On a recent Chicago Cubs telecast, during which Lou Piniella's losers were doing everything good teams don't do, commentator Bob Brenly said something like, "All of you Little Leaguers who have been watching can turn off your TVs now."
Brenly [pictured at the right] is a former major league manager -- his Arizona Diamondbacks once won a World Series -- and it's got to pain him to see some of the ridiculous things Piniella's overpaid players do on the field.
Like yesterday when rightfielder Milton Bradley didn't have his head in the game and threw the ball into the bleachers after the second out in the Minnesota Twins' eighth inning.
Because of some other misdeeds that Little Leaguers wouldn't have let happen, many in a crowd of 41,509 had been booing Bradley before that idiotic play, and may have been booing him all night.
Bradley and a number of other Cubs are masters at disregarding fundamentals that baseball purists insist will get you more losses than victories.
In addition to not being able to count, the Cubs can't hit behind runners, can't hit period, can't bunt, think the hit-and-run is something you do with your car, can't throw to the right base from the outfield, can't steal a base, don't know how to execute a squeeze play, don't take pitches and swing at everything out of the strike zone.
All they're good at is robbing their fans. Those thousands of people who flock to Wrigley Field 81 times a year should have their heads examined.
One thing they can be sure of is that Bradley won't be in the line ahead of them. His head is unfixable.
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An e-mail from Craig Maltby of Clive:
"Well, Ron, I knew it was a matter of time before my starstruck reflections would get updated (or upbraided) by a cold dose of 'the rest of the story.'
"I guess I can only say that Barry Switzer's no different than Britney Spears, Larry Eustachy, Susan Boyle or Ramona Cunningham. Once someone rises from modest means to breathe the rarefied air of fame, adulation or big money, they can easily spin out of control.
"Of course, great performers can also maintain a high...er...strong ethical and moral position, too. I don't defend Switzer. I do defend still being a sap for a great story, even if it goes off the tracks."
Craig S. Maltby, APR
[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: If you've been reading these columns, you know by now that Maltby and Mark Robinson of Iowa City have been writing in recent days about Switzer, the retired Oklahoma and Dallas Cowboys football coach. I thank both Maltby and Robinson for writing, and I both hope and expect that I hear from them again in the future].
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I was happy to see the Register's sports editor pounce on that "umpire-ejects-fans-in-high-school-game" story so he could get it in the paper 24 hours after the Burlington Hawk Eye had it originally.
Matt Levins' story in the Hawk Eye has been on the right side of this page since late yesterday afternoon.
There are several reasons why it's always a good idea for the Register's sports editor to leap on such a story, and try to get another angle or two: 1. He gets his version of the story on page 1 of the general news section because those who lay out the page think he might have a scoop. That was not the case in this situation, however; 2. he remains in good standing with his bosses, who think their guy is on top of everything; 3. Readers don't have to wait until Sunday to see the story in the hard-hitting "In the Loop."
