This might be the last straw.
The St. Louis Cardinals dealing for Mark DeRosa, I mean.
DeRosa, you'll recall is the former do-everything player for the Chicago Cubs.
An insane Jim Hendry [he's the Cubs' general manager] traded DeRosa [pictured at the left] to the Cleveland Indians in the off-season for a couple of minor league garbage-bin pitchers.
Anyway, I was watching the Cubs' latest exercise in futility last night against St. Louis on the Cardinals' TV network.
I heard Al Hrabosky [speaking of insanity] and Dan McLaughlin, the announcers, talk about how they'd like to see the versatile DeRosa playing for the Cardinals.
Now, wouldn't that be a kick in the head!
DeRosa -- who definitely is on the trading block -- coming back to the National League and playing for the Cubs' biggest rivals would be a very bad thing.
DeRosa is hitting only .253 and has six home runs, but I'm sure his average would jump to 353 and and he'd become a homer machine once he got to St. Louis.
Obviously, he'd like to stick it to the Cubs every chance he gets. He can play any infield or outfield position, and would likely become the Cardinals' starting third baseman immediately.
The only thing that might hold up a DeRosa-to-the-Cardinals deal is the player's $5.5million salary.
St. Louis likes to pay its players the minimum wage, which is in the $6-an-hour neighborhood.
So we'll see what happens.
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By the way, the fact that Dan McLaughlin says there could be a chance for a Mark DeRosa-to-St. Louis deal actually means very little.
McLaughlin's accuracy was tested during the winter when he announced Missouri Valley Conference basketball games with Mac McCausland of Waterloo/Cedar Falls.
McLaughlin continually referred to McCausland as "a star on basketball teams at Iowa."
Hey, McCausland was barely on the team at Iowa. He never earned a letter.
So take anything McLaughlin says with a grain of salt.
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I posted this message on Twitter: "$140 million doesn't buy as much as it used to--and the horrible Cubs are proof of it."
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Mike Fontenot of the Cubs is in a 2-for-39 funk for the Cubs. Manager Lou Piniella [pictured at the right with a friend] thinks he might bench him. Fontenot should've been benched two weeks ago. Actually, I think both Fontenot and Piniella should be benched.
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What I can't figure out is how nearly a half-dozen Cubs can be in batting slumps at the same time.
Milton Bradley, the three-year, $30 million bust, is hitting .184; Fontenot is hitting .195, Geovany Soto [last season's rookie of the year] is hitting .206, Derrek Lee is hitting .239 and Alfonso Soriano is hitting .265.
Where's Abner Doubleday. I need an explanation.
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I joked yesterday about if, and how, the Register was going to handle news of the death of 87-year-old Bob Spiegel, who worked 19 years for the old Des Moines Tribune before going on to greener pastures.
I said sports editor Bryce Miller and his gang would swing into action the minute they read on the right side of my page that Spiegel had died early this week.
It turned out that the words "swing into action" were much too strong. People at the paper wound up rewriting Drake sports information director Mike Mahon's news release on Spiegel's death.
All they used were three paragraphs. Indeed, someone there should have called people at Drake and people who worked with Spiegel at the Tribune [one or two might still be living] to do a decemt obituary on a guy who was a heavy hitter in the news and sports fields.
After all, Spiegel wrote five books on Drake track and basketball, and attended a whopping 64 Drake Relays.
Oh, well.
Maybe there'll be more in the hard-hitting "In the Loop" on Sunday. Or possibly when "Tweets to the Editor" -- whenever that starts.
I can't wait.
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A guy who visits the sportswriters' lunch occasionally sent me this e-mail:
"That was quite a number you did on Washburn. The Register has indeed gone to pot. Pots are used in cookbooks, right?
"Last week more than 12,000 people at Notre Dame hailed Obama with applause, cheers and standing ovations. The next morning's Page One in The Register featured a picture of 39 protestors. Way to go, Washburn."
The guy closed by asking what a certain regular at the sportswriters' lunches was pissed off about lately.
"Everything," I told him.
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The reference to "Washburn" by my e-mail friend concerned not so much Perry Washburn, but more the missus.
The missus is Carolyn Washburn, the Register's editor.
Perry has a new pizza cookbook on the market, and I figure I've helped him sell a ton of books by giving him all this pub in my columns.
I also heard from Craig Maltby, who wrote to me on Twitter: "I had one of Perry Washburn's pizzas at his house a while back. BBQ chicken and carmelzed onions, if I recall. Outstanding fare."
Sounds great, Craig. I expect to be invited to the house any day now.
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Tim Griffin of ESPN.com writes, "Even in the face of a struggling economy, the Big 12 Conference's economics are showing robust growth. Big 12 officials say the conference will distribute a record $130 million among its member schools from the 2008-09 fiscal year.
[EDITOR'S NOTE, the editor being Ron Maly: This is especially good news for Iowa State].
"The figure, announced on the final day of the Big 12's annual spring meetings in Colorado Springs, is more than 14.5 percent better than last year's previous record disbursement of $113.5 million."
Good for the Big 12.
Griffin also wrote that the league continues to look for other ways to save money:
"future Big 12 meetings could be conducted through the use of video conferencing to help defray costs. Among [other] areas that were mentioned for possible cost savings include the elimination of non-traditional playing seasons in sports such as baseball and volleyball; ceasing foreign travel for teams and all-star squads; doing away with regional track and field championships; and the elimination of printed media guides."
I see no further need for preseason get-togethers of football and basketball coaches, players, sportswriters and sportscasters in such places as Houston, Oklahoma City, Dallas and Kansas City.
All that can be done with teleconferencing. That would enable a Register reporter to sit in his office at 8th & Locust and get all the interviews he [or she] needs.
That way, maybe the laying off of the writer can be delayed by a month or so.
That's a good idea on press guides, too. They've become basically recruiting tools anyway in recent years.
