthday parties and the Koehn family reunion picnics that are held every July at Danny's home with the swimming pool in Cedar Rapids.

Those occasions are when I get a chance to talk sports with Todd, Craig, Kevin, Ross, Rick, Ed, Ken and the other guys, and gorge myself with the food prepared by Betty, Mary Jane, Diana and the other girls.

Todd had a cigar for me at a recent reunion picnic, and I was hoping he'd have one at Erv's 90th birthday party, but he didn't. Instead, Todd [an attorney] kept me busy talking about whether the NBA playoffs are fixed or not.

I told you about Gerhard "Gary" Hinrichs a bit earlier, so I'll get back to him now.

He was telling me he thinks he was an honorable mention selection on Jack North's 1942 Des Moines Sunday Register all-state basketball team.

Gary played for Guernsey High School in those days, and he was a 6-foot 1-inch, 160-pound guard.

"Were you a point guard or a shooting guard?" I asked him.

"Shooting guard," he said. "We didn't have point guards then."

Jack North picked the Register's all-state teams for many years, and he knew every good high school basketball and football player in Iowa.

Even though he's 85, Hinrichs still reports at 7 o'clock in the morning three days a week to work at a grocery store in Marengo. He stocks shelves in aisles 3 and 4.

When Craig York found me during Erv's birthday party, he wanted to talk about a couple of things.

A few years ago, I signed a copy of my book, "Tales from the Iowa Sidelines," for him.

Somewhere along the line, he loaned the book to a friend of his. After reading the book, he told Craig, "That's the best book about Iowa football I've ever seen." that he'd ever seen."

"Tell your friend thanks," I said.

"My friend also has a question for you," Craig said.

"What is it?" I asked.

"He said he wondered if [former Iowa football coach] Hayden Fry ever coached a team with the nickname of Mustangs," Craig said.

"He sure did," I answered. "Hayden coached the Southern Methodist University Mustangs [from 1962 through 1972], then he went to North Texas State in 1973, then to Iowa in 1979."

"Well, that might help answer my friend's question," Craig said. "He wonders if there's any truth to the story that Hayden got a new Ford Mustang when he was coaching the Mustangs."

"I'll ask Hayden the next time I see him," I told Craig.

Craig, his friend and I don't have to wait for the answer.

When I got home, I checked the book, "Hayden Fry--A High Porch Picnic." that was co-authored by Fry and George Wine, the former sports information director at Iowa.

In the book, Fry writes about SMU opening the 1963 season with a 27-16 loss at Michigan. Ironically, the Wolverines were then coached by Bump Elliott, who later was the athletic director at Iowa when Fry was hired there.

After SMU's loss at Michigan, Fry writes in the book, "I was talking to my team in our dressing room when one of my managers interrupted to say there were some men from the Ford Motor Company outside who wanted to see me. He said they were persistent. So I went through the door and met Lee Iacocca, Ford's CEO, and some of his aides. He said he had an important announcement for my football team and asked to come in.

"He climbed on top of a training table--he's a big man, so he really towered over the group--and told the team that Ford was about to introduce a new sports car that was small, sleek and fast, with great acceleration and maneuverability. He said that several names for the car were under consideration--among them Cougar, Bronco, Cheetah and Colt.

"But today, after watching the SMU Mustangs play with such flair, we reached a decision," he announced. "We will call the new car the Mustang. But it will be light, like your team. It will be quick, like your team. And it will be sporty, like your team." He said we shuold be proud that Ford had selected the SMU nickname.

"My players were proud and happy with Iacocca's decision. His announcement was a real mood elevator after after the loss to Michigan. It was a great tribute to the SMU players that of all the names he could have picked for the new sports car, he chose ours. When Ford began producing Mustangs, I received one of the first to come off the assembly line. And, of course, we had it painted in SMU colors--red, white and blue..."

So there's the answer for Craig York and his friend.

Pip Puts On a Show

I received an e-mail the other day from my good friend George Wine, who spent 25 years as the sports information director at the University of Iowa.

"Here are some photos I took of Barrie's horse Pip at a show at St. Charles IL," Wine wrote. "Mandy Johnson trains and shows the horse. They are a good team and do very well."

Barrie Anderson is Wine's wife. George [pictured at the right] and Barrie [pictured at the lower left with the caption "Job Well Done"] raised horses when they lived on a farm in rural Solon. They since have both retired from the University of Iowa and moved to Coralville.

I looked at the photos George sent, and asked him to go into some detail about them.

"These horse folks use language that is often foreign to me," he said, "but I'll give you something on Pip, the last foal that was born on our farm, and how he has trained and showed with Mandy Johnson.

"Pip is a 15-year-old Hanoverian gelding, bred by Barrie on the farm. Pip has been in dressage training with Amanda for six years. Amanda, a native of North Liberty and an engineering graduate of Iowa, now trains horses professionally in Wisconsin.

"Amanda has taken Pip from a 'very naughty' first-level horse to an elegant and professional Intermediate-2 level horse [next to the top level]. Last year they won first place in the American Hanoverian Society Intermediate I Musical Freestyle. They continue to move up the levels (as described below) and have been competing successfully in International level competitions for the past two years. They are a marvelous team!

"Pip's owner, Barrie, is an emeritus professor of medicine at the University of Iowa.

"Below is information from the website of the US Dressage Federation (www.usdf.org/about/about-dressage)."

About Dressage

Dressage is a French term meaning “training” and its purpose is to develop the horse’s natural athletic ability and willingness to work making him calm, supple and attentive to his rider.

If you are a history buff, you might be interested in reading more about the beginnings of dressage that date back to Xenophon in Greece and include a long line of riding masters, both from the military and the famous riding schools which developed during the Baroque era.

Currently, competitive dressage involves nine progressive levels incorporating multiple tests within each level. Special tests are also written for musical freestyle, sport horse breeding and performances incorporating multiple horses and riders. Tests are revised every four years by the United States Dressage Federation, the United States Equestrian Federation (USEF) and the International Equestrian Federation (FEI).

Competition occurs in a regulation size arena with specific apparel and equipment all regulated by USEF. Judges are licensed by the USEF and the FEI and are assisted by scribes who write down the judge’s scores and comments during the test.

Success in dressage is dependent on the rider’s position and ability but because of the goal of the training, many horse breeds can be quite successful.

Watching dressage can be very exciting, especially the musical freestyle rides or tests at the FEI (highest) levels.

Spectator's Guide

Like any sport, watching dressage is more interesting the more you know about it. Dressage tests used at shows are divided by graduated levels, from the most basic walk/trot to the Grand Prix test that is the same test that is used in the Olympics. The tests are divided into separate movements, and the judge gives a score for each movement. The score sheets are then totaled to determine class results. It will help you understand what is going on if you can get a copy of the test you are watching, plus here are some additional thoughts:

1. Less is More

In dressage, the less you see the rider do, the better, because that means he is communicating with his horse quietly and his horse is attentive -- they are working as a team.

2. Good Figures

Circles are round and lines are straight, a precept true in geometry and dressage. A 20-meter circle should go from one side of the arena to the other, a 10-meter circle only half way across. A horse should not weave on a straight-line movement.

3. Tempo and Rhythm

Rhythm is the repetition of footfalls. A sound dressage horse has only three correct rhythms – a four-beat walk, two-beat trot, three-beat canter. Tempo is the speed of repetition of strides. Every horse should have a consistent tempo throughout the test that is controlled by the rider, a tempo so obvious you could sing a song to it.

4. Naughtiness

Horses, like people, have good days and bad days and days when they are just feeling a little too good. Naughtiness in horses can be exhibited in bucking, rearing, tossing of the head, or even jumping out of the dressage ring.

5. Tension

During a test, the horse needs to remain calm, attentive and supple. If the horse gets tense, he gets rigid through his neck and back, which can exhibit itself in stiff movement, ears that are pinned back and a tail that swishes constantly and doesn’t hang arched and quietly swinging.

6. Rider Seat and Position

The rider should sit upright quietly and not be depend on his whip, spurs or voice to have a nice test. Riders who use their voice have points deducted off their test score for that movement.

Competition

Each horse competes individually at each level. Each level has several tests that involve variations of patterns of the same movements for that level. Tests involve movements based on the level of competency required by the horse and rider. Movements for each level are prerequisites for the next level. For example, if your horse cannot perform a 20 meter trot circle, as required in Training Level, he should not be ridden on a 10 meter circle, which is smaller and more difficult and which is required at the Second level.

Every test has an associated score sheet created with a series of boxes, where the judge assigns a score and often a comment for the movement performed. There are also four marks given at the end of each test called the Collective Marks: Gaits, Submission, Impulsion and Rider’s Seat and Position. Some of the test movements and all of the Collective Marks have coefficients associated with them which means they are worth two or more times the points assigned, the reason for this varies.

Each movement is scored on a scale of 0 (not performed) to 10 (excellent). Total points for the test are added up and noted as a percent to the total possible number of points for that test. A percentage of 65 percent or higher is generally thought to mean the horse is ready to move up a level.

The dressage tests performed at the Olympic Games are the highest level: Grand Prix.

Gaits and movements performed at this level include passage (a slow-motion, very elevated off the ground trot, pronounced like massage), and piaffe (the trot in place); one and two tempi changes at the canter where the horse appears to skip as it changes the leading leg in the canter, and canter pirouettes (a 360-degree circle, in place, at the canter).

For their freestyles, riders and horses perform specially choreographed patterns to music. At this level, the freestyle tests may contain all the Grand Prix movements, as well as double canter pirouettes, pirouettes in piaffe, and half-pass in passage. For the freestyle, judges award technical marks for the various movements, as well as artistic marks. In the case of a tie, the ride with the higher artistic marks wins.

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[Other photos, with captions by George Wine: Right, just above the photos of George, Barrie and Pip, extended trot across the diagonal; left, walking trot; above those photos: right, closeup, collected walk; left, nice collected center; top photos, right, Pip's fan club; left, Pip and Wendy approaching the show ring].

Cap Anson Was a Racist, For Sure--'On More Than One Occasion, He Would Refuse To Take the Baseball Field If a Black Player Was With the Opposing Team'

Mark Robinson of Iowa City checks in with this e-mail today:

"Hi, Ron,

"I really have enjoyed your recent posts. Here is something that, I think, is worth the read.

"I know you don't post links, but you might take a few things away from this [from Goatriders.org, Cubs 101]...

"True story -- I have a friend who, back in the 90s (when things were their roughest for us hapless Cub fans) used to take Cardinal fans for their money by making a simple bet.

"He would take their money by betting them that the Cubs had won more NL pennants. Any Cardinal fan with half a brain -- admittedly that's asking a lot of them -- would spring at that opportunity for 'easy money.' After all the Cubs went nearly 40 years without so much as reaching the playoffs, and in that span the Cardinals had won four World Championships and lost three more. The only problem is the stuff that happened before the turn of the 20th century - while the Cardinals were pissing around in the American Association, the 'White Stockings' were perennial contenders who'd finish first six times before they became the Colts in 1890.

"A lot of this had to do with player-manager Cap Anson [pictured at the right]. As a kid, my easiest point of reference was comparing him with Mark Grace [pictured at the left]. Both were first basemen. Both exhibited displays of leadership. Both racked up hits like crazy. But there were at least two major differences between the first baseman of my boyhood and the first baseman who built the first Cubs dynasty -- Cap Anson didn't burn out and lose his skills before he turned 40, and Mark Grace wasn't a cross-burning racist who was hugely responsible for keeping blacks out of baseball for more than half a century.

"Anson was a guy who did not keep his displeasure quiet when it came to African Americans. On more than one occasion he'd refuse to take the field if a black player was with the opposing team. Consequently the baseball owners elected not to allow African Americans into the sport by a vote of 6 to 4 and, karma being the ultimate bitch, Anson would eventually retire from baseball and lose all of his money on one poor business venture after another.

"...When [Anson] retired from the sport, he was recognized as having collected 3,000 hits. But intense record scrutiny has reduced that total to 2,995 throughout the years. Then again, the bastard died in 1922, so it's pretty unlikely that he cared.

"Anyway, Anson is a keen example of this dichotomy we experience as Cub fans. I want to feel proud that the Cubs had such a solid organization early on, and that Anson was a legendary player and manager. But he's also tainted because of his life of prejudice. (Then again, find me one star player who was a saint ... eh, besides Roberto Clemente.)

"Nevertheless, up until 2004 the Cardinals had 15 NL Pennants and the Cubs had 16. Unfortunately the Cardinals have since made two trips to the World Series, winning once, leaving the Cubs in their dust again. And in one final fitting example of how nothing is ever easy for Cubs fans, Chicago and St. Louis actually met each other in the second-ever played World Series ... and counting a Game Two forfeit, the Cubs won. Of course naturally the Cardinals claimed that Game Two didn't count, and they won Game Seven, so the teams split the bonus money.

"Such is the life of a Cubs fan. Up next, the first 'modern era' Cubs Dynasty."

Back to Mark Robinson...

"Anson, the son of the founder of Marshalltown, Henry Anson, was a racist, for sure. It is sad. A statue of Henry now resides on the courthouse square in Marshalltown.

"I attended a junior high school named after Henry. And, by the way, we defeated an Ames basketball team that eventually won the state championship as seniors. I scored 32 points in that game, and the guy who was assigned to shut me down was...Terry Carroll...76-70 in overtime.

"Take care, Ron."

Mark Robinson

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Outstanding performance in that junior high basketball game, Mark. You obviously learned early in life that shooting was an important part of the game. And thanks for the e-mail].

'Back In the Early 1950s, There Was a Group Of People Who Got Together On the West Side Of Des Moines, and They Had a Vision'

Jesus: King of kings and Lord of lords

“What Stones, as a Congregation, do We Need to Roll Out?”

Matthew 25:14-29

I would like for you to take a moment and pick a number. Just pick any number. You don't need to write it down or anything like that but, just so you're not cheating, go ahead and whisper it to the person next to you. Everyone have a number? Okay. Did anyone pick a number over a million? I wonder why not? Hold that thought for just one moment.

In 1998, two graduate students from Stanford University named Larry Page and Sergey Brin incorporated the Google search engine. In 2002, Fortune magazine's small business edition reported that on an average day there were 150 million searches on Google. Google is able to access over 2 billion pages of information in 74 different languages. I don't know about you but when I type in something and Google it, bang, it's there. It has searched all 2 billion pages and it's instantaneously there. Now can you explain to me how two graduate students at Stanford could come together in 1998 and come up with a search engine for the Internet that would become so dominant, so huge that really any other search engine on the Internet doesn't even compare to it?

Well, see, I don't have the technical savvy to explain to you how the search engine works nor do I have the business knowledge to know how they positioned themselves so they could be so successful, but I do know this. It all started with their vision. If you would ask these two gentleman to pick a number, any number, they wouldn't pick a number like 14, 99, or 200, or 500. When they decided to name their company, they decided to call it a mathematical term, Google. Google stands for a 1 with 100 zero's behind it. You see, it all started with a vision of what their company could be.

Now there's no way these two guys, Larry and Sergey, could have ever imagined what Google would turn into. In their wildest imagination, they couldn't come up with what would happen to their search engine. But they had the vision, and they fearlessly pursued that vision.

Back in the early 1950s, there was a group of people who got together on the west side of Des Moines and they had a vision. They had a vision for a congregation on the west side of the city of Des Moines. At that time there was no Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod church in the western part of Des Moines. A site was found; land was purchased, and in 1952 construction began. On November 11, 1953…with 47 communicant members and 38 children… a congregation was formed called Mt. Olive Lutheran Church. They didn't know what was going to happen to that congregation, certainly didn't know what God was going to do with that congregation, but they had a vision that there should be a congregation but the vision didn’t stop there.

In 1959, Mt. Olive Lutheran Church became known as Mt. Olive Lutheran Church and School with the start of a kindergarten class. The following year 1960, construction began on the school and in 1961 K-4 opened with 61 students enrolled. 1965 brought 5-6 grade. 1968 brought Little Lambs pre-school and in 1976 grades 7-8 were added to the education program. All of this branched from the vision that the gospel message of Jesus Christ needed to get out to the community, whether it was in the setting of a worship service or the setting of a child sitting at a desk, the gospel message needed to be proclaimed.

If you talk to some of the founding members, I am willing to say that they had no idea back then what Mt. Olive would come to be today. They had no idea about the size, no idea of the breadth of the ministry our congregation and school, no idea of how much of an impact we would have on the community and an impact we would have on people's lives. But it began with a vision, a vision of what God was calling them to do.

For the past few weeks, we have been focusing in on how to roll the stones out of our lives. Just as the women as they were walking to the tomb that first Easter morning were asking, “Who will roll the stone away?” We too have been asking ourselves, what stone needs to be rolled out of our lives. You see, just as the stones in front of the grave were blocking the women from believing in who Jesus is and following the vision he had for them, we too deal with stones, whether from our present or those from our painful past, that block us from having a deep, personal relationship with Jesus. For that is the vision God the Father has for each and every one of us from John 6…”The will of the Father is this…that everyone will look to the Son…” So personal does Jesus want this relationship to be that he states in John 14, “We, the Father and I, will make our home in your heart.”

And so, as we have asked what stones, we individually, need to roll out of our live, we also need to ask as a congregation, what stones do we need to roll out of our lives? Because if we don’t ask that question, if we don’t begin to work on identifying and rolling those stones out…it will become harder and harder for us to do God’s vision for this congregation. Our vision statement is built upon the acronym ACTION.

When we as a congregation came together two years ago to try to discern the vision God had for us, we came up with ACTION. Adore – worship; Contribute – Stewards; Teach – Educate; Interact – Work together; Outreach – proclaim the message; Nurture – provide a place to grow. But, if we don’t first work on rolling the stones out of our congregational life…there will be no ACTION.

But this much I know, as I’ve been here these last couple of months, asking questions, learning about what we do and why we don them, this much I can see: God has given us everything we need to roll away the stones that we may be dealing with as a congregation that may prevent the vision from becoming a reality. In fact, I guarantee you God has given us everything we need, because God doesn't call us to something unless He equips us to accomplish it. God doesn't ask anyone to do something, unless He enables that person to be able to do it. And that's just what God has done. God has given us more than what we need to roll away our stones and accomplish his vision.

Jesus Himself teaches us this important concept in the parable of the landowner.

• A landowner comes to his servants because he's going to go on a trip.
• Now this is a parable, so it's a story Jesus tells for a meaning. That means it represents something.
• The landowner is God Himself. And He entrusts His property, He entrusts what He values, what He owns to His servants.
• The servants bring nothing into this relationship. There is nothing the servant can contribute in this transaction. They simply work for the master. The master has all the supplies. The master has all of the blessings, all of the property, and He entrusts it to them.
• In other words, He trusts they're going to do what is right with what belongs to Him, that they're going to manage it well.

He gives five talents, then two talents, then one talent. You may be asking, “What's a talent? What's He really talking about here?”

• Jesus is trying to show what God gives us is of incredible value.
• A talent equals 6,000 denarii. An average person working an average day's work would earn 1 denarius. So 1 denarius is one day's worth of work. 6,000 denarii equals 1 talent.
• Convert that over into our economy, our dollars and cents, roughly, to the first man he gave a little over $2 million. To the second man, he gave a little over $3/4 of a million and, to the third man, a little less than $1/2 million.
• Jesus is saying here is that the landowner, God, has entrusted something of incredible value to his servants. He gave them all they needed and more to work with. He wanted them to use His property and to invest His property and to continue to earn from His property, to have a return from that, He gave them what they needed.
• He gave them, even the third servant, everything they needed and more to accomplish what He was asking them to do. And that's the point of the parable. The point of the parable is not the money. The point of the parable is He entrusts to them something of great value, and He gives them more than what they need to accomplish their mission. God has given us everything we need, more than we need to accomplish our vision of ACTION.

First and foremost, the greatest gift God has given us, the greatest resource He's bestowed upon us, the thing that is almost incomprehensible in value that He's entrusted to us is His forgiveness and grace. And frankly, we'd be lost without it.
• Grace by definition is God's love for us, but it's a love that's undeserved.
• It's not a love that somehow you can work your way up to and make yourself good enough so God loves you.
• It's not a love that somehow, once God loves you, well, you can kind of repay God back and, all of a sudden, become worthy in His sight. That's not it at all. Grace is a one-sided kind of love. It's not earned. It's not deserved.

We don’t deserve this love because we are not perfect. In fact, if we look down deep inside of ourselves, we know to the core of our being, we have fallen far short of what God expects of us. We lie, we cheat, we steal, we gossip. The list goes on and on of the things we have done. We fall far short of what God expects of us.
We as a congregation also have had our challenges. There have been things said to or about each other over the years that have not been helpful. There may be people that don’t even speak to each other because of it. There have been mistakes made, fears created, fingers pointed and when we look deep down through it all we realize that we as a congregation also have fallen short of what God expects of us. And these are very real stones that we as a congregation are dealing with and could prevent use from carrying out God’s vision for us.

But that’s not the end. Even though we don't live the way God wants us to live, even though as a congregation we fall short in how we handle each other and deal with each other, and, even though we know what God wants us to do but we do the opposite anyway, God still loves us.

In fact, He loves us to such a degree that God sent His Son to live among us. So Jesus came and, although He was God, He became a complete and full human being, just like us, with one exception. He's the perfect human being. Jesus was sinless. He followed the Father's will, the vision for his life completely, totally.
All so that God can do something that just blows your mind. He substitutes Jesus for us. He watches as His Son is nailed to a cross and He takes all of our sin and all we deserve from that sin and He lays it on Jesus. And He takes Jesus' righteousness and perfection and He lays it on us. So as Jesus hangs between heaven and hell, all of the sins of the world are put upon Him. The death you deserved and I deserved, He died. The hell you deserve and I deserve, He goes through. And the heaven, which is rightfully His, is waiting for us. That's grace. You can't put a price tag on that. You can't assign a value to that. We're lost without it. But that's what God's love is. Who’s the one that would roll the stone away on that first Easter morning? Jesus himself! He takes what was blocking us from having a relationship with God and rolls it right out of our lives. God has given us that great resource so we can roll those stones and accomplish the vision of grace.

Another resource God gives is each other. Would you think for a moment of the resources God has given us of the people of this congregation? Just for a moment, contemplate the people you know in this congregation. What skills, gifts, and talents do they bring to the table? I'm amazed at the wide array of skills and gifts and talents God has brought together in this place we call Mt. Olive Lutheran Church and School. We have everything here. We have lawyers, nurses, accountants, and teachers. We have construction workers and landscape artists. We have waiters and waitresses. We have everything. All the skills, all the gifts, all the talents that are necessary for us to fulfill that vision of grace, God has assembled in the people of this congregation.

And not only that but think about the spiritual gifts, the spiritual gifts God has laid upon each one of us. Some of us have the gift of leadership. Others have the gift of compassion. Some of us have the gift of empathy. Some of us have the gift of hospitality. The list goes on and on of all the spiritual gifts, and they're all here. They're all assembled in this congregation. God has given us all of the people resources we would ever need to move forward with his vision.

And if God indeed has given us the resources we need to removed those stones out of our lives and is calling us to work together toward his vision, there's one more thing he gives.

God also gives us the responsibility. God gives us the responsibility to use what He has given us to work in His kingdom. What happens when the landowner comes back? He calls for an accounting of His servants, does He not?

• The servants come in one by one and they are to give an accounting, “What have you done with the blessings I entrusted to you?” He expects they've used them and He expects a return for the work they've done.
• So the first servant comes in. He says, “Well, you gave me $2 million. Here, $4 million.”
• The other one comes in and says, “You gave me $3/4 million. Here we go, we have $1½ million your money has earned.” Now notice there's no distinction between those two servants. This is important. He doesn't say to the second servant, “Well, you know, the first guy came in with $4 mil. How come you didn't do the same?”
• That's not the point. The point is what we do with what we’ve been given.

But what about the third servant? The third servant comes in and He says, “I was fearful of who you are and so here you go. Exactly what you gave me, I'm giving it right back to you.” Can you imagine what this man did? He took $1/2 million, put it in a box, dug a hole in his back yard and buried it and he waited.

As a congregation, it’s easy for us to fall into that same trap to think that, “Well, we don’t have the money like Lutheran Church of Hope, we don’t have the man-power like Shepherd of the Valley, First Federated, or we are not in a position like Gloria Dei to grow.” It’s easy for us to just bury our resources and not use them because of the fear that we are not like others.

My friends, we cannot be the third servant. We cannot allow our ministry, our congregation to be the third servant. In other words, we can't just kick back and say, “You know we just don’t have things like those other churches”

We cannot say that “we’ve never done that before” or “Why move forward, we have a beautiful sanctuary. We have good facilities. We have a pretty good preacher.” Alright, well, maybe not. “We have a new principle coming and we have a wonderful devoted group of members. We are paying off our debt. Let's kick back and let's just see what happens.”

That's like taking $1/2 million and burying it in the back yard. That’s like allowing the stones of fear from mistakes from the past or the challenges of the present keep us from using God’s resources to the best of our ability. That would simply be irresponsible. We cannot be the third servant.

Did you notice what happened to the two servants? His master replied to them after they came back with their return. He says, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You've been faithful with a few things. I'll put you in charge of many things.” You've been faithful with a few things so even more blessings are going to be showered upon you.

Look at the history of Mt. Olive Lutheran Church and School. As Mt. Olive has been faithful with God's blessings, as Mt. Olive has stepped out in faith and advanced the ministry, God just pours down more blessings. And God just opens up more doors. And He just keeps pouring them down. And I believe in the future, as we allow God to roll our stones away and as we go towards that vision of ACTION using all the things God has made available to us, God is going to bless us even more. God is going to give us even more responsibility so we can use and manage all of His gifts to the advancement of His kingdom.

It's God’s vision for us. You see, God doesn't think in numbers of 14 or 98 or 200.

. God thinks in terms of Google. He thinks in terms of 1 with 100 zeros behind it. And if God is calling us to the vision of ACTION, and I believe He is, then let us roll the stones out our life as a congregation and move forward together with that vision. And to do so, I encourage all of you to take a stone, whether it’s the one you brought or one out of the basket in the gathering area and as you walk out the front door of the church place it to the left in the corner of the flower bed. Those stones will be used in the new prayer garden and will serve as a motivation for us, an inspiration for us. And by God's grace, we will accomplish God’s vision in ACTION.

Amen.

A sermon by Rev. Kendall L. Meyer
Senior Pastor
Mt. Olive Lutheran Church and School
5625 Franklin Ave.
Des Moines, IA 50310-1031

*

May 24, 2009

Drake Announcer Scott Pierce Says His 11-Year-Old 'Does More Homework' Than Missouri Valley/St. Louis Cardinals TV Broadcaster Dan McLaughlin

Scott Pierce, Drake's football and women's basketball radio play-by-play announcer, takes my mention of St. Louis Cardinals TV announcer Dan McLaughlin one step further.

I wrote yesterday that I heard McLaughlin and commentator Al Hrabosky talking about the possibility of the Cardinals obtaining former Chicago Cubs utilityman Mark DeRosa, who now is with Cleveland and is on the trading block.

Here's Pierce's e-mail on the subject:

"Don't take Dan McLaughlin's comments with a grain of salt so fast. Based on Dan's game prep [i.e. going to Tony LaRussa and asking him, 'What do you want me to talk about tonight?'], there may be some substance to DeRosa trade talks. I've seen Dan [pictured at the left] prep Valley women's basketball games. Oh, boy. My 11-year old does more homework.

"[The pic [at the right] is my 11-year old with Glen Norman's little girl. Glen used to do Drake football and basketball and worked at KGGO. He's my best friend in the world].

"However, I find it hard to believe the current Cardinal GM can pull off such a trade. Based on his abilities to plug holes over the past 18 months (yes, that's sarcasm), I just don't think he has the ability to do this. Walt Jocketty could pull it off. Not this guy.

"I wonder if I write a Letter To The Editor, if anybody on Locust Street would know what that is?"

Scott Pierce

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: McLaughlin, the guy who couldn't get it straight that Mac McCausland of Waterloo/Cedar Falls wasn't a former Iowa basketball standout, sounds like the classic home team "houseman." By the time McLaughlin and Hrabosky, the goofy former Cardinals relief pitcher who is the St. Louis TV commentator, finish a syrupy on-air conversation, most listeners [with the exception of me] are ready to buy season tickets to St. Louis games. Maybe McLaughlin thinks the Cardinals players are listening to him in the clubhouse. I doubt manager Tony LaRussa listens to radio broadcasts or watches TV during games, but it wouldn't be the first time it happened. I recall several years ago when some Chicago Cubs players challenged Steve Stone, then a Cub TV commentator, for some of the things he said during games. Maybe that's why the Cubs can't ever win--they watch too much TV. Good hearing from you, Scott, and let me know how you do on that Letter To The Editor. You don't need to let me know if you write a Tweet To The Editor!]

*

I guess it's official.

The Des Moines Register is serious -- well, if serious is the proper word for this -- is planning to print Tweets To The Editor.

It's official because editor Carolyn Washburn wrote it on her Twitter site:

RT @DMRegister: We plan to feature Tweets to the Editor in print along with Letters to the Editor. To submit, use the tag #TweetTheReg

Like I wrote earlier, I can't wait.

And, as I added, maybe I can wait.

I'm sure Scott Pierce can wait.

Bob Spiegel, Who Was a 19-Year Des Moines Tribune Reporter and Author Of 5 Books On Drake Athletics, Believed In 'Hard-Hitting Journalism'

Bob Spiegel was a "crackerjack reporter" who believed in "hard-hitting journalism."

He also was a "tall, bright man with a huge smile and bad knees."

So writes Patricia Simms in the Wisconsin State Journal in Madison.

Simms wrote Spiegel's obituary in her newspaper, where Spiegel was the editor for 12 years.

Spiegel, 87, died Monday at his home in Fernandina Beach, Fla. "near his favorite chair."

Spiegel also spent 19 years as a reporter at the old Des Moines Tribune, where people who remember him say he was the afternoon newspaper's "stud reporter," and later was the editor of the Mason City Globe-Gazette.

As I wrote earlier this week, he was a longtime fan of Drake athletics, and was known as a Drake Relays historian.

Spiegel, a Drake graduate, wrote five books on the world-famous track and field meet, and authored another book about Drake's 1968-69 Final Four basketball team.

Simms said memorial services for Spiegel will be held in Madison, Mason City, Des Moines and Amelia Island, Fla.

Spiegel is survived by three sons and five grandchildren. He had been retired barely three years when his wife was killed in a car accident in 1989.

A man who knew Spiegel said the accident "happened in Minnesota on Interstate 35 in the winter when Bob lost control of the car on ice and it slid in front of a truck after going through the median."

Spiegel played basketball at West High School in Waterloo for well-known coach Shrimp Strowbridge.

Here's the obituary on Spiegel in the Wisconsin State Journal that Patricia Simms wrote:

Robert Spiegel, who brought his reputation as a crackerjack reporter to bear on his dozen years as editor of the Wisconsin State Journal, died at his home near his favorite chair in Fernandina Beach, Fla., on Monday. He was 87.

A tall, bright man with a huge smile and bad knees, Spiegel was editor of the State Journal for 12 years before retiring in 1986.

A devotee of hard-hitting journalism, Spiegel continued to write after his retirement first to Hilton Head, S.C., then to Amelia Island, Fla. He crafted stories about the military bases in the Southeast for the Chicago Tribune until the time of his death.

“Bob brought a passion and vigor to journalism at the State Journal that began with his love of strong reporting,” Tom Still, president of the Wisconsin Technology Council and former associate editor of the State Journal, said Friday. “He made sure the reporters had the tools and support they needed to do the best job they could.”

In 1943, Spiegel graduated from Drake University in Des Moines, and remained an ardent historian of Drake athletics, writing four books on the history of the Drake Relays.

He learned Japanese in the U.S. Army during World War II and met his future wife, Dorothy Kerr, in Washington, D.C. She was a WAVE in the U.S. Navy and the daughter of his Japanese teacher.

He was a reporter for the Des Moines Tribune for 19 years following his military service. He received the Sidney Hillman Foundation award in 1956 for his series on segregated housing, interviewed President Harry Truman and followed the career of Mike Mansfield as majority leader of the U.S. Senate. He once faced down labor leader Jimmy Hoffa and two bodyguards in a hotel room to justify stories critical of Hoffa.

He was editor of the Mason City (Iowa) Globe-Gazette for more than a decade before coming to Madison in 1974.

Spiegel came away from a visit to the Research Triangle in North Carolina believing Madison had similar assets. He started working with leaders from the University of Wisconsin and the Madison community to attract biotechnology firms and was integral to the creation of University Research Park.

Active in his church, Spiegel loved his family and raved about his three sons. He had been retired barely three years when his wife was killed in a car accident in 1989. He is survived by his sons and five grandchildren.

The family is planning memorial services in Madison, Mason City, Des Moines and Amelia Island, Fla.

Cleveland Trading DeRosa To the Cardinals Would Be the Latest Blow To Cub Fans, Who Are Still Trying To Figure Out Why Their Team Can't Hit the Ball

This might be the last straw.

The St. Louis Cardinals dealing for Mark DeRosa, I mean.

DeRosa, you'll recall is the former do-everything player for the Chicago Cubs.

An insane Jim Hendry [he's the Cubs' general manager] traded DeRosa [pictured at the left] to the Cleveland Indians in the off-season for a couple of minor league garbage-bin pitchers.

Anyway, I was watching the Cubs' latest exercise in futility last night against St. Louis on the Cardinals' TV network.

I heard Al Hrabosky [speaking of insanity] and Dan McLaughlin, the announcers, talk about how they'd like to see the versatile DeRosa playing for the Cardinals.

Now, wouldn't that be a kick in the head!

DeRosa -- who definitely is on the trading block -- coming back to the National League and playing for the Cubs' biggest rivals would be a very bad thing.

DeRosa is hitting only .253 and has six home runs, but I'm sure his average would jump to 353 and and he'd become a homer machine once he got to St. Louis.

Obviously, he'd like to stick it to the Cubs every chance he gets. He can play any infield or outfield position, and would likely become the Cardinals' starting third baseman immediately.

The only thing that might hold up a DeRosa-to-the-Cardinals deal is the player's $5.5million salary.

St. Louis likes to pay its players the minimum wage, which is in the $6-an-hour neighborhood.

So we'll see what happens.

*

By the way, the fact that Dan McLaughlin says there could be a chance for a Mark DeRosa-to-St. Louis deal actually means very little.

McLaughlin's accuracy was tested during the winter when he announced Missouri Valley Conference basketball games with Mac McCausland of Waterloo/Cedar Falls.

McLaughlin continually referred to McCausland as "a star on basketball teams at Iowa."

Hey, McCausland was barely on the team at Iowa. He never earned a letter.

So take anything McLaughlin says with a grain of salt.

*

I posted this message on Twitter: "$140 million doesn't buy as much as it used to--and the horrible Cubs are proof of it."

*

Mike Fontenot of the Cubs is in a 2-for-39 funk for the Cubs. Manager Lou Piniella [pictured at the right with a friend] thinks he might bench him. Fontenot should've been benched two weeks ago. Actually, I think both Fontenot and Piniella should be benched.

*

What I can't figure out is how nearly a half-dozen Cubs can be in batting slumps at the same time.

Milton Bradley, the three-year, $30 million bust, is hitting .184; Fontenot is hitting .195, Geovany Soto [last season's rookie of the year] is hitting .206, Derrek Lee is hitting .239 and Alfonso Soriano is hitting .265.

Where's Abner Doubleday. I need an explanation.

*

I joked yesterday about if, and how, the Register was going to handle news of the death of 87-year-old Bob Spiegel, who worked 19 years for the old Des Moines Tribune before going on to greener pastures.

I said sports editor Bryce Miller and his gang would swing into action the minute they read on the right side of my page that Spiegel had died early this week.

It turned out that the words "swing into action" were much too strong. People at the paper wound up rewriting Drake sports information director Mike Mahon's news release on Spiegel's death.

All they used were three paragraphs. Indeed, someone there should have called people at Drake and people who worked with Spiegel at the Tribune [one or two might still be living] to do a decemt obituary on a guy who was a heavy hitter in the news and sports fields.

After all, Spiegel wrote five books on Drake track and basketball, and attended a whopping 64 Drake Relays.

Oh, well.

Maybe there'll be more in the hard-hitting "In the Loop" on Sunday. Or possibly when "Tweets to the Editor" -- whenever that starts.

I can't wait.

*

A guy who visits the sportswriters' lunch occasionally sent me this e-mail:

"That was quite a number you did on Washburn. The Register has indeed gone to pot. Pots are used in cookbooks, right?

"Last week more than 12,000 people at Notre Dame hailed Obama with applause, cheers and standing ovations. The next morning's Page One in The Register featured a picture of 39 protestors. Way to go, Washburn."

The guy closed by asking what a certain regular at the sportswriters' lunches was pissed off about lately.

"Everything," I told him.

*

The reference to "Washburn" by my e-mail friend concerned not so much Perry Washburn, but more the missus.

The missus is Carolyn Washburn, the Register's editor.

Perry has a new pizza cookbook on the market, and I figure I've helped him sell a ton of books by giving him all this pub in my columns.

I also heard from Craig Maltby, who wrote to me on Twitter: "I had one of Perry Washburn's pizzas at his house a while back. BBQ chicken and carmelzed onions, if I recall. Outstanding fare."

Sounds great, Craig. I expect to be invited to the house any day now.

*

Tim Griffin of ESPN.com writes, "Even in the face of a struggling economy, the Big 12 Conference's economics are showing robust growth. Big 12 officials say the conference will distribute a record $130 million among its member schools from the 2008-09 fiscal year.

[EDITOR'S NOTE, the editor being Ron Maly: This is especially good news for Iowa State].

"The figure, announced on the final day of the Big 12's annual spring meetings in Colorado Springs, is more than 14.5 percent better than last year's previous record disbursement of $113.5 million."

Good for the Big 12.

Griffin also wrote that the league continues to look for other ways to save money:

"future Big 12 meetings could be conducted through the use of video conferencing to help defray costs. Among [other] areas that were mentioned for possible cost savings include the elimination of non-traditional playing seasons in sports such as baseball and volleyball; ceasing foreign travel for teams and all-star squads; doing away with regional track and field championships; and the elimination of printed media guides."

I see no further need for preseason get-togethers of football and basketball coaches, players, sportswriters and sportscasters in such places as Houston, Oklahoma City, Dallas and Kansas City.

All that can be done with teleconferencing. That would enable a Register reporter to sit in his office at 8th & Locust and get all the interviews he [or she] needs.

That way, maybe the laying off of the writer can be delayed by a month or so.

That's a good idea on press guides, too. They've become basically recruiting tools anyway in recent years.

Hey, Maybe You're Ready for This and Maybe You're Not [Frankly, I Doubt That I Am]. The Register Is Now Planning To Publish 'Tweets To the Editor'

Heaven help us.

The Des Moines Register made this announcement on Twitter today: "We plan to feature Tweets to the Editor in print along with Letters to the Editor. To submit, just use the tag #TweetTheReg.

Man, I can't wait for that.

Well, maybe I can.

Obviously, they'll try anything, and everything, to get your attention these days down there at 8th & Locust.

Maybe they can run those Tweets in the Monday morning paper, which is a pretty sad-sack publication now that there's no one-page business section and Work Bytes no longer appears.

This Is Going To Be An Interesting Summer, Knowing That One Pastor Friend Of Mine Is a Cardinals Fan and Another Wants the Milwaukee Brewers To Win

I figured I'd get some feedback after writing something yesterday about Rev. Kendall Meyer of Mt. Olive Lutheran Church, a lifetime St. Louis Cardinals fan.

Minutes afterward, I heard from Rev. David Mumm, a former Mt. Olive pastor who now is at a church in Illinois.

In an e-mail titled, "Give Credit Where Credit Is Due," Rev. Mumm [pictured at the left] writes about the Milwaukee Brewers -- who are in first place, ahead of both St. Louis and the Chicago Cubs, in the National League Central:

Hi, Ron,

"I just read your note about the Cardinals/Cubs game the night before last. I wish you [and a lot of other sports writers] would give credit where credit is due.

"Who was it that handled the Cardinals three games in a row this past weekend, after defeating Florida three games in a row, and then beat Houston in the first of their three game series? Who is the team that lost their leadoff hitter during that stretch (Ricky Weeks -- nine home runs on the season) and didn't get down on themselves, but kept on winning, and has a seven-game winning streak going? Which team is it that is sitting in first place in the National League Central, three games ahead of the Cardinals, and has a 25-14 record, after starting the season 4-8? The rarely mentioned on ESPN, and even more rarely seen on TV, Milwaukee Brewers. I know, it's early in the season, but this playoff team from last year, which is one of the youngest teams in baseball, is certainly due some credit for their great play so far this 2009 season.

"Attached is a picture of my properly-hatted grandson, Nate and Erin's son, Sean. You may use the picture if you wish. I'm sure Nate and Erin would not mind."

Pastor Mumm

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: I mentioned to Rev. Mumm that I, indeed, regard the Brewers as the best team in the National League Central and one of the best in baseball. The Texas Rangers certainly can't be for real, can they? I like Milwaukee's roster, and I've liked it the past couple of seasons. The Brewers came up just short to the Cubs in the regular season, but got into the playoffs as the wild-card team and actually won a game in 2008. Winning a game in the playoffs was something the Cubs couldn't do either last season or the year before. As I wrote yesterday, the Cubs are showing signs of being dead. You'd never guess Derrek Lee, Geovany Soto, Milton Bradley and Mike Fontenot know anything about hitting the way they've played this season. I joked on Twitter that maybe it's time the Cubs fired the hitting coach because that's what teams often do when the bats fall silent. It's a lot easier to dismiss the batting instructor than to can the entire lineup of million-dollar players. And if firing the batting coach doesn't work, then you're supposed to fire the manager, preferably at either Memorial Day or July 4. I doubt the Cubs will fire Lou Piniella, but he's not helping matters. He's supposed to know something about hitting, but all he does is say, "We've got to get better" when Chicago reporters talk to him about it. It's a sorry situation. It would be easy to be a Milwaukee fan these days [even though I probably won't do so] because it's a team made up of a lot of young, unnoticed players. St. Louis reporters don't like it when the Brewers pull their shirts out of their pants following a victory over the Cardinals [signifying that they're guys who have just finished their jobs]. But Milwaukee keeps beating the Cardinals, so you can figure the Brewers will continue pulling their shirts out. I look forward to the rest of the season. Let's hope the Cubs have enough money left to buy a hitter or two for the second half of the schedule. Rev. Mumm, I can see why your grandson [pictured at the right] is a Brewers fan. I hope both he and you have a great summer].

It's Difficult for Me To Believe That It's Only May, and Already There Are 2 Dead Baseball Teams Playing Against Each Other This Week In St. Louis

It's not unusual to find one dead baseball team in May.

After all, the Cleveland Indians have been playing all spring.

But it's a bit strange to find two dead teams in the same stadium after just six weeks of the season.

That's exactly what we saw last night at Busch Stadium in St. Louis.

It looked like a game between two teams that really didn't want to play.

Or, actually, couldn't play.

At least St. Louis had Joel Pineiro, who pitched a three-hitter.

The Cubs made him look like Cy Young.

Chicago had Ted Lilly, who gave up only four hits.

Trouble was, the Cubs could still be playing this morning and wouldn't have a run.

*

The best thing about the game was that it lasted only 2 hours 5 minutes.

I think the Cubs might've had something else scheduled, and didn't want to be late.

That allowed me and other TV viewers to get over to the important stuff -- Shawn Johnson and What's-His-Name winning the dancing show.

*

By the way, that could have been a 5-minute dancing show.

ABC bled that thing for 3 hours with old videotape.

That show went on for so long in this TV season that I think some of the dancers are already on Social Security.

*

Dan Johnson must have been tied up with a big horseracing story at the paper.

That's no doubt why his bosses didn't assign him to drive to California to cover the dancing finals.

The paper handled the story the new [and less-expensive] way -- by having the Associated Press cover it.

The sports department, of course, is doing things a little differently with some big stories these days -- having a reporter watch the event on TV, then putting a byline on a story written in the office or at home

I'm wondering if that's how those guys will cover Iowa football in the fall.

*

I'm sure this will be a much better Hawkeye basketball team when the boys get back from their trip to Italy and Greece. I'm not sure why I'm sure. I'm just sure.

*

I talked briefly to Rev. Kendall Meyer of Mt. Olive Lutheran Church yesterday about the Cardinals.

He's been a Cardinals fan for a long time.

Well, that's all right. My brother was a Cardinals fan, too, and we got through it.

I was kidding Rev. Meyer about the St. Louis manager Tony LaRussa hurrying Chris Carpenter back into the rotation tonight even though it may be too early for him to be coming off the disabled list.

[Just to indicate that two men who like different baseball teams can laugh about it, check the photo at the left].

"I just think Tony wants to get three quick wins in this series," Rev. Meyer told me.

He's probably right.

Like I said, the Cubs look like a dead team.

And manager Lou Piniella doesn't exactly look alive whenever the TV cameras show him in the dugout.

*

Typical of the Cubs' problems is Mike Fontenot, who is filling in [very poorly] for the injured Aramis Ramirez at third base.

Piniella has to use Fontenot there because he has no one else.

With a $140 million payroll, there's no one else who can play third.

Remember Mark DeRosa? The Cubs traded him to Cleveland in the off-season.

Dumb Cubs.

Anyway, Fontenot is hitting a robust .207 -- an awful average for a third baseman.

He went through periods when he was 0-for-18 and 1-for-29.

The only place Fontenot could suit up and legitimately be classified as an everyday player would be in a 9 p.m. slow-pitch softball league at Walker Johnston Park in Urbandale.

*

Speaking of guys who ought to be in slow-pitch softball, I see relief pitcher Kerry Wood is still blowing saves.

The good thing is that it's now for Cleveland, not the Cubs.

*

I'm really excited about Michael Vick getting out of prison.

*

It took only 25 bullets to take down Adam Harvell.

That'll kill a guy every time.

I might've fired 25 myself.

*

It was good to see a story in the paper on Sharm Scheuerman.

Too bad there wasn't a more up-to-date picture of Scheuerman than those taken a half-century ago.

Don't let editors of the paper fool you -- all of those three photos of Sharm on pages 1C and 3C are way, way out of date. Shame on the paper.

I mentioned the other day that Sharm -- a former Hawkeye basketball player and coach -- had been in town. He called to see if I wanted to have coffee, and we did at Village Inn in West Des Moines.

Sharm [shown the way he looks now in the photo I took at Village Inn] continues his battle against cancer, and I sure hope he wins it.

*

Typical baseball mentality: Jake Fox leads all of professional baseball with a .431 batting average, and has 17 home runs and 50 runs-batted-in for No-Name Team in Des Moines.

Yet, the weak-hitting Chicago Cubs can't find a place for him.

I think they should make him a player-manager like Lou Boudreau was many years ago.

Bo, Brooksie, The 'Z', Mark, Mother Podolak's Chili, a Panic Situation With Tony LaRussa, Plus the 6th-Grade Track Meet To Which I'm Headed

Bo from Iowa City e-mailed me with some nice comments Mike Hlas of the Cedar Rapids [and Iowa City] Gazette made about Bob Brooks.

Brooksie is the longtime Cedar Rapids sports broadcaster who is still running around eastern Iowa with his tape recorder and press credentials.

More power to Brooksie [pictured at the right, talking with Eddie Podolak in the Kinnick Stadium press box]. The guy loves his job, and the people he covers think a lot of him.

*

"It's supposed to be 80 today --- DON'T go fishing!" Bo wrote to me.

"Actually, I'm going to my grandson's 6th-grade track meet," I responded. "That'll be about all the excitement I can stand on an 80-degree day. Have a good one."

*

Speaking of veteran broadcasters, I heard from Mark Robinson of Iowa City.

He had Jim Zabel [pictured at the left], who's even older than Brooksie, on his mind.

Here's Robinson's e-mail:

Hello, Ron;

"You've mentioned a few cookbooks on your site in recent days. Those articles reminded me of Mother Podolak's Chili, which was broadcast far and wide by WHO radio about 20 years ago.

"I never managed to get my hands on that stuff, probably because I lived in places such as Tulsa and Dallas. Jim Zabel (get well, 'Z') pimped it as only Jim could. He made it sound like it was a lifesaving elixer.

"I am bothered by the fact that 87-year-old Jim Zabel, having survived pneumonia over the last several months, does not have a tribute site.

"I'm putting it up in the next few weeks. Audio going back to Chuck Long will be featured. And, if I can get it digitized, the entire Iowa/Texas Freedom Bowl game.

"Keep writing,"

Mark Robinson
Iowa City

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Good idea, Mark. Keep me posted on the 'Z' tribute site. As for Mother Podolak's chili, which was cranked out by Eddie's mother, it was some very tasty stuff--and I'm sure Hayden Fry fed it to his players at their pregame meals in places like Columbus, Ann Arbor and Iowa City. Great hearing from you, Mark].

*

Throughout my writing years, I've used the word panic a lot.

For the benefit of today's essay, I looked up the word in my dictionary, and the first option says panic is "a sudden, overpowering terror, often affecting many people at once."

I guess that's the way I'd describe what's happening in St. Louis these days.

With the baseball Cardinals, I mean.

You know what's happening.

The Cardinals have the world's greatest manager. If you don't believe that comment, just ask the guy.

Tony LaRussa will tell you.

He's got everyone in St. Louis, even in East St. Louis, convinced he knows more about the game than anyone else.

But Tony's ballclub isn't playing well these days. The Cardinals just got swept by Milwaukee in their own park. Gee, Brewers fans -- all five of them -- didn't know they could have brought brooms to Busch Stadium.

Starting tonight, the Cardinals play the hated Chicago Cubs.

I say hated because that's how I think Tony LaRussa feels about the Cubs.

And Tony, I think, is in a state of panic.

He's activating pitcher Chris Carpenter Wednesday for the second game of the series.

Remember what the definition said -- "sudden, overpowering terror."

It's still just May, but Tony feels the season slipping away from him. And the last team he wants it to slip away in front of is the Cubs.

Carpenter will be a pitch limit of 75 to 80 against the Cubs.

Tony needs the guy to make something good happen. Me? I hope the Cubs go on a rampage against him.

*

I'm off to the track meet. Have a great day, everyone. I know I will.

Shawn Has Taken the Fixed 'Dancing' As Far As It Needs To Go, So Now ABC's Big Bosses Can Give the Title To Gilles Marini & Friend, and Call It a Wrap

I think you know by now that I'm breathlessly awaiting this week's final couple of nights of "Dancing With the Stars."

Of course, I'm fully aware the championship has already been decided.

And only the big bosses at ABC-TV know the winners.

I've been saying for weeks that "Dancing" is fixed, just like all those other TV shows are fixed that show people being, sometimes dramatically, voted off.

All those votes you keep sending in don't mean a thing. I'll bet the network doesn't even count 'em.

Shawn Johnson, Our Own Little Princess, and What's-His-Name, her partner [shown in the photo at the right], have taken the ABC-TV show as far as it needs to go in this celebrity-struck, TV-ratings conscious society.

I'm absolutely certain that everybody from truck drivers in Delaware to outfielders and third basemen in the Cubs-Cardinals baseball series in St. Louis will stop doing whatever it is they're doing to watch Shawn, Melissa and the gang Tuesday night.

The way I look at it, Gilles Marini and his partner [I guess her name is Cheryl Burke] are going to win this thing, and Shawn and her partner [is Mark Ballas his name?] are going to be the very, very close runnersup.

We'll see.

*

All I know is, I hope Our Little Shawn puts on a tremendous show as all this drama winds down.

I wouldn't want the rankings to depend on what her male partner does.

After all, I've got some ideas about male dancers, which haven't changed for more than 70 years. But that's a column for another day.

*

I also wonder about a couple of the judges on "Dancing With the Stars" -- neither of whom is named Carrie Ann Inaba.

*

People keep telling me that Our Little Shawn isn't so little anymore.

I've even heard it at the sportswriters' lunch.

They think she's put on a pound or several since she was flying through the air in the Olympics gymnastics competition.

No one has bothered [or had the gumption] to ask Shawn or her "people" [notice I didn't say "handlers"] in the interviews I've seen, but I guess I think she probably doesn't fit into the clothes she wore a year ago.

I try to not make a habit of looking to see if a 17-year-old girl is putting on weight, but I guess Shawn's [pardon the expression] thighs look a bit wider to me, and her belly isn't exactly flat.

But, hey, what do you expect? The girl is only as high as a thumbtack.

Every meal is an anemy.

And, what the heck, she's not even old enough yet to drink the beer that all other Valley High School students drink.

Legally anyway.

When that happens, she'll really have to be careful.

But, of course, down the road, she'll be able to make a lot of money being the spokeswoman for Jenny Craig, just like all the other girls who start getting plump.

*

Speaking of food, a guy asked me if Perry Washburn has thanked me for what I wrote about his new pizza cookbook.

"Not yet," I said, "but I know my column about him has probably been responsible for selling a ton of his "Pizza Night With Perry" books.

"I'm fairly certain Perry and the missus will be inviting me out to the house for lunch any day now."

*

I see my good friend Marc Hansen got talked into appearing on somebody's radio show yesterday, and he wrote that the guy poked fun at his columns.

What an asshole.

I should have told Marc to be careful with something like that.

Those radio guys like to do that kind of stuff. Get the best-read local columnist behind a microphone and laugh at him.

I once heard that the first thing a new radio announcer [when people still listened to the radio] or a new TV anchor would like to do is take on the No. 1 newspaper columnist in a city so the radio or TV guy could get big ratings right away.

They knew that the public would always like the TV or radio guy better than the newspaper guy [or girl].

For the paper's sake, it's a good thing that radio guy yesterday didn't invite Rekha Basu on the show.

If Basu had agreed to be a guest, the guy really would've had something to make fun of.

*

The next time somebody invites Hansen onto a radio show, I hope he's there to talk about a cookbook he's written. People always like to hear that about newspeople have written a cookbook. Remember when Jim Zabel was selling a cookbook?

*

One more thing about Scott Pierce wondering why the paper doesn't use what's written in the best blogs written by the sports reporters and columnist in the paper.

I'll do 'em a favor one of these days and put together a "Best Of the Blogs" that could -- and should -- be used instead of the boss's hard-hitting "In the Loop" on page 2 of the Sunday paper.

*

I tried to find a business section in today's paper, but couldn't. Not even one page. Man, do miss Work Bytes.

*

Speaking of the business section, I think there'll be one Tuesday. That's when Biz Buzz appears. This is a memo to the Biz Buzz team: Don't forget to run an item on Perry Washburn's cookbook. Remember, he's the boss's wife.

*

I see that Jon Gruden, who doesn't have a coaching job, is replacing Tony Kornheiser on Monday Night Football. That's about as significant as Jim Walden , who hasn't had a coaching job for 15 years, replacing Dale Williams, who died a while back.

Scott Pierce, Who Doesn't Buy the Register Anymore, Wonders Why Rick Brown's Blog About Wayman Tisdale Appeared Online and Not In Print

One thing about being in the newspaper, TV and radio businesses, of course, is that the older you get, the more you've seen -- and the more you don't want to see.

I suppose the same thing could be said about being in the used car business or the fertilizer-selling business.

It's just seems, though, that the situations and the people [at least some of them] in the newspaper, TV and radio industries are a little goofier than the guys and girls selling Scott's Plus 2 in the Walmart garden department.

Scott Pierce [pictured on the job at the right] has been around the block a time or two. He's got a day job, and he's also the play-by-play announcer for Drake football and women's basketball. Obviously, he knows the media business very well after all these years.

He has some thoughts today in this e-mail to me:

Ron:

"I haven't picked up The Locust Street Liar in many months now. Paying more for less quality is not in my DNA. I still haven't figured out how an industry can charge more for its content and advertising when circulation drops. In my old radio days, we couldn't do that.

"I do read it online. That takes about 2 minutes. However, I did click on Rick Brown's blog with comments from Johnny Orr about the death of Wayman Tisdale. It was good stuff. Orr is never a bad interview. And I think Rick is a top-notch writer.

"So, here's the question. If Rick Brown is a sports writer....and if Johnny Orr is a sports personality connected to the area Rick Brown writes for....and Johnny Orr says something funny and interesting to Rick Brown about a topic that people in said area would be interested in....why does that appear on a website and not in the paper?

"The last time I paid 50 cents for the paper, it said at the top 'The Newspaper Iowa Depends On' (boy, did I set you up on the bold comment section below). Not the website Iowa depends on. Am I nuts? Geez, I've got to stop setting you up on that comment section below.

"One more thing regarding the changing landscape with sports radio here. My last post to you drew a heated response to me personally from Joel McCrea, the GM of Clear Channel here, accusing me of jumping to conclusions. Since his bosses at Clear Channel arrived two days later at the same conclusions I did, I guess I didn't jump that far.

"In addition, I questioned why Clear Channel local management, some 72 hours after the fact, had not at least apologized to the listeners for the infamous incident. Their apology came within a few hours of your post. I was told one of the management officials
was in Mexico that weekend. I guess the 'world wide' part of the web doesn't go there.

"I did take note of the "nationwide" search they were conducting for Larry Cotlar's, Geoff Conn's, and Marty Tirrell's replacements. I guess the nation got a bit smaller. Because the search took them down the hall to the WHO studios for one replacement, down a couple of blocks to Grand Avenue for another, and to Omaha for an out-of-work person (that took a month to land). Sounds like the recruiting budget of a Division III school.

"I have not listened to any of the new shows, yet. I will someday, with the exception of Murphy & Fales. Andy Fales did an ambush piece on The Jock a number of years ago. He called me wanting to do a story about the changing landscape of sports radio in Des Moines. But when he arrived, he peppered me with questions about KXNO beating us in the latest ratings book. He never did a follow-up when we beat them back a few ratings books later."

Scott Pierce

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Thanks for writing, Scott. I always enjoy your observations. It's just a wild guess, but I'll bet you're referring to the Des Moines Register when you write about the Locust Street Liar. Correct me if I'm wrong. I, too, am mystified that the Register doesn't display in the newspaper something good that one of its writers puts in a blog on the paper's website. I think it's a waste to use a good blog on just the website because, whether the paper wants to admit it or not, there are a lot of people don't even know there is a Register website. Not everyone has a computer these days. Others don't use a computer even if there's one in the house. Your comments about Rick Brown [pictured at the left] are on-target. He is, as you say, a top-notch writer. Indeed, I'm pretty sure he won the latest Iowa Sportswriter Of the Year award. I, too, think his comments about Johnny Orr and the late Wayman Tisdale should have appeared in the paper. The story could have been used as a sidebar with the Tisdale obituary. Not all blogs on the Register website are strong enough to appear in the paper, but some are. And if they are, they should appear in the print edition of the paper. Don't forget, Scott, there are people in the newspaper business who think the end of the print version of papers is clearly in sight. A few papers appear online only now, and there are some in the industry who feel they'll all be online in the near-future. Frankly, I don't feel that way. I think there will always be a print version of the Des Moines Register and the Cedar Rapids Gazette. They probably won't look like they do now, but there will always be some version of a local newspaper. I'll reprint Rick Brown's blog about Orr and Tisdale at the end of this column. By the way, Scott, the Register now costs 75 cents at vending machines, so you're saving even more money by not buying it anymore. Obviously, you're not the only person who has quit spending money on the paper. The latest circulation figures tell us that. I haven't been able to listen to much sportstalk radio lately, but I appreciate your thoughts on it. It looks like the decision-makers have been able to hire people who will keep the "F" word off the air for a while, and that's one thing my pastor and I regard as an improvement. Keep up the good work, Scott. The college football and basketball seasons aren't that far away].

*

Rick Brown's blog in the Register about Wayman Tisdale:

Johnny remembers Tisdale
by Rick Brown
May 15, 2009

Oklahoma had escaped with an overtime victory at Hilton Coliseum that March night in 1983.

But a visitor came calling to the Iowa State locker room to offer his congratulations. It was Sooners star Wayman Tisdale. Retired Iowa State coach Johnny Orr remembers the game well.

Tisdale had scored 46 on the Cyclones in a 28-point victory in Norman, Okla., the month before. It could have been more, too.

“I got tired of looking at him,” Orr said. “I told (Oklahoma coach) Billy Tubbs, “When are you going to take him out? You’ve only got us down 30.’ ”

Tubbs did take Tisdale out early.

“They took it easy on us,” Orr said.

But the rematch was a different story. Orr came up with a plan to put his top defender, Ronnie Harris, on Tisdale in Ames, even though Harris was at a significant size disadvantage. Harris limited Tisdale to 16 points.

“After the game, Wayman came over and said, “You played a heck of a game,’ ” Orr recalled. “He told Ronnie, “Man, you did a helluva job.’ ”

Orr says that Tisdale and Danny Manning of Kansas were the best Big Eight players he ever coached against at Iowa State.

“Wayman was always a nice guy,” Orr said. “And an absolutely phenomenal player.”

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: The next time I see Rick, I'll have to ask him if my byline was on those Iowa State-Oklahoma game stories he wrote about. I covered a million of Johnny Orr's games at Iowa State, and I recall being on hand for some of Tisdale's games against the Cyclones, but I'm not sure which ones. I've forgotten when Rick came to the paper, so maybe he was the guy who covered the Tisdale/Cyclone games he wrote about. Or maybe it was Buck Turnbull or Bob Dyer. Like I said, I'll have to check with Rick, Whatever, Tisdale was a sensational player and Orr was just what Iowa State's basketball program needed at the time. I enjoyed covering the guy and his teams].

Carolyn Washburn's Husband Has a New Pizza Cookbook On the Market--And I Like the Sound Of That Salmon Mango Rosemary; Green Bean & Goat Cheese, Too

Let me see if I can get this straight without having to make any telephone calls or ask any e-mail questions on a busy Saturday.

Carolyn Washburn wrote on her Twitter site that her husband has a new pizza cookbook on the market, and told readers how they could order it.

Washburn is the vice-president and editor of the Des Moines Register, our troubled daily newspaper.

I say "troubled" because all daily newspapers are troubled these days. Plummeting circulation, staff layoffs, political cartoonist fired and escorted to the door by security, wage freezes, unpaid furloughs for employees...you name it, the Register and other papers have it.

I don't know Carolyn Washburn at all. Never met the lady. All I know is what I read and hear about her.

The Washington Post and Wall Street Journal didn't like the way she handled the presidential debate when it was held in Des Moines, but Washburn -- like so many other newspaper people, other than David Yepsen -- shouldn't be expected to be Peter Jennings or Walter Cronkite and know anything about being a TV moderator.

I also know the Register retirees' group asked Washburn three times to be the speaker at its monthly lunches, and she was a no-show every time.

Oh, well. No doubt the girl was busy. For all I know, she'd called sports editor Bryce Miller on the carpet those days because he missed some high school scores again or was reaming him out because he screwed up the hard-hitting "In the Loop," or something else.

I think Carolyn was on the fast track with the Gannett Co., at least for a while. I don't know if Des Moines will be the place that does her in with the company or not.

But listen, this isn't about Carolyn Washburn. It's about her husband's pizza book.

Like I say, I first knew there was a Washburn book about pizza when I read Carolyn's Twitter message that said, "Blatant promo. Hubby's pizza cookbook is out. Order here, forward on. Sign up for a class. http://threesiblingsinthek."

Hey, nothing wrong with trying to help the old man sell a few cookbooks.

*

I've never used the word "hubby," but I guess that's short for husband. And I'm making a wild guess that Carolyn's husband's name is Perry, even though three members of the family are given credit for knowing their way around an oven and maybe even being contributors to "Pizza Night With Perry."

I found a website that told more about it:

"Three Washburns In The Kitchen

"About Me

*There are three of us in the Washburn family -- Kathryn Washburn Breighner, David Washburn, and Perry Washburn -- and we love to cook. We grew up in Boswell, Indiana and now live in Harbor Springs, Michigan, Des Moines, Iowa, and Bokeelia, Florida. As we play in the kitchen, we're chronicling our creations to share with each other and our family and friends."

*

Perry Washburn also wrote: "My pizza books have arrived!

"Pizza Night with Perry....24 recipes and 22 cooking class secrets in one little book

"From the promo material:

"'This amazing little pizza book is full of recipes and tips that will surprise and amaze your Pizza Night guests. Unique taste combinations include: Blueberry Portobello, Apple Prosciutto, Green Bean and Goat Cheese, Salmon Mango Rosemary and Perry's signature Maque Choux with Fresh Corn and Andouille Sausage. Born from creating countless Pizza Nights and teaching dozens of cooking classes, Perry brings you savory doughs, tangy and unusual sauces and unexpected toppings. This little book is a gem!'

"Price $20 each. If you are out of town, I will ship them for free. If you are near me, I will give you $5 off your next cooking class.

"Contact me: foodisfun@mchsi.com, or perry@perrywashburn.com.

"You can send me a check, or pay through PayPal:"

I'll tell you what, I could go for that Salmon Mango Rosemary anytime of the day or night. Forget me on the Andouille Sausage because I don't do sausage anymore, but I could also get interested in the Green Bean and Goat Cheese.

*

Perry doesn't just write, he performs. The man holds cooking classes, and here's what he wrote about those:

"Perry's Cooking Classes!

"*foodisfun@mchsi.com

"*Perry Washburn, who taught a series of fun and delicious cooking classes in Boise, Idaho, is returning to the Des Moines, IA, area cooking class scene with his motto: Food is Fun!

"*Tuesday, May 12 (note the new date), Food is Fun! Perry takes a walk through Cajun country with Southern Gumbo, Jambalaya and Bread Pudding.

"*Monday, May 18 Food is Fun! Fish! Not Foul! Perry takes the mystery out of preparing fish, teaching you some basic preparation techniques, and some simple-yet-stunning sauces using oranges, lemons, capers, honey and more. You'll find out why Perry's kids LOVE fish!

"*All classes are $35. E-mail foodisfun@mchsi.com, or call (515) 537-4594 to schedule. 940 Brentwood Circle, Waukee, IA.

*Do you have a special dish or style of food you would like to learn? Would you like to schedule a lunch or day-time class? Need a festive class for a company gathering? Contact Perry! Almost anything is possible when Food is Fun!"

*

Memo to Perry: From one author to another, good luck on the book.

This & That, Including Bradley, Staiger, the Chryslers I Never Owned and All the Other Cars I Did--Including That '66 Super Sport I Wish I Still Had

I heard from former Des Moines newspaperman Don Clasen, who has information from Chicago:

"Cubs win!

"We just got back from the game on a beautiful Thursday afternoon at Wrigley. But we left after the seventh inning when the Cubs took a commanding 11-1 lead. The Padres must be one of the worst teams in the majors. They looked almost as bad as the Sox did in last Sunday's loss to the stRangers. We were punished for eight innings and then departed.

"Yesterday, the Cubs looked like the guys who play at the No-Name Facility in Des Moines. But Scales, Theriot, Hoffpauir and Soto looked good.

"But how 'bout them Hawks? In this case I mean the Blackhawks. My wife was like a kid again after we viewed Monday night's victory over Vancouver. She was overjoyed to see her favorite player--Patrick Kane, the 20-year-old kid--notch a hat trick as the Hawks advanced to the division finals against the Red Wings.

"Can the Hawks capture the Stanley Cub? Don't know, but I'd never have guessed these kids would have come this far. They are a pleasure to watch after another slow game on the diamond."

Don Clasen

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Thanks for your thoughts, Don. The Cubs are on a pretty good roll, and credit must be given to players from No-Name Ballteam for providing help. There are still some problems, such as what to do with Derrek Lee. Micah Hoffpauir is clearly doing a better job at the plate than the veteran first baseman Lee, who can't hit his weight. I wish manager Lou Piniella would bench Lee for a couple of weeks and let Hoffpauir play regularly. Maybe they can invent some sort of imaginary injury so Lee can go on the disabled list. The Cubs had a chance to do that when Lee was bothered by a neck problem but, unfortunately, he made a fast recovery. It's sad to watch Lee at the plate. He's a prime double-play candidate and he strikes out far too much. Mike Fontenot isn't hitting after a fast start, so I guess I'd use Aaron Miles, even though he's not hitting anything, at second base for a while and ex-No-Name player Bobby Scales at third while Aramis Ramirez is recovering from a dislocated shoulder. Milton Bradley still isn't hitting well enough, and we won't have to see him today because he'll be serving his one-day [reduced from two] suspension for bumping an umpire. Bradley needs to get it going, as does catcher Geovany Soto. The bullpen seems to be settling down, thanks to help from No-Name Team. Now if they can find some garbage bin to put Neal Cotts in.]

*

Great atmosphere last night at the Farmers Market in Valley Junction. Excellent music, excellent crowd.

*

The Valley Southwoods boys' soccer team is on an absolute roll. Another 1-0 victory -- this time over Waukee -- before the Farmers Market.

*

I'm not sure the Des Moines Register knows that Milton Bradley plays for the Cubs. I mean, there wasn't anything in today's paper about Bradley's suspension being cut from two games to one game by major league baseball.

It could be that the copy editor at the paper who is assigned to baseball suspensions is working at Casey's this week because he or she is on a company-ordered furlough.

Bradley sat out yesterday's game against San Diego, and will serve his suspension today.

*

Like I wrote earlier, I'm not among the two or three people -- all of them sportswriters -- who are excited that Lucca Staiger will be playing basketball for Iowa State again next season.

And, as I also wrote, I doubt Staiger is going to see much of the basketball in the 2009-2010 season because Craig Brackins will always have it.

*

I don't feel good about the people who will be losing their jobs at Chrysler dealerships around the country -- right down to the folks who sweep up at night.

But I don't feel sorry for the bosses at Chrysler. I've always thought they made an inferior product, and I have never bought a Plymouth, Dodge, DeSoto or Chrysler.

Maybe that's why Plymouth and DeSoto flew the coop long before Chrysler.

Well, maybe I could be talked into one of those Dodge 4-wheel-drive clubcab trucks at a good price, but that's about all I'd be interested in.

*

Still on the subject of cars, I was thinking about the ones I've had since I bought my 1937 V-8 Ford coupe with mechanical brakes and lots of zip when I was 16.

There was the 1940 Chevrolet coupe, the 1941 Chevy sedan, the 1936 Pontiac I bought from Dick Plattenberger that rarely ran, the 1953 Chevy Bel-Air, the 1930 Ford Model A coupe [which briefly made me a two-car kid], the 1961 Chevy Biscayne [my first new car], the 1966 fire engine-red Chevy Impala Super Sport [which I wish I still had], the 1970 yellow Ford LTD that rusted out, all those Volkswagens [the 1959 black one with no gas gauge I bought from Dan Callahan], the 1970 green one I bought for the kids, the two Volkswagen vans that sometimes started and sometimes stopped, the two Pontiacs in the 1970s [one of which had been a State Trooper car] I bought at the DOT auction, the other Pontiac I didn't buy at the DOT auction, the 1989 Toyota Camry [pictured at the left] that I still own and which is the official car of this website, plus the 1998 Honda Accord with leather seats, sunroof, CD player and only about 50,000 miles that sits next to the Camry in my garage.

*

Another thing that wasn't in the Des Moines Register today:

I don't lose much sleep over the National Basketball Association playoffs, but the Houston Rockets won again last night, and now have a chance to knock out the Los Angeles Lakers -- which would be fine with me.

Aaron Brooks scored 26 points, Luis Scola scored 24 points and had 12 rebounds, and the Rockets pushed the Lakers to the limit in their Western Conference semifinal series with a 95-80 victory in the sixth game of the series at Houston.

"For the last two days, all I've heard is that we weren't going back to L.A.," Houston coach Rick Adelman told reporters after the game. "Our guys didn't believe that."

Cubs Win Late Last Night and Today, Too. Theriot Is Still Hitting Home Runs, So I Hope Bud Selig Doesn't Ask What He Sprinkles On His Cheerios

Well, I guess it's my job to give you the Chicago Cubs' information again today because the paper some of us used to depend on for the news got an "F" on its report card again last night and this morning.

No story on the Cubs, I mean.

I guess the game finished past the ridiculous 11:10 p.m. deadline the paper now has.

In the old days [here I go again, talking about the old days], a game could finish at 1 a.m. and the paper would have the results.

Anyway, the Cubs won last night's rain-delayed [three times] game, 6-4, over the San Diego Padres, and that's what really matters.

Heavy rain finally caused the game to be halted by the umpires after 7 1/2 innings.

I watched the game on TV and I watched the televised interviews afterward.

Shortstop Ryan Theriot was the star of the show. A guy who isn't supposed to be a home run hitter smacked two, thanks to a 15-mile-an-hour wind that was blowing out, not in, at Wrigley Field.

Pretty soon they're going to be asking Theriot what he sprinkles on his breakfast cereal.

I'm assuming it's not the same stuff Manny Ramirez used to get suspended for 50 games.

The shortstop has hit a career-high five home runs this season -- all this month. Alfonso Soriano hit his 53rd leadoff homer and Geovany Soto also went deep for the Cubs, who are only a half-game out of first place [behind Cincinnati, St. Louis and Milwaukee] in the National League Central despite the loss of third baseman Aramis Ramirez with a shoulder separation.

*
The Cubs wound up sweeping the three-game series from the Padres by winning Thursday's game, 11-3.

Bobby Scales, the 31-year-old rookie who was recently called up from No-Name Ballteam in Des Moines. hit a pair of two-run doubles. Scales has hit safely in all six games he's played, and it's the longest streak for a Cubs player to start his major league career since Jerome Walton hit in seven successive games in 1969.

"He wants some playing time," Cubs manager Lou Piniella said of Scales.

Asked by Chicago reporters if he'll get it, Piniella said, "I've said many times players in the large part make out the lineup for the manager."

*

I'm afraid I wouldn't last long in Tony LaRussa's press sessions before and after St. Louis Cardinals games.

The way LaRussa is critical of reporters' questions and the way he barks at people is childish and ridiculous.

Obviously, he'd like to control [maybe even strangle] the press. If you don't play the game his way, you're an outsider.

He sounds a lot like Lute Olson in his last few seasons as Iowa's basketball coach.

*

Nancy Newhoff, [pictured at the left], editor of the Waterloo/Cedar Falls Courier, writes on Twitter: "Sad, but true: UNI baseball begins final home series at 6:30 p.m. today at Riverfront Stadium in Waterloo. Games also Friday and Saturday."

That's right, this is it for UNI baseball, which won't be a collegiate sport at the university after this season.

UNI goes into its final series with a 21-25 record. Average attendance for home games is a paltry 257.

Of course, the road attendance isn't all that hot either -- 414.

I guess college baseball fans are going to have to depend on Grand View, Wartburg and Iowa in the future -- and that's not saying anything positive about Iowa.

If that program were dropped, no one would notice.

*

No, that picture at the right isn't another one from "Dancing With the Stars." The Chicago Sun-Times photo shows Chicago Cubs outfielders Alfonso Soriano, Kosuke Fukudome and Milton Bradley. They've obviously been pretty happy lately.

It's Too Bad 'Dancing With the Stars' Isn't a Sports Story; If It Were, the Paper Would've Had Dan Johnson Drive To L.A. So He Could Give Us the Scoop

I didn't see anything in the paper this morning about "Dancing With the Stars."

It could be I missed it. Maybe the story was buried somewhere near "My 2 Cents Worth" or the Health section.

Maybe the paper had an early deadline or something. Like 8 p.m.

All I know is, if this was a sports story about a smiling little sweetheart from West Des Moines who was appearing in front of millions of viewers on national TV, it would be all over the paper.

Carolyn Washburn might even write about it on Twitter.

The editors probably would've even had hard-working reporter Dan Johnson [no relation to Shawn Johnson, as far as I know] drive to Los Angeles to cover it.

Oh, well. I didn't see anything in the paper about Tim Floyd giving O. J. Mayo $1,000 either, but that's how it goes in the journalism business these days.

Skip the news and spend time on the copy desk talking to each other about how you're going to spend your furlough week.

[Hey, wait a second. I checked the sports section again, and there's a two-paragraph item about Floyd and Mayo at the bottom of page 5. I'll check it out as soon as I find my magnifying glass].

I didn't watch "Dancing" last night [hey, I can't keep up with everything. I'm supposed to be retired, you know], so I've been trying to get up to date this morning on who's in and who's out.

A guy who comes to the sportswriters' lunches told us the other day he tapes the appearances of Shawn Johnson [pictured at the right], so I'll check with him later today about the latest performance of West Des Moines' Little Princess.

News dispatches on the Internet have already informed me that Johnson and the the guy she dances with [I forget his name all the time] are finalists, so that's all that matters to me and every other Iowan.

I've also learned that Ty Murray, a rodeo cowboy who kept telling TV viewers about how bad a dancer he was, finally convinced everyone that he, indeed, can't dance. He and his partner have been voted off the show.

I've been writing that I think "Dancing" is fixed, just like all the old game shows were fixed. Further indication of that came when Melissa Rycroft, who the entertainment writers call the "jilted 'Bachelor' contestant," is a "Dancing" finalist.

That tells me ABC-TV wanted to make things right for Melissa.

I also don't believe that crap about the voting from viewers. The announcer never tells us how many people voted for this dancer or that dancer.

For all I know, the "audience voting" is phony. I wonder if they even count the votes.

I know ABC really, really likes Shawn Johnson and her million-dollar smile, so it's no surprise to me at all that she's a finalist.

In the long run, I guess that's all I care about.

*

Back to Tim Floyd and O. J. Mayo [pictured at the left].

Floyd is the former Iowa State basketball coach who now is at Southern California.

Mayo played one season for him in 2007-2008.

Yahoo says Floyd "made a direct cash payment to a man who helped deliver Mayo to the Trojans program, according to Louis Johnson, a former member of Mayo’s inner circle.

"Johnson, a one-time Mayo confidant, has told both NCAA investigators and federal authorities, including the FBI, IRS and U.S. Attorney’s Office, that Floyd gave at least $1,000 in cash to Rodney Guillory, a man who allegedly lavished Mayo with improper benefits while the guard starred for the Trojans.

"Such an act would constitute a major NCAA violation for USC, which is the subject of an ongoing three-year investigation into alleged improprieties in both the football and men’s basketball programs."

Ir'a hard for me to believe they've got Tim Floyd mixed up in something like this. They must have him confused with the UCLA coach.

*

I sure hope they're able to save all the hockey teams in Des Moines. Just don't plan on me buying any tickets. I especially want the Chops' fans -- all 23 of them -- to be happy.

*

Speaking of teams that need help, I'm assuming that new basketball practice floor at Carver-Hawkeye Arena in Iowa City is on schedule. I'm 100 percent certain the new practice court will help Iowa's men's team. Lisa Bluder's women's team seems to be doing all right without a practice floor.

*

An editorial in the paper is headlined "Iowa should revive passenger trains." I think so, too, but it's not going to happen. So forget writing editorials about it. It's a waste of time and space.

*

All I know is, I'm glad they shot that guy last night at Glen Oaks.

Where's Chuck Albrecht When I Need Him? Oh, Well, It Doesn't Matter. I Won't Be Spending Any Money To Watch the Chops Or To Visit No-Name Ballfield

Now that my good friend Chuck Albrecht doesn't live around here anymore, I don't get a chance to be updated on the local hockey scene.

I mean, if Charlie was here, we'd have a cup of coffee, and I'd get all the answers.

I hear the Des Moines team that for some unknown reason is called the Iowa Chops will no longer get its players from the Anaheim Ducks.

Something about the Chops not paying their bills, I guess.

I didn't go to any of the Chops' games, and won't go in the future, even if they're still playing what some people like to think is good minor league hockey.

At this stage of my life, I'm not fighting traffic to find a place to park downtown at night, and I'm not paying any money for overpriced tickets and overpriced concessions.

The only people I feel badly for are the Chops' fans.

The players, the management, the people making money off the fans can shove it.

I feel the same way about the No-Name baseball team that plays at No-Name Ballfield.

The last time I went to a game with my son, daughter-in-law and their two kids a couple of years ago, it cost $4 to park the car. I hear the price has since gone up to $5.

Ridiculous.

I haven't gone back mainly because I don't like the owner and his underlings stealing money from the fans.

Unless one of my grandchilden wants to go to a game, I'm staying as far away from that ballpark as I can get.

There are too many more enjoyable and more important things to do in the spring and summer than getting robbed at the ballfield.

*

Speaking of the hockey team, channel 13 sports director Keith Murphy writes on Twitter: "So far we've received just five e-mails about the Ducks dropping the Chops. That's far less than we receive when Erin changes hairstyles."

I assume Murphy is referring to news anchor Erin Kiernan.

*

Speaking of TV newspeople, Kevin Cooney's name came up at one of the lunches I recently had with some friends who seemed to know what they were talking about.

Evidently, Cooney [pictured at the right] had ripped newspapers in something he wrote for something called City View.

Guys like Cooney don't usually get outspoken -- at least in public -- about other types of media.

After all, Cooney works for KCCI, which has been the top-rated TV station for local news since Russ Van Dyke came into town 200 years ago or so in a covered wagon and began drinking A-E milk during the 10 p.m. newscast.

Van Dyke has gone to the big TV studio in the sky, but someone once told me that channel 8 could prop a cardboard likeness of him on the set, and most people in metropolitan Des Moines would be watching.

And Cooney comes from a family that includes people who used to work at the Des Moines Register.

When people from the Cooney family and the Bryson family lined up to get their paychecks in the newsroom, it was like the soup line during the Depression.

I looked up what Cooney wrote, and it was pretty good stuff. Among the things he wrote was that "newspapers have been killing themselves for decades."

Somebody mentioned that Carolyn Washburn, the Register's editor, wasn't very happy about what Cooney wrote.

Actually, I think the guy said Washburn was "pissed off" about what Cooney wrote.

[I kind of hate using language like that because there are so many young readers, as well as pastors, who see my stuff on places like Facebook and Twitter in addition to my website, but I figure I'd better quote my friends accurately].

The guy wondered if Washburn being pissed off about what Cooney wrote led to the Register recently entering into a "news content" agreement with WHO-TV/channel 13.

I'm not sure about that. But I'll find out and let you know, and I'll try to keep the language clean

*

Speaking of Carolyn Washburn, I mentioned a while back that she wrote this on Twitter about people in the Register's sports department:

"Every reporter on the Register sports team has now reported and produced their own video story."

I've thought about that a while.

I'm thinking people on what she calls the paper's "sports team" probably would prefer that information about them checking out and using movie cameras while covering stories be kept a secret.

It's kind of an embarrassment.

I recall a story I heard many years ago.

A guy at the paper marched into the managing editor's office one day and wondered if he could be assigned a camera, so he could use it on his assignments. I mean, a 35 mm still camera because I doubt movie cameras had even been invented then.

The managing editor said, "We'd prefer to keep our photographers busy with the cameras."

You'd think the Register would want the photographers taking the movies now. But, for all I know, maybe there aren't enough photographers still working at the place.

I also know the one or two who are still employed are waiting for the pay cut that certainly is on the way from the Gannett Co.

*

Scott Dochterman of the Cedar Rapids [and Iowa City] Gazette quotes Iowa basketball coach Todd Lickliter as saying, “In my opinion, we’re starting to turn the corner.”

I'm glad Lickliter feels that way, but I posed this comment on Twitter: "I'd like to know the name of the medication Lickliter is on."

*

That ridiculous story about Brett Favre wanting to play for the Minnesota Vikings won't go away.

I think Favre is nuttier than a fruitcake.

Now the word is that Favre has mailed X-rays of his always-injured shoulder to the Vikings.

Jim Sullivan [pictured at the left] of the Waterloo Courier wrote on Twitter: "Borrowed page from Favre. Sent X-ray of my brain to Vikes. Amazingly, it showed nothing. Confirms I'm a sportswriter."

Good stuff, Sully. Jim Walden would be proud of you.

*

The Cubs' Derrek Lee doesn't need to be put on the disabled list.

That's too bad.

Regardless of what the tests show, I think there's something wrong with Lee, to whom I have given the nickname "6-4-3" -- standing for shortstop-to-second-baseman-to-first-baseman-for-a-double-play.

I was hoping Micah Hoffpauir would keep playing first base.

He's Not Crazy, He's Just a Cub: The Team Now Has a Player With An Imaginary Midget Friend Named Farney, Who Lives In His Head and Talks To Him

The Chicago Cubs have a budget of only about $140 million this season.

[By the way, that word "only" is a joke].

Consequently, you'd think they could afford to find someone other than Ryan Freel as a backup infielder and outfielder.

I mean, the Ryan Freel with the imaginary little friend named Farney.

You maybe were too busy getting ready for, and celebrating Mothers Day, over the weekend to notice that Freel now plays for the Cubs.

If so, you didn't miss anything.

Freel's major league history doesn't demand more than one of two sentences of mention.

However, the fact that Farney is part of his history makes the story a bit more interesting.

Someone from the Chicago Tribune asked Freel about Farney yesterday.

"The newest Cub addressed rumors that he has an imaginary friend named 'Farney.'" the paper said. "In a 2006 interview with the Dayton Daily News, Freel said: 'He's a little guy who lives in my head who talks to me and I talk to him. That little midget in my head said, 'That was a great catch, Ryan.' I said, 'Hey, Farney, I don't know if that was you who really caught the ball, but that was pretty good if it was.'

"Freel said Sunday it was all a joke, but conceded the story took on a life of its own.

"'I was kind of playing with the media," he said. "Someone said, 'Who've we got today, Ryan or Farney?' I think I might have been in a bad mood one day or a couple of days because we were losing or something, and I just kept [the story] going.'

"So is Freel a crazy player?

"'No, no, no," he said. "Well, I am crazy, but not that crazy. I've definitely got a few screws loose, but not in that sense. I'm probably a little 'spasmatic' sometimes, or high energy from one day to the next. You don't know what's going to happen with it.'"

Like I said, you'd think the Cubs would be able to afford someone who makes a little more sense than this nutcase.

I wonder how long he's going to last with manager Lou Piniella, who's more than a little goofy himself.

*

I watched a couple of the Cubs' games at Milwaukee over the weekend, and noticed that a member of the Brewers' TV team of announcers is Telly Hughes.

I thought for a while, and recalled that it was probably the same Telly Hughes [pictured at the right] who once worked at WHO-TV/channel 13 in Des Moines.

He didn't last long. Something tells me management didn't think he was going to be the next Bryant Gumbel.

I checked with channel 13 sports director Keith Murphy this morning to see if the Brewers' Telly Hughes was WHO-TV's Telly Hughes.

Same guy.

I looked up Hughes on the Internet, and found that he "joined FOX Sports Wisconsin for his first season as a sideline reporter for Brewers sideline coverage...He came to Milwaukee from Minneapolis, where he worked as a reporter and host for FOX Sports North in 2008.

"He was responsible for the network's pregame, sideline and postgame coverage of the Minnesota Twins, Minnesota Timberwolves and Minnesota Wild. While at FOX Sports North, Hughes also hosted Wolves Weekly, the Tubby Smith Show and Our Heroes: A Black History Month Special, which earned him a regional Emmy Award.

"A native of St. Louis, Hughes earned his bachelor's degree in mass communication and broadcast journalism from Illinois State University, where he also played baseball. He began his broadcasting career in Macon, Ga., as a weekend sports reporter for WMAZ and also worked as a sports reporter for CBS affiliate, WHO in Des Moines and for KPLR in St. Louis."

I must've caught Hughes on a bad day. He was interviewing a Brewers official during a game and, for some reason, called it a basketball game.

Obviously, he's no Trenni Kusnierek, who preceded him as a Brewers sideline announcer. Kusnierek is now with MLB-TV.

*

Pictures [one of which is at the left] are making the rounds of Tim Tebow, the Florida quarterback, and his new girlfriend.

George Wine forwarded it [the picture, I mean] to me, and it's a nice one.

I think George cheers for Florida when he isn't cheering for Iowa.

*

I looked for the one-page Business section in the Register this morning, but never found it.

It could be I got a test issue of the paper.

Actually, maybe the whole paper -- what there was of it -- was a test issue.

Nothing to it, folks. Skimpiest paper I've ever seen.

And, now that hard-hitting Work Bytes is history, I guess there's no reason to have a one-page Business section.

Now That We Know Jeff Samardzija Is Showing Signs Of Early Alzheimer's, He Can Work On His 2nd and 3rd Pitches The Entire Summer At No-Name Ballfield

Let me see if I've got this right.

Jeff Samardzija said a while back, in effect, that Des Moines is a lousy town.

Now he says he can't remember saying it.

The main reason he has sudden, short-term memory loss is because he's back in Des Moines, and could be here most or all of the summer.

Samardzija [pictured at the right] is a former Notre Dame football and baseball player -- notice, I didn't say "star" like so many other people do -- who now pitches in the Chicago Cubs' system.

For a while, Samardzija seemed to be the next rising flame-thrower on the Cubs' horizon.

Not quite Kerry Wood or Mark Prior, but close.

Then opposing hitters found out he has only pitch, and he's back in Des Moines.

*

The problems with Samardzija's early stages of Alzheimer's began late last month.

He had spent a short time pitching for what I call No-Name Ballteam at No-Name Ballfield in Des Moines.

I call it No-Name Ballfield because the ridiculous little owner of the team chose to name the stadium after a financial company in town that, naturally, paid him money for the naming rights.

The little man will do anything to make a buck.

So he changed the name of Sec Taylor Stadium to what I call No-Name Ballfield.

Sec Taylor was the longtime sports editor at the Des Moines Register.

Sec would probably slash his wrists if he saw what's going on at his old newspaper these days, but that's a column for a different day.

Anyway, when Samardzija was called up to the Cubs recently, he decided to bad-mouth Des Moines when he got to Chicago.

On the Cubs' very own website on mlb.com, Carrie Muskat -- who went to school at Drake -- wrote this:

"Samardzija is hoping that's the last time he'll be in Des Moines.

"As far as I'm concerned, you can 'X' it off the map," Samardzija said. "It's a great town, I don't want to put it down, but if you have to put Des Moines and Chicago on a scale, I think it tips heavily to one side."

The Chicago papers said basically the same thing.

On April 25, here's what I wrote in a column, under this headline:

"It's a Dumb Thing for Pitcher Samardzija To Stick a Fork In Des Moines; I Think He Might Need To Spend Most Of the Summer Here--With the Barnstormers

"Relief pitcher Jeff Samardzija spent a few days in Des Moines, playing for No-Name Ballteam at No-Name Ballfield, after being farmed out by the Chicago Cubs. When he was recalled this week, Samardzija said this about Des Moines to the Chicago Tribune: "As far as I'm concerned, you can just [take] the exit off the map. It's a great town. I don't want to put it down. But if you have to put Des Moines and Chicago on a scale, I think it tips heavily to one side."

"Dumb stuff to say, Jeff.

"The way you're pitching, you'll be back in Des Moines before you know it.

"Hell, you might spend the rest of the summer here.

"And if I had anything to say about it, you'd be suiting up for the Iowa Barnstormers, not No-Name Ballteam.

"Your future, pal, is not as a baseball player. It's a good thing you played football at Notre Dame."

*

As far as I know, the Des Moines Register did not -- repeat did not -- publish Samardzija's quotes about Des Moines.

So, as usual, the paper is playing catch-up again.

As for his dumb comments about Des Moines, in this morning's paper, Samardjiza was quoted by Randy Peterson as saying, "I don't remember saying it. I could have said it. I don't remember all of my quotes."

Obviously, maybe Samardzija should've taken a memory course at Notre Dame.

Or enrolled in a medical trial for dementia patients at one of the hospitals.

Whatever, I hope he enjoys his summer here. He's likely seen the inside of the Chicago Cubs' clubhouse until the September call-ups.

Unless he's traded to Cleveland before that.

The Cubs again want Samardzija to try to become a starting pitcher. Why, I don't know. Whenever he goes back to Chicago, he's in the bullpen.

I've got to think he'll be trade bait down the road because, obviously, he's in manager Lou Piniella's doghouse.

Once you're in Piniella's doghouse, you never get out.

''He needs to work on his second and third pitches,'' Piniella told the Chicago Sun-Times about Samardzija. ''It's hard to pitch up here with a fastball only.

''You have to get people off your fastball, whether it's Samardzija or anybody else. Any pitcher at the big-league level needs to have a second and third pitch that they can rely on and get people off the other pitches. You have to throw awfully hard and locate the ball awfully well just to count on one pitch being your dominant pitch.''

*

Speaking of the Cubs, reserve outfielder Joey Gathright is history.

Gathright has speed, and not much else. He can't hit, and never could. They thought he could play defense, but that didn't work out either. He misplayed a ball last night in the Cubs' 8-5 victory at Houston, and it was thought he'd be sent to No-Name Ballteam today.

Instead, he was traded to the Baltimore Orioles for outfielder-infielder Ryan Freel, which likely will turn into a nothing deal. Freel doesn't appear to be anyone who will help the Cubs. He sure isn't going to win any pennants for them.

Just another guy clogging up the bench and the payroll.

It looks like Bobby Scales, a reserve infielder who began the season with No-Name Ballteam, will stay with Chicago for the time being.

*

Also available to Cleveland, Baltimore or the night shift at Firestone is Chad Fox, a 38-year-old former relief pitcher who was brought up to the Cubs this week to replace Samardjiza.

Fox [pictured at the left] was an accident waiting to happen in last night's game.

Put into the game for mop-up duty in the ninth inning when the Cubs were ahead, 8-2, Fox gave up two hits, two walks and three runs in one-third of an inning.

His earned-run average is now a whopping 81.01.

He's not the answer, anymore than Samardzija was the answer.

I'd say the boys in the No-Name bullpen should keep their cell phones turned on.

Drake Will Hear the 'Let's Go, Peay!' Cheer a Lot Next Season; The Bulldogs and Governors Will See Plenty Of Each Other On the Basketball Court

It's a little early to be thinking about the 2009-2010 collegiate basketball season, but that doesn't mean the schedule-makers haven't been busy.


I can tell you a couple of things today about Drake's schedule.

The Bulldogs will see plenty of Austin Peay.

The university in Clarksville, Tenn., that is.

Drake will participate in an eight-team tournament called the Glenn Wilkes Classic that will be played in Daytona Beach, Fla. Other teams in the Nov. 19-22 event are Austin Peay, Akron, Niagara, Indiana-Purdue of Indianapolis, Central Florida, Auburn and Howard.

That's not what you'd call a blockbuster collection of teams, so maybe a a new-look Drake squad coached by Mark Phelps can do all right in the tournament.

Phelps' recruiting class has been called the best in the Missouri Valley Conference. He was a very inconsistent 17-16 in his first season at Drake.

*

I can also tell you that Drake will play a return game against Austin Peay in Clarksville, Tenn., on Nov. 28.

You remember Austin Peay. It's a university with an enrollment of 9,401 that was named after a former Tennessee governor who was a native of Clarksville.

The team's nickname is the Governors, and I hear that one of the fans' favorite cheers is, "Let's go, Peay!"

Says Scott Pierce, Drake's football and women's basketball annouoncer: "Don't you remember 'Fly' Williams, who played for Austin Peay? The chant was, 'The 'Fly's' open. Let's go Peay.'"

Drake walloped Austin Peay, 71-54, last Feb. 21 in its last decent game, and last victory, of the season. The Bulldogs lost their final four games.

The Austin Peay game was part of the BracketBusters weekend, and it was also the night Drake honored members of the 1968-69 Final Four team. Willie McCarter, Dolph Pulliam and Willie Wise had their jerseys and numbers retired that night.

*

I'll bet you'd really like to know all about Glenn Wilkes, the guy for whom the Glenn Wilkes Classic is named after.

Well, you came to the right place.

I've found out that Wilkes won 674 collegiate games in 41 seasons of coaching. Stetson University was one of his stops. In 1958, he originated the Glenn Wilkes Basketball School, the south’s first and most popular basketball school which he personally directed for 37 years. He now works closely with Nike basketball camps, directs the Shooting Stars camp, the Shooting Stars point guard camp and the Shooting Stars big man camp.

*

McCoy McLemore, the former Drake standout who died recently at 67 from complications of cancer, played for eight seasons in the NBA after his career with the Bulldogs ended.

As I've pointed out previously, it's too bad McLemore's accomplishments at Drake weren't recognized earlier because the guy was a tremendous collegiate player.

He's the guy who really got Maury John's program going into high gear.

The folks at Drake dug up some more information about McLemore and got additional photos [posted at the right] of him.

McLemore made the NBA All-Rookie team in 1965, and also was a member of 1971 Milwaukee Bucks squad that won the NBA championship.

He led the Bulldogs to their first-ever postseason appearance in 1964 with the team advancing to the second round of the NIT.

The 6-7 McLemore led the Bulldogs in both scoring and rebounding in the 1962-63 and 1963-64 seasons.

He came to Drake after spending two seasons at Moberly [Mo.] Junior College, where he had broken the scoring and rebounding records of Drake standout Phil "Red" Murrell.

He received the prestigious Drake Double D Award in 1985.

In conjunction with Drake's celebrating its 100th year of intercollegiate basketball during the 2005-06 season, McLemore was selected to the school's All-Decade team from 1960-69.

McLemore played with the San Francisco Warriors from 1964-66, the Chicago Bulls from 1966-68, Phoenix in 1968-69, Detroit from 1968-70, Milwaukee in 1970-71 and 1971-72, Cleveland in 1970-71 and Houston in 1971-72.

McLemore received a 1971 Army award for entertaining U.S. troops in Vietnam with his singing talents. He also did motivational work for the Bill Glass Evangelistic Association in over 200 prisons for 12 years.

*

I was going to write something today about 28-year-old Erin Rohwer [pictured at the left], that former Dowling teacher who gave an entirely new meaning to homework by carrying on a sexual relationship with an 18-year-old student, but I'm putting it off because I want to think about it a while longer.

All I'd like to say now is that it's a good thing for Rohwer that someone named Douglas Staskal was the judge, and not me.

*

Meanwhile, I'm getting excited as hell about what the Register's Hy-Vee triathlon bloggers are going to write.

In fact, I'm absolutely breathless in anticipation.

Brett Favre Is Obviously a Sick Man, and I Hope They Fit Him With Some Paper Shorts When He Goes To the Doctor's Office for His Vascular Testing

I've been wondering how sick this guy Brett Favre really is.

Sick enough that maybe somebody should call his doctor.

*

Speaking of doctors, a guy I know went to one the other day and was presented with a pair of paper shorts to wear during some vascular testing he was having.

Yes, paper shorts.

They're pictured at the right.

Nice blue color, huh?

"How long have you been using those in here," the guy asked the technician who was going to perform the tests.

"A couple of years," the tech said.

The conversation took the patient back a while, when he was having the same yearly tests.

The technician told the guy to get down to his underwear.

"Do you ever have anyone come in here who isn't wearing underwear?" the guy asked.

"Sure. Mostly women," the technician said.

Well, I guess that'll be a column for another day.

Now I know why paper shorts are on the medical scene.

By the way, the guy I know who wore the paper shorts asked if he could have 'em as a souvenir after his tests were finished.

"Take 'em," the technician said. "We just throw them away when your tests are finished."

*

I wonder if they'll give Brett Favre [pictured at the left] some paper shorts when he visits his doctor, which hopefully will be very soon.

The man needs help.

Brett Favre, I mean.

*

Another guy who needs help is Jeff Samardzija. He should've thought twice about bad-mouthing Des Moines recently. After the way he pitched yesterday in Chicago, No-Name Ballfield in Des Moines isn't far away again.

*

Actually, the Cubs could do everyone -- Samardzija and Chicago baseball fans included -- a favor by sending the lousy relief pitcher to Double-A.

The guy is in over his head in the National League and Triple-A.

*

Come to think of it, there's still time for Samardzija to try out for the Iowa Barnstormers.

*

Here we go again.

Rather, here's how Kosuke Fukudome goes again.

The Cubs' Japanese outfielder went 0-for-13 on the homestand that ended yesterday, and his batting average is now .300.

Fukodome slumped terribly in the second half of the 2009 season and, actually, his 0-for-13 slide is coming sooner this year.

I don't like the way it's looking.

*

I wrote yesterday that the only university I'd favor for Big Ten expansion to 12 teams is Notre Dame.

Barry Crist responded, "Notre Dame does not fit what the presidents of Big Ten universities desire in a conference member. Unlike the Big 12 Arena League and the So Everyone Cheats league, athletic directors do not run the Big Ten, college presidents do.

"They want a research oriented state university with a large TV market and a natural rival in the Big Ten. That means Rutgers is the odds-on favorite. Penn State would be their rival, they have the New York City TV market, their academics are superior to Notre Dame although their football team isn't except for the Weis era. Rutgers has 50,000-plus students and tremendous graduate schools and research grants.

'Meanwhile, Notre Dame has First Down Jesus.

*

My comment to that:

Sorry, Barry, a Rutgers-Iowa or Rutgers-Ohio State game in the Big Ten would definitely be a ho-hum affair in October. In November, there'd be thousands of empty seats. The students don't even show up for the homecoming game anymore at Kinnick Stadium. It's time for Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany to take early retirement."

Even Though Big Ten Football Is In a Down Cycle [1-6 In Bowls Last Season], the Only Way I'd Favor Expansion Would Be If the 12th Team Is Notre Dame

Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany is probably another guy who wishes Joe Paterno would retire as Penn State's football coach.

I'm thinking Delany would like to put Paterno out to pasture.

Or in an old-folks home.

Whichever is easier and cheaper.

The 82-year-old Paterno said the other day he thinks the Big Ten should add a 12th team [yeah, a league named the Big Ten already has 11 teams!] so it could have a playoff and get more attention late in the season.

I guess Paterno didn't think the Michigan-Ohio State and Iowa-Minnesota games on the final Saturday of the Big Ten season were enough to keep people around the country interested in the Big Ten.

[That's a joke].

But Delany [pictured at the right] told ESPN that he's in no hurry for the Big Ten to expand.

I'm not either unless the 12th team is Notre Dame. Paterno talked about such possibilities as Syracuse and Rutgers, which don't turn me on at all.

Just think, if Notre Dame would come into the Big Ten, maybe the league could get NBC, too. Right now, the Fighting Irish have their own TV network, which is what's helping keep them from joining the Big Ten.

*

There's considerably more to why fans aren't interested in Big Ten football in late-December and early-January, of course.

The fact that the league had a 1-6 bowl record last season [Iowa was the only winner] certainly didn't help matters.

*

If people at the Des Moines Register and other Gannett Co. newspapers were smart, they'd keep their eye on what the New York Times is doing.

Times employees have taken a 5 percent cut in wages, and you can count on it that the same thing will happen to lots of other papers across the country.

The Register never does anything unless it's been done somewhere else.

The Des Moines paper followed right along when Gannett ordered newsroom employees to take one, then two, furlough weeks [with no pay, of course], then froze wages, too.

The next thing will be pay cuts because, frankly, the newspaper business is getting worse every day.

*

I guess the latest news about cartoonist Brian Duffy didn't get to Biz Buzz at the paper.

Duffy's cartoons are going to start appearing on KCCI, which is a good thing for Duffy and viewers.

Biz Buzz and the rest of the paper ignored the news. Hey, what did you expect from a place that fired Duffy and had him escorted to the door by a security person?

*

I'm starting to think Jim Hendry, general manager of the Chicago Cubs, has brain damage.

I already wondered if he's got swine flu, of course, but he hasn't admitted anything about that.

I'm still trying to figure out why he signed outfielder Milton Bradley to a three-year, $30 million contract in the off-season.

Bradley's batting average is all the way up to .130, and the fans are booing him at Wrigley Field.

Good for the fans. They also can't start booing Hendry soon enough.

*

Maybe they can start booing Paul Sullivan, too.

Sullivan covers the Cubs' games for the Chicago Tribune, and should have been among the 53 newsroom people the paper fired recently.

The Tribune has an accomplished backup reporter in Dave Van Dyck, and would get along just fine by dumping Sullivan's salary and assigning Van Dyck to fulltime coverage duties.

*

Every so often, Register publisher Laura Hollingsworth and other foolish people bring up the idea of maybe charging people to read newspapers online.

That plane has left the airport, gang.

How much money do you think a reader is going to pay to watch video produced by a sportswriter who checked out a camcorder and was ordered by his editor to take movies at a press conference?

Get serious.

*

I continue to be fired-up about that deal struck by the Register and WHO-TV to share news content, what the hell ever that means.

Like I said earlier, I can't wait to see a few Register editors and reporters appearing on channel 13.

The smartest thing the Register did was get that deal going with John Bachman and the channel 13 gang.

The way I look at it, Ed Wilson's weather reports on the back page of the metro section will solve a lot of the paper's problems.

I'm sure Wilson's [Ed is pictured at the left] weather reports are different than those the paper used to use from John McLaughlin of KCCI.

Or are they?

*

Something tells me Bobby Scales isn't the answer to the Chicago Cubs' problems, of which there are many.

Yawn. Sorry, But I'm Not Among the 2 Or 3 People Who Care If Lucca Staiger Plays At ISU Next Season. Don't Forget, Brackins Will Take All the Shots

I guess some people who follow Cyclone basketball -- well, two or three of them anyway, all of whom are central Iowa reporters -- are wondering if Lucca Staiger will be on next season's team, or if he'll be playing in his native Germany.

I'm wondering if anyone should care.

I know I don't.

From what I saw of Staiger [pictured at the right] last season, he wasn't any more dependable than the coach for whom he played.

Staiger could make eight three-pointers against Drake [which he did in a December game that Iowa State lost], but on other nights he couldn't throw the ball into Lake LaVerne.

In a 72-55 loss at Kansas, Staiger went scoreless and missed all four of his field goal attempts from three-point range.

*

Besides, Staiger may not even see the basketball next season -- unless they change the rules and permit two or three of them to be used in a game.

Craig Brackins will take all, or most, of the shots. Count on it.

Brackins didn't say he was coming back for his junior season so he could pass the ball to anyone.

I guess if Brackins doesn't take all the shots, Antwon Oliver will launch one or two.

Antwon Oliver....Cyclone fans have to like that name.

*

Everybody in the central Iowa media is taking credit for having the Staiger story first.

But, really, nobody cares about that stuff these days.

Reporters and their TV stations or newspapers rush to put their upcoming stories on Twitter, Facebook and Verizon text message -- long before those stories are on the tube or in the paper.

Anyway, it looks like as dead heat in this situation.

Courtney Linehan [pictured at the left], sports editor of the Ames Tribune, wrote this about the Staiger situation:

"Lucca Staiger made the media rounds Sunday evening, a day after Iowa State basketball coach Greg McDermott said Staiger was considering leaving Ames to focus his basketball efforts on playing for the German national team. Staiger’s final call of the evening was to the Tribune, and what he said startled even me.

"I admittedly was not in Des Moines this weekend when McDermott told several reporters that Staiger might leave Iowa State. But what I heard from those reporters and from others involved with ISU basketball is that Staiger wanted to concentrate on progressing within the national team program. Talking to him on Sunday evening, however, Staiger clarified two points.

"First, he said that if he did return to Germany or another European country to play, it would not be for any of the reasons we think. Yes, if he goes home Staiger will play for the national team and will play in a professional league across the Atlantic. But he said he is not considering the move because of the opportunities to advance in the national program, or to take home the paycheck of a professional athlete.

"He would do both those things if he went home, but they would not be the reason he’d leave Ames.

"Staiger said he preferred to remain vague about the real reason he might go back to Germany, but added to the list of circumstances that are not driving his decision. Staiger said he has a good relationship with Iowa State coaches and appreciates the support fans have shown him, particularly after the NCAA suspended him for the 2007-08 seasons. He said he is not homesick. He is in good academic standing, and his family members are in good health.

"The second surprise was that Staiger and McDermott have worked out a way that he can finish the entire season with the national team and still remain eligible in the NCAA. McDermott told Staiger on Friday that he would be allowed to return to Germany this summer, where he would play with the A2 and A1 national teams, and remain there until the A1 team’s season ended in the fall. It would require Staiger to miss about a month of first semester, including many of the basketball team’s preseason individual workouts, but sounds like a real possibility. For Staiger, who is very proud of his participation with the national program, it sounded like a step toward a happy median...."

*

Every time I see a column by Charles Krauthammer in the paper, I think of Ken Fuson.

Fuson, of course, is the former Des Moines Register feature writer who, for a short time, wrote a humor column for the paper's op-ed pages.

When he quit authoring the humor column, Fuson wrote that he'd leave the humor writing to people like Charles Krauthammer.

Hell, Charles Krauthammer wouldn't know humor from his pancreas.

*

By the way, Kenny, I think you should go back to the paper.

You're needed.

Bud Appleby Says, 'I Sometimes Think the Register Has Someone On the Payroll Whose Only Job Is To Think Up Things That Will Piss Me Off'

Bud Appleby, a retired Des Moines Register editor and writer, checks in with this e-mail about his former employer:

"It was no surprise to me that the Register was 24 hours (at least) late on the McCoy McLemore story. It is late on a lot of things.

"For instance:

"A guy in Manchester, IA, is accused of cutting a pacemaker out of his father's chest with a pocketknife (tell me that isn’t a news story). That happened on a Saturday, so I'll give the Register a pass on the Sunday paper. But there was also no story on Monday, although it was in newspapers all over the world. (I saw in on newspaper web sites in England and India.)

"The Register finally kissed the thing off with a four-paragraph story on Tuesday, and even then it had to quote the Waterloo Courier for some of its information.

"(I sometimes think they have someone on the payroll down there whose only job is to sit around and think up things they can do that will piss me off. Whoever that is, he is doing a good job.)

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: I had pointed out in a column Saturday that the Register was more than 24 hours late on reporting the death of former Drake basketball standout McCoy McLemore. The other story to which Appleby is referring deals with Delaware county attorney John Bernau saying Jesse Fierstine, 32, struck his father, Charles Fierstine, over the head with a flashlight and a piece of firewood, then cut the pacemaker [illustration at the right] from his chest using a pocketknife [left]. Charles Fierstine, 63, was taken to an Iowa City hospital. Bernau said he doesn't know why Jesse Fierstine attacked his father, but called the alleged crime "very strange." Jesse Fierstine is being held on a $750,000 cash-only bond. A preliminary hearing is scheduled for May 6. He faces up to 25 years in prison on the charge. Matthew Wilde of the Waterloo Courier wrote today that "mental illness may explain why the Manchester man allegedly cut the pacemaker out of his father's chest. Jim Fierstine, Jesse's uncle, and law enforcement say Jesse suffers from bipolar disorder but was not on medication at the time of the incident. Officials said he struggles with reality."]

The Sun Is Out, So Look for Me Behind the Honda In the Lawn, With An Occasional Timeout To See the Kentucky Derby and How Badly the Cubs Are Losing

I'd like to see a college football playoff as much as the next guy, but I don't think congress is the place to take the argument. Congress has a lot more important things to worry about than a football playoff. Before I see any legislation involving a football playoff, I want to see enough money appropriated to find a cure for swine flu, diabetes, heart disease and cancer...After several tries, I got my 10-year-old Honda mower started yesterday, and managed to cut the front lawn. Seeing that the sun is out, I'll do the rest today, with an occasional timeout to see how badly the Cubs are losing to the Florida Marlins and which horse is winning the Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs [pictured at the right]...I always try to see which pony my do-everything [including covering the Barnstormers] friend Dan Johnson thinks will win the Derby, of course. This morning's paper said Johnson's picks were on page 3. I looked on page 3, but found nothing about the Derby. So I kept looking, and found Johnson's form sheet on page 5. It must've been another tough night in the sports deparment...Speaking of tough nights in the sports department, I mentioned earlier in the week that the paper didn't have anything about the Cubs' night games that were played against the Diamondbacks in Arizona. Then I was told that the editors need to have stories by 11:10 p.m. to get them into the next morning's paper. That's what I call ridiculous...Speaking of swine flu, Dave Van Dyck of the Chicago Tribune reports that the Cubs' medical staff is "educating [players] the best we can" about swine flu. We've had a couple of simple meetings about washing your hands, cleanliness, all the recommendations you've heard about," trainer Mark O'Neal said...The chance of getting swine flu is the least of the Cubs' problems. Somebody needs to teach them how to hit and catch...A guy wonders if Mike Gartner of Cityview is jealous of the Register for getting that deal with WHO-TV/channel 13 involving news content. Gartner, intrigued by a newspaper-film-videotape tie-in, apparently wants to show old home movies on 8 mm film on a projector at the Cub Club at No-Name Ballfield. Gartner would promote the movies in his Civic Skinny column...It's good to know that the Register finally found out, more than 24 hours late, that former Drake basketball player McCoy McLemore died. I'm always glad to help 'em out down there. Here's something else they can put in the paper: Memorial services for McLemore will be held at 3 p.m. Sunday at Brighton Church, 11925 Southwest Freeway in Stafford, TX...Chuck Schoffner [pictured at the left] and his wife, Pam, have a new blog called Schoffner.com. Chuck was the longtime [more than 26 years] Associated Press sports editor in Iowa, but left when his bosses ordered so many cutbacks that he wondered if he was still a sportswriter. Schoffner also wrote sports blogs for the Des Moines Register for a short time, until the bosses there decided they'd rather have their fulltimers do blogs -- in addition to everything else they're assigned to do, including shooting videotape at sports events. Evidently, Schoffner wants to continue working. In his blog, he says under, "What's been keeping him busy: Writing sample chapters of a book about Joe Black, first African American pitcher to win a World Series game; covering Iowa sports for newspapers and wire service distribution; writing stories for a local corporation's state newspaper about alternative energy and high school wrestling." Under "services," Schoffner writes that he's available to also provide "coverage of athletic events (press conferences, pre-game stories, features, game stories and statistics, event follow-up, Feature writing of stories on non-athletic topics for print and electronic media, including travel writing."

McCoy McLemore Helped Put Drake Basketball On the National Stage; Mark Robinson Recalls His 'Incredible Dunk' In the Bulldogs' 1964 Game He Saw On TV

Names such as Willie McCarter, Dolph Pulliam and Willie Wise are more prominent in the Maury John basketball legacy at Drake, but a player who shouldn't be overlooked is McCoy McLemore.

McLemore, 67, died of complications of cancer late last week in Houston, TX, and it's somewhat unfortunate that he isn't as well-known around here today as McCarter, Pulliam, Wise, Don Draper, Rick Wanamaker and others who played for John's Drake teams later.

McCarter, Pulliam and Wise had their jerseys and numbers retired this past season by Drake. McLemore's wasn't.

McLemore, after all, was an outstanding player -- one of the best Drake has ever had. He was the Bulldogs' leading scorer and rebounder in both the 1962-63 and 1963-64 seasons, then went on to a standout National Basketball Association career with a number of teams.

Actually, the 6-7, 235-pound McLemore was a huge reason Drake made its first trip to the national stage in 1964.

John's Bulldogs tied for the Missouri Valley Conference championship with Ralph Miller's Wichita State team. Both had 10-2 records, but Wichita State kept the Bulldogs from going to the NCAA tournament by beating them, 58-50, in a playoff game at Lawrence, Kan.

So Drake went to the NIT, which then was played in its entirety at Madison Square Garden in New York City.

Drake defeated Pittsburgh, 87-82, in its first game, but lost to New Mexico, 65-60, in its second game.

The Bulldogs' 21-7 record is still the fourth-best in school history. Included were two victories over Iowa State [one in Ames, the other in Des Moines], one over Georgetown, one over Purdue, two over Bradley and one over Cincinnati.

However, the McCarter-Pulliam-Wise-Draper-Wanamaker team of 1968-69 received much more glory because it became the only Drake team to ever go to the Final Four.

*

A man who vividly recalls McCoy McLemore is Mark Robinson of Iowa City.

When he read the story here of McLemore's death, he sent me this e-mail:

"Hello, Ron;

"I had to comment on the death of former Drake great McCoy McLemore.

"I was a 9-year-old lad who was lucky enough to be watching a Drake basketball game on TV in 1964. What I saw stayed with me. It was intense and, as a youngster, I wondered if I could or should ever try to play the game. It was a ridiculous display of talent and it is one of those things that impressionable young people take away as a defining moment.

"McLemore stole the ball on the far court and drove down court and threw down the most incredible dunk--just the most intense dunk--I have ever seen.

"Perhaps it was the fact that I was 9 years old that it seemed more incredible than it really was.

"I don't think so. The guy was galloping and flushed it like I never have seen since.

"Regarding the continuing saga of naked restaurants photos, I have a suggestion for the Register. A photo of the chef or the owner, or both, outside the business with their sign in full view would be appealing to readers. The first thing I learned in the newspaper biz was that it's people you want in the photos, unless you're Bob Modersohn. Then you can get a five-column photo of a cow in a field published. Now really, Bob is my favorite photographer of all time and the Register in those days was brilliant with the art they published on a daily basis. And I mean really brilliant.

"Keep writing,"

Mark Robinson
Iowa City

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: First of all, Mark, you had to consider yourself lucky to be able to see the telecast of a Drake basketball game in 1964. Drake appearances on TV were rare in those days but, as I pointed out in the text above, it took people like Maury John and McCoy McLemore to put the Bulldogs on the national stage. And you're on target with your mention of Bob Modersohn, one of the best photographers I've ever known. The guy is a real artist. That's one of his photos at the right, courtesy of 2 Modes.com. As for the empty restaurants series of photos the Register keeps publishing, I've just about given up hope that the editors will get some people in the pictures. It's so ridiculous now that I think they stage those people-free pictures on purpose].

*

I wish Jim Rosborough the best now that his ties with the University of Arizona have been cut [see the column on the right side of the page].

I got to know Rosborough well when he was on Lute Olson's basketball coaching staff at Iowa, and I corresponded occasionally with him after he and Olson went to Arizona.

Rosborough was a tremendously loyal member of Olson's staff. Indeed, he was much more loyal to Olson than Olson was to him.

It was incredible that Olson saw a need to replace Rosborough as an assistant coach a couple of years ago.

But I'm glad the university kept him employed in a fund-raising capacity afterward.

Good luck in whatever you do in the future, Jim.