'If the Bank Treated You This Way After Making a $4,000 Deposit, What Do You Think They'd Have Done Had You Withdrawn That Amount?'

Readers are checking in with comments about my interesting experience [to say the least] earlier this week at the Regions Bank, pictured at the top at 3334 Westown Parkway in West Des Moines.

If you recall, I had just deposited more than $4,000 into one of my accounts. As I was headed toward the exit, I was stopped by an assistant manager, who mispronounced my name and told me she didn't want me coming into the bank anymore wearing a baseball-type cap and sunglasses.

I knew why. I guess.

The bank had been held up -- maybe at gunpoint -- at least once in recent months, and people were obviously nervous.

Bank employees certainly don't want just anybody wearing a Guinness cap and tinted prescription glasses walking in to make a sizable deposit, do they?

After reading what I wrote about the situation yesterday, George Wine and Chuck Offenburger e-mailed me with comments.

In a message titled, "You Can Bank On It," Wine [pictured at the right] -- a retired sports information director at the University of Iowa -- wrote:

"If the bank treated you this way after making a $4,000 deposit, what do you think they'd have done had you withdrawn that amount?"

I don't know, George, but it wouldn't have been pretty.

Offenburger [pictured at the left], a longtime Internet and newspaper columnist, wrote in an e-mail titled "Suspicious Person In Bank:"

Mr. MAY-lee,

"Hurrah! It's high time SOMEBODY tried to do something about the way you sportswriters dress."

Chuck O.

Well, Chuck, I'll tell you this. The next time you're ready to go inside a bank, check the signs on the front door.

One of them might inform you of the dress code.

Like I wrote the other day, leave your ballcap and dark glasses at home or in the car.

*

I received another e-mail from the retiree who was critical of sportswriter Randy Peterson and the Des Moines Register for writing too much about Iowa tailback Shonn Greene being a Heisman Trophy candidate:

"Ron, I'm sorry that in my haste to get a note off to you, I fear I did not get Randy Peterson's name correct. I fear that Randy has fallen into the same style that Maury White often used. Randy decides after two decent games that Greene is Heisman material. And, horrors, will Greene jump to the pros after this season or return next year as a Hawkeye? The laugh for me is that anyone could think that a guy who had to quit school because he was flunking out would consider not jumping to the pros because he wants a college degree. Give me a break. You will recall that Maury constantly tried to tie nicknames to college teams. He never forgot the magic of 'Ironmen' or 'Dirty Thirty.' I think he tried 'Fabulous Few' His worst was his Friday or Saturday advance on the 1977 Iowa-Iowa State football game, the first renewal in about 30 years. You'll recall, perhaps, he called it 'Sic-em.' Which he translated to be State Intercollegiate Contest, eminently macho. That died a quick death, as did Bob Commings' line after Iowa beat Penn State, 'Chosen Children.' Meanwhile, let's just play the games."

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Shonn Greene is not going to win the Heisman Trophy this season.is This is The Year Of the Quarterback. Hmmm, come to think of it, Maury White, the former Register sports columnist who now is in the big press box in the sky, would've would've liked that comment!]

*

After writing yesterday about Craig J. Carrozzi's book, City 'Scapes, I heard from Jeff Valadez of Bend, Ore.:

"Hey Ron, I'll pass along your comments to Craig, I'm sure he'll appreciate it! And perhaps he'll contribute to the blog, he has quitethe sharp wit and a broad knowledge of sports.

"Well, hope the Hawkeyes have made good use of the bye week and are rested and ready for the Illini.

"Cheers,"

Jeff

[RON MALY'S COMMENT: Jeff, I'd welcome anything Craig wants to write].

Welcome To Our Bank, But Next Time Leave Your Cap & Sunglasses In the Car

The whole thing started innocently enough.

I thought.

The midweek sportswriters' lunch, where I dined on lightly-fried tofu with mixed vegetables in brown sauce, steamed rice, two crab rangoons and lots of Chinese tea, was over.

The guys in our group had all gone their separate ways on a very nice October afternoon.

I wanted to make a couple of stops before I went home.

I went to the Post Office to buy a book of postage stamps, and picked the Walt Disney variety that have pictures of Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Cinderella and the rest of the gang on them.

Then I went to one of my banks in West Des Moines, where I've done business for 15 years or so.

My job was to deposit a check for more than $4,000 into one of my accounts, and I figured that would make the folks working in the bank happy.

Desposits are always better than withdrawals as far as a banker is concerned, right?

I signed my name to the back of the check and took it up to Miss Smiley Face behind the counter.

As I usually do whenever I do any business at a bank, I put my Iowa driver's license -- my new, 2-year license that's issued to people who are...well, let's put it this way...a bit more mature than some of the others who qualify for 5-year licenses these days -- on the counter, along with the check and the deposit slip.

Everything was going well.

Miss Smiley Face gave me my receipt, then said, "Is there anything else I can help you with today?"

"No, that takes care of it," I said. "It's beautiful day out there, so I hope you get to enjoy some of it."

As I headed to the door of the bank so I could walk back to my car, I heard my name -- or at least a version of my name -- being called.

Since I was the only customer in the place, I figured somebody wanted me to stop.

"Mr. MAY-Lee! Mr. MAY-Lee!" a stern female voice dressed in business clothing said.

The plump woman reminded me of one of my seventh-grade teachers. She sounded like one of them, too.

You must understand that being called Mr. MAY-Lee didn't surprise me one bit.

Even though my name is supposed to be pronounced as though it were spelled Malley -- "like O'Malley without the 'O'," I tell people -- it's often pronounced MAY-Lee because there's just one "L" in Maly.

It doesn't bother me. I've come to expect it.

Anyway, I whirled around when I heard the second "Mr. MAY-Lee" from the schoolmarm-type woman.

"Yes?" I said.

"I'm the assistant manager of the bank," she said. "Maybe you didn't see the sign we have posted on the door, but I would like to ask a favor of you.

"Would you please not wear a cap or sunglasses the next time you're in this bank."

I was wearing a black baseball cap with the word and numbers "Guinness, 1759" on the front, and dark glasses.

They weren't sunglasses; they were tinted prescription glasses. I wear the blue version and the gray versions much of the time. I'm in the blue ones in the photo on the left side of this page.

As for the rest of my clothing, I was wearing navy blue sweatpants, a dark gray crewneck sweatshirt, a black, insulated sleeveless vest, patterned flannel boxer underwear shorts, gray socks and some Sketchers sports shoes I had bought for our trip to California last summer, and of which I'm kind of proud.

With that attire, I fit right in at our sportswriters' lunch at the Oriental restaurant.

When you take a look at the way I showed up at the bank in the photo at the right, don't you think I come across as your Uncle Charlie who likes to go on fishing trips to Minnesota? Or the guy you see at the hardware store on Saturday morning? Or the grandpa at the soccer and Little League baseball games?

Now, at the bank, my brain suddenly began working overtime.

I recalled that this bank had been held up at least once in recent months.

Maybe even at gunpoint.

I tried to not sound unhappy when I got stopped.

"I know why you're saying those things to me," I told the woman impersonating my seventh-grade teacher.

"And I also know my picture is probably being taken by a hidden camera right now, so I'm going to smile."

"Thank you. You're right," Seventh-Grade Teacher said.

When I got outdoors, I looked at the sign on the door. It said the bank didn't want customers wearing caps or sunglasses unless we wore them "for medical reasons."

That's nice.

I spent the rest of the day thinking about the incident at the bank, and obviously I'm still thinking about it now.

I mentioned it to one of my daughters-in-law this morning.

I said the assistant manager at the bank wanted me to do her a favor.

"Did she want you to autograph one of your books for her?" my daughter-in-law asked.

That's happened at other places before.

"Not this time," I said.

Then I told her the rest of the story.

"Will that make a difference on whether you continue doing business at that bank?" she asked.

"Maybe," I said.

*

Bank cartoon courtesy of www.CartoonStock.com

That Empty Feeling. Again

I can't help but feel sorry for the management at Zuzap's restaurant [pictured at the left].

The Des Moines Register put another picture in Datebook, showing an empty dining room.

It was the latest in a series of photos of vacant restaurants. I'm partial to Thai food, so the sight of Zuzap's empty seats was particularly distressing.

The only good thing about the layout was that John Gaps took his usual outstanding photo.

*

On another subject, somebody was wondering on Twitter why there wasn't any advance publicity on the National Press Club meeting that was held at Drake University.

I provided a quick answer.

The reason no one in the media paid attention to the meeting that was supposed to tackle problems in journalism was because, first, there are some parts of newspapering that can't be saved and, second, Mike Gartner was on the panel.

The whole deal lost any credibility it might have had once Gartner was added to the group.

Gartner was fired by both NBC News and the Register.

*

Anybody still send letters? I mean the old-fashioned kind.

If so, you can have some fun by using stamps with Walt Disney characters on them [pictured at the right]. I just bought more of 'em at the Post Office.

An 'Absorbing' Baseball Book

If they ever get the week-long fifth game of the World Series completed, the 2008 baseball season may end.

Then, again, it may not end. If Tampa Bay wins tonight's weather-delayed game that resumes in the sixth inning, the Series will move to Florida for one or two more nights.

Before that happens, though, I'd like to thank my friend Jeff Valadez of Bend, Ore., for sending me a copy of the book City 'Scapes [the cover is pictured at the right] that was written by Craig J. Carrozzi.

Billed as "a fan's eye view of of the game," City 'Scapes is a book that a critic says is "an absorbing piece of historical fiction, an easy page-turner of a young boy's first look at a major league baseball game.

"In all," Art Rosenbaum of the San Francisco Chronicle wrote, "the entire story encompasses a few hours, and yet, it spans generations of baseball lore, urban ethnicity, the possessive instincts of fans to the home team and turs, the gaps of youth and age...in sum, the gamut of human behavior."

On the "about the author" page at the front of the book, it says that Carrozzi "was born in San Francisco in 1955. He grew up in a time and place -- late '50s and '60s in San Francisco's Mission District, the historic heart of the city -- of economic dislocation and social, ethnic and political conflict and torment. This time and place hss shaped many of the attitudes and provided some of the characters for this work.

"[Carrozzi] studied socieology and creative writing at the University of Southern California and California State University, Hayward. He took his degree in 1978 and joined the Peace Corps. He worked at a Colombian juvenile prison, running a recreation program and supervising a construction project for a youth center.

"After finishing his Peace Corps service, he moved to Salvador de Bahia, Brazil, and began to write...

"In 1988, he founded Southern Trails Publishing and brought out his first full-length work, Wedding Of the Waters..."

Rosenbaum writes that "Carrozzi has taken an actual game, Giants vs. Reds, July 6, 1961, and reproduced a city's affection in neat story form..."

The 176-page paperback book sells for $8.95 and is well worth it.

Thank you, Jeff Valadez, for sending a copy to me.

*

I'll bet the folks in the newsroom at the Des Moines Register -- and maybe even the Iowa City Press-Citizen -- are showing up with fire in their bellies and up their asses today, eager as hell to start tackling their next writing or editing assignment.

Sure.

If there was still an Office Lounge across the alley in downtown Des Moines, that's where those Register folks would be headed.

Not this afternoon or tonight.

This morning.

After word began spreading nationally yesterday that the Gannett Co. was planning a 10 percent cut in its newspaper staffs in its papers across the nation -- with the exception of USA Today -- somebody woke up Register publisher Laura Hollingsworth from her snooze to tell her she'd better say something about it.

Finally, it says in the paper, Hollingsworth told employees in an e-mail that she couldn't say what the layoffs will mean to the Register. But she does know that the cuts will come in the first week of December.

Just in time for Christmas shopping and other holiday plans.

So before you guys and gals down there at 8th & Locust schedule much for the last month of the year, check with your department head to see if he or she still knows your name, or is even speaking to you.

If he or she tells you to set up another online chat with somebody to talk about Iowa football, try to get some assurance that you'll still be on the payroll when the bowl game is played.

The fun is just starting.

And, remember, even if you survive the next layoff, there'll be another one right around the corner.

*

Andrew Logue wrote in today's paper that people in the Missouri Valley Conference don't think the league gets enough basketball respect.

Here we go again.

Well, let me say this to you.

The Valley didn't think it was getting enough respect 40 years ago when Maury John was getting ready to coach a Drake team that went to the Final Four, either.

All those Bulldogs did was almost upset John Wooden's UCLA team in the first game of the Final Four, then clobbered Dean Smith's North Carolina team, 104-84, in the consolation game.

Nobody talked respect, or the lack of it, then.

Don't worry about it now, Bulldog fans.

Things like that take care of themselves.

*

An e-mail from a retired newspaperman:

"Ron, can you rein in Randy Peterson and his Heisman talk about Shonn Greene?"

I've been trying, folks. Like I wrote the other day, I'm blaming Peterson's boss at the paper for the horrible overload of stuff about Iowa's Greene.

I think the boss picked up some kind of disease in China and has now flipped out. He suddenly requires his department to crank out one or more stories every day on Greene.

Frankly, I'm sick of it, too.

*

Even though a doctor [Steven D. Knope, who is shown in the Associated Press photo at the left with Jody Brase, one of Lute Olson's daughters] says Olson has had a stroke, and that's why he abruptly ended his collegiate coaching career last week, some people continue to think old Silver Top has other problems.

Lute-watchers say he has a palsy that might be Parkinson's Disease, and he can no longer hide it. They add that Olson doesn't want to level with the Arizona fans about the condition.

I've noticed during games on TV that Olson is shaking, and not just because UCLA and other teams were beating him.

*

An e-mail from Jay Davidson:

"Hi, Ron,

"Just a couple notes on [yesterday's] column: On your piece about Tyrone W -- you know those $1 payoffs don't buy what they used to!

"Some of us ARE watching the World Serious, as Satchel Paige called it. It was ridiculous to play [Monday] night's game. What could Selig do to liven up things, raffle off cars between innings? Baseball has made too many mistakes over the past 15 years and has lost too many fans for good. There are too many teams and too little loyalty all around. But some of us still care about the game itself.

"So sorry to hear about Lute's reason for retiring. I had figured something like a stroke must have been the reason for his erratic behavior over the past year. No matter what one thinks of him [and I personally always respected him and the programs he ran], one must empathize with him and all those close to him."

"My best,"

Jay Davidson

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: My thanks to Jay. He's a sharp-eyed reader, and he noticed that I left out the word million when I wrote what fired football coach Tyrone Willingham's buyout is at Washington. The original version came out $1 buyout! And, Jay, I'm glad you're watching the Serious. That makes two of us].

*

The Milwaukee Brewers claimed third baseman Casey McGehee off waivers from the Chicago Cubs and placed him on their 40-man roster.

It's no loss to the Cubs. I saw McGehee in the playoffs, and he can't hit major league pitching

Hell, if Chicago's regular third baseman, Aramis Ramirez, keeps hitting the way he did in the playoffs, the Brewers can have him, too. It turned out Ramirez couldn't handle big league pitching after the regular season ended, either.

McGehee, 26, was a 10th-round draft pick in 2003 by the Cubs out of Fresno State. He played this year at class AAA No-Name Ballteam in Des Moines, where he batted .296 with 30 doubles, 12 home runs and 92 RBIs in 133 games.

Firing a Football Coach In October

Getting back to the pressures involved with collegiate athletics, Part I...

Tyrone Willingham [pictured at the right] was had already been told that his services as the University of Washington's football coach won't be needed after this season.

And this is still October.

At least Iowa and Iowa State used to wait until November to tell a Frank Lauterbur, a Bob Commings, a Jim Criner and a Jim Walden to start packing.

Yes, with an 0-7 record this year and losses in 13 of his last 15 home games, Willingham's bosses have informed him that he'll be out of work when the season ends five weeks from now.

Actually, Washington didn't wait until after the team's 33-7 loss last week to Notre Dame [Tyrone's previous employer] to tell him he was through.

After the Huskies lost to Oregon State on Oct. 18, he got the bad news.

My question: Why wouldn't it be better to tell Willingham he's through immediately?

You and I know Willingham, who took the Washington job after being fired at Notre Dame, won't be giving the Huskies maximum effort the rest of the season -- certainly not emotionally. After all, he's got to be trying to get another job.

It would have been smarter for the athletic director to name one of the coordinators the interim coach for the rest of the season so Willingham could get on with his coaching career and his life.

Incidentally, there's a limit to how much all of us can feel sorry for Willingham. He's getting a $1 million buyout at Washington.

*

A guy who will get some mention as Washington's new coach is Missouri's Gary Pinkel.

Of course, that will be after Iowa's Kirk Ferentz tells Washington he's not interested.

Everybody knows it's not an official collegiate or professional football job search unless Ferentz is asked if he wants it.

*

Coaching Pressure, Part II...

Lute Olson's resignation as the basketball coach at Arizona has caused three recruits who aren't yet on the campus to say they're not coming to the university.

Abdul Gaddy, Solomon Hill and Mike Moser say they'll look elsewhere now that Olson has retired. Now Arizona has no players committed for the November signing period.

Arizona could also lose juniors Chase Budinger and Jordan Hill to the NBA draft after this season.

Sounds like a great situation for the Wildcats' next coach.

*

A guy asked me when the word "young" won't precede talk of an Iowa State basketball team?

"When players stop being tossed off the team or quitting before their eligibility expires," I answered.

*

I wonder how many times Cyclone coach Greg McDermott [pictured at the left] thinks back to how nice things were when he was at Northern Iowa.

Those were the days when he coached against Drake and Iowa State, and actually won the games.

*

I mean, whatever became of Hilton Magic?

*

The same guy who wondered about the "young" Cyclones also asked if I thought McDermott is in over his head at Iowa State.

Who, me?

*

It's easy to be an optimistic whenever Iowa plays a football game against a team coached by Ron Zook.

Thank goodness Zook is now at Illinois, where the Hawkeyes play a 2:30 p.m. game Saturday.

Statistic: Illinois opponents have thrown 174 consecutive passes without an interception. The Illini have three interceptions for the season and only one by a defensive back.

*

They're excited in the sports department of the paper.

Because of the suspension due to rain last night, Wednesday night's fifth game of the World Series could last just 3 1/2 innings. Maybe even 3, if the Phillies are ahead after the top of the ninth.

Consequently, there's a chance -- well, a 50-50 chance anyway -- the editors can get the results of the game in the city edition.

*

People are asking why they even allowed last night's World Series game to start.

It was raining, it was miserably cold, it was windy.

Hey, Bud Selig, the baseball commissioner/used car salesman, is just trying to get the season over, I say.

Nobody is watching the games on TV anyway.

Indeed, one of those TV ratings outfits called my home last night, and the guy said, "You're not watching the World Series, are you?"

*

It looks like somebody named Ken Macha, who used to manage Oakland, will be the Milwaukee Brewers' next skipper.

I think Bob Brenly, one of the Cubs' TV announcers, would be a better choice.

I like it when guys come out of the TV booth to call the shots on the field.

*

An Illinois linebacker is quoted in the paper as saying this about Iowa's Shonn Greene:

"He's a baller."

I think I'll leave that that one alone until somebody gives me further explanation of the meaning.

Obviously, they're using some terminology in football these days that I haven't heard before.

*

I'm just glad they're keeping the boss happy by getting at least one story a day, maybe even two, in the paper on Shonn Greene.

*

Update on Grand View's first-year football program:

The Vikings take a 1-7 record into Saturday's home game against Waldorf. They've lost seven straight.

Basketball isn't far away.

*

More dynamite stuff in Biz Buzz this morning -- especially the part about Des Moines being a friendly town.

*

Photos courtesy of Google and the Associated Press.

Let's Put Some Oomph! Into the World Series Telecasts

There are several items that deserve my attention as I try to decide whether the world is going to survive now that the blockbuster Workbytes column has evidently been dumped permanently from my Monday morning Des Moines newspaper.

*

WHERE'S IOWA ALUM HARRY KALAs WHEN WE NEED HIM?

The first concerns a couple of posts I saw on Twitter last night while the the Phillies moved closer to the World Series title with a 10-2 demolition of Tampa Bay.

A guy from Harrisburg, Pa., named Daniel Victor was writing to people [among them, I think, was Steve Buttry, editor of the Cedar Rapids Gazette] about the crack Fox-TV announcing team of Joe Buck and Tim McCarver.

"That may have been the biggest HR in Phillies history, and Joe Buck gave it all the emotion of Harry Doyle in spring training. Gimme Kalas," Victor wrote of the description of Phillies' pitcher Joe Blanton's blast.

And later...

"Doesn't this announcing team make you appreciate Harry Kalas even more? I'd be enjoying this 100x more with him calling it."

That got me thinking.

Since Joe Buck always acts like he'd rather be at a pro football game instead of the World Series and Tim McCarver can't think of much to say other than the time he spent as a St. Louis Cardinals catcher, maybe baseball should use hometown announcers for the playoffs and World Series games.

I, too, would rather listen to Harry Kalas [pictured at the top of this column] do the play-by-play on the World Series games in Philadelphia.

Kalas is a Hall of Fame announcer who studied broadcasting at the University of Iowa. He's the guy with the deep sounds who does the voice-over for NFL film shows on the tube, and he's been doing Phillies' games for a hundred years or so.

I'm thinking he'd put more emotion into a Joe Blanton home run than Buck, who hasn't paid much attention to baseball since he quit doing his 10 games a year on the Cardinals' network.

I mean, wouldn't it have been fantastic to have the Cubs' announcers doing the playoffs instead of the underwhelming, ridiculous Dick Stockton and Ron Darling?

Len Kasper, the Cubs' play-by-play TV announcer, isn't exactly Mr. Excitement, but I'd have appreciated commentator Bob Brenly's comments when Alfonso Soriano kept striking out.

Kasper and Brenly saw the Cubs all season. Stockton and Darling acted like they came from Mars.

World Series TV ratings are at all-time lows. Baseball commissioner/used car salesman Bud Selig should do something to liven up the telecasts.

*

THE TRAGEDY IN BALLTOWN

I heard from Chet of Cherokee, not his real name, a guy who gets to eastern Iowa quite a bit:

"Hi, Ron,

"I read what you wrote about the tragic fire at Breitbach's Restaurant. I just ate lunch there about three weeks ago with some of my family. The place looked great and the food was very good. The place was packed and there were several tour buses there. This time of year they were always especially busy because people go to the area to see the fall colors and the spectacular view over the Mississippi. I was shocked when my sister sent me an e-mail saying she heard it had burned down again. I had eaten there a few times before it burned the first time. It was quite a unique place so I was happy that they rebuilt it. Now I wonder about it's future if they will rebuild again. I would have thought they would have incorporated alarms, sprinklers, and other fire resistant things when they rebuilt it this year. I remember eating at the Lark, too, one time. Wasn't that Bobby Knight's favorite place?

"You mentioned baseball in Balltown. Back in the 50's, 60's and 70's my hometown had a very good independant amateur team. Their home games in the early days would draw as many as 2.500 people. They often played teams from Dyersville, Cascade, and other northeast Iowa towns. Seems like someone said they also played some teams from southwestern Wisconsin at Balltown. I know several people that played on that team so I'll ask them sometime if that's true. The ball diamond is still there right behind the restaurant [or where the restaurant used to be] and very near the edge of the ridge that Balltown is built on. They said balls hit over the fence would simply roll down the cliff and be lost."

Chet of Cherokee

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: The photo at the left was how Breitbach's looked before the recent fire. The photo at the right was how it looked afterward. What a shame. Thanks, Chet, for your recollections of the restaurant and your memories of baseball games in Balltown. I had mentioned in a previous column that photographer Bob Modersohn and I went to eastern Iowa a number of years ago during a major league baseball strike to see if they were playing ball in Balltown. They were, and hopefully they still are. As for The Lark in Tiffin, it indeed was Bobby Knight's favorite restaurant in the Iowa City area when he coached basketball at Indiana. Knight included me in his entourage of people that dined at The Lark many years on the night before an Iowa-Indiana game. Knight liked something I had written about him, and invited me to be one of his dining guests. I got even -- well, almost even -- the next day when I paid for his lunch in Iowa City].

*

OFFENBURGER'S POLITICAL CAREER

I wrote about columnist Chuck Offenburger the other day, and mentioned that he maybe should've -- or still should -- run for governor.

Here's what he told me via e-mail:

"Hi, Ron...

"Thanks for the plug in your latest column!

"Governor? Yeah, right. My highest political office was being elected to the Park Board in my hometown of Shenandoah in southwest Iowa in 1971. At 24, I was the youngest person ever elected there. My opponent, a great guy named Bob Read, who'd been on the Park Board for 15 years or more, said in his ads that while I was a nice young fellow, if people elected me I'd probably just get some other job opportunity and move away before I finished even one term. I denied that was even remotely possible. I was elected in November of '71, was sworn in in January of '72 and that March left for a reporter's job at the Des Moines Register!"

Chuck O.

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Well, let's put it this way, Chuck. I have confidence you'd do better than some of the other clowns we've had in the governor's office over the years!]

*

DOUBTING THOMAS CHECKS IN

A reader from Coralville, Doubting Thomas, not his real name, thinks the paper went to the height of ridiculousness by having reporter Randy Peterson ask Iowa's basketball coach and one of his players at yesterday's Big Ten basketball press day in Chicago whether they thought Hawkeye football standout Shonn Greene will, or should, turn pro.

"Leave Peterson alone," I told Doubting Thomas. "He's a friend of mine. Besides, he probably was assigned by his boss to do that sidebar at the basketball event. Peterson's boss hasn't been in touch with anything since his last Postcard from Beijing was returned because of insufficient postage.

"It's starting to look like the paper wants at least one story every day on Greene. The editors are trying to improve the circulation in Sicklerville, N.J., Greene's hometown. Also, sometimes the interviews at the basketball event aren't all that exciting. I've been to a bunch of them, you know. The last excitement came when Knight was still coaching at Indiana and Steve Alford was still coaching at Iowa. Alford didn't talk to Knight, his former coach, and Bobby got pissed."

*

Photos courtesy of Google.

Did You Stay Awake Long Enough To See Series Game End At 1:47 a.m., Philly Time? I Didn't. Also, Dan McCool Is Impressive Again With His Reporting

Label it insanity.

It can't be anything else, whether it's in Bud Selig's screwed-up world or not.

This isn't anything you'll find in your morning newspaper, but [pardon me while I yawn!] the Philadelphia Phillies took a 2-1 lead over Tampa Bay in the World Series this morning.

In a game that ended at a ridiculous 1:47 a.m. in Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia [12:47 a.m., central time], the Phillies won, 5-4.

I almost made it to the end, but not quite.

After a day, night and early-morning in which I watched parts of collegiate football games involving, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan State, Oklahoma, Texas, Iowa State, Penn State, Alabama and a few other teams I can't remember on TV, I fell asleep just before the end of the World Series game.

In a story headlined, "Long night finally ends with wild finish," here's how Jayson Stark of ESPN.com described the happenings:

You know it isn't just another World Series game when the clock above Ashburn Alley says it's 1:47 a.m.

You know it isn't just another World Series game when the Tampa Bay Rays suddenly have more infielders running around than coaches.

And you know it isn't just another World Series game when a ball that travels approximately 63 feet is about to turn into the biggest hit of the World Series for the team that is somehow WINNING the World Series.

But that was the madness that unfolded at Citizens Bank Park on a soggy Saturday night turned madcap Sunday morning.

It was five insane hours packed with raindrops, pickoffs, E-2's, long balls, small balls and a whopper of an umpiring boo-boo that nearly earned residence in World Series infamy.

But if you nodded off sometime after "Weekend Update," take our word for it. The Phillies really did beat the Rays, 5-4, this morning, on a walkoff, slo-mo thunker down the third-base line, against a five-man infield, by a catcher who gets an infield hit about once a decade.

And because that happened, in real life, in a jam-packed ballpark in the middle of the night, this World Series has taken a dramatic, possibly pivotal turn.

The Phillies now hold a 2-1 lead in this Series. They lead it even though they're hitting .061 [2-for-33] with runners in scoring position. They lead it even though neither of those two hits left the infield, and one of them didn't even score a run.

They lead it even though their late-inning defensive replacement has produced more runs than their leadoff hitter. And they lead it even though they've allowed that team they're playing to score eight consecutive runs, over two games, on plays that included either an out or an error.

"It's a funny game," Phillies manager Charlie Manuel said when this insanity was over. "That's how the game goes."

Well, it's not supposed to go quite like this. Is it? But somehow or other, the Phillies are two games away from winning the World Series, and they're in prime position to finish that job. Of the previous 51 World Series that were tied at 1-1, the winner of Game 3 has gone on to win the Series two-thirds of the time.

But one thing none of those other World Series featured was a game that didn't start until after 10 p.m., as this one did. You can thank the weather front from hell for making that possible.

And that set the stage for a long night's journey into day that eventually led us to an unprecedented burst of 1 a.m. craziness, starring the two Phillies everybody expected to take over a crucial World Series game -- Eric Bruntlett and Carlos Ruiz.

It was Bruntlett, a utility infielder who unexpectedly spent most of this season serving as Pat Burrell's late-inning defensive caddy in left field, who would wind up scoring the winning run in this game -- at 1:47 a.m.

Asked if he could recall the last time he'd scored a run at 1:47 a.m., Bruntlett scratched his head and concluded: "I'm pretty sure that's a first for me."

[Box score of the Phillies-Rays World Series game at the bottom of this column].

*

DAN McCOOL 'ONE OF THE BEST AROUND'

R. H. of Des Moines spent yesterday afternoon at the Wartburg-Simpson football game in Indianola, and here's what he wrote to me in an e-mail afterward:

"Ron,

"It was a great Saturday to sit in the stands and watch college football. With the winds sweeping through Bill Buxton Stadium, Wartburg held off Simpson, 21-13, to stay tied in first place with Buena Vista in the IIAC conference race. Luther lost to Coe, 22-19, and BV steamrolled Waldorf, 41-0, in a non-conference contest. Luther now drops to second place with their lost to the Kohawks.

"After the game, as the fans went down on the field to socialize with the players and the coaches, I noticed Wartburg wide receiver Justin Vetter being interviewed by the Register's Dan McCool. If there is anything I know about McCool and it's that he will always have a great writeup of the game. He's one of the best around.

"Now that Lute Olson has retired, I thought it was 'nice' that Olson admitted that you are one of his favorite sportswriters. Apparently, Lute forgot to mention someone special that also deserves a thank-you. This person became part of Iowa basketball lore and the ire of Lute.

"Of course, I'm referring to Jim Bain!!!!!!

"Finally, I'm inquiring if you knew what was going on at Upper Iowa University? Oh, wait, I forgot! Last I checked, the Register didn't have the story in the paper yet. How would you know what's happening, if the paper doesn't have it!

"According to the Waterloo Courier [thank you hometown paper], Upper Iowa fired their coach, Mike Knoll, on Tuesday. There was no reason given on the firing. What makes this situation interesting is that the Peacocks have joined a short list of teams [Clemson, St. Louis Rams, San Francisco 49ers] who have decided to whack their coaches in mid-season.

"Knoll was on the staff at Iowa State back in the '80's. He also served as head coach at New Mexico State. In his 4 years [1986-1990], he was 4-40. The Peacocks were 10-31 after 3 1/2 years under him, with two games remaining after losing [yesterday] to Concordia-St. Paul, 23-14. I don't know about you, but I have a suspicion that UIU figured out that Knoll was either best suited as an assistant, or something major must have happened for him to get the boot. The entire Iowa Conference is laughing at Upper Iowa. They should have never left Division III and tried to move up to Division II (so they could offer scholarships and get better talent). That was one of the worst decisions they could have made!

"Best,"

R.H.
Des Moines

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: R. H., I'm glad you saw an excellent Iowa Conference football game on a wonderful Saturday afternoon in October. I'm also glad you mentioned Dan McCool [pictured at the left], the do-everything sports reporter at the Register. My knowledge of McCool goes back many years. For a long time, he was the newspaper's correspondent in Cedar Falls, where he reported on the happenings at the University of Northern Iowa. He later moved to Des Moines, and had difficulty getting hired fulltime by the Register's sports department. But he's always been a hustler, and took on any job that was assigned to him. For a long time, he didn't get the respect he deserved. Dan has become one of the premier collegiate and high school wrestling writers in the nation, and also covers high school, collegiate and professional sports in a thorough manner. In recent years, McCool has even handled coverage of the major league baseball draft for the paper. In these difficult days in the newspaper business, McCool is what hard work is all about. He did his usual outstanding job of coverage at the game in Indianola yesterday. As for Jim Bain, he was the Big Ten basketball referee who called a phantom foul on Iowa player Kevin Boyle in a game at Purdue that sent Lute Olson into a rage when he coached at Iowa. The word is that Olson's criticism of Bain kept him from becoming the Big Ten Conference's supervisor of officials. Instead, he took a similar job in the Missouri Valley Conference. Things got so interesting for Bain that he sued an Iowa City man who had T-shirts manufactured that made fun of him for his officiating error in the Iowa-Purdue game. Bain won the case. A bizarre thing about the lawsuit was that the guy who lost it was an independent circulation manager for the Des Moines Register in Iowa City. As for Mike Knoll, the Upper Iowa football coach who was fired last week, I recall when he was on the Iowa State staff. He was a typical coaching nomad who obviously had some unfortunate things happen to him this season. By the way, McCool wrote a Register story on Knoll's firing last week that was buried in the sports section. I talked to my son, who is the dean of the college of education at Concordia-St. Paul University, where Upper Iowa played yesterday, and there have been one or two possible reasons given for Knoll's dismissal at the Fayette college. I stress the word "possible" because Upper Iowa officials have been silent on the reason for the firing. It would be unfair to saddle Knoll with any imaginary charge. Whatever his problems are, I hope he gets them corrected. Great hearing from you again, R. H., and I hope your Wartburg football team continues winning and advances to the playoffs].

*

HOBBLED JOE PATERNO, PENN STATE ON A ROLL

Hey, how about Joe Paterno and his outstanding Penn State football team?

I thoroughly enjoyed the final minutes of the Nittany Lions' 13-6 victory last night at Ohio State.

Consequently, Penn State will come into Iowa City in a couple of weeks unbeaten and hopeful of a national championship down the road.

After watching Penn State a couple of times this season, I'm impressed with the work the hobbled 81-year-old Paterno is doing.

He uses a cane to get around and coaches from the press box.

Pretty impressive autumn for the old boy.

However, I certainly am not counting Iowa out of its game against Penn State. Don't forget, I wrote a week ago that I felt the Hawkeyes could run the table and finish the regular season with a 9-3 record.

Beating the Nittany Lions on Nov. 8 certainly won't be easy, but it's possible

*

CYCLONE FOOTBALL IN 2008 IS A NIGHTMARE

Obviously, this has turned into a nightmare football season for Iowa State.

With six straight losses and a 2-6 record after last night's 49-35 loss to Texas A&M, I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel.

The Cyclones' game next Saturday at Stillwater, Okla., against a very strong Oklahoma State team, could be brutal.

Iowa State has a couple of games -- against Colorado and Kansas State -- that are winnable, but both are on the road, where the Cyclones are awful.

It looks like a 2-10 finish to me.

Things have sure improved a lot since the Dan McCarney coaching days in Ames, haven't they?

*

PHILLIES-RAYS WORLD SERIES BOX SCORE


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E

TAM 0 1 0 0 0 0 2 1 0 4 6 1

PHI 1 1 0 0 0 2 0 0 1 5 7 1


W: J. Romero (1-0)
L: J. Howell (0-1)

Tampa Bay Rays

AB R H RBI BB SO LOB AVG

A Iwamura 2B 4 0 0 0 0 2 1 .273
B Upton CF 4 1 2 0 0 1 0 .333
C Pena 1B 3 0 0 0 1 2 2 .000
E Longoria 3B 4 0 0 0 0 2 2 .000
C Crawford LF 4 2 2 0 0 0 0 .250
D Navarro C 4 1 2 0 0 1 1 .400
G Gross RF 3 0 0 2 0 0 2 .000
G Balfour P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
J Bartlett SS 4 0 0 1 0 0 1 .286
M Garza P 2 0 0 0 0 0 1 .000
a-W Aybar PH 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 .000
C Bradford P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
J Howell P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
B Zobrist RF 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .333

Totals 32 4 6 3 2 8 10

a-walked for M Garza in the 7th

BATTING

2B: C Crawford (1, J Moyer); D Navarro (1, J Moyer)
RBI: G Gross 2 (2), J Bartlett (2)
SF: G Gross
Runners left in scoring position, 2 out: E Longoria 1
Team LOB: 4

BASERUNNING

SB: C Crawford (1, 3rd base off J Moyer/C Ruiz); B Upton 3 (3, 3rd base off R Madson/C Ruiz, 2nd base off J Moyer/C Ruiz, 2nd base off R Madson/C Ruiz)

FIELDING

E: D Navarro (1, throw)

Tampa Bay Rays

Pitchers IP H R ER BB SO HR PC-ST ERA
M Garza 6.0 6 4 4 2 7 3 102-65 6.00
C Bradford 1.0 0 0 0 1 0 0 15-8 0.00
J Howell (L, 0-1) 1.0 0 1 1 0 2 0 16-8 5.40
G Balfour 0.0 1 0 0 2 0 0 15-5 0.00
Totals 8.0 7 5 5 5 9 3 148-86

PITCHING

WP: M Garza; G Balfour
IBB: S Victorino (By G Balfour); G Dobbs (By G Balfour)
HBP: E Bruntlett (By J Howell)
Batters faced: M Garza 25; C Bradford 4; J Howell 3; G Balfour 3
Ground Balls-Fly Balls: M Garza 4-6; C Bradford 2-1; J Howell 0-0; G Balfour 0-0
Game Scores: M Garza 49

Philadelphia Phillies

AB R H RBI BB SO LOB AVG
J Rollins SS 4 1 2 0 0 0 1 .143
J Werth RF 2 0 1 0 2 0 1 .364
C Utley 2B 4 1 1 2 0 1 3 .250
R Howard 1B 4 1 1 1 0 2 2 .231
P Burrell LF 3 0 0 0 0 2 1 .000E E E E E Bruntlett LF 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 .500
S Victorino CF 3 0 0 0 1 1 0 .364
P Feliz 3B 3 0 0 0 0 2 0 .200
b-G Dobbs PH 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 .333
C Ruiz C 3 1 2 2 1 0 0 .500
J Moyer P 2 0 0 0 0 1 1 .000
C Durbin P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
S Eyre P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
a-G Jenkins PH 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
R Madson P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
J Romero P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
Totals 29 5 7 5 5 9 9

a-grounded to shortstop for S Eyre in the 7th
b-intentionally walked for P Feliz in the 9th

BATTING

HR: C Ruiz (1, 2nd inning off M Garza 0 on, 2 Out); C Utley (2, 6th inning off M Garza 0 on, 0 Out); R Howard (1, 6th inning off M Garza 0 on, 0 Out)
RBI: C Utley 2 (4), C Ruiz 2 (3), R Howard (1)
2-out RBI: C Ruiz
Runners left in scoring position, 2 out: P Burrell 1
Team LOB: 6

BASERUNNING

SB: J Werth (2, 2nd base off J Howell/D Navarro)
CS: J Rollins (1, 2nd base by M Garza/D Navarro)
Picked Off: J Werth (2nd base by J Howell)

FIELDING

E: C Ruiz (2, throw)

Philadelphia Phillies

Pitchers IP H R ER BB SO HR PC-ST ERA
J Moyer 6.1 5 3 3 1 5 0 96-64 4.26
C Durbin (H, 1) 0.1 0 0 0 1 0 0 6-2 0.00
S Eyre (H, 1) 0.1 0 0 0 0 1 0 6-3 0.00
R Madson (B, 1) 0.2 1 1 1 0 1 0 15-7 5.40
J Romero (W, 1-0) 1.1 0 0 0 0 1 0 15-10 0.00

Totals 9.0 6 4 4 2 8 0 138-86

PITCHING

Batters faced: J Moyer 25; C Durbin 2; S Eyre 1; R Madson 3; J Romero 4
Ground Balls-Fly Balls: J Moyer 4-10; C Durbin 1-0; S Eyre 0-0; R Madson 1-0; J Romero 2-1
Game Scores: J Moyer 55

Scoring Summary

TAM PHI
1st C Utley grounded out to first, J Rollins scored, J Werth to third. 0 1
2nd G Gross hit sacrifice fly to center, C Crawford scored. 1 1
2nd C Ruiz homered to left. 1 2
6th C Utley homered to right. 1 3
6th R Howard homered to right. 1 4
7th G Gross grounded out to first, C Crawford scored, D Navarro to third. 2 4
7th J Bartlett grounded out to shortstop, D Navarro scored. 3 4
8th B Upton stole third, B Upton scored on throwing error by catcher C Ruiz. 4 4
9th C Ruiz reached on infield single to third, E Bruntlett scored, S Victorino to third, G Dobbs to second. 4 5

Attendance: 45,900 (105.5% full)
Game Time: 3:41
Weather: 66 degrees, rain
Wind: 18 mph
Umpires: Home Plate - Fieldin Culbreth, First Base - Tom Hallion, Second Base - Jeff Kellogg, Third Base - Tim Tschida

*

Photo of the victorious Philadlephia Phillies courtesy of US Presswire. Photo of Dan McCool courtesy of Des Moines Register blogs.

Now That I Know I'm Lute Olson's Favorite Sportswriter, I Hope He Spends His Retirement Being Healthy, Wealthy & Wise

I haven't seen my good friend Alive In Clive, not his real name, for almost a week.

The last time was when we broke bread together at the Gateway restaurant in West Des Moines.

But, with all the goings-on in sports lately, I knew it wouldn't be long before I heard from him in an e-mail.

I wrote about him the other day, saying I was certain he was spending the week watching reruns on TV of Nebraska's football victory over Iowa State.

After reading that, plus finding out that Lute Olson had decided to retire after a century of coaching basketball at Arizona, Iowa and other places [I mean, he was in the business so long his hair turned totally white], Alive was at the keyboard of his computer.

Here's what he wrote:

"Maly...

"I am now focused on the Baylor at Nebraska game. Should be a win for the Big Red. However, one can never be sure.

"We got good news on our grandson, Eric. You will remember he missed our breakfast at Gateway because of a sore foot. They first thought he had broken a bone in his foot. Turned out to be a torn tendon. Should be okay in a week to 10 days.

"I know it was not printed in Lute's retirement statement, but it is highly rumored that he said, 'I know that Ron Maly won't have me to kick around anymore.'

"The Downing Hotel will be opened this weekend for the grandkids while Dave and Dina celebrate thier 16th wedding aniversary out of town.

"I remain..."

Alive in Clive
Not My Real Name

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Alive In Clive is pictured at the right, under the photo of Lute Olson and his late first wife, Bobbi. At the time, Lute and Bobbi were celebrating Arizona's 1997 NCAA basketball championship.

You'll notice that Alive In Clive is wearing sunglasses. He especially likes it when I call him Alive In Clive, not his real name, because that makes him feel even more mysterious. The sunglasses certainly add to the mystery.

In addition, he liked it when somebody at his last high school reunion said he looked a little bit like Jack Nicholson. Unfortunately, it wasn't the class homecoming queen who said it. It was the male high school dropout who was washing dishes at the restaurant where the reunion was held.

Bobbi Olson, who was a big part of Lute's basketball programs at both Iowa and Arizona, died of ovarian cancer Jan. 1, 2001. It was Bobbi who told me one of the reasons Olson left Iowa and took the Arizona job was become living in Iowa City had become like existing in a "fishbowl" [left].

It was interesting that Alive In Clive mentioned that Olson probably figures I wouldn't have him to kick around anymore. Indeed, we did have our problems when Olson had a 168-90 record from 1975-1983 at Iowa.

Olson was always thin-skinned wherever he coached, but he also became extremely arrogant in his later years at Iowa. He always thought reporters -- especially newspaper reporters -- were out to get him. It wasn't unusual to see him resort to snarling answers whenever questions were asked of him in press conferences -- especially after tough losses.

It was good for everyone that Olson took the Arizona job. He was a better coach there than he was at Iowa. Indeed, he became a Hall of Famer, and this University of Iowa Wall of Famer was happy to see it.

Ever since Olson published a book detailing his coaching career, I've been telling myself and my readers that I was his favorite sportswriter. I had to be because he devoted an entire page to me in the book. My only disappointment was that he didn't send me a copy of the book after it was published.

When I wrote my book, "Tales from the Iowa Sidelines," I made sure everyone in it got a signed copy.

Tim Bross, a friend of mine who works for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, sent me a copy of Olson's book, but by the time it arrived in my mailbox the box had been opened and the book was gone. I hope the guy who got it enjoyed reading about me.

I also hope Olson is healthy as he enters retirement. But I'm not certain of that. He has already denied that he has Parkinson's Disease, but he was out of coaching for the entire 2007-2008 season. It was during that time that he was in the process of divorcing -- or being divorced by -- his second wife.

The 74-year-old Olson has since announced his engagement to a 47-year-old Tucson divorcee. Good luck on that one.

Incidentally, my West Coast Correspondent forwarded me a story out of the Tucson Citizen that says Olson won't receive any large sum of money from Arizona for calling it quits as a coach.

He'll get some sick leave and vacation pay, but that's about it.

However, I'm not going to worry about ol' Silver Locks winding up in a soup line at a homeless shelter in downtown Tucson anytime soon].

*

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT

It's beyond belief that the famous Breitbach's restaurant in the tiny Iowa community of Balltown burned to the ground at or after 3:30 a.m. yesterday.

I'm sure Bob Modersohn can't believe it, either.

Modersohn, one of the best photographers in the western world, traveled with me to Balltown a number of years ago so we could do a story/picture layout for the paper on whether they actually play baseball in Balltown.

It turned out they did, and they probably still do.

There was a fire at Breitbach's last Christmas Eve, and people were happy that the place was rebuilt.

But now it's gone, probably forever.

I'm no expert on fires or restaurants, but a guy who worked as a fire investigator told me a number of years ago that most restaurant blazes are the result of arson.

"But we can rarely prove it," he said.

One of my favorite alltime restaurants, The Lark in Tiffin, burned down several years ago.

I always wondered what happened there, too.

The Lark was where the famous University of Iowa football press parties were held on Friday nights during the season. There was nothing else like them anywhere in the nation.

As far as I know, no reason was ever found for that blaze, either.

Very sad.

You're Getting It All Today: Doreen & Skeeter Wilber, Scottish Highlanders, Marching Bands, the World Series, High School Football Playoffs

Two sound-thinkers who always have a lot on their minds -- longtime newspaper and Internet columnist Chuck Offenburger and play-by-play radio announcer Scott Pierce -- check in with me today via e-mail:

Hey Ron...

"I've been on the road, but I really appreciated your column after the death of Doreen Wilber of our county seat town of Jefferson. We moved into Greene County four years ago, and I was always hoping that I could get together with Doreen and Skeeter to hear their Olympics stories first hand. Alas, she was just too ill the last couple of years, and I never got to have the conversation. Thanks to you for re-publishing your story about when she went into the D.M. Register's Iowa Sports Hall of Fame. Reading it was almost as good as talking to her would have been. I was amazed to read that Skeeter stayed home from the Olympics to work, and that he first learned about Doreen's gold medal in an announcement on radio. That tells you about what a different time it was. Another fun vignette about that, my pal Rick Morain, the longtime editor and publisher of the Jefferson Bee & Herald, says that when Wilber won gold, it was the only time in his long newspaper career that he actually ran into the back room screaming, 'Stop the presses! Stop the presses!'

"Second thing, be sure to catch my new column about the marching band and football scene at the College of Wooster. I thought of you several times during that weekend, with all the Scottish music and regalia. I still remember you uniforming up and marching with the Scottish Highlanders at the U of I! [Oh, despite what the headline might infer on my column, I did not actually march with the Wooster band, just trailed alongside pestering them.]"

Chuck O.

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: I always enjoy Chuck Offenburger's columns and his insight into what's going on around the state and nation. Chuck [pictured at the right], of course, wrote the popular "Iowa Boy" column for many years at the Des Moines Register, and was one of the best-known people in the state. He was such an influence in the lives of Iowans that he maybe should have run for governor. You can read his Internet columns at www.Offenburger.com. Chuck writes just as well, if not better, now than when he and I worked in the Register newsroom together for many years. Chuck is a guy who is, and has been, interested in marching bands for a long, long time. I always enjoyed it when he attended Iowa-Iowa State football games and made comparisons on which university had the best marching band. His reference to the Scottish Highlanders was in connection to my "guest appearance" with them a number of years ago. The Highlanders used to march at Hawkeye home football games, and they were a novel group, indeed. During the time Iowa had non-winning football records for 19 conescutive seasons [from 1962-1980], Gene Raffensperger, then my boss in the sports department, suggested that I march with the Highlanders at halftime of a game and write a story for the Sunday Register about it. I've reprinted the story a time or two in these columns, and it was a thoroughly refreshing experience to appear with them in Kinnick Stadium. I mentioned to Offenburger that Cole, my 14-year-old grandson, a student at Southwoods Freshman High School in West Des Moines, is now a drummer in the Valley High School marching band, and that's one reason I still have a strong interest in bands. Indeed, I told Chuck that our family tries to watch the Iowa marching band do its warmup in the Recreation Building at Iowa City before it appears at Hawkeye games. We also watch the drumline section of the band [pictured at the top] do its morning warmup near the stadium. "I've been to those Hawkeye marching band warmups in the Rec Building several times, and they are terrific -- sometimes the most fun part of the day!" Offenburger wrote me. "That's cool that your grandson is in the Valley band. Are they still called the Marchmasters? Talk about a tradition!" Indeed, the Valley band is still called the Marchmasters. It's impressive when their large truck, with VALLEY MARCHMASTERS in huge letters, is parked next to the Valley Stadium on game nights. The Valley band is, and always has been, one of the best in the state and the midwest].

*

Here's Scott Pierce's e-mail:

Ron:

"First of all, the Rays are not in a 'must win' situation, in my opinion. It takes 4 games to win this thing. Many teams have come back from 2-0 down. The '85 Royals did it down 2-0 and going on the road for 3.

"Second thought....I don't care about whether a sporting event is rated high across the country. While the Red Sox would have been a higher rating, it wouldn't have been for me. I care about what I like. And when I did talk radio, I only cared about what MY audience cared about. I didn't give a rats what the big markets went for. I hope that makes sense.

"Third thought.....This is my annual pet peeve about the Iowa high school football playoffs. The expansion to 32 teams per class is idiotic. In Class 4A, only 16 teams will be left OUT of the playoffs. My buddy Bob Dyer calls this 'socialized sports.'

"But here's the bigger gripe. To get to the semifinals, a team will play [tonight],
Wednesday, the following Monday, then the following Friday. That's 4 games in 2
weeks. Is that safe for the kids? Is playing on a Wednesday night, then a Monday night in their best interests? The IHSAA has preached for years that no teams will be asked to travel more than 100 miles because it's not in the kids best interests. Well, whose best interests are being served now?"

Scott Pierce

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: I wrote yesterday that Tampa Bay was in a "must-win" situation last night in its World Series with Philadelphia. The last thing the Rays, who won Thursday night's game, 4-2, needed was to go to Philly down, 2-0, in the best-of-seven series. It was bad enough that the Ray lost the opener, 3-2, in their home ballpark. As for the high school football playoffs, it does seem that teams in the playoffs are going to very, very busy, and the players had better be in superb condition if they're going to survive the schedule they face. However, my son tells me that ALL high school teams in Minnesota qualify for the playoffs, so Iowa certainly isn't alone in the expansion. Pierce [pictured at the left] is the play-by-play radio announcer for Drake's women's basketball team, and I mentioned to him that the season wasn't far away. "8 days, 14 hours, 6 minutes, 43 seconds away until basketball season," he wrote in an e-mail that was sent to me at 10:58 p.m. Thursday].

Something for Your Scrapbooks, Kids: Here's the Sioux City Journal's Story On No. 1-Ranked Valley's 35-7 Victory Over Sioux City North

Valley's No. 1-ranked class 4A high school football team received its usual two-paragraph, page 5 treatment this morning from the Des Moines Register. So here's the Sioux City Journal's story on the game, which the Tigers' players and fans can clip for their scrapbooks:

TOP-RANKED VALLEY DOWNS NORTH

By Steven Allspach sallspach@siouxcityjournal.com

North High, battling valiantly, lost to Iowa's No. 1-ranked Class 4A football team Thursday night at Olsen Stadium.

Unbeaten West Des Moines Valley, shifting into high gear in the second half, broke away from a 14-7 halftime lead to hand the Stars of Coach Keith Hanks a 35-7 setback.

The loss left North with a 4-5 regular season record, but the Stars may still be alive to fight another day.

"The way we're looking at it we're standing maybe 27th out of the 32 teams that qualify (for the playoffs) and we may end up getting the 15th or 16th seed on the western half of the state,'' said Hanks. "I'm mighty proud of my football team after this game.

"We gave the No. 1 team a pretty good go for a long time. We've got a young team and inconsistency has been our problem all year. We made a couple turnovers that hurt, but for the most part this was one of our better games.''

Valley, rushing for 192 of its 258 total rushing yards in the second half, closed regular season play with a 9-0 record.

The Tigers rode the two-fanged rushing of Zach Cutkomp and Theo Burkett to the victory. Cutkomp rushed for 140 yards and three touchdowns and Burkett 110 yards and two TDs.

"Hats off to North,'' said Valley Coach Gary Swenson. "We didn't have the sharpest of games and we didn't get much of a pass rush on their quarterback.

"But I'm not short-changing North at all. We were playing a good football team. I don't think they were intimidated at all by the unbeaten No. 1-ranked team.''

Valley's Cutkomp and Burkett, as they have all season, took advantage of blocking provided by 6-8, 290-pound Dave Barrent and 6-4, 250-pound Ryan Wood. Barrent has verbally commited to Michigan State of the Big Ten.

Meanwhile, Valley's defense shut down North senior Josh Folchert, who came into the game with 1,106 yards rushing and 10 touchdowns.

Folchert was chasing the North single-season rushing mark of 1,192 yards by Raul Sanchez in eight games in 1988. Sanchez played collegiately at North Dakota State.

But, the hard-running senior was limited to 36 yards on 15 carries.

Junior quarterback Danny Rudeen and junior running back Cody Ahrendt took up the slack, however.

Rudeen completed 21 of 36 passes for 239 yards and Ahrendt caught eight passes for 135 yards. Another junior, rangy 6-6, 200-pound Ryan Fraley hauled in three passes for 59 yards.

"I don't think we were intimidated by Valley,'' said Ahrendt. "We just went out and played our game as best we could.

"Danny hit me with a pass early there and it seemed like I was open on some routes the whole game.

"We're optimistic we're going to make the playoffs. We're hoping this isn't the end of the season for us.''

Last year, North lost a first-round playoff contest at Valley, 24-0. This season, the playoff field expands from 16 to 32 teams with the first round of postseason play designated as the substate round.

The substate round begins Wednesday with the Iowa High School Athletic Union announcing the pairings late tonight or early Saturday morning.

That's when North will learn its playing fate.

The Thursday loss was also the third straight for the Stars.

The victory, Valley's 26th straight in regular-season play, also gave the school its fifth 9-0 regular-season record in six years.

Interestingly, Valley may not get the No. 1 seed in the western half of the state even though it is 9-0 and ranked No. 1.

"The way we have it figured,'' said Swenson, 'is that we'll be the two seed and Southeast Polk, on strength of schedule, will get the No. 1 seed if it wins Friday.''

If North squeezes into the field there's a strong chance the Stars would face Valley again in the substate.

W.D.M. Valley 35, North 7

West Des Moines Valley 7 7 14 7 -- 35

North 0 7 0 0 -- 7

First Quarter

Valley: Zach Cutkomp 7 run (Michael Hovick kick) 0:19

Second Quarter

Valley: Theo Burkett 8 run (Hovick kick) 8:27

North: Josh Folchert 1 pass from Danny Rudeen ( kick) 0:01

Third Quarter

Valley: Cutkomp 23 run (Hovick kick) :10

Valley: Burkett 23 run (Hovick kick) 9:43

Fourth Quarter

Valley: Cutkomp 24 run (Hovick kick) 5:36

TEAM STATISTICS

Valley North

First downs 17 15

Rushes-yards 42-258 28-68

Passing yards 35 239

Passes 4-9-0 21-36-3

Total plays-yards 51-293 64-307

Punts-avg. 3-32.7 4-36.8

Fumbles-lost 1-0 0-0

Penalties-yards 2-11 4-20

INDIVIDUAL STATISTICS

RUSHING: West Des Moines Valley -- Zach Cutkomp 17-140, Theo Burkett 15-110, Togbah Gabriel 5-14, Ryan Dixon 1-2, Garth Gripenberg 1-(-1), Taylor Nelson 3-(-7). North -- Josh Folchert 15-36, Danny Rudeen 8-15, Zung Tran 4-13, Cody Ahrendt 1-4.

PASSING: West Des Moines Valley -- Taylor Nelson 4-9-0--35. North -- Danny Rudeen 21-36-3--239.

RECEIVING: West Des Moines Valley -- Ryan Cawley 3-29, Zach Cutkomp 1-6. North -- Cody Ahrendt 8-135, Ryan Fraley 3-59, Josh Folchert 5-8, Josh Erickson 3-12, Jawad Njdawi 2-25.

A 'Must-Win' Situation Already In the World Series; Troubled Lute Olson, 74, Is [Thank Goodness] Finally Getting Out Of Coaching

Last night's World Series opener was a decent game but, still, I struggled watching it.

Indeed, I had to take a walk around the block to stay awake late in the Phillies' 3-2 victory at Tampa Bay.

It began raining when I was out there, so that didn't help matters.

I think I'll survive, but whether the Rays survive is anybody's guess.

Suddenly, America's Favorite Little Team is in some trouble.

I mean, already we've got a "must-win" game for Tampa Bay tonight.

The Rays can't be trailing, 2-0, when the Series shifts to Philadelphia.

*

I'm predicting this World Series will make history.

It'll get the lowest TV ratings ever.

All the sponsors will take a financial bath and Joe Buck will be sent to the NFL permanently for an announcer to be named later.

I don't hear anybody rattling on about the Rays or Philly.

Nobody in Kanawha or Kankakee.

And certainly not my good friend Alive In Clive, a Nebraska football fan who is still watching reruns on the tube of the Huskers' victory last week at Iowa State.

*

So, Mr. Third & Six, you're telling me it's too early to be talking about the collegiate basketball season, right?

I know you're saying the publicity guys have to schedule their press days but, don't forget, this is still just October.

Well, maybe you're right. Maybe the basketball folks should be a little more patient. Maybe they should wait until a few more football coaches get fired. I mean, Chuck Long [pictured at the right] hasn't gotten the ax yet, but somebody is sharpening it out there in San Diego.

For some people, though, it's never too early to start talking about basketball.

The fans at Iowa State, a place that's again struggling in football, are among them.

The end of the season can't come too soon for many Cyclone fans.

I know exhibition basketball games will be starting soon, and some teams will be playing until after the 2009 major league baseball season starts.

But, let's face it, at some places basketball is the only thing that matters.

As usual, this figures to be a critical season for some coaches.

Iowa State, for one. Northern Iowa, for another.

Greg McDermott needs to win to prove he isn't in over his head at Ames in a conference that's among the best two or three in the country.

I probably think he is [in over his head, I mean], but I hope he shows me I'm wrong.

Ben Jacobson needs to win to prove he knows how to be a head coach, not an assistant, at Cedar Falls.

We'll see. I guess I'm not confident.

There's pressure elsewhere, too.

Todd Lickliter needs to get things going at Iowa. Winning at Butler was fine, but winning at Iowa is a whole new ballgame.

And Lickliter needs to put people in the seats at Carver-Hawkeye Arena.

The promotions department can have every ticket package known to mankind, but fans aren't going to show up on a cold January night if the team can't win.

As for Drake, you might think Mark Phelps is in a honeymoon period as the Bulldogs' first-year coach.

I'm not buying it.

Phelps needs to win, too. I'm not saying he has to win 28 games like Keno Davis did in his first season at Drake in 2007-2008, but the university can't afford an 18-15 season after getting fans back into the program, then raising the price of tickets.

Besides, a scant few people pay attention to football at Drake. The companies that sell tires are the exceptions.

Chuck Shelton, a former Bulldogs coach, liked to tell me he got upset every Sunday when the results of his games were "back by the tire ads" in the paper.

So -- except for one weekend in the spring, when a track and field meet jumps front and center -- men's basketball is what intercollegiate athletics are about at the school.

*

Mention of UNI brings me to Rick Hartzell, who used to be the athletic director there.

Among Hartzell's problems was that he seemed to care more about wearing his zebra outfit [pictured at the top] so he could moonlight as a major-college basketball referee than he cared about running UNI's athletic department.

Whenever I get his 2008-2009 officiating schedule, I'll give it to you.

*

News flash....

Datebook Diner, one of the paper's amusement columns, had a picture today that showed the inside of a restaurant -- and six or seven people were sitting there.

That ends a streak of 27 straight weeks when empty restaurants were pictured.

I guess the food was bad in the restaurant reviewed today, but that's a column for another day.


*

I hear that Iowa State's homecoming football game Saturday is at 6 p.m.

I mean, 6 o'clock at night on Oct. 25 in the state of Iowa!

I wonder whose idea that is?

Until I hear otherwise, I'll blame it on the TV people.

*

I've suspected for quite a while that Lute Olson [pictured at the left], a former Iowa basketball coach, is a troubled man.

Now comes word today from ESPN basketball announcer Dick Vitale, the Associated Press and other sources that he's getting out of coaching.

Wise move.

"This was not a decision that was made lightly," the University of Arizona coach said in statement reported by the AP. "I've had a wonderful run [at Arizona]. I leave with a great sense of pride in what we have accomplished here."

Speaking at a brief news conference at McKale Center, Arizona athletic director Jim Livengood did not designate a successor -- even on an interim basis. He said a national search would begin soon.

"I do not have a decision at this point in time in terms of who's going to head our men's basketball program," Livengood said. "But that will be announced in the very, very short future."

Vitale first reported the story, saying Olson would be replaced by assistant coach Mike Dunlap, a former Denver Nuggets assistant and Metro State coach who joined the program in May.

"At this stage in my life, I want to devote my time to my children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, family and friends," Olson said. "I look forward to watching Wildcat basketball and visiting with my colleagues in the coaching profession. It is time to pass the program on to a younger staff, to transition the university to the next generation of basketball."

Olson missed all of last season after taking a personal leave of absence for what he later termed "a medical condition that was not life-threatening."

Interim coach Kevin O'Neill led Arizona to a 19-15 record and the school's 24th consecutive NCAA tournament appearance, the nation's longest active streak.

When Olson returned from his leave in April, he said O'Neill was no longer part of his staff and that he planned to coach for the remainder of his contract, which runs through 2011.

On Tuesday, Olson said that he was fired up about the upcoming season. "I feel much more energized at this point," he said at the team's media day.

That feeling apparently changed quickly. Olson skipped a scheduled luncheon on Wednesday and missed practice the last two days.

Olson did not appear at the news conference announcing his decision, nor was there any mention of his health in the statement released by the school.

The announcement comes after a year of upheaval for Olson, whose contentious divorce from wife Christine was finalized last spring. Five months later, Olson announced that he was engaged to divorcee Kelly Pugnea, 47, a Tucson resident for 25 years.

Last month, the university reported a possible minor NCAA recruiting violation by Olson, who called it "an unfortunate and regrettable error."

Olson went 589-187 at Arizona, and he led the Wildcats to the 1997 national title and four Final Fours, most recently in 2001. His 327 Pac-10 wins are a conference record.

Olson is 780-280 overall as a Division I coach.

As rumors of Olson's retirement spread, television news trucks lined the street outside McKale Center. Reporters camped out inside the building for hours as Livengood and other school officials huddled in the athletic department offices, refusing to confirm or deny widespread reports that Olson had quit.

"This has been a long day for everybody," Livengood said. "Things were released, unfortunately, non-confirmed, a long time ago, and it seems like it's been hours and hours and hours."

Olson's decision sent shockwaves across a basketball-obsessed campus. Football coach Mike Stoops was swarmed by reporters after practice, and none wanted to ask about Arizona's Homecoming game against No. 6 USC, which pits two teams tied for first in the Pac-10.

"He's an icon," said Stoops, who first met Olson when Stoops was a football player at Iowa. "I just hope and pray he's in good health and happy with his decision. He deserves it. He's put a lot of time and energy into building a tradition here, second to no other across the country."

Olson was the coach for one season at Long Beach State before he took over at Iowa for the 1974-75 season.

He was inducted into the Naismith Memorial Hall of Fame in 2002.

'Silent George' & Other Stuff

The New York Yankees are saying they want to play the Chicago Cubs in an exhibition game next April 6 at the new $1.6 billion [how about those numbers?] ballpark they're building.

That would be the first game ever played in the new Yankee Stadium [pictured above]. The regular-season opener there won't be until April 16 against Cleveland.

Frankly, I can see why the Yankees want to play the Cubs in the first game at the new park.

Neither team will be playing at the end of the season, so why not play at the start?

The Cubs never get to the World Series anymore, and wouldn't win one if they did advance that far.

The Yankees spend more money than the national debt every year and still didn't even get into the playoffs this season.

Besides, the Yankees would like Lou Piniella, the Cubs' manager, to show up at their new ballpark.

It might be the only time they ever see him there again. Sweet Lou isn't getting any younger, and his days as a baseball manager are definitely numbered.

After what happened to his team in 2008, Piniella's tenure in baseball is getting shorter all the time.

*

Incidentally, I don't think there's any way the Cubs can stand pat and not make some trades in the off-season.

Sure, they won the National League Central in a runaway over Milwaukee, Houston, St. Louis and every other ragtag team in that division.

But, just as in 2007, they collapsed in the first round of the playoffs.

They didn't fire a shot against the Dodgers this year, nor last year against Arizona.

Even if the Cubs manage to win the Central title again in 2009, there's no way I'd want them to go into the playoffs with the same team they had this year.

How many more times can we watch Derrek Lee, Aramis Ramirez, Alfonso Soriano and Kosuke Fukudome screw things up?

Lee has to go. I'd like to see Soriano out, too. Certainly the same with Fukudome, who was in the 2008 All-Star game, then was such a hapless hitter in the second half of the season that he was an embarrassment to himself and his team.

The Cubs need a left-handed hitting first baseman, but I'm not sure Micah Hoffpauir is the answer.

They need a left-handed hitting rightfielder, but not Fukudome [pictured at the right].

They need a left-handed hitting centerfielder, but not Jim Edmonds.

Now that general manager Jim Hendry has a new four-year contract, he's got time to find all of those parts.

*

I haven't spent much time lately wondering where George Hendrick was or is, but now I know that he's going to be in the World Series that starts tonight.

Hendrick [pictured at the left] is the first base coach for the Tampa Bay Rays.

Whether he talks to anybody these days is anybody's guess.

I covered the man they called "Silent George" in the late-1960s at what then was known as Sec Taylor Stadium, and should still be known as Sec Taylor Stadium, in Des Moines.

George was an outfielder for the Iowa Oaks, then an Oakland farm team.

Writing about that team wasn't my favorite thing to do in those days. It ranked right up there with covering the auto races at the State Fairgrounds on Saturday night.

And Gartner wasn't even there yet. At Sec Taylor Stadium, I mean.

I occasionally filled in for Bill Bryson at the ballpark because Bill, for some reason, thought he should have one night a week off.

After one game, I once asked Hendrick a question in the clubhouse, and he began shouting, "No! No! No!"

He wrapped a towel around himself and ran toward the shower.

That was the strangest response I'd ever gotten to a question since I asked an Iowa State basketball player whose name I've forgotten something after a game in Ames.

The guy stared at me and said nothing.

Not that night or any following night.

I don't think anyone had ever asked him anything previously.

As for Hendrick, I never again asked him anything.

I later heard he didn't talk to anyone in those days.

By the way, I didn't name him "Silent George." Somebody else did.

*

One reason I wanted to make sure I pointed out to my readers that Silent George will be in the World Series is so the copy editors in the sports department at the Des Moines Register are aware of his presence.

They're forever editing the fact into stories that some major leaguer is a "former Iowa Cub."

The trouble is, they only former Iowa Cubs they're aware of are guys who played since 2000.

There are a hell of a lot of baseball players who played in Des Moines before the turn of the century, and they're still hitting and pitching the ball pretty well.

*

By the way, among others who played in for the Iowa Oaks at about the same time as Silent George were Tony LaRussa, Joe Rudi and Vida Blue.

Pretty fair baseball names.

Lou Holtz Should Be Suspended, Maybe Even Fired, By ESPN

Lou Holtz should be suspended, and perhaps fired, for what he said a few days ago on one of ESPN's many football shows.

Holtz is a former coach at Notre Dame, Minnesota, Arkansas and assorted other places.

A lot of people don't realize it, but he got his start as a graduate assistant on Forest Evashevski's coaching staff at Iowa in 1960. He received a master's degree from Iowa.

In the dark days of the Hawkeyes' program -- when teams there had 19 years of non-winning records from 1962 through 1980 -- he was asked at least once, and maybe more than once, if he'd like to be the Hawkeyes' head coach.

But he was never interested.

That's probably a good thing because, everywhere Holtz [pictured at the right] was a head coach, he had problems with the NCAA.

He's been on ESPN in recent years, blabbering about collegiate football and generally making a fool of himself.

Holtz says a lot of dumb things -- none dumber than when he compared Rich Rodriguez [pictured at the left], Michigan's first-year coach, to Adolf Hitler [pictured at the top.]

On College Football Live, Holtz was talking about Michigan's 2-5 start and discussed Rodriguez's leadership. He followed it up with this line:

"Ya know, Hitler was a great leader too."

Holtz's bosses at ESPN forced Holtz to apologize almost immediately.

Good idea. No reason to compare any 2008 football coach to a German dictator who was responsible for the deaths of millions of people in the 20th century.

On Gameday the next day, Holtz said,

"Last night while trying to make a point about leadership, I made an unfortunate reference. It was a mistake and I sincerely apologize. At the time, I tried to clarify my remarks. I'm not sure I adequately did so. I appreciate your understanding."

Michigan athletic director Bill Martin didn't understand. He called ESPN to protest.

An apology is not consistent with what has happened at ESPN in the past.

Columnist Jemele Hill talked about Hitler in one of her columns on ESPN.com a few months ago, then she was suspended by the network.

And there was the Dana Jacobson mess.

Jacobson, who attended high school at Valley of West Des Moines, was suspended from her announcing responsibilities at ESPN over another incident.

"Jacobson graduated from the University of Michigan in 1993 with a Bachelor of Arts in English and communications," Barry Crist of West Des Moines told me. "She was born and raised in Michigan, where she attended Andover High School in Bloomfield Hills. Subsequently, she attended and graduated from Valley in 1989.

"ESPN recently suspended Jacobson [who is Jewish] for one week in light of unscripted comments she made about Notre Dame at the roast of [network announcers] Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic in Atlantic City.

"Jacobson was criticized by several Catholic advocacy groups, including the Catholic League for her characterizations of Jesus and the Notre Dame football program. An intoxicated Jacobson reportedly appeared on stage drinking a bottle of vodka and said, 'Fuck Notre Dame,' 'Fuck Touchdown Jesus' and 'Fuck Jesus.'"

However, the word on the street is that Holtz won't be suspended for what he said about Rodriguez and Hitler.

Apparently one of the reasons is that he's 71 years of age. I'm glad they've decided that old guys deserve to be cut more slack, but I still don't like it that Hitler was brought into any football conversation on a high-profile sports network.

'Here, Feel This Arm. Solid, Right?' Doreen Wilber Told Me 27 Years Ago. Now Iowa's 1972 Olympic Gold Medalist In Archery Is Dead At 78

The Des Moines Register says on its website today that Doreen Wilber of Jefferson, Ia., who won an Olympic gold medal in archery in 1972, died Sunday.

Typical of the paper these days, Wilber's name was misspelled in her obituary on the website.

I know a little about Wilber [who is pictured] because I wrote the April 5, 1981 story that appeared in the paper when she was named to the Des Moines Sunday Register's Iowa Sports Hall of Fame.

Here's what the paper said on its website today. Try, if you can, to not pay attention to the paper's misspellings of her name -- as well as her husband's name:

Doreen Wilbur, an Olympic gold medalist in archery from Jefferson, has died.

Wilbur, who died Sunday, was 78.

In 1972, Wilbur won gold in Munich, Germany. In 1981, she was selected for The Des Moines Sunday Register’s Iowa Sports Hall of Fame.

Wilbur died of Alzheimer’s disease, according to her husband, Paul.

As an archer, Wilbur had finished second at two world championships —- one in Pennsylvania, the other in England —- before breaking through at the Olympics.

"She was proud she could do that for her country and herself," Paul Wilbur said.

Services have been set for 11 a.m. Thursday at Slininger-Rossow Funeral Home, 119 W. Lincolnway St., in Jefferson. Visitation will be available beginning at 9 a.m. Wednesday at the funeral home, with family greeting friends from 6-8 p.m.

The family has asked for memorials to be sent to the Greene County Community Center or national Alzheimer’s Association.

Read more in tomorrow’s Register.

*

Someone at the paper obviously has read what I wrote about the spelling of Wilber's name being incorrect on the Register's website.

The name has since been corrected.

Let's hope the spelling of Wilber's name is correct in the obituary that appears in tomorrow's print edition of the newspaper.

Paul "Skeeter" Wilber, Doreen's husband, would appreciate it.

*

Speaking of Skeeter Wilber, notice in the story I wrote about Doreen going into the Iowa Sports Hall of Fame that he first heard she was an Olympic gold medalist by hearing it on the radio.

Unbelievable.

*

Here's the story I wrote about Wilber more than 27 years ago:

'72 Olympic archery medalist Wilber into Register 'Hall'

RON MALY • Register Staff Writer • April 5, 1981

Jefferson, Ia. -- As far as Doreen Wilber can tell, she's not related to Robin Hood, that legendary archer who roamed Sherwood Forest.

"Robin Hood probably wasn't all that good an archer, anyway," Wilber said, a trace of a smile coming over face.

One thing's for sure -- Ol' Mr. Hood would hava a battle royal on his hands if he ever chose to go one-on-one with Wilber in the bow-and-arrow business.

The 51-year-old housewife from here is, or was, as good as they come.

Indeed, she could well be the subject of a trivia test at any time, in any place.

The question: Name the Iowa housewife who is the only female athlete from our state to win an Olympic gold medal.

The answer: Doreen Wilber, who stood proudly as the National Anthem was played while receiving the Olympic gold at the 1972 Games in Munich, West Germany.

"Somehow, it was an even bigger thrill to be on that stand, hearing the Anthem, with a Russian on one side of me and a Pole on the other," Wilber says now.

And today, Doreen Wilber needs to apologize to no archer anywhere. her gold medal still glitters as she carefully holds it in her hands, as she poses to be photographed on a warm, sunny afternoon.

The World's Best -- that's what she was. Now she's an archer who puts in only token appearances at big tournaments, but it's time she became the 96th member of The Sunday Register's Iowa Sports Hall of Fame.

Welcome to the club, Doreen.

THERE IS no complicated explanation as to how the lady got started as an archer.

It all began in 1957 when her husband, Paul -- better known as "Skeeter" -- took up field archery to sharpen his eye for the hunting season.

The Wilbers are childless, so Doreen went along just for somthing to do.

"I didn't like it for about two years," Doreen admits now.

But it wasn't long before it was the lady of the house, not the man, who was the serious archer. It wasn't long before Doreen was the one winning all the championships.

But it was the competition that turned her on. Certainly not the killing. To some, an arrow is a weapon. To Doreen Wilber, it isn't.

"I've never cared about hunting," she explained. "I don't like to kill things.

"I love animals. I like everything -- birds, squirrels, stray cats, you name it."

But get this lady in front of a target, with that bullseye staring at her, and it's a completely different story.

Then she's a dynamite.

Archery, as a sport, was something that fit Wilber perfectly.

"I have a strong back and strong shoulder muscles," explained the 5-foot 6-inch, 135-pounder. "Plus that, I'm a very cool person. Nothing upsets me when I'm on that line."

Yes, cool. If Doreen Wilber is anything, she's cool. A freight train could be zooming in on her, but if it was time to shoot she'd not hear it.

Fortunately, there were no confrontations with trains in Munich. Just a couple of women with jawbreaking names, and she calmly withstood the pressure of their presence very well.

In the end, it was the American -- the woman who lives in the neat home on 21/2 acres of countryside -- who turned on the diesel power and whipped the field.

"In all," Wilber said, "I beat 39 other women in the Olympics. Irena Sydovska of Poland was second and Emma Gaptchenko of Russia was third."

DOREEN INSISTS "nothing upsets me on the shooting line.

"Even when I shoot a bad arrow, I don't get angry," she commented. "Some people shoot a bad arrow and blow sky high. I never have.

"Actually, I've never started well in any tournament. After the first day at Munich, I was in seventh place. But, like in most other tournaments, I was consistent. I moved into first place on the last day."

Wilber was away from home for seven weeks and spent three of them in Munich, preparing for and winning the title. The '72 Games were, in some aspects, sad ones because of killings in the Olympic village.

"I was staying just two or three blocks from where the terrorists did the shooting," Wilber said. "But I didn't hear the gunshots.

"We actually hadn't started our competition yet. It was to begin the next day. Because of the killings, we started a day late."

Wilber closed with 2,440 points out of a possible 2,880 and won the gold medal by 14 over Sydlovska.

Skeeter didn't make the trip because he had to stay home and work (he repairs cars and also is an excellent woodcarver). He and Doreen had decided they wouldn't make the trans-Atlantic telephone calls while she was away, so Skeeter discovered his wife was a gold medalist by listening to the radio.

"I didn't do any celebrating after winning," said Doreen. "By the time I finished with everything, it was getting late. I was so tired I was about to collapse, so there was no partying."

But she did manage to get to one or two of the beer halls while in Munich, and admits she stole a mug from one of them.

You're excused, Doreen. Everybody steals a mug from the beer halls of Munich.

WILBER DIDN'T give any thought to going to the 1976 Olympics. There was nothing else to prove, not with that gold medal sitting in her home.

In fact, she has cut down her on her competitive meets considerably in recent years.

"I still go to the national tournament," she said, "so I can see the people. It's always held in early August in Oxford, Ohio.

"I've won it four times, and last year -- after practicing about two weeks -- I finished 12th in a field of 100. The last time I won the championship was 1974."

Doreen wonders if she could ever again "get the right attitude for a big meet.

"I doubt I could," she commented. "You have to really want to go out there and compete, and that takes quite a toll on your body. Physically, I think I could stand up to any of the archers, but mentally I don't think I could handle it."

The woman who has won so many state championships that officials stopped counting long ago, said she gets a kick out of listening to photographers apologize for clicking and whirring their cameras when she's in the middle of a tournament.

"You expect complete silence," she said, "but sometimes that's not always possible. But I've learned to block everything out when I'm at the line.

"Occasionally, a photographer will say, 'I'm sorry I made noise,' but I tell him or her, 'That's all right, I didn't hear a thing.' I just don't panic or get nervous."

Archery has made a world traveler out of Wilber. In addition to her trip to West Germany, she's been to places such as South Africa, Russia, England, France and Puerto Rico.

Although Wilber hasn't entered the state tournament for quite a while, she's confident enough to think she could win the title if she'd decide to join the field.

"I don't want to sound like I'm bragging," she said, "but I think I could beat anyone in the state right now."

Don't bet against her. Don't forget, she's cool.

Cool and still strong.

"Here," she said, "feel this arm.

"Solid, right?"

Solid, Doreen.

On a Roll

The University of Iowa football team won its second consecutive Big Ten game Saturday with its dominating 38-16 victory over Wisconsin at Kinnick Stadium in Iowa City.

However, that modest but important accomplishment isn’t the only winning streak the Hawkeyes' intercollegiate athletic program and Iowa’s football program in particular are enjoying these days.

Last week, the NCAA issued its annual report on the academic achievement of the 322 NCAA Division I intercollegiate athletics programs, and Iowa and its student-athletes are on a nice roll in this competition as well. The report gives graduation information about students and student-athletes entering in 2001. This is the most recent graduating class for which the required six years of information is available.

The “Graduation Success Rate” [GSR] for UI student-athletes was 86 percent –- a mark that is eight points higher than the national average, two points better than Iowa’s number a year ago [84 percent] and five points better than its 2006 number [81 percent].

The upward trend in the GSR for the UI is mirrored in the numbers for the Iowa football program. The NCAA reported a GSR of 75 percent for student-athletes in the sport of football – a mark that is eight points better than the national average [67 percent], two points better than last year [73 percent] and 10 points better than Iowa's 2006 number [65 percent].

GSR measures graduation rates at Division I institutions and includes students transferring into the institutions. The GSR also allows institutions to subtract student-athletes who leave their institutions prior to graduation as long as they would have been academically eligible to compete had they remained.

Iowa ranked third in the Big Ten among its football peers behind only Northwestern [92 percent] and Penn State [78 percent]. Iowa also ranked third among its peers in the Big Ten when comparing the GSR for all student-athletes –- 86 percent and behind only Northwestern [97 percent] and Penn State [89 percent].

“First and foremost, credit goes to our student-athletes. They are seizing the academic opportunity that is available to them and enjoying great success and that is simply fantastic,” said Gary Barta [pictured at the left], Iowa's athletic director.

“I also want to give credit to our coaching staff and our administrative staff in our academic support areas. Academic success by student-athletes at the UI is not new. We have had success for years and we will for many, many years to come,” added Barta.

“We have this success because of the commitment of our coaches and support staff. They work each day to provide the very best opportunities and experiences for the young people in our program, both athletically and academically. One of the many by-products of this effort are the numbers in these reports.”

*

This story was written and distributed by the University of Iowa sports information office.

It's Possible for Iowa To Run the Table

Iowa City, Ia. -- I keep changing my mind about Iowa's football team.

After predicting before the season began that the Hawkeyes would to 8-4 and play in a bowl game, I later wondered if they'd finish under .500.

My pessimism followed the consecutive early-season losses to Pittsburgh, Northwestern and Michigan State -- certainly not a who's who of collegiate football power.

Now, however, I'm thinking Iowa can win the rest of its regular-season games.

That's right, I've observed so much improvement in this team that I can see it winning at Illinois and Minnesota and beating Penn State and Purdue in Iowa City.

That would put Kirk Ferentz and his players at 9-3 heading into what would be a very attractive bowl game.

Of the four remaining games, the toughest could be the Nov. 22 finale at Minnesota.

It will be the last collegiate game in the Metrodome in Minneapolis [Minnesota is building a new on-campus stadium in which the Gophers will play outdoors instead of indoors at the Metrodome], and Iowa-Minnesota games are always emotional anyway.

I certainly can see Iowa winning at Illinois, which will always be beatable as long as Ron Zook is the coach, and against Penn State, where Joe Paterno usually screws up a couple of games or more each season -- whether he's coaching from the press box or on the field.

Purdue is terrible, so that'll be no problem.

I'm not saying a 4-0 finish is a given, but it's possible.

It's up to the players and coaches to make sure it happens.

*

Speaking of the Big Ten, I can't believe how bad Wisconsin has gotten this season. The Badgers were very ordinary in Saturday's 38-16 loss to Iowa, and I don't see things getting much better very soon in Bret Bielema's [pictured at the left] program.

*

These are also tough days at Iowa State. It makes me wonder -- again -- why Dan McCarney [pictured at the right] was fired as the Cyclones' coach. If there's been some improvement in the Cyclones' program since, I wish somebody would point it out to me.

*

The best little baseball story in America has suddenly gone sour. Tampa Bay is doing everything possible to ruin a scenario that I thought could result in the Rays seizing the World Series.

If the Red Sox win tonight's American League playoff game, Tampa Bay won't even be in the World Series.

What a shame.

*

A guy told me he saw Marc Hansen wandering through the Kinnick Stadium press box yesterday.

I wondered if he was going to be on the field after the game to see if Bret Bielema was again going to call an opposing coach a "big prick."

That's what Bielema, then an Iowa linebacker, called Iowa State's Jim Walden after his final game against the Cyclones in 1992.

Hansen somehow talked his editors into letting him use the term "big prick" in his newspaper column the day after the game.

Bielema later was ordered to apologize to Walden, but I actually didn't see anything wrong with what he called a guy who often talked a big game but was never able to beat Iowa.

I didn't get around to seeing Hansen in the press box yesterday, probably because I spent so much time visiting with Derek and Rhonda Hill in their luxury box elsewhere in the press box.

Maybe next time.

*

While in Iowa City, I talked to a guy who attended the Register's 20-Year Club get-together a week ago.

I skipped it because I had more important things to do. I think my grandchildren had a soccer game or something that afternoon.

Anyway, I asked about the program at the retirees' lunch.

"Good food," I was told.

Nothing was said, though, about the speaker.

Rumor [unconfirmed, of course] has it there was an empty speakers' platform and Carol Hunter, editor of the paper's editorial pages, was behind the microphone.

Legendary Broadcaster Grant Price Dies

Ron,

I wanted to pass this sad note to you and your readers who follow Iowa television news for a long time.

Grant Price, the legendary news anchor for WMT-TV [now KGAN] and news director at KWWL-TV, passed away early this morning after a long illness. Grant was 86.

We were informed of his death about noon at Wartburg College prior to today's homecoming game between the Knights and Loras.

Grant capped off his broadcasting career by teaching broadcast journalism at Wartburg.

Price was one of the most trusted and respected newsmen in Eastern Iowa, especially in the Waterloo/Cedar Rapids market.

I am sure that a large volume of accolades will be forthcoming by many who have blessed by his mentorship, and his stellar professionalism in television news in this state.

Below is the link to the story, published courtesy of the Waterloo-Cedar Falls Courier.

http://www.wcfcourier.com/articles/2008/10/18/news/top_sto/doc48fa16228cff9335362883.txt

R.H.
Des Moines

*

Photo of Grant Price courtesy of the Waterloo-Cedar Falls Courier

Lyle Matthews Tells Me About Bill Osborne's Days As My Family's Paperboy Back In the Old Days At Cedar Rapids

I've written a few times recently about Lyle Matthews, a young fellow [he's about my age] I attended Lincoln Elementary and Wilson Junior and Senior High Schools with in Cedar Rapids

Lyle did an outstanding job of putting together the last couple of reunions of the 1953 class at Wilson, which gave me reason to exchange a number of e-mail messages with him.

I made it to Wilson's 40th reunion, but I wasn't able to attend either the 50th or the recent 55th. However, it was good to be able to touch base with some of the folks who made it to both get-togethers, including Lyle.

Matthews grew up in the area close to Lincoln. His family was even nearer the school than mine was. But it was a short walk to our classes there for both of us.

Here's his e-mail:

Hi, Ron,

"We have a bunch of old goats who golf on Monday mornings at various courses in and around Cedar Rapids. Recently, I talked to a guy who says he was your Register and Gazette carrier -- Bill Osborne. I had mentioned your blog being interesting and he said he used to carry your papers. I gave him your e-mail and blog address. You had mentioned going to Lincoln for all 6 years, and I did the same. I think you may have been just ahead of me at Lincoln.

"Looking forward to your next column."

Lyle Matthews
Cedar Rapids

"PS -- Miss Jeffries would certainly have been proud of you!!!"

[MORE FROM RON MALY: It's great hearing from you again, Lyle. And I'm glad you ran into Bill Osborne, who says he was our paperboy. I'm happy to hear that any paperboy -- especially one from the 1940s -- makes it into senior citizenship. I'm sure we called Bill Osborne "Billy" back in those days. Anyone named Bill was Billy, anyone named Ron was Ronnie and anyone named Tom was Tommy at the time. Say hello to Osborne for me, Lyle. I hope he made a million dollars or several and that he's still living high off the hog. That's what we expected everyone from Lincoln and Wilson to do, right? I came up a little short on that part of it, but I had fun trying. I also hope both of you guys are shooting 68s on the golf course. I know I do -- for nine holes anyway! Actually, Lyle, I attended Lincoln School for seven years, starting as a 4-year-old kindergarten student, then going from grades 1 through 6. By the way, Vera Jeffries was one of our talented teachers at Wilson. She taught English and journalism, and I thought a lot of her. I recall her telling me one day that she thought I should do some sort of writing when I grew up. As soon as I grow up, maybe I'll do just that. Good luck, Lyle, and stay in touch].

*

THE RIGHT THING TO DO

Hawkeye coach Kirk Ferentz did the right thing by suspending his son, University of Iowa redshirt freshman football player James Ferentz, for underage drinking after he was cited for underage drinking early Friday.

It was what you would expect from Kirk. Still, it was further embarrassment for the Hawkeye football program, and we all know how much the incident involving his son bothered Kirk and the rest of his family.

*

BRENLY COULD GO FROM CUBS' TV BOOTH TO BREWERS' DUGOUT

Baseball is such a goofy game that Bob Brenly, who has been the commentator on Chicago Cubs' telecasts in recent years, could wind up as the Milwaukee Brewers' next manager.

Dale Sveum, who was the Brewers' interim skipper at the end of the 2008 season, has been told he won't be the permanent manager. Brenly still wants to manage, and likely will get consideration by Milwaukee -- along with other guys around baseball who've been fired.

Brenly managed the Arizona Diamondbacks to a World Series title, but later was fired.

Ferentz Suspends His Son, Hawkeye Freshman Football Player James, After He's Cited For Underage Drinking

Iowa football coach Kirk Ferentz has suspended his son from the Hawkeyes' football team after he was cited for drinking underage.

The Associated Press reported that James Ferentz [pictured at the right], a freshman offensive lineman, was cited by Iowa City police for drinking underage early this morning.

Kirk Ferentz [pictured at the left] said he was extremely disappointed with his son's behavior. He says his son is suspended from all team activities for an indefinite time and will also be required to attend counseling sessions and perform community service for the next six weeks.

Kirk Ferentz says the fact that it is his son being punished "only complicates an already tough situation."

Drake Grad Marc Topkin Finally Gets To Write About a Winner At Tampa Bay

Jane Burns, who in my estimation is the best newspaper columnist, reporter and copy editor in Wisconsin, sent me an e-mail about a guy who was one of her classmates at Drake:

Ron,

"Thought you might be entertained to know that the Tampa Bay Rays' beat writer is a Drake grad [and former Register intern from a million years ago] named Marc Topkin. A classmate of mine at Drake. He's a St. Pete native who has been covering baseball at the St. Pete Times back before they even had a baseball team and were trying to steal the White Sox.

"Having covered the Hawks in their low years [I mean the old ones in the 60s and 70s], I figure you know a thing or two about covering a team that was terrible for so long and then suddenly a contender. It's the best kind of story of all, as you well know.

"Here's the St. Pete baseball blog that Topkin and another guy write:

http://blogs.tampabay.com/rays/

Jane Burns
The Capital Times
Madison, Wis.

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Topkin's bio in the St. Petersburg Times says he's "covered baseball for the Times since 1987 — from the lengthy effort to secure a team, to the awarding of the Tampa Bay franchise, and through each of the Rays seasons. He has traveled throughout the country with the team, as well as to Venezuela, Mexico and Japan, and has covered All-Star games and the World Series, as well as Super Bowls and the 2004 Olympics." I'm glad to see Topkin, like Jane Burns, has gone on to do well in the news business. There's something in my memory bank that says Topkin [pictured at the right] was turning into an investigative reporter very early in his writing life. I think it was when he was an intern at the Des Moines Register that he spotted a would-be Bulldog basketball player, in effect, auditioning in Drake Fieldhouse for a spot on the roster. The way I recall it, Topkin wrote a story for the Register, and Gary Garner [then the Bulldogs' coach] and the university's basketball program wound up being penalized by the NCAA. Afterward, I was talking to Garner about a number of things, including Iowa's Sportswriter of the Year Award -- something I won in 1977, 1978, 1904 and 1996. "You know who my sportswriter of the year is, don't you?" Garner said bitterly. "That kid Topkin." Another example, of course, of sportswriters, their editors and coaches not looking at certain situations the same way. Whatever, I'm glad Topkin finally has a successful Tampa Bay baseball team to cover. Now, let's make sure the Rays don't blow this whole thing in their series against the Boston Red Sox. As Jane Burns mentioned, I had plenty of experience covering losing teams in my working days. I had a huge role in covering 19 consecutive seasons of non-winning football at the University of Iowa, and I experienced plenty of losing seasons in football and basketball at Iowa State and Drake, too].

*

My West Coast Correspondent sent me this dispatch from Iliana Limon's blog in OrlandoSentinel.com about a basketball coach a lot of us around here know well:

"I think it's safe to say Southern Mississippi coach Larry Eustachy just served up the quote of the day. While other coaches said they expect this to be one of the best season ever for Conference USA men's basketball, Eustachy argued the league already was very strong last year. He said the problem was the conference was overshadowed by Memphis' dominant season. Eustachy pointed out Memphis thrashed a lot of nonconference teams and the talent in Conference USA shouldn't have been dismissed. Eustachy did agree that the league will be even tougher this year, but he didn't want last year's success to be overlooked.

"Then he shared this gem: 'This mid-major crap is crap. This is a high-major conference.'

"Memphis Coach John Calipari was sitting next Eustachy and covered his face while laughing at the blunt comment."

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Eustachy [pictured at the left], of course, is the former Iowa State coach who has found tough sledding at Southern Mississippi. I hope things improve for him in the upcoming season].

Nail the Furniture To the Floor

It's time to get back to reality--if there is such a thing in a world where everyone's 401K falls, and rises, by the minute

After 600 messages on that kind-of-strange communications tool called twitter, I'm writing about a guy who throws chairs. Talk about weird

Nail the furniture to the floor. Bobby Knight did a show on an Indianapolis public TV station and said he may return to coaching. He needs help and so do the rest of us

Excuse me while I get a Kleenex for my tears because the season is over for everybody's star, Manny Ramirez. Yeah, sure

Sorry, Phillies. You're good, and I know you're in the World Series. But Tampa Bay is my new team

More ahead later in the week--Valley's game Friday night, Iowa-Wisconsin Saturday in Iowa City. Frankly, I hope the weather warms up

I began my football viewing early this week. Concordia Academy of St. Paul 21, Blake 7 in a rare Wednesday game. No school at Concordia Thursday or Friday

Grandparents Day at Central Lutheran in St. Paul was a whopping success. Grandparents and grandkids all enjoyed the big day

Bo Schembechler and Fritz Crisler wouldn't believe it. Both are rolling around in their graves. Benny Oosterbaan, too

Here's what losing to Toledo gets you: Michigan's first-year football coach already gets a vote of confidence from his boss

Americans have a hell of a lot more on their minds these days than what's wrong with the news business. They're trying to pay their bills

Otherwise, it's a pretty fair group. Oh, well, very few people will pay attention to what's said other than those on the panel

Too bad Gartner is cluttering up a journalism discussion at Drake. He was fired by NBC News, D.M. Register and was in Board of Regents mess

*

Photo of a much younger Bobby Knight throwing a chair courtesy of the Associated Press

I'm on the Tampa Bay Baseball Bandwagon. How Can Anyone NOT Be?

The Red Sox are down 3 games to 1. People keep saying Boston has been through this before. But not against a solid Tampa Bay team

It's Grandparents Day today at Central Lutheran School in St. Paul. I know it's going to be a fun day for this grandpa

Good luck to Jay Wagner in the coming days. He's a friend of a lot of us

Shame on Lou. And shame on him for not getting more out of his Cubs in either the 2007 or 2008 National League playoffs. Embarrassments.

I guess one reason I like the Rays is that Lou Piniella gave up on 'em when he was their manager. He quit before his contract was up

Sure, I want the Phillies to end it for the Dodgers, but how can anyone not be rooting for low-rent Tampa Bay against Boston? What a great baseball story!

I guess it could've been worse. At least No-Name Ballfield Club wasn't on the list. Evidently there were some standards

I think Nick's is a good place to eat, and I've been there plenty of times. But I've never heard anyone talk about a business lunch there

What the hell is a "business lunch" and who cares about one? No wonder newspaper circulation is in a freefall

Mike Condon reminds me that Stairs is an ex-Cub. The way I recall it, he played RF after Sosa. Wouldn't you know it, he couldn't hit!

In big games like that, the Cubs can't hit; teams like the Phillies rise to a different level and win. Take that, Manny!

The difference between the Cubs and teams that win--guys like the Phillies' Flyin' Hawaiian and Matt Stairs, whose homers beat the Dodgers

*

Photo of Tampa Bay Rays at the top courtesy of Getty Images

I'm Ready for Some Volleyball, And Brad Childress Might Be, Too

St. Paul, MN -- We're spending a few days in St. Paul/Minneapolis, where our timing has been...well, less-than-perfect.

The weather has turned November-like. But Grandparents' Day tomorrow at Central Lutheran School and a couple of Jerika's volleyball games will make it seem like mid-70s temperatures all over again.

The big news in these parts -- as is the usual case -- centers around the Vikings, or rather their coach.

In other parts of the nation, that would be unusual. After all, the big college team here -- the one at the University of Minnesota -- has a 6-1 record after upsetting Illinois last week.

Thanks to a soft non-conference schedule and a soft Big Ten Conference, the Gophers are -- pardon the expression -- already bowl-eligible.

But people don't spend much time thinking about the Gophers. It's pro-this and pro- that in these two towns they call the Twin Cities.

The college team might as well be the cousin you don't want to spend any time with.

The Vikings' coach is someone named Brad Childress, who is pictured at the right.

Childress is one of those guys who could be described this way around here:

An empty cab pulled up in front of the Metrodome, and Brad Childress got out.

Even though the Vikings won Sunday's NFL game over Detroit, 12-10, the fans don't like him very much.

A lot of them wish he'd go away.

The Question of the Day poll at the bottom of page 1 in the Pioneer Press sports section is: "Should the Vikings Fire Brad Childress?"


Because the fans don't like Childress, neither do a lot of the reporters.

Reporters have learned in this era of public journalism that they'd better agree with the fans. If they don't, they'll be looking for work. But, even if they do, they might be looking for work. Ask Mike Malloy, a former full-timer at the Des Moines Register.

When a coach has the fans and the reporters against him, it's not a good combination.

There was a rather large picture [top photo] on the front of the St. Paul Pioneer Press sports section this morning that showed a woman wearing a T-shirt that had a likeness of Childress on the front, with the message, "FIRE THE DUMB ASS COACH."

The woman was holding up a bottle of something.

I don't know if the picture was posed or not. It could have been.

But maybe the woman who thinks Childress is a dumb ass behaves that way all the time.

At home as well as at the Metrodome.

Yep, they take their Vikings football pretty seriously around here.

People in and around Iowa City get worked up with the things Iowa's offensive coordinator Ken O'Keefe does during a game. But then it's forgotten.

The problems with Brad Childress here are ongoing. When women wear T-shirts that call him a dumb ass and want him fired, that's pretty serious stuff.

I was wondering how Childress' family feels when they open a newspaper and see things like those being written these days -- after a victory.

Childress says he doesn't hear what the fans say. But I know he's not telling the truth.

Coaches always hear things like that. And they always know what's in the paper, whether they say they do or not.

It's a good thing they pay Childress a lot of money to do what he does.

*

Photo of bottle-waving fan courtesy of the St. Paul Pioneer Press.

Old Man Kurt Warner [Don't Forget, He's 37] Is Completing a Career-Best 70 Percent Of His Passes

I was taking my late-night walk around the neighborhood last night when a guy carrying a flashlight came across the street.

He wasn't a policeman.

Maybe just someone looking for Tony Romo.

"The Cowboys lost today," the guy said.

Romo, of course, is Dallas' quarterback.

I didn't tell the guy with the flashlight, but I'm someone who doesn't care if the Cowboys ever win another game.

"Did Kurt Warner have a good game?" I asked, trying to be pleasant.

"Actually, he had a pretty good day," he said.

Well, I guess.

In Arizona's 30-24 overtime victory, Warner showed he isn't ready for the scrap heap.

Not yet anyway.

One of the state of Iowa's gifts to the National Football League had quite a day for himself.

Warner completed 22 of 30 passes for 236 yards and two touchdowns in Arizona's sixth straight victory at home. He has completed 70 percent of his passes this season, the best of his career.

He has two or more touchdowns in each of his last five games. Warner has the Cardinals in firm command of the NFC West standings and he is having one of his finest seasons at 37 years of age.

There have been times in recent years when people thought Warner [who is pictured] should be retired.

He was getting hurt a lot. He was getting sacked a lot. He fumbled a lot.

But here he is, a former Northern Iowa and Iowa Barnstormers quarterback who continues to play at a high level.

His pass to Larry Fitzgerald in the third quarter extended his streak of consecutive games with a passing touchdown to 14.

People were saying yesterday was a crazy day in the desert.

Romo threw for 321 yards. That's his 14th career 300-yard passing game, which passes Troy Aikman for the most such games in Dallas history.

"I can't remember one that was this crazy," Warner told reporters afer the game, "especially toward the end."

Now, I'm still wondering what that guy was doing in my neighborhood with the flashlight.

*

Bret Bielema has had some good football teams since he's been Wisconsin's coach.

This isn't one of them.

I watched part of the time on TV Saturday night when the Badgers lost at home to Penn State, 48-7.

It wasn't just a beating. It was a manhandling.

I can't imagine how Bielema can have his team, which is 0-3 in the Big Ten and 3-3 overall, at a high level for Saturday's game at Iowa, his alma mater.

If he does, it'll be the biggest recovery act since Cedar Rapids came back from the 2008 floods.

Consequently, I'm picking the Hawkeyes to win.

The way it looks to me, Badgerland is in a state of shock.

"For those reporters who have covered the Wisconsin football program since Bielema took over as head coach in 2006, Sunday night was both interesting and revealing," the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported.

"Less than 24 hours have passed since the Badgers suffered a 48-7 loss to No. 6 Penn State. Four Wisconsin players generally have been made available for interviews on Sunday nights. The exception this season came after the Fresno State game because the team had a bye that week.

"Last night, however, players were off-limits to reporters and all assistants were made available.

"Here are some of the highlights: Offensive coordinator Paul Chryst was encouraged by what he saw from backup quarterback Dustin Sherer in relief of starter Allan Evridge.

"Still, he is in no hurry to determine whether Evridge will remain as the starter against Iowa.

"Defensive coordinator Dave Doeren noted he received text messages from several members of the defense late Saturday. The common question: What can we do to get better as a unit?

"Every member of the starting unit and several reserves made their way to Doeren's office to talk about the play of the defense and go over video.

"'I didn't call anybody," he said. "They're resilient, determined and they're disappointed.'"

Don't ask Doeren whether the time has come to push the proverbial panic button.

"'It's never time to push the panic button," he said sternly.'"

*

Despite its recent problems -- including backup quarterback Phillip Bates quitting the team two days before Saturday night's 38-10 loss at Baylor -- I'm thinking Iowa State will play pretty well this week at home against Nebraska.

Indeed, I'm almost ready to pick the Cyclones to win.

Not yet, but almost.

I may have to check with longtime Husker fan Alive In Clive before making my final decision.

Iowa State can play pretty well at home, and Nebraska is certainly beatable. Everybody else is beating the Huskers.

*

Incidentally, I can't figure out why anyone is surprised that Bates left Iowa State without saying goodbye to coach Gene Chizik.

Frankly, by the time he left Bates had seen enough of Chizik and Iowa State.

It's time for the Cyclones and Bates to move on, and reporters should let them do it.

*

Did your blood boil when you saw that bench-clearing nothing-whatever last night in the Dodgers-Phillies National League playoff game?

Mine didn't.

It almost looked like something baseball commissioner Bud Selig ordered to improve the TV ratings of the series.

I don't think it did any good.

Thanks for Waking Me Long After This Was Over -- Rays Edge Red Sox, 9-8, In a Game That Ended At 1:35 a.m.

In a baseball game that ended at 1:35 a.m. in Tampa, Fla., and isn't in a lot of newspapers [including the one in Des Moines], the Rays stayed awake long enough to beat Boston, 9-8, in 11 innings in the American League playoff series.

Morning baseball -- that's what America needs more of.

The game lasted a whopping 5 hours 27 minutes.

Raise your hand if you made it to the end.

I almost did. I drifted off to dreamland in the top of the 11th.

I hope baseball commissioner Bud Selig had plenty of No-Doz.

All I know is, the one-time car salesman doesn't have any good sense. How in the name of Plymouth, Dodge, DeSoto and Chrysler would he agree with the TV folks to schedule a late-night game on a Saturday that most of America missed?

That and more, courtesy of my twitter account:

It makes sense to me to start those games earlier in the day so most of the U.S. can see 'em. But when did Bud Selig ever do anything smart?

"It's 1:30 [actually 1:35] in the morning and we pulled it out," the Rays' Evan Longoria told reporters after the marathon

Joe Maddon, the Rays' manager who wears horn-rimmed glasses, looked like to was ready to fall asleep a couple of times earlier

Tampa Bay beat the Red Sox 9-8 in 11 innings on B. J. Upton's sacrifice fly. I fell asleep in the top of the 11th

Nothing in your Sunday Register about it, of course, but Tampa Bay evened up the American League series in a game that lasted 5 hours 27 minutes

By the way, the Nittany Lions may be the best team I've seen all season. I'd rank 'em No. 1 in my poll. They're on Iowa's schedule

Joe Paterno coached from the press box in Penn State's easy victory. Something tells me that's where he should stay--not on the field

Penn State rips Wisconsin, 48-7. I've changed my mind about the Badgers. Iowa, too. I think the Hawkeyes can beat Wisconsin next Saturday

A long way to go to look so ugly: Baylor 38, Cyclones 10. Bates -- neither Phillip, jr., nor his dad -- would've made a difference

What Nile Kinnick would be saying about Iowa's 45-9 romp past Indiana and other football games at www.wesleyvaclav.blogspot

I'm assuming Mike Hlas is staying awake in the press box during all of this. If not, somebody please holler at him

The Hawkeyes are dominating the game so much that even much-maligned offensive coordinator Ken O'Keefe is getting rave reviews on TV

Indiana's football team doesn't have a pulse. Iowa has taken control 31-9 with 6 1/2 minutes left in the third quarter

I sure hope the guy finds a place for his kid to play quarterback.

Maybe somebody should call Phillip Bates, sr., in Omaha to see what he's pissed off about today

Indiana scored a last-minute touchdown to pull within 8 (the kicker missed the point!). Iowa better strap it on in the last half

Iowa leads Indiana 17-9 at the half. For a while, the Hoosiers looked like one of the worst teams I've ever seen. But wait....

I hope Valley wins the state 4-A title, but I'm not even sure the No. 1-ranked Tigers are the metro's best at www.wesleyvaclav.blogspot.com

I just saw gas at $2.79 a gallon in West Des Moines. The Bad news: I paid $2.83 a gallon a half-hour earlier at a place 2 miles further east

A classic case of a player's dad trying to tell a collegiate football coach how to do his job at www.wesleyvaclav.blogspot.com

Auburn fires its offensive coordinator 6 weeks into the season. Just wondering--do you suppose that idea will catch on elsewhere?

Iowa's football woes bring back memories of Jerry Burns to longtime fan Al Schallau at www.wesleyvaclav.blogspot.com

I think Ecker is miscast right now. He deserves better and I hope he's not burned out. I'd trust him with any story. The guy is good

Ecker was trying to find out what Iowa's new uniforms looked like. Somebody at Iowa told Fry, who got into it bigtime with him

The Ecker/Fry debate during one of Hayden's Tuesday press conferences was priceless. Neither guy would give in

I joke with Ecker a lot. I tell him folks at Iowa regarded him as a police reporter when he covered Fry/Hawkeyes. He's one of the very best

By the way, I told Jim Ecker of the Cedar Rapids Gazette he'd better get on the twitter bandwagon. He doesn't know what he's missing. Well, hell, maybe he does

*

Photo courtesy of Getty Images

I Hope Valley Wins the State 4-A Football Title, But I'm Not Even Sure the No. 1-Ranked Tigers Are the Best Team In the Metro

I've been writing all season about how the Des Moines Register regularly delivers a bigtime screwing to Valley High School of West Des Moines, the football team it has ranked as the best in the state in class 4-A.

Because the Tigers have been shortchanged by the paper [like getting one paragraph after some victories], I've had to get information on their road games from the stories carried in newspapers in such cities as Newton and Mason City.

I suppose nothing the paper does on Valley is going to make me happy. I mean Dan McCool -- a reporter who is as good as the paper has -- covered the Tigers in last night's 24-17 victory over Waukee at Valley Stadium [pictured at the right], and did his usual stellar job.

However, the editors buried the story on page 6 -- across from an ad for the Iowa Barnstormers..

Ridiculous.

I certainly disagreed with the headline, which said:

No. 1 Valley rolls on with win over Waukee

Rolls on? You've got to be kidding me.

Valley's players were in the fight of their football lives against Waukee.

This easily could have been a game that Waukee won.

The Warriors had a pass intercepted in the end zone in front of a huge crowd in a palace masquerading as a high school football stadium.

Had that not happened, Valley could be 6-1 now, not 7-0.

There certainly will be a time down the road when Waukee beats Valley. Waukee is a fast-growing city, and the high school there will be another Valley -- if not even better in athletics than Valley.

I've seen most of Valley's home games this season, and I'm not sure the Tigers are the best team in the metro, let alone the state.

For all I know, Johnston -- which also is 7-0 -- is the best team in Iowa -- maybe even better than the Cyclones and Hawkeyes.

We'll all find out, of course. The playoffs are just around the corner.

I hope Valley wins the 4-A championship, but I'm not confident of that happening.

Gary Swenson is sthe winningest football coach ever at Valley. Lee Crawford passed the torch to him in a ceremony on the field before last night's game.

Swenson has done a sensational job at the school. Other guys who coached Valley either couldn't beat Dowling or lost the big one in the playoffs at the UNI Dome in Cedar Falls.

Swenson has proved Valley can win the 4-A championship, and his team obviously will be among the favorites this year.

Whether Valley can win it all remains to be seen. Like I said, I'm not sure yet if the Tigers are even the best team in the area.

And I wouldn't bet you a bus token yet that Valley can beat City High of Iowa City if and when that matchup happens in the playoffs. City High has an outstanding football tradition on its side, and is very strong this season.

Stuff like that is what makes high school football in this state the major story it is. A newspaper that continues losing favor and circulation in the community and the state is a negative, but journalism critics keep telling me that young people don't read papers anyway -- so they don't expect anything except page 6 coverage on a morning when, unbelievably, mention is made of a struggling, below-average-at-best Iowa football team trying to stay in [pardon the expression] bowl contention and a a hockey team that rarely draws flies at Wells Fargo Arena is spread across the top of page 1.

*

I don't know many football fans from Ottumwa or North Des Moines subscribe to the Register, but they didn't have much to read about their teams today.

In a roundup of high school games on page 6 of the sports section, it says:

Ottumwa 41, North 7

Ottumwa, Ia. -- Final statistics were not provided to the Register.

Great stuff, huh?

Well, here's the Ottumwa-North story from the Ottumwa Courier:

Bulldogs win to set up East showdown

By KELLY TERPSTRA, Courier sports writer

OTTUMWA — Ottumwa senior Kyle Ward had two words to describe the pace of his Bulldog’s homecoming football contest versus Des Moines North on Friday night.

“Very long,” said the starting Bulldog center.

It was a late night for all involved in a 41-7 victory for head coach Zach Wigle’s Bulldogs. The game did not get over until 10:30 p.m, well past the usual stoppage time for a prep football contest.

The win pushed Ottumwa to 4-3 overall and 3-0 in the CIML Metro.

“The game started late with the freshman game not getting over early and homecoming festivities. A lot of penalties were called and I guess they just didn’t want to go home,” said Wigle.

The victory sets up a showdown at Des Moines East next week, with the winner almost certainly assured a conference crown with just one game to go in the regular season.

“That’s the one we’ve been playing for,” said Wigle.

Ottumwa struck first on a 30-yard interception return for a touchdown by junior safety Nick Donlin. The pick-sick was Ottumwa’s fourth defensive score for a touchdown.

Ottumwa junior cornerback Michael Wetrich has the other three. Wetrich did not play as he was not able to get back in time after helping his Bulldog boys golf squad to a first-place standing after day one of the Class 4A State Tournament.

Ottumwa rushed for almost 300 yards and was led by senior tailback Adam Bowling’s 117 yards. Bowling scored Ottumwa’s final touchdown of the first half to make it 26-7 at the break.

After Donlin’s game-changing play, North hooked up on 80-yard screen pass for six points after Lance McGregory raced into the end zone on the right sideline.

That would be all the scoring North could muster, as the Bulldog defense came up with several key stops, none bigger than Ottumwa senior cornerback Alex Kelly’s breakup of a fourth-and-goal pass.

Ottumwa also forced a safety, those two points tacked on to the scoreboard to make it 28-7.

OHS junior quarterback Adam Goodvin completed only four passes on the night but three went for touchdowns. He hooked up with senior wideout and all-state candidate Clint Utter for two of the scores. Utter hauled in a nine-yard score on a fade route with 2:38 left in the first quarter to give OHS a 14-7 lead. Utter broke loose with 5:36 left in the third on a post route and took it the distance for a 50-yard convergence with the goal line.

Goodvin’s final touchdown pass went to junior wingback Ben Lott for 10 yards in the final quarter.

*

I earlier mentioned one of the hockey teams in town -- the one with the embarrassing and ridiculous nickname of Iowa Chops.

They were all over page 1 [as well as page 3] of the paper this morning, whether they deserved it or not.

My question the other day was what happened to Lisa Colonna [pictured at the left], the reporter who covered the hockey teams -- all of them -- the pro basketball team in town, No-Name baseball team, the Drake football team and maybe even participated in the Sally Mason coverage in Iowa City and the Parkersburg tornado.

I wondered if Lisa was on vacation. I wondered if she'd found work in the mailroom at Wells Fargo. I wondered if she was waiting on tables at Village Inn.

Biz Buzz certainly shed no light on where Lisa was. But, hell, Biz Buzz didn't say anything about Jane Norman being dumped from the Register's Washington Bureau either. I guess Biz Buzz was too busy trying to find out everybody's birthday.

Biz Buzz also didn't say anything about Brandon Cleaver -- the guy who didn't know the University of Northern Iowa is in Cedar Falls, not Rapids -- was dumped from the sports department and was supposed to be a "zones" reporter.

Now Cleaver has left the paper and, I guess, the area.

Anyway, I missed Lisa's sports blogs. I missed her coverage of all two dozen Des Moines teams she covered.

It turns out Lisa, sadly, is no longer a sportswriter.

"I now cover Des Moines' south side for the Register," she writes in the online version of the paper. "You may remember me from the sports section, where my main beat was hockey. I'm a Des Moines native and have worked at the Register since May 2000."

So Lisa still has a blog. Man, I don't know what we'd do without that.

*

Now I'm wondering what happened to Workbytes, the blockbuster Monday morning column that's been authored by one or two dozen different people over the years.

Some of them, I think, now are drawing unemployment checks. Or should be.

What's important is that I haven't seen Workbytes lately either.

I'll see if Biz Buzz has something on it soon. If not, I'll find out and report back to you. I have my sources, you know.

The 1953 Kids From Wilson High School In Cedar Rapids Had a Great Time At Their 55th Reunion

Man, have those years flown by in a hurry.

At least that's what I think.

My 1953 graduating class at Wilson High School in Cedar Rapids celebrated its 55th reunion recently.

The awful flooding in Cedar Rapids in the summer of 2008 dominated the conversation at the dinner, but that didn't stop the Ramblers -- school colors blue-and-gold -- from having a great time over their food at the Longbranch.

Pictured above are those members of the class who attended the reunion. Here are their names:

Row 1, left to right; John Tessman, Duane Rinderknecht, David Tisl, Colleen Dolezal Kullmer, Vance Blue, Janet Dyal Bostwick.

Row 2, left to right; Janet Hils Hensch, Norma Gregory, Nancy Ipsan Schmidt, Barbara Tvrdik Skogman, Shar Spina Tomash, Lon Stolte, Elaine Pospishil, Jan Stodola Joens, Lois Paulson Stolte.

Row 3, left to right; Bob Koutny, Lyle Matthews, Edward Reif, Richard Vavra, Shirley Plattenberger Lannom, Bob Sirowy, Donna Paulson Boyle, Joy Rollins Ross, Frank Joens, Carol Moneypenny Miller.

*

Since I'm on the subject of class reunions, here's something Lyle Matthews -- one of my Wilson classmates and the guy who was chairman of the last two reunions of the '53 gang -- sent to several of us:

THE CLASS REUNION

Every ten years, as summertime nears,
An announcement arrives in the mail,
A reunion is planned; it'll be really grand;
Make plans to attend without fail.

I'll never forget the first time we met;
We tried so hard to impress.
We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars,
And wore our most elegant dress.

It was quite an affair; the whole class was there.
It was held at a fancy hotel.
We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined,
And everyone thought it was swell.

The men all conversed about who had been first
To achieve great fortune and fame.
Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine houses
And how beautiful their children became.

The homecoming queen, who once had been lean,
Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.
The jocks who were there had all lost their hair,
And the cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.

No one had heard about the class nerd
Who'd guided a spacecraft to the moon;
Or poor little Jane, who's always been plain;
She married a shipping tycoon.

The boy we'd decreed 'most apt to succeed'
Was serving ten years in the pen,
While the one voted 'least' now was a priest;
Just shows you can be wrong now and then.

They awarded a prize to one of the guys
Who seemed to have aged the least.
Another was given to the grad who had driven
The farthest to attend the feast.

They took a class picture, a curious mixture
Of beehives, crew cuts and wide ties.
Tall, short, or skinny, the style was the mini;
You never saw so many thighs.

At our next get-together, no one cared whether
They impressed their classmates or not.
The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal;
By this time we'd all gone to pot.

It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores;
We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans.
Then most of us lay around in the shade,
In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.

By the fiftieth year, it was abundantly clear,
We were definitely over the hill.
Those who weren't dead had to crawl out of bed,
And be home in time for their pill.

And now I can't wait; they've set the date;
Our sixtieth is coming, I'm told.
It should be a ball, they've rented a hall
At the Shady Rest Home for the old.

Repairs have been made on my hearing aid;
My pacemaker's been turned up on high.
My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth have been boiled;
And I've bought a new wig and glass eye.

I'm feeling quite hearty, and I'm ready to party
I'm gonna dance 'til dawn's early light.
It'll be lots of fun; But I just hope that there's one
Other person who can make it that night.

Author Unknown

The Classic Case Of a Player's Dad Trying To Tell a Collegiate Football Coach How To Do His Job

To me, this football mess at Iowa State sounds like the classic case of "A Father Trying to Tell the Coach How To Do His Job."

It was Phillip Bates, sr. -- the father of Phillip Bates, jr., who yesterday informed the Iowa State athletic department that his son was quitting the football team, effective immediately.

Bates also requested a scholarship release from the school -- something he will get.

Frankly, I wouldn't want Bates, jr., [pictured at the right] around if his dad kept getting in the way of the decision-making.

Young Bates didn't play in the Cyclones' 35-33 loss last Saturday to Kansas, so now he has quit the team.

The announcement was made by his dad.

This isn't something new, of course. Fathers of players get involved with football decisions -- basketball decisions and maybe volleyball decisions, too -- often at the college level.

Every dad wants the best for his kid. That goes for me, too.

But, in the end, it's got to be the coach who decides who his quarterback is -- or who any of his other starters are.

It's hard telling how many phone calls have been made in the past by Phillip Bates, sr., to Iowa State's athletic department, wondering when Phillip Bates, jr., was going to get more playing time.

I certainly wouldn't want that headache if I was a coach.

It's best for all concerned that young Bates gets a fresh start somewhere else.

I'm sure the father of Jake Christensen, the quarterback who lost his starting job at Iowa, isn't doing cartwheels over coach Kirk Ferentz's decision to bench his kid.

I'm sure Jake isn't all that thrilled about it, either, that Ricky Stanzi is the No. 1 quarterback and that he [Christensen] didn't play a minute in last week's 16-13 loss at Michigan State.

It's anybody's guess where Christensen will be at this time next season.

I'm just happy he didn't pack his bags and go back home the minute it was evident to him that Stanzi was Ferentz's guy.

Of Bates, jr., Iowa State coach Gene Chizik [picured at the left] said on the school's athletic website, “I am disappointed that Phillip is quitting our team.

"Although I understand his desire to be a starting quarterback, I am extremely disappointed that he is quitting two days prior to a game.

"However, we will give him his release, continue to support him academically and honor his scholarship for the rest of the fall semester.”

Bates, an Omaha native, played in four games this season at quarterback and completed 11 of 24 passes for 137 yards and two touchdowns.

He was the Cyclones’ second-leading rusher with 166 yards. As a true freshman in 2007, Bates caught five passes while playing receiver.

Adios, Phillip, jr., my boy. I mean Phillip, jr., Phillip, sr.'s boy.

I hope you didn't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

Iowa State's football program will somehow get along without you.

Iowa's Woes Bring Back Memories Of Jerry Burns' Teams To Al Schallau

There's plenty of obvious unrest among the fans of some of the collegiate football teams you and I pay attention to, and I'm getting a taste [via e-mail] of how they feel:

First one to the plate is native Iowan and present Californian Al Schallau:

Ron,

"From 2002 through 2004, I was very impressed that Coach Kirk Ferentz, and the Iowa Hawkeyes usually 'found a way to win' some real tough games. Examples:

"2002: Iowa's overtime win over Penn State; and come-from-behind win over Purdue.

"2003: Iowa's 30-27 win over Michigan; and come-from-behind win in the rain at Wisconsin.

"2004: Iowa's super ugly 6-4 win over Penn State; and almost as ugly 29-27 win over Minnesota. How I love those ugly wins!! Then came Iowa's fantastic last second touchdown win over LSU in the Capital One Bowl.

"But that all started to change in 2005 with Iowa's overtime loss to Michigan at Iowa City, and that super ugly 28-27 loss at Northwestern. From that game onward, the Hawkeyes have 'found a way to lose' some very tough games.

"This brings back memories of the Jerry Burns years from 1961 through 1965. Coach Burns and his Hawkeyes had an almost uncanny ability to 'find a way to lose' the close games. Examples:

"1961: lost 9-0 at Purdue; lost to Minnesota 16-9 at Iowa City.

"1962: lost 7-0 to USC at Iowa City; lost 10-0 at Minnesota.

"1963: tied Washington State 14-14 at Iowa City; lost to Wisconsin 10-7 at Iowa City; lost 7-3 at Ohio State; tied Michigan 21-21 at Ann Arbor.

"1964: lost 19-14 to Purdue at Iowa City; lost to Ohio State 21-19 at Iowa City; lost at Minnesota 14-13.

"1965: lost 7-0 to Washington State at Iowa City; lost 16-13 at Wisconsin; lost to Purdue 17-14 at Iowa City; lost 14-3 to Minnesota at Iowa City; lost 9-0 at Northwestern; lost 21-17 at Indiana.

"In Jerry Burns' disaster year of 1965, the Hawkeyes finished 1-9, but lost six games that they could have won with a little better performances. Burns got fired after the 1965 season.

"But Kirk Ferentz will still be the Hawkeyes' head coach in 2009, 2010, 2011, and 2012, and presumably he will keep all of his assistant coaches with him for all those years. He doesn't have to worry about other teams trying to hire them away.

"The next four years will not be good years for the Hawkeyes. Besides their talent level going downward each year, Iowa has to resume playing Ohio State and Michigan. The future doesn't look good."

Al Schallau

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: It bothers me, too, Al, that Iowa has fallen into a bad habit of losing close games. That's got to start to start wearing on a team. The players, and certainly the fans, begin asking, "Well, when is it going to happen today?" in the second half of games. We were talking about this situation yesterday at the sportswriters' lunch, and I said I feel the Hawkeyes are in danger of losing again Saturday at Indiana, even though it's a game they should win. The trouble is, Indiana also feels it's a game it should win--and the Hoosiers are the team that's playing at home. In the accompanying photo are, left to right, former Iowa coaches Forest Evashevski, Jerry Burns and Hayden Fry, then present coach Kirk Ferentz].

*

Jeff Valadez, an Iowa fan from Bend, Ore., writes:

"I'm better now. After coming to the realization that the Hawkeyes were not up to the task of taking a win out of East Lansing [they of course teased us at the end but apparently have eliminated the placekicking position on the team!] I decided just to focus on the little things that could be seen as positives....Shonn Green is amazing! He looked pretty convincing as the conferences best back...the big pre-game show on Javon Ringer ended up looking like it was focused on the wrong guy. Congratulations to Shonn, it can't be easy getting big yards when the defense for the most part knows it's coming down after down. Can you imagine what we could do with someone like Brad Banks as the quarterback? I did get what I wanted this year with Ricky Stanzi now getting all the snaps, I like his touch and his calm, but it's hard to figure out whether or not he is really the right guy when he is getting sacked so darn much.

"The other positive thing is that the Hawkeyes are very good about moving the ball between the 20-yard lines!!!! But then I get this sick feeling in my stomach as they reach the red zone. What's coming? Fumble, interception or three-and-out settling for field goal?

"If we could have just executed on this part of the game this year, we could be 5-1 or even 6-0. What a bunch of lost opportunities.....but I'm complaining again, I promise to lower expectations [maybe we can call it Palin-ball] on future games [OK, I may have a hard time doing this against Indiana] and focus on the little things.

"Speaking of the little things, time to go fix an omelette, or is it omelet?

"Still debating whether to go to the Wisconsin game. I'd have to keep focused: the
tailgating, seeing old friends, hopefully a beautiful fall day, and Shonn Green , of course!

"By the way, I'd highly recommend the Blackberry, I had one previously and loved it...I switched to a Treo, which is a big step back, and will hopefully be going back again to the fruit.

"Take care,"

Jeff Valadez

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: A lot of Hawkeye fans share your misery, Jeff. They, too, get sick whenever the Hawkeyes get inside the red zone. Jeff's reference to the Blackberry was in my reply to my mention that I'm considering a Blackberry as my next cell phone].

*

Alive In Clive, not his real name, writes:

"Ron...Thanks for the rub in on Mizz U vs Dear ole Nebraska...Not much to say there. My grandson, Ryan , the oldest, spend Saturday evening with a buddy. His parents are NU fans so he had to watch the game. Also, they have a schnauzer. He had been completely indoctrinated by his Dad to the Hawkeyes so it was pure torture for him, and he took it out of poor old grandpa.

"Wait till next year....Some of us are losing time for waiting. At least there was no goat, curse or fan catch in the corner. Go, Cubs.

"It really hurt to see how far Bill Callahan and the former AD have let Nebraska slide. and to think he gave Callahan an extension right before the season. Bo Pelini needs to send everyone possible out on the road and find some talent. It ain't going to be easy. I wouldn't worry about bringing back the option or the NU of old. Get talent and build the offense around the plays I remain...

Alive in Clive

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: I had written after Nebraska's 52-17 loss to Missouri that I didn't think the Huskers would ever return to the glory years they had in the Bob Devaney and Tom Osborne coaching eras. It would seem they'd have a better chance than Iowa of restoring order because Nebraska doesn't have a school like Iowa State competing for the same players Iowa recruits. I know it's early, but I haven't seen any signs that Pelini -- a former graduate assistant at Iowa -- is someone who's going to have consistent 10-victory seasons].

*

Great restaurant review by W. E. Moranville of the Texas Roadhouse.

More Datebook reviews should be like that.

No wonder there were no customers in the Texas Roadhouse when the Register took a picture of the inside of the place.

Oh, I forgot. Datebook specializes in pictures of empty restaurants. Today's was one of a series.

*

The National Football Foundation & College Hall of Fame has selected five exceptional individuals as the best and the brightest in the country for their accomplishments as athletes, scholars and citizens, naming them as the NFF National High School Scholar-Athletes for 2008.

One of them is Nick Downey of Mundelein [Ill.] High School. Downey now plays for Drake.

Those named:

* Nick Downey - Midwest Region - Chicago Metro Chapter - Mundelein High School - Mundelein, Illinois

* Jordan Haynes - West Region - Sacramento Valley Chapter - Jesuit High School - Sacramento, California

* Andrew Luck - South Region - Touchdown Club of Houston Chapter - Stratford High School - Houston, Texas

* Jonathan Meyers - Northeast Region - Ralph DeSantis/Fairfield County Chapter - Greenwich High School - Greenwich, Connecticut

* Andrew Rodriguez - East Region - National Capital (Washington, D.C.) Chapter - Bishop Ireton High School - Alexandria, Virginia

'The Cubs Didn't Choke, But They Were Tight'

Scott Pierce [pictured above], Drake's football and women's basketball radio play-by-play announcer, has plenty on his plate today:

Ron,

"I did not see what happened to the Cubs coming at all. Not at all. I don't like the word 'choke.' I think it's a word that is thrown around easily and without thought.

"But the Cubs were at least tight. They looked like they were carrying the weight of 100 years around their necks. I thought at the time this stunt of an exorcism before game one was stupid. Why reinforce a negative? My buddy, Bob Dyer, disagrees with me and thinks I'm making something out of nothing. And while I don't think they lost because of a reinforced negative, I still don't like the idea.

"The attitude of Cubs management should be 'the first person that uses any word
around the office that a theasurus will match up with 'curse' is going to get accidently shot. And the second person will get a fate worse than that.'

"On another subject, did you notice [a recent] Des Moines Register sports section? I think it was page 3. There's an ad for a Christian men's group butted up against [and I mean right up against] a smaller ad for DVD specials at The Lion's Den adult store. I hope someone did that intentionally. I would hate to think someone is that incompetent."

Scott Pierce

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: And I didn't see the Cubs' collapse in the playoffs coming, either. Chicago now has lost nine consecutive playoff games, which is hard to believe--especially considering that the 2008 team was one of the best in baseball until the postseason You'd think the Cubs would have won at least one game just by accident. But I'm sure the Dodgers kept hearing and reading about how the Cubs were the best team in the National League, and they wanted to prove otherwise. Indeed, I think the Dodgers were a much better team than the Cubs by the end of the season, and they were much more motivated in the playoffs. I was bothered by the way the Cubs played after clinching the division championship. Manager Lou Piniella kept using a Triple-A lineup, seemingly afraid to give his regulars many innings. I don't know if that sent the right message to the team or not. Whatever, the Cubs were neither physically nor mentally prepared for the Dodgers. Chicago was as mismatched against Los Angeles as any team could be. Don't shortchange the Register on incompetency in the advertising department, Scott. The rest of the departments regularly display plenty of incompetency, so the ad department figures it might as well do the same].

*

NEWSPAPERS AND TV

More from Scott Pierce:

"The Des Moines Register again!

"In the business section, under Biz Buzz [authored by Lynn Hicks and Dave Elbert, pictured at the left].....

"'Local TV stations face the same problems with viewership that newspapers do with
circulation: Both are declining as more nontraditional options appear on the Internet and from satellite services.'

"Perhaps true, but very misleading. To compare, one newspaper in this town is losing readership. And people are NOT turning to another newspaper for the information they used to get in the Register.

"But the total number of televisions turned in the Des Moines metro area is as high, if not higher, than it ever has been. And local newscasts are doing just fine, thank you. While the public may not be turning to a local TV station for its national news or entertainment, they are getting that from other television sources.

"Bottom line, this column is about slanting the decline in newspaper circulation. If they can convince people that EVERYBODY is losing a share of their market, it makes it appear their problems are normal. But it is simply not true.

"It begs the question, if they will mislead about this, what else are they misleading the public about?"

[RON MALY'S COMMENT: Good question, Scott].

*

JOURNALISTIC ARSON

Other things bothering Pierce about the Register:

"Getting wrong the position a former Hawkeye great played.....writing an article about Yankee connections to the past and forgetting about a Dubuque Wahlert grad who was drafted 1st round in the mid-60s...writing about double-teaming a Valley offensive lineman...etc, etc...I just wonder if somebody isn't committing journalistic arson down there. Can any editor be that stupid? But then again, that same editor [Bryce Miller] commissioned a story about the most influential sports figures in Iowa and made himself No. 10. Wow."

[RON MALY'S COMMENT: As the sage Hayden Fry used to say, Scott, it goes on and on].

*

DAVE RANDALL

Speaking of the Register, longtime sports department and newsside copy editor Dave Randall is battling some health problems.

He sent me this e-mail:

"Due to medical reasons I do not get to the newsroom now [I am on disability] and my Register e-mail account will shut down soon. I can be reached at the following:

Dave Randall
2405 Tomlin Lane
Des Moines, Iowa 50317
(515) 265-8297

drand69@hotmail.com

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Good luck, Dave. You've always been a fighter, and you'll fight through this challenge, too. My thoughts are with you].

'Coach, Don't Worry About a Thing. If You Fall On Your Face and Win Just 25 Games, We'll Still Love You'

The Paul Morrison Room in the Knapp Center was full of reporters and people acting like reporters [pictured at the right] when first-year Drake basketball coach Mark Phelps talked about his team.

The only person missing was Morrison,the 90-year-old Drake historian who was probably running a 10K somewhere on the campus.

The way I figured, it must have been an official press conference because even Jim Ecker of the Cedar Rapids Gazette [shown in the foreground, wearing the red sweater] was present.

Phelps [shown in the AP photo at the top] is taking over for Keno Davis, whose 2007-2008 Bulldogs had a school-record 28-5 record.

So what are Drake's fans expecting this season?

"One guy told me, 'Coach, we won 28 games last season. Don't worry about a thing. If you fall on your face and win just 25, we'll still love you,'" Phelps joked.

At least I think he was joking. One of the Bulldogs' newcomers is No. 5, Sean Jones, a 6-11, 225-pound freshman from Carson City, Mich., who is shown doing a TV interview in the photo directly above this column.

Last season's success has brought about record interest from television. Athletic director Sandy Hatfield Clubb said the Bulldogs will appear five times on ESPNU and once on ESPN2.

"The game on ESPN2 is against Northern Iowa on Saturday, Jan. 17, at the Knapp Center, starting at 11:05 a.m.," Sandy said.

"On ESPNU, we will play at Iowa State Dec. 9,, Dec. 20 here against Iowa, Jan. 4 at Southern Illinois, Jan. 11 here against Wichita State, and Feb. 15 here against Illinois State." A number of Drake's games will be televised by Mediacom and Fox.

Wedding Bells

We attended a wedding a couple of evenings ago at a church that's 100-plus years old, and I wound up talking with a former Hawkeye basketball player and getting up to date with four women who spent their teenage years growing up in the house next-door.

The reason for all the socializing was the wedding of Diana Elder, 75, and Jim McDowell, 76, at the the Maple Grove United Methodist Church [pictured at the top of this column] at 9391 Ashworth Road in West Des Moines.

Diana and Al Elder were our first neighbors in the 2-story home just north of us in West Des Moines. Al was a former football player at Drake, and he became an accomplished photographer afterward. He died several years ago of congestive heart failure, but I had the pleasure of going to breakfast with him several times at the Urbandale Cafe before he went to the big stadium in the sky.

Diana and Jim had known each other in their days at Drake, but Jim knew he was ready to go to the Korean War, so that aborted any marriage plans. Consequently, both went their separate ways.

Jim's wife died a few years ago, so he contacted Diana when she lived in Urbandale. They wound up setting a wedding date for Sunday at the tiny Maple Grove church.

Very happy for Diana and Jim were Diana's four daughters, who are pictured at the right with their mother. Left to right are Amy, Jody, Diana, Julie and Liz.

When we received the wedding invitation, little did we know that a one-time Big Ten Conference basketball player, Judge Joel Novak, would pronounce Diana and Jim husband and wife.

In the photo directly above this column, Novak [left] is shown with the newlyweds, who will make their home in Omaha. Maple Grove United Methodist Church is pictured at the top of the page.

Diana and Jim had known Novak since he officiated at the wedding of one of Diana's daughters last summer.

Novak is a longtime district judge in Des Moines. He attended the University of Iowa on a scholastic-athletic basketball scholarship, graduating in 1962. Joel graduated from the University of Iowa College of Law in 1965.

For the next 14 years he practiced law in the Belin Law Firm in Des Moines, where he was known for his keen intellect and his strong work ethic. These attributes followed him to the bench after his appointment to the district court by Gov. Robert D. Ray in 1979.

On July 24, 2007, Novak received the Iowa Judges Association Award of Merit. The award is given annually to recognize a judge who has made extraordinary contributions to the Iowa Judges Association and who has been a role model to new judges.

When I saw Novak before the wedding ceremony, I told him I recalled seeing him play in a big Hawkeye game against Ohio State at old Iowa Fieldhouse in the early-1960s.

I then was working on the sports copy desk of the Des Moines Register, and Tony Cordaro -- then a reporter for the afternoon Des Moines Tribune -- obtained tickets that enabled my brother, Phil, and me to attend the game in an electric atmosphere at the fieldhouse.

It was a depleted Iowa team that played that night, but the Hawkeyes gave it a battle before losing.

"We missed the front ends of some one-and-one free throws late in the game," Novak recalled. "Ohio State had players such as Jerry Lucas and John Havlicek. But we had Don Nelson."

Nelson, a tireless center who went on to have an outstanding carreer with the Boston Celtics and is still coaching the Golden State Warriors of the NBA, averaged 15.8 points as a sophomore, 23.7 as a junior and 23.8 as a senior for Iowa teams coached by Sharm Scheuerman.

Novak was a starting guard with Joe Reddington in the 1960-61 and 1961-62 seasons. He was a scrappy playmaker who wasn't known for his scoring.

"Nelson used to joke that I helped him become a tremendous offensive rebounder," Novak told me with a laugh. "I missed so many shots that he got a lot of rebounds!"

Register Didn't Know What Position Calvin Jones Played, But the All-America Guard Was One Of Only 2 Hawkeyes To Have Jersey Number Retired

I was starting to put together a column on Calvin Jones the other day after a guy at our sportswriters'/editors'/columnists' lunch ripped into the Des Moines Register for yet another horrible and embarrassing writing and editing error.

Then I got detoured by some idiotic Chicago Cubs baseball.

So here I go again....

The guy in the lunch group pointed out that the paper, in a story about athletes with Iowa connections who have appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated, called Jones a running back.

Jones was on the magazine's cover Sept. 27, 1954. A reproduction of the cover, courtesy of Sports Illustrated, is at the top of this column.

Calvin Jones, as any follower of Hawkeye athletics knows, was a guard on both offense and defense in the days of one-platoon football.

He was one of only two football players at Iowa to have his number [62] retired. The other was Nile Kinnick [24], who won the 1939 Heisman Trophy and is the man for whom the stadium in Iowa City is named.

Ironically, the Register put Jones into its own Sports Hall of Fame in 1971. In those days, people at the paper must have been a lot smarter. At least they knew what position Calvin Jones played.

Other than being careless and being the victim of terrible reporting and terrible editing, the recent story on Jones as it pertained to Sports Illustrated covers was all right.

Well, at least I thought so.

Another guy in our group didn't even think the story should have been in the paper. He called it "flimsy."

Occasionally, it can be a tough crowd.

"Well, the only reason it was done," I pointed out, "was because it was based on an Iowa State player who was on the Sports Illustrated cover. People at the paper were looking for an angle on the Cyclones because they didn't have a game Sept. 27 and the editors wanted something in the paper on them.

"I can't help it they didn't know what position Calvin Jones played."

Immediately after the online version of the story on Jones appeared, a sharp-eyed reader noticed the error. Here's what he wrote:

"In the picture/article, Andrew Logue has Iowa's Cal Jones listed as a running back? I could swear Cal Jones was a lineman who won the Outland Award..."

There was no excuse for the writing and editing errors made on Jones, but there's no excuse for a lot of the things that happen at the Register these days.

All that had to be done to check on Calvin Jones was go to published records at the University of Iowa.

On page 126 of the 2008 Media Fact Book, it says this about Jones:

"Lineman, Steubenville, Ohio:

"No. 62:

"Jersey No. 62 was never worn more proudly than the three seasons Cal Jones donned it for Iowa.

"One of the most intimidating linemen to wear the old gold and black, Jones was a three-time first team all-Big Ten guard. He made 22 all-American teams during his career, including a record 15 in 1954.

"As team captain in 1955, Jones earned the prestigious Outland Trophy given to the nation's top interior lineman. He was a consensus all-American twice, one of only two at Iowa. Cal is an elected member of the National Football Foundation and Helms Athletic Foundation Halls of Fame.

"Jones most was inducted into the inaugural class of Iowa Lettermen's Club Hall of Fame. He was also chosen to the Iowa all-time football team in 1989.

"A physical education major at Iowa, Jones earned a 3.0 grade-point average. He earned praise from coach Forest Evashevski, who called him 'the greatest lineman I ever coached.'

"The two-way guard was part of the 'Steubenville Trio' [along with Frank Gilliam and Eddie Vincent] to come to Iowa from Steubenville, Ohio in the mid-1950s.

"Jones died as the result of a plane crash in Canada on Dec. 9, 1956."

The photo of [left to right] Gilliam, Vincent and Jones is shown at the right.

The fact that people at the Register are in the dark about Jones, as well as lots of other things, gives me a reason to again write about the outstanding lineman.

I was in school at Iowa during some of the time Jones was on the tremendous teams coached by Forest Evashevski.

I included Jones in my two best-selling books about Hawkeye football, the hard-cover "Tales from the Iowa Sidelines" and the updated version by the same title that followed.

Here's what I wrote about No. 62:

The Car Stopped, Cal Jones Got In

"It's a good thing that car stopped in Cal Jones's home in Steubenville, Ohio, in 1952.

"In the car were Frank Gilliam and Eddie Vincent, who went on to outstanding careers under Forest Evashevski at Iowa.

"Gilliam, an end, and Vincent, a running back, were part of Evashevski's first recruiting class. They were two-thirds of what was to be known as the 'Steubenville Trio.'

"The story goes that Gilliam and Vincent had their car packed with luggage when they happened to stop by the home of Jones on their way out of Steubenville.

"The thinking was that Jones, an outstanding guard, was headed to Ohio State, where he'd play for Woody Hayes.

When Gilliam and Vincent were preparing to say goodbye to Jones, the big lineman said, 'Hey, wait a minute. I'm going with you.'

"Siddenly, Jones put some of his belongings together and jumped into the car with Gilliam and Vincent.

"Seeing that, Jones's mother said from the front porch, 'Calvin, you can't go to Iowa City. Mr. Hayes is counting on you to be on his team at Ohio State.'

"Gilliam confirmed the story in a conversation with me while attending an Iowa game in 2002.

"'Mrs. Jones was a woman of her word,' Gilliam said.

"However, that didn't stop Jones. Into the car he went, and off it drove to Iowa City.

"'I know I promised Coach Hayes that I would go to Ohio State, Jones told his mother, 'but I want to go to Iowa.'

"Jones later became the first two-time consensus all-American in Iowa history, and won the 1955 Outland Trophy that was awarded to the nation's top interior lineman. In all, he was named to 22 all-American teams, and he was a first-team all-Big Ten player in all three of his varsity seasons. In 1955, Jones was Iowa's captain.

"Jones died in a plane crash in Canada on Dec. 9, 1956.

"His uniform, No. 62, is one of two retired by the university. The only other player whose number has been retired was Heisman Trophy winner Nile Kinnick, who wore No 24.

"Jones was inducted into the inaugural class of Iowa's Lettermen's Hall of Fame, and he also was a standout in the classroom. Jones, a physical education major, had a 3.0 grade-point average.

"Evashevski, who called Jones 'the greatest lineman I ever coached,' told me there is truth to the story about how the big guy wound up at Iowa.

"'Ohio State had Cal sewed up, and they weren't interested in Gilliam or Vincent,' Evashevski said. 'It was on the recommendation of a high school coach that we took Gilliam and Vincent.

"'When they decided to come to Iowa, Jones was a little reluctant to go alone to Ohio State. If he came to Iowa, he'd have his two friends with him. We told him he could room with the other two players, and that did it--he hopped into the car and came with them.'"

Thoughts On a Sunday Morning

I'm taking the easy way out today.

After foolishly staying awake to watch on TV as the Chicago Cubs made bigger idiots of themselves than they really are for the last time in 2008, I'm borrowing from my twitter stuff.

I'm due to be in church at 9:15 this morning, then -- after a vegetable omelet [or is it omelette?...where's spellcheck when I need it?] with sprinkles of Tabasco, hashbrowns, toast and coffee for a late breakfast at Bakers Square in Clive, the only other thing on the schedule today is the wedding of some people in their 70s at a church that's so far west on University Avenue that it's got to be in Dallas county.

The wedding dinner afterward is at Bravo, and everybody tells me that's a good place to eat.

So here are a few -- a very few -- thoughts I have this morning:

I can see the Hawkeyes going 5-7, maybe even 4-8 now. Wisconsin, Illinois, Penn State, Minnesota (maybe even Indiana) could beat 'em. Sad stuff

The day after a near-miss isn't fun: ISU players should be kicking themselves for letting a big upset chance against Kansas get away

No more Cubs in '08, it's too early in the season to watch the NFL. Maybe I'll watch the antique shows on educational TV

If these guys were kids, they'd be spanked and sent to their rooms. I can think of 6 or 7 Cubs I'd like to send to solitary confinement

The million-dollar Cub players were no-shows agianst L.A. As Hayden Fry would've said, they 'didn't fire a shot'

Speaking of dumping things, I'd like to be able to dump the Cubs. What they did in the playoffs was embarrassing & horrible

A major newspaper development: Editor Steve Buttry explains why the C.R. Gazette is dumping AP

*

I just scanned the paper's sports section, and it was a very, very quick scan -- if there is such a thing....Somebody alert Chuck Shelton. A few things never change: Drake's loss to Butler was even further back than the tire ads. It's on page 10, back by the DirecTV ad....I guess the paper's days of covering Nebraska are over. The Huskers got clobbered by Missouri, 52-17, and the AP was put in charge of writing the obit....I don't want to make Husker fan Alive In Clive feel bad on a Sunday morning, but I'm wondering if Nebraska is still playing major-college football!....Oh, well, maybe Alive In Clive is asking the same thing about Iowa and Iowa State.....Drake's basketball press days are coming up this week. Maybe the news will be better there.

Something For the Valley Players' Scrapbooks

Valley's No. 1-ranked class 4-A high school football team continued to be short-changed by the Des Moines Register this morning.

The Tigers from West Des Moines built their record to 6-0 last night by rolling to a 52-7 victory at Mason City.

However, the story of the game was buried on page 6 of today's Register sports section.

The seven-paragraph summary of the game was included in those under the "Elsewhere in the CIML" category.

Rather strangely, someone named Jared Patterson was given an italics credit line under the story.

It almost seemed like the Register's editors wanted readers to think Patterson writes for the Des Moines paper.

Nah, they wouldn't try something like that, would they?

Patterson doesn't work for the Register.

He works for the Mason City Globe Gazette, and his full story was in the Globe Gazette this morning under this headline: Talented Tigers too much for Mohawks

Patterson's full story from the Mason City paper follows. If nothing else, it gives West Des Moines and Des Moines readers an opportunity to have a clipping of the account of the game for the Valley players' scrapbooks.

The reason I have a strong interest in Valley is because I have lived seven blocks from the high school for more than 40 years, I had three sons who were students and athletes there, I'll have a grandson there next year [with more granchildren to follow], and I have scores of neighbors who are Valley fans.

I still recall the day many years ago when I was talking to someone about the Valley athletic program.

Jack Elgin then was the school's football coach, and the Tigers weren't winning many games.

"They have 50 kids out for the football team and 500 kids in the marching band," the guy said to me.

Things have changed considerably since then, my friends. In a bigtime way.

The marching band is still the best anywhere in the midwest, and coach Gary Swenson has built the football program into one of the finest in the state.

Now if someone can inject some life into the boys' basketball program!

By JARED PATTERSON, jared.patterson@globegazette.com

MASON CITY — The superlatives kept coming from John Lee’s mouth.

The Mason City football coach knew that top-ranked (4-A) West Des Moines Valley had as talented of a football team as any in the state.

On Friday, Lee got to witness firsthand just how talented the Tigers are as they routed the Mohawks 52-7 in a CIML Iowa Conference tilt.

“We knew that we were going to have to play perfect just to keep it close,” Lee said. “That’s the best team in the state of Iowa.

“They have as good of a chance as anyone to win state and be the 4-A champion.”

On Friday, the Tigers looked like the best team in the state.

Running backs Zach Cutkomp and Theo Burkett ran for 143 and 141 yards, respectively. Each found the end zone twice.

Burkett hadn’t played since the Tigers beat Marshalltown on Sept. 12 due to a nagging hamstring injury.

“We felt coming in that these two could play for anybody in the state,” Valley coach Gary Swenson said. “I was real pleased. I thought we were very sharp on both sides of the ball.”

Defensively, the Tigers stymied the Mohawks, holding quarterback Ryan Goetzinger and Co. to 31 yards on the ground.

Goetzinger had eclipsed both 100 yards rushing and passing in four of Mason City’s first five games.

On Friday, he was held to 13 yards rushing.

“I’m as impressed as we were when we watched them on film,” Lee said. “That’s the best team we are going to see. The score might not show it but you are going to get better when you play the best team in the state.”

Mason City’s lone touchdown came on a six-yard strike from Goetzinger to Zach Alexandres late in the first half that trimmed Valley’s lead to 31-7.

“Our kids battled hard,” Lee said.

The Mohawks fell to 4-2 after the loss with a rivalry game at conference foe Fort Dodge looming.

The Dodgers beat Council Bluffs Abraham Lincoln 34-27 on Friday.

A win Friday would give Mason City its first winning season since 2002.

“It would be big for these seniors,” Lee said. “They set a goal of winning five games last year. For them to set a goal and go out and achieve it would mean a lot to us coaches.”

WEST DES MOINES VALLEY 52, MASON CITY 7

Valley 17 21 14 0 — 52

Mason City 0 7 0 0 — 7

Summary

V — Kevin Sheldon 23 field goal, 4:49.

V — Taylor Nelson 1 run (Michael Hovick kick) 2:52.

V — Zach Cutkomp 2 run (Hovick kick) :49.

V — Theo Burkett 9 run (Hovick kick) 9:41.

V — Cutkomp 5 run (Hovick kick) 8:37.

MC — Zach Alexandres 6 pass from Ryan Goetzinger (Cody Barnich kick) 2:53.

V — Cutkomp 2 run (Hovick kick) :32.

V — Burkett 63 run (Hovick kick) 10:57.

V — Ryan Dixon 8 run (Hovick kick) 5:14.

TEAM TOTALS

V MC

First downs 17 7

Rushes-yards 37-318 20-31

Passing yards 124 107

Comp-att-int. 6-8-0 7-16-0

Total yards 442 138

Punts-avg. 1-31.0 7-32.5

Penalties-yards 5-45 3-20

Fumbles-lost 0-0 2-2

INDIVIDUAL LEADERS

Rushing — Mason City: Goetzinger 10-13, Cody Moore 5-5, Clint Hain 2-6, Blake Lybbert 1-(-3), Chavyea Wilder 1-4, Noah Huisman 1-6; Valley: Cutkomp 14-143, Burkett 9-141, Togbah Gabriel 7-25, Nelson 4-0, Chad Stapes 2-1, Dixon 1-8.

Passing — Mason City: Goetzinger 7-15-0 — 107, Lee Gealow 0-1-0 — 0; Valley: Nelson 6-8-0 — 120, Garth Gripenberg 1-4.

Receiving — Mason City: Huisman 5-77, Alexandres 2-29; Valley: Taylor Hilderbrand 2-35, Jon Meister 1-25, Stapes 1-25, Dixon 1-18, Gabriel 1-4.

*

AND THERE'S MORE....

Continuing on the theme of what wasn't in today's Register, R. H. of Des Moines sent this e-mail to me:

Hi, Ron,

"I'm pretty new at this Blackberry thing myself. I have had mine for two months now after spending a decade with U.S. Cellular and moving over to Verizon. The Blackberry has its typical features within a phone (internet, texting, etc.). Technology is something I was never good at, so I'm learning on the go with how to use email. The one thing I do not like is the "Sent from my Verizon Wireless Blackberry" at the end of the emails I send. I feel like a walking advertisement for the company. Just like the MLB playoffs on TBS. Now, if they could just jettison Dick Stockton and Craig Sager from the broadcast.

"You mentioned this and I have to agree: using a Blackberry is just like being tied to the computer at home! If I'm driving around doing errands, I have to turn the dang thing off and put it in the glove compartment! It will take about a month to understand the basic features of using the Blackberry (how to call, use internet, sending and receiving emails) . Those are the only things I care to know in order to use it.

"I'm very humbled by the nice words by a fellow reader. I never try to be cute or snazzy when I write. It takes patience, knowledge of the information or topic, and understanding all the angles and sides to it. Plus, it never hurts to appreciate those who have spent their careers telling the stories in the written word that we read everyday.

"If Dick Stockton's play-by-play is horrible, then Craig Sager's loud suits are equally offensive. Lindsey Nelson and Heywood Hale Broun are spinning in their graves on how Sager has ruined plaid sportscoats with the tacky outfits he wears. Nelson and Broun wore plaid jackets and looked classy and dignified. Sager's a clown.

"Finally, if there is one team that knows how to battle adversity, come from behind, and finish off an opponent, it would be the Boston Red Sox. They are no longer the AL cousins of the team posing as the Chicago Cubs.

"Just in: O.J. Simpson has been found guilty on all 12 charges in his sports memorabilia burglary and kidnapping case. Ironic that the clock struck midnight in Las Vegas when the verdict was read.

"Best,"

R.H.
Des Moines

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: R.H. had filed a dispatch to me earlier in the week on his Blackberry, and I asked him for more information on the communications gizmo. I'm due for a new cell phone from Verizon now, and I'm considering a Blackberry. I mentioned to R.H. that I'm not the world's greatest at the new technoloogy, so I appreciate what he told me about the Blackberry. I also appreicate him updating me on another Boston Red Sox' victory and the O.J. Simpson verdict last night. Neither of those stories was in the city edition of the Register -- something that wouldn't have been allowed to happen in the newspaper's good old days. R.H.'s comment about being "humbled" referred to a comment from another reader. The man had been reading my website, he admires good writing and noticed that R.H. of Des Moines had authored a number of stellar posts in recent months. He wondered if R.H. was my grandson. I said he isn't, but added that I, too, like the stuff R.H. writes.]

Break Up This Hapless & Hopeless Baseball Team

The last thing I thought I'd be doing is sitting at the computer on Oct. 3 and writing that it's time to break up the Chicago Cubs.

Not because they're so good, but because they're so bad.

Give us a new look. Please.

I mean, trade away guys like Derrek Lee, Alfonso Soriano, Ronny Cedeno and maybe even boyish-looking, but weak-armed shortstop Ryan Theriot. Get some 20- and 22-year-old kids who can run, hit and throw. The front office will immediately save millions of dollars. Dump pitching coach Larry Rothschild and reliever Bob Howry. Certainly don't sign Jim Edmonds again. Find a way to get out of the contract with Kosuke Fukudome. Make Carlos Marmol the closer. Send Carlos Zambrano to a shrink and find out if he's worth saving. If he isn't, trade him for two or three young arms this winter. Release Daryle Ward. Send Jason Marquis packing -- and try to get a class AA pitcher in return. OK, I guess a class A pitcher would do. Maybe even a batboy.

You don't need me to tell this is a horrible ending to a 2008 baseball season that should be seeing the Cubs not just advancing to the World Series, but winning it.

But after 7-2 and 10-3 losses to the Los Angeles Dodgers in the first two games of the National League playoffs, it's ugly at Wrigley. Thank goodness there won't be any more games there this year. The fans have booed the team out of town, and the players deserve it.

All of us can finally pull the plug on the Cubs' season when they lose Saturday's game at Dodger Stadium.

*

Frankly, I don't see how the Cubs' management can afford to keep this team intact.

The ballclub couldn't hit while being swept by Arizona in three games last year, and it hasn't hit in two lopsided losses to the Dodgers this year.

This is a total embarrassment.

*

Third baseman Aramis Ramirez is one of the few guys I'd insist on keeping.

*

Lee's nickname should be "4-6-3."

That means he's an expert rally-killer by hitting into a second-baseman-to-shortstop-to-first-baseman double play.

Lee strikes out far too much for me. Far too often he bats like he doesn't have a clue.

*

As I wrote on my twitter site 30 seconds after last night's game, the Cubs couldn't catch, run, throw or hit.

Otherwise, they were decent.

Indecent, I mean.

*

Management has to find a place for Soriano to go. He's not helping this team one bit.

He's being paid $136 million or $136 billion, I'm not sure. He's booed just as often as Marquis.

The trouble is, a team like the Yankees is the only place that can afford Soriano, and they've already had him.

*

I'm wondering if Lou Piniella is the guy I want managing a team in the playoffs.

Sometimes he acts like he belongs in an assisted living facility.

In fact, I wonder if general manager Jim Hendry made the right decision on signing Piniella -- a guy who looks to me like he's ready to start cashing Social Security checks -- through the 2010 season.

*

I guess I'm wondering why Piniella would want to manage two more seasons when he could be enjoying life with his family in Florida.

*

It's amazing to me that a team can win 97 games, win its National League Central division by 7 1/2 games and play as lousy as it has against the Dodgers.

*

The Cubs were so uptight in the second inning against the Dodgers, when they fell behind, 5-0, that you could've cut through the tension at Wrigley Field with a blade of grass.

Every infielder in the Cubs' lineup made an error in the game.

It's beyond me how players who make millions of dollars can't catch ground-balls in a playoff game.

At times, it looked like a Little League game on any Saturday morning in the summer.

*

I didn't care much for Ron Darling when he pitched for the New York Mets a number of years ago.

But I like the work he's doing for TBS in the Cubs' playoff games.

But, to show how far behind he is, he called the people who watched the Cubs at Wrigley Field during the time he was in uniform "great fans because they didn't boo their own players."

Now that's changed, of course. Cubs fans boo their own players regularly, and I'm all for it.

Those overpaid players deserve every boo they get.


*

I don't know how much longer I can stand Dick Stockton's play-by-play work on TBS.

I'm about ready to mute the sound on the telecast and listen to Pat Hughes on the radio.

*

Back to Kosuke Fukudome, the Cubs' rightfielder, for a minute.

I'm surprised Piniella used him in both of the games against the Dodgers at Wrigley Field.

The former standout in Japan has no idea what he's doing at the plate these days.

Pitchers caught up to him very early in the season, and he hasn't figured out the pitchers yet.

I wonder if he'll ever get his act together in this country.

Maybe Hendry should try to swing a deal where the Cubs send him back to Japan with no hard feelings on either side of the ocean.

Obviously, Fukudome is overmatched in the National League. It bothers me a lot that the fans are treating him the way they have in the last couple of months.

*

This is difficult for me to say. Dusty Baker's management in a 2003 season that saw the Cubs come within five outs of making to the World Series doesn't look too bad right now.

*

Bartman turned out to be pretty smart after all. I'll bet he was laughing the last two nights while drinking heavily as he watched on TV as the Cubs flopped.

*

It's not every day that a St. Louis Cardinals fan jumps to the defense of a down-in-the-dumps Cubs follower, but that's exactly what happened later this morning.

Here's Scott Pierce's e-mail:

"A good game by Harden and the Cubs are right back into this.

"I read your stuff today. Want some bad news? There ain't nothin' the Cubs can do about Soriano, Fukudome & Marquis. If they get rid of them, they'll have to eat 50-75 percent of their contracts. No team will assume those deals. Okay, the Yankees, Mets, Red Sox, and Dodgers would. But they already have better players for less money. So, if the Cubs send them to a team in need, and eat a portion of their contracts, it will take them at least five years to recover.

"I think you're a little harsh on Lee and Soriano. I like both of them. Soriano can't find a position to play, but he can hit. The Cubs did a bad deal on Fukudome. He can't hit off speed pitches and pitches away from him. He gives himself up too fast with that left leg lunge. I saw that in June."

Scott

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Scott, I'll trade you the Cubs' entire starting lineup for Pujols. I'll fill in the rest of my lineup with players from No-Name Ballteam].

*

Phoro of Cub fans booing their own players courtesy of Getty Images.

Be Careful Now--This Probably Isn't a Good Time To Question Anyone's Sanity

My West Coast Correspondent, who's all over the Lute Olson coaching/personal situation like a wet blanket, sent this dispatch today from the Arizona Daily Star:

Arizona Wildcats basketball coach Lute Olson formally announced another new member of his team Wednesday: A fiancée.

During a benefit dinner at the Arizona student union hosted by former Wildcat Steve Kerr, Olson introduced Kelly Pugnea as his fiancée, saying she's a "very, very good person."

Pugnea, 47, is a divorced mom of two boys. They reside in Tucson. Olson said after the banquet that the two met seven months ago but have no wedding date at this point.
"No plans yet," Olson said. "Probably next summer."

Olson, 74, divorced his second wife of 4 1/2 years, Christine, while he took a leave of absence from coaching last season. His first wife of 47 years, Bobbi, died in 2001.

The introduction was one of several reasons Olson smiled during his short speech. Aside from cracking a few jokes, after the Wildcat players had been introduced, he expressed optimism about the upcoming season.

[RON MALY'S COMMENT: Hey, anything that'll make Lute happy is fine with me].

*

In the Arizona Daily Star photo, Lute Olson's fiancée, Kelly Pugnea, left, chats with Nike traveling team manager Wyking Jones at the Arizona Cactus Classic prep tourney in May.

Hopefully, There's a Doctor In the House

I'll bet it wasn't 30 seconds after the Chicago Cubs' 7-2 loss to Los Angeles last night that R. H. of Des Moines was at the keyboard.

The keyboard of his Verizon Wireless Blackberry, that is.

R. H. was quick to reflect on how pitiful the Cubs played in yet another first round National League playoff game.

Here's his e-mail, titled, "The Great Maly calls it as he sees it!":

Ron,

"You called it again! Same ol' Cubs yukking it up in Wrigley Field to dem 'Bums!!

"Big Z, you better have your head [and your arm] screwed on Thursday night. If you don't, there are going to be a lot of Cubs players and coaches being hung in effigy throughout the northside of Chicago.

"James 'Bleeping' Loney. Need we say more?"

R.H.
Des Moines

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Thanks, R. H., to you and your snazzy Verizon Wireless Blackberry. I suppose you've noticed that Blackberry is one of the sponsors of the baseball playoffs. Thanks for giving me credit for predicting what was going to happen at Wrigley Field. But having a feeling in my blood and bones that the Cubs are going to die a quick, though painful, death comes with years and years of practice and observation. It dates back to when all I had to keep track of the Chicago National Leaguers' misery was a radio in my parents' kitchen in Cedar Rapids that carried a crackling, static sound on WGN.

I could see this one coming 350 miles away. The Cubs, who swept the Dodgers in an early-season series at Wrigley, were feeling fat and happy about getting the home-field advantage in the playoffs. The ballclub and its fans figured the Chicagos couldn't lose at the Friendly Confines. It didn't make any difference if they trailed by one run or 10 in the last couple of innings. They'd win.

Huh-uh.

Not at this stage of the season.

Not when it counts.

Not when Lou Piniella needs some offense and a big game from Ryan Dempster, a guy who had won 14 of his 17 games at Wrigley. The trouble was, the first 10 of those came early. He won only four of his next seven, and now it's four of eight.

Dempster obviously thought he was in a Little League game. He walked seven batters in 4 2/3 innings. It was absolutely agonizing to watch him miss the strike zone. He didn't have a clue. He made Bob Howry -- who, thank goodness -- wasn't used all night, look like Cy Young.

The Cubs' offense was a no-show again, just like it was against Arizona last season in October. Alfonso Soriano still doesn't have it figured out. He thinks you hit .335 by taking a hop every time you catch a flyball in leftfield. He doesn't know yet that you need a bat to hit a baseball.

So now the Cubs' immediate hopes rest n the slumping shoulders of none other than Carlos Zambrano, who will need a 24-hour pass from the nuthouse to get in his 175 pitches in the five innings he'll work tonight. He'll be wearing one of those bracelets that start beeping when it's time to be taken back to the big building with the fence around it.

I mean, this is sick. The whole mess, I mean.

To say the Cubs' battered franchise needs a night of brilliance out of Zambrano to help erase a century of frustration is like expecting the guys living under the bridges in downtown Des Moines to bail out the economy.

Dick Stockton, who is the worst TV baseball announcer I've ever seen or heard, kept saying the Cubs' fans were quiet and "sitting on their hands" all night--the complete opposite of how White Sox fans acted a night earlier during a game against Minnesota.

Stockton doesn't know his ass from rightfield either. You've got to be kidding me that he thinks Cub fans are going to be goofy when their team scores two runs the whole night on a windblown flyball. People -- even Cub fans in Wrigleyville -- don't usually cheer during a funeral.

I think TBS talked Stockton into working the series because he had a week off from his bowling show. I knew TV viewers were in trouble when he mistook Joe Torre for Lou Piniella early in the game.

I know the Cubs aren't advancing beyond this series. If Stockton gets another round from TBS, he'd better make sure he carries his AARP and Medicare cards with him so he can get into the pass gate at the ballpark.

All I can say is, most of those previous 161 or so Cubs games during the regular season were lots of fun this year. I spent far too much time watching them, but at least it took my mind off such things as the Des Moines Register calling all-American Hawkeye football guard Calvin Jones a running back. More on that later this week].

*

Speaking of the paper, I just now moved my morning reading to Datebook, the part that specializes in printing pictures of empty restaurants.

The latest adventure in emptiness [left] was snapped at a restaurant called Old West on Fleur Drive.

I think it's the 16th or 17th straight photo of an eating place where there are no customers.

Forget it if you want to find out how the place is rated.

Naturally.

"Preliminary visit--not yet rated" was what it said in the review.

Gutless, as usual.

*

Photo of Cub fans' misery at the right courtesy of the Chicago Tribune.

*

For another take on the Cubs, here's what St. Louis Cardinals fan Scott Pierce wrote to me in an e-mail:

From a Cardinal fan to you Cub fans:

THE SKY IS NOT FALLING. IT'S ONLY 1 GAME. Many a series has been won after the home team dropped Game 1, even in these short series'.

Here are Scotty's Baseball Rules To Live By when handicapping post-season baseball:

1) Which team has the better 1-2-3 starting pitchers? Match up 1 vs. 1, 2 vs. 2, and 3 vs. 3. Whichever team has the better individual, give them 10 points. Keep in mind, you can win the World Series with only two starting pitchers. You'll go the distance in each series, but two starters will give you 3 wins in a best-of-five and 4 wins in a LCS and World Series. That's why I don't care about the No. 4 starter. If the No. 4 starter is in a series where you're facing elimination, you're cooked anyway.

2) Which team has the better bullpen in the 7th and 8th innings? Give that team 10 points.

3) Which team has the better closer? Do the boxing 10-point must system on this one. Give the better closer a 10, but give the other team's closer as much as 9 points if you like.

4) Go position-by-position and determine who is better. If not sure, ask yourself if you would trade this guy for that guy straight up. Then give each team 1 point per position.

Do that, Cub fans, and then take a valium. Don't get me wrong. I ain't rooting for you folks. But I am a realist.

Scott Pierce

[RON MALY'S COMMENT: Yeah, Scott, but don't forget the 'Z' factor. Whatever that means].

*

And this from Mark Robinson of Iowa City:

Hi, Ron;

Come now, there is so much baseball left to be played that Cubs fans can't already be on their knees in abject misery. Can they?

As they say, every time Hawkeye fans storm the field after a win, "Act like you've been there before."

I know that is tough for Cubs fans who haven't been there before, but, well...lots of baseball left.

Buck up and go National League!

Best regards,

Mark Robinson

[RON MALY'S COMMENT: What you wrote makes some Cubs' fans feel better, Mark. Others have already committed suicide].

*

Bud Appleby tells me that Lake-Forester.com says David Smith will be a Drake basketball player a year from now.

"It’s probably a good fit for the Lake Forest Academy basketball star," the website says. "After all, the 6-foot-3, 195-pound point guard is a hustler with a bulldog mentality. As a junior, Smith averaged 8.5 points, 4.3 assists and 2.5 steals per game to help the Caxys win 24 of 33 games...."

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Appleby also says the Deseret News writes:

"Without a press conference or a teary-eyed ceremony, Kyle Korver all but announced his retirement this week.

"Not from basketball, mind you. The Utah Jazz sharpshooter -- who is from Pella, Ia., and played basketball at Creighton -- is done with a different sport, but at least he's going out on top.

"Korver recently helped break the world record for the longest kickball game as part of a fundraiser for a charity he helps in Philadelphia.

"A week later, Korver joked that he was still trying to catch up on sleep he missed out on while setting the record. The kickball game began on a Friday night and ended 213 runs, 164 innings, gallons of energy drinks, five popped balls and 24 hours and 15 minutes later on Saturday night.

Korver and his younger brother, Klayton, who played at Drake, went the entire time — all 1,455 minutes of the ultra-marathon match.

"Don't count on him ever playing another minute, though.

"'If I ever have kids some day and they're like, 'Dad, dad, let's go play kickball. I'll be, like, 'Let's go dancing. Let's do anything but kickball,' Korver said, grinning. 'I'm done with kickball.'"

Dodgers Have the Cubs Right Where They Want Them

If you ask me, the Los Angeles Dodgers have the Chicago Cubs right where they want them.

In Wrigley Field, with Derek Lowe pitching and the wind undoubtedly blowing in.

Make no mistake about it, the pressure is on the Cubs today and in the rest of the short series against the Dodgers that's ready to start.

The Cubs swept the Dodgers in a three-game series at Wrigley Field during the regular season, and they won five of the seven games from Los Angeles altogether during the summer.

But Lowe, whose record is only 14-11, has been on a sizzling streak.

If he beats Ryan Dempster of the Cubs today, I'm afraid the Dodgers are going to upset the Cubs, then go on to win the entire best-of-five series.

The Dodgers are a better team than when the Cubs saw them the last time. They have goofball outfielder Manny Ramirez -- a guy who makes me sick -- they have Indianola's own Casey Blake playing third base and they have some outstanding pitching.

The Cubs have their own unpredictable airhead, Carlos Zambrano, ready to pitch tomorrow. He can be very good [remember his late-season no-hitter against Houston at Milwaukee's Miller Park?] or he can be very bad.

The Cubs can't depend on him, and that's a bad thing in the playoffs.

Frankly, I'm tired of his emotional peaks and valleys. When the Cubs need some steadiness, not a guy who is either punching a teammate [I think Michael Barrett's jaw still hurts] or a Gatorade cooler.

If the Cubs get some hits and some runs, and if Dempster wins today [14 of his 17 victories have been at Wrigley], then the Cubs have a good chance of advancing to the next round.

If they hit like like they did in the 2007 playoffs against Arizona [which meant they didn't hit at all] and if they lose today, then with the goofy Zambrano pitching tomorrow, it figures to be an early winter for the Cubs.

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Lou Piniella is now signed to continue managing the Cubs through 2010.

Just a signed piece of paper, my friends.

Piniella is basically a tired, grandfatherly-looking guy. He's in his mid-60s, and he's aging quickly. If he wins a World Series for the Cubs, he'll retire -- whether he's signed through 2010 or not.

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Sign of the times in these circulation freefall/penny-pinching times in the newspaper business:

The Des Moines Register had no one in Chicago yesterday for some of the most-meaningful baseball in history.

In the old days, the paper would've had a sportswriter or a columnist [or both] in Chicago to cover the White Sox in their 1-0 victory over Minnesota in the American League regular-season playoff game last night, and for advance stories on the two Cubs and Dodgers games at Wrigley Field today and tomorrow.

The caskets Bill Bryson and Sec Taylor are in are no doubt still shaking.

Bob Nightengale of USA Today covered the Sox victory and Mike Dodd of USA Today covered the advance on the Cubs and Dodgers for the Register.

The Register stayed home.

One more thing. I think it's silly for the Register to use USA Today stories because so many people buy [at 75 cents a pop] or read USA Today every morning.

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The sportswriters'/copy editors'/columnists' lunch is still a few hours away.

I'll find out what those guys think of all this then.

I'm predicting it won't be pretty. Still-warm crab rangoons will likely be hitting the wall of the restaurant in record numbers.

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Somebody should put owner Al Davis of the Oakland Raiders to sleep already.

Or at least on a bus to Venezuela.

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There were a couple of embarrassingly-bad stories in the Register's sports section this morning.

I'll try to pretend like they weren't there. Maybe they'll go away.

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This is one of my favorite times of the year -- and not just because the Cubs are still playing baseball.

I can still buy fresh tomatoes -- which means grown in Iowa gardens -- at the corner stands around town and at Hy-Vee. At least I think the tomatoes I've been paying $2.48 a pound for at Hy-Vee are from a real garden and not a hothouse.

Whatever, the sliced tomatoes taste very good on my Wholesome Harvest 9-Grain & Seed toast, with sliced and melted pepperjack cheese on the top.

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By the way, even if the Cubs lose today and/or the entire series with the Dodgers, don't look for me to throw any tomatoes at them. Not at $2.48 a pound!

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In answer to a question a number of people -- Lyle Matthews included -- have asked me: The house pictured at the top of this page is not mine.

It's in the neighborhood, though. It's a couple of blocks away.

I didn't take the picture because of the house. I took it because of the beautiful tree in front of the house.

I've had bad luck with trees over the years, so that's why I had to take a picture of somebody else's tree in this early part of autumn, 2008.

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You didn't catch me writing one word about how it's been 100 years since the Cubs last won a World Series.

It's an overdone story, and everyone knows it. You won't see it here.

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I couldn't resist using Norman Rockwell's characterization of the Cubs one more time in a column. The man was a genius, but you already knew that.