It's a Good Thing Nile Kinnick Isn't Still Around. He'd Have Torn Up His Ticket and Gone Home Had He Been Sitting Through Ferentz's Worst Loss At Iowa

Iowa City -- Well, this wasn't anything Nile Kinnick would've been proud of.

On the day another sculpture of the University of Iowa's most famous football player was showcased in a stadium named after him, the Hawkeyes were awful in a Big Ten Conference game against Indiana.

Kinnick would have likely torn up his ticket and gone home had he been on hand for Iowa's 38-20 loss to the Hoosiers.

They named the stadium after Kinnick 35 years ago, and there now are two sculptures honoring the man who starred for Iowa's 1939 Ironmen and won the Heisman Trophy in December of that year [pictured at the left].

Neither sculpture looks like Kinnick, but there's no sense nit-picking today.

It was sad that a homecoming crowd of 70,585 had to be embarrassed by the performance the 2007 Hawkeyes put on inside the stadium.

Indeed, there even were boos coming from some of the homecomers. Well, maybe it came from the students. No matter. It was booing.

A confrontation between an Iowa player [Trey Stross] and an assistant coach [Eric Johnson] on the sideline was shameful, and the nine sacks Indiana's defense inflicted on Iowa quarterback Jake Christensen reminded fans of the Frank Lauterbur and Bob Commings coaching years.

With the price of tickets these days, the fans deserved much better.

*

Without a doubt, the loss to Indiana was Kirk Ferentz's worst in his nine seasons as Iowa's coach.

I thought the 21-7 nightmare against Northwestern last year was bad. This one was was absolutely gruesome.

Iowa now has lost seven straight Big Ten games, dating back to last year. Ferentz's 1999-2000 teams were beaten nine times in a row by conference opponents.

It's bad, folks.

*

And the mess between Stross, a sophomore wide receiver from Avon Lake, Ohio, and an assistant coach was bad, too.

In a program that's just now trying to get over quarterback Drew Tate yelling at his receivers and offensive coordinator Ken O'Keefe on the sideline, reporters saw Johnson and Stross get into a heated discussion with tight ends coach Eric Johnson after spiking the ball following a touchdown.

I didn't see that incident. I was probably getting a cup of coffee in the press box at the time. That's one of the rewards I enjoy for being retired after having to cover crap like that for more than 50 years at various places.

Those same reporters saw Johnson shove Stross on the sideline.

Wrote Marc Morehouse of the Cedar Rapids Gazette:

"On the final play of the first half, Stross caught a batted ball for a 33-yard TD with no time on the clock. He then spiked the ball and was hit with a 15-yard penalty, pushing Iowa's kickoff to begin the second half from the 30- to the 15-yard line.

Johnson met Stross with a shove as he made his way to the sidelines. The two engaged in a heated argument before Johnson made some sort of contact again.

“'I think Eric's regretful that it happened, but I think his motives are understood. I think everyone knows why,'' Ferentz said. “I had a few words for Trey also. It's just not a smart thing to do.'”

"Stross was appropriately contrite. He was asked if he was surprised by the reaction.

“'He's (Johnson) been here a long time. When you have kids like Dallas Clark and Ed Hinkel, who never did that stuff, that's what the program was built on,'' said Stross, who saw his first action in four games because of a hamstring injury. “Yet, for a redshirt sophomore to do that, who really hasn't done anything here yet ... it was just my mistake.''

"Stross and Iowa got penalized 15 yards because the player spiked the ball after scoring a touchdown."

*

Those sideline goings-on rival former coach Hayden Fry drawing critcism for pulling on quarterback Matt Rodgers' facemask during a nationally-televised game at Ohio State, and quarterback Ryan Driscoll refusing to go into a game when Fry wanted to send him in to do mop-up duties in a loss to Northwestern in the 1990s.

None of that stuff is pretty.

*

Iowa officials thought they were doing the right thing by scheduling Indiana as the homecoming opponent.

The trouble is, you're supposed to schedule a team you can beat at homecoming.

*

There's work to be done in Iowa City, gang.

Lots of it.

*

And, as for Iowa State, the next game is Saturday night at Texas Tech.

*

Hey, let's forget about this drab football season for a minute.

Here's an e-mail from Mark Robinson of Iowa City:

"Now, how about some good news? Yes, Hawkeye cyberspace is full of Iowa football doubters and I can't say that I blame them In fact, I support them. But, back to the good news.

"Marshalltown's Jeff Clement, who was drafted third overall by the Mariners a few years ago finally was called up to the parent club when rosters were expanded in September. He made the best of it. He hit a game-tying ninth inning home run as a pinch-hitter a few days ago and then hit a walkoff homer Saturday night, as the designated hitter, over the centerfield fence.

"Good news is hard to come by these days, eh?

"Keep writing,"

Mark Robinson

[RON MALY'S COMMENT: Man, that's just what all of us needed, Mark. This is turning into a terrible football season around here for the major-college teams, so it's good to hear that Jeff Clement showed the Mariners what he could do late in the major league baseball season. I predict a very good career for Clement].

I Think the Best Idea Is To Stick With Green Tea

I see there's some new information out about alcohol.

The drinking of it, I mean.

Maria Cheng, who is described as an Associated Press medical writer, wrote a story for newspapers -- and I assume the Internet, TV, radio and blogs -- around the world today that says all types of alcohol add to the risk of women developing breast cancer.

That's pretty serious stuff.

So forget that daily glass of wine, girls.

Certainly both of those glasses of wine.

And forget the beer and the whiskey, too.

Cheng quoted a doctor named Patrick Maisonneuve as saying, "Women drinking wine because they think it is healthier than beer are wrong."

So I guess what they were saying about wine a while back is wrong.

I think it was a couple of years ago that people -- maybe even doctors -- were saying that two alcoholic drinks a day were good for you.

Maybe even good for me, but I wouldn't swear to that.

How they arrived at two, I don't know.

I was talking to a guy I know the other day who said his doctor told him to drink one beer or one glass of wine every night -- "but only one."

I've had people tell me that it's tough to stop after one.

What I don't know now is how that doctor is certain that one beer or one glass of wine is good for my friend.

Who's to say that, one of these days, another study will come out that says one beer or one glass of wine causes prostate cancer or leads to thinning hair?

I do my best to avoid restaurants that allow smoke because I've been told that second-hand smoke is almost as bad for a person as first-hand smoke.

These new studies tend to tell me that second-hand smoke combined with one beer or one glass of wine might really be bad for a person.

So I'm staying home today and drinking green tea.

As far as I know, nobody has said green tea is bad for us -- especially if we don't put alcohol in it.

But, come to think of it, my friend Jiro from Japan drank a lot of green tea and died of lung cancer when he was 63.

Kinnick Sculptures Are All Right, But There's Just One Problem--They Don't Look Much Like Iowa's 1939 Heisman Trophy Winner

I'm going to write some more about Nile Kinnick today.

Unfortunately, I was too young to see Kinnick play football at the University of Iowa.

Nonetheless, he is my favorite athlete of all time, and he was what intercollegiate sports should be all about.

He was the all-American Boy if there ever was one.

He was a Phi Beta Kappa student, he won the Heisman Trophy in 1939 and remains the only player from a university or college in this state to be honored as the premier football player in the nation.

Tragically, Kinnick died in the crash of his Navy plane in 1943. He was only 24 years of age.

People thought he could have become Iowa's governor. After that, who knows? Perhaps president of the United States.

Iowa did the right thing by naming its football stadium after Nile Kinnick. In 1972, Iowa Stadium became Kinnick Stadium.

Last year, they put a nice statue of Kinnick in front of the south entrance to the stadium. The sculpture shows Kinnick dressed in the clothes he might be wearing to his classes.

Some people were disappointed the sculpture didn't show Kinnick in his football uniform.

Now those people have gotten their wish.

Iowa is ready to unveil a nother sculpture at the stadium that shows Kinnick scoring the Hawkeyes' only touchdown in a 7-6 victory over Notre Dame in 1939. That game, as well as the victory over Minnesota, were huge factors in helping the young man win the Heisman.

I'm glad Iowa is honoring Kinnick again, but I have just one problem.

I don't think the sculpture by Larry Nowlan looks much like Kinnick.

Neither do other people I've talked with.

It's a nice sculpture, but if the face doesn't look like Kinnick's face, I'm disappointed.

And, frankly, I didn't think Nowlan's statue of Kinnick that has been outside the stadium since the autumn of 2006 looks like Nile either.

The statue of Kinnick that was placed in front of the stadium last year is pictured at the right, and the photo appears as a courtesy of the University of Iowa. The photo at the left shows Nowlan, who lives in New Hampshire and has a studio in Vermont, working on the statue of Kinnick scoring the touchdown against Notre Dame. That photo is courtesy of the Iowa City Press-Citizen. The photo of Kinnick in his football helmet is courtesy of Google.

Anyway, thanks for being a tremendous football player, Nile.

Ready, Set, [Almost] Go for Keno Davis At Drake

For the second straight year, the Drake men's basketball team will play in a school record-tying three regular-season tournaments to highlight a 30-game schedule in the 2007-08 season.

According to www.godrakebulldogs.com, the Bulldogs -- under first-year coach Keno Davis [pictured at the left] -- will play eight games against teams that advanced to 2007 postseason play.

Drake will play 17 home games, including 15 regular-season contests. The Bulldogs will host Central College in an Oct. 31 exhibition game, followed by a Nov. 3 home exhibition game with Southwest (Minn.) State.

Drake opens its 102nd season of intercollegiate basketball venturing to Moraga, Calif., to play UC-San Diego Nov. 9 in the opening round of the Saint Mary's Tip-Off Classic. The Bulldogs will face host Saint Mary's on Nov. 10.

Drake opens the regular home season entertaining Cornell College. After a nonconference road test at Wisconsin-Milwaukee Nov. 24, Drake will play five straight home games.

The Bulldogs will host the inaugural Iowa Realty Invitational, meeting North Carolina Central in the first round on Nov. 30. The tournament field also includes Duquesne and Cal State-Northridge.

After renewing the oldest college basketball rivalry in the state of Iowa by playing Iowa State for the 166th time Dec. 5 at the Drake Knapp Center, Drake will host the third annual Drake Regency Challenge presented by Hy-Vee Dec. 7 and 8.

The Bulldogs play Chicago State in the first round, while Jackson State squares off with Texas-Pan American in the other matchup.

The Bulldogs travel to Iowa Dec. 14 before opening the Missouri Valley Conference season on the road for the third straight year by playing at Wichita State Dec. 29.

The conference schedule features four games against Creighton and Southern Illinois, which competed in the 2007 NCAA Tournament. Drake also will play four contests against Bradley and Missouri State, which also played in the 2007 NIT.

The Bulldogs meet Southern Illinois, which advanced to the semifinal round of the 2007 NCAA West Regional, in its MVC home opener Jan. 2.

Drake will play a road game in the sixth annual BracketBuster series Feb. 22-23. The BracketBuster pairings will be announced in early February.

The four-day, 10-team Missouri Valley Conference tournament will begin on March 6 at the Scottrade Center in St. Louis, , and conclude with a March 9 Sunday afternoon championship.

Season tickets are on sale at the Drake ticket office by calling 515-271-DOGS. Fans also can order season tickets online at www.godrakebulldogs.com

Drake won two tournaments in 2006-07, capturing the Drake Regency Challenge as well as the Sun Bowl tournament, while finishing fifth in the Top of the World Classic in Anchorage, Alaska. Drake also played in three regular season tournaments in 1986-87: the Hawaii Pacific Tournament, the Lobo Invitational in Albuquerque, N.M., and the Heritage Drake Classic.

Drake has seven returning letterwinners, including two starters back from last year's team, which posted a 17-15 record. Guard Josh Young, who scored more points than any freshman in the Missouri Valley Conference last year, and senior forward Klayton Korver head the returning veterans.

THE SCHEDULE


Wed, Oct 31 CENTRAL COLLEGE - Exhibition DRAKE KNAPP CENTER 7:05 p.m.

Sat, Nov 3 SOUTHWEST (MINN.) STATE - Exhibition DRAKE KNAPP CENTER 2:05 p.m.

Saint Mary's Tip Off Classic

Fri, Nov 9 - Sat, Nov 10 UC San Diego at Moraga, Calif. 3:30 p.m.

Sat, Nov 10 Saint Mary's (Calif.) at Moraga, Calif. 9:35 p.m.

Wed, Nov 14 CORNELL COLLEGE DRAKE KNAPP CENTER 7:05 p.m.

Sat, Nov 24 Wisconsin-Milwaukee at Milwaukee, Wis. 7 p.m.

IOWA REALTY INVITATIONAL

Fri, Nov 30 - Sat, Dec 1 Duquesne vs. Cal State-Northridge; Drake vs. North Carolina Central DRAKE KNAPP CENTER 5 p.m./7:30 p.m.


Wed, Dec 5 IOWA STATE DRAKE KNAPP CENTER 6:05 p.m.

DRAKE REGENCY CHALLENGE CLASSIC

Fri, Dec 07 - Sat, Dec 8 Jackson State vs. Texas-Pan American; Drake vs. Chicago State DRAKE KNAPP CENTER 5 p.m./7:30 p.m.

Fri, Dec 14 Iowa at Iowa City 7:05 p.m.

Sat, Dec 29 Wichita State * at Wichita, Kan. 7:05 p.m.

Wed, Jan 2 SOUTHERN ILLINOIS * DRAKE KNAPP CENTER 7:05 p.m.

Sun, Jan 6 Evansville * at Evansville, Ind. 2:05 p.m.
FSN Midwest, Fox College Sports

Wed, Jan 9 INDIANA STATE * DRAKE KNAPP CENTER 7:05 p.m.

Sat, Jan 12 MISSOURI STATE * DRAKE KNAPP CENTER 7:05 p.m.

Wed, Jan 16 Bradley * at Peoria, Ill. 7:05 p.m.

Sat, Jan 19 ILLINOIS STATE * DRAKE KNAPP CENTER 7:05 p.m.

Tue, Jan 22 Creighton * at Omaha, Neb. 7:05 p.m.

Sat, Jan 26 NORTHERN IOWA * DRAKE KNAPP CENTER 5:05 p.m.

Wed, Jan 30 CREIGHTON * DRAKE KNAPP CENTER 7:05 p.m.

Sat, Feb 2 Indiana State * at Terre Haute, Ind. TBA

Tue, Feb 5 Illinois State * at Normal, Ill. 7:05 p.m.

Sat, Feb 9 EVANSVILLE * DRAKE KNAPP CENTER 7:05 p.m.

Wed, Feb 13 Southern Illinois * at Carbondale, Ill. 7:05 p.m.

Sat, Feb 16 Northern Iowa * at Cedar Falls, Iowa 1:05 p.m.

Tue, Feb 19 BRADLEY * DRAKE KNAPP CENTER 7:35 p.m.
FSN Midwest, Fox College Sports

Sat, Feb 23 BracketBusters game

Tue, Feb 26 Missouri State * at Springfield, Mo. 7:05 p.m.

Sat, Mar 1 WICHITA STATE * DRAKE KNAPP CENTER TBA

State Farm Missouri Valley Conference Tournament

Thu, Mar 6 - Sun, Mar 9 at Scotttrade Center (St. Louis, Mo.)

*Missouri Valley Conference game

*

This story was written by Drake sports information director Mike Mahon

Don Muhm Dies At 78 'While Watching the Sunset'; Paul Delger Writes About Don's Last Book

Don Muhm, who was farm editor of the Des Moines Register from 1960 to 1993, died Tuesday night at 78 years of age.

Retired Register copy editor and reporter Bud Appleby said Muhm died at his cabin in northern Iowa. Register photographer Warren Taylor said that according to Don's wife, Don was sitting on the front porch of their cabin watching the sunset, had a heart attack and died.

*

Paul Delger of Kanawha, a friend of mine, does some very good free-lance work for the Mason City Globe Gazette and other publications.

One of his latest articles deals with a new book written by Muhm. Here's the story on the book Delger sent to me after he submitted it to the Globe Gazette:

By Paul Delger

KANAWHA—Kanawha native Don Muhm had written some farm history books, so it was a natural to write a military history book about his extended family.

The book, "Five Generations…Five Wars," is his 10th publishing project. Muhm served as Des Moines Register farm editor for 33 years, retiring in 1993.

Muhm traced four families: Wandreys, Harlie Muhm branch, Asches and Hanen-Muhm and five wars: The Civil War, World Wars I and II, the Korean War and Vietnam War. It covers the years 1862-1992 and profiles 28 servicemen and one servicewoman.

“I’m glad I did it (the book),” Muhm said. “I discovered there were true heroes in the real sense of the word. Thankfully, there weren’t that many (participating) in battle.”

Muhm labored about two years over the book. He garnered much information from Senator Charles Grassley’s staff and received a shoebox full of Muhm’s brother’s medals in the process Muhm also gleaned valuable material from the Gold Star Military Museum at Camp Dodge and via family military forms.

Muhm took part in the U.S. Army from 1952-54 as a special agent with the counter-intelligence corps.

“A lot of us served when called upon,” he said. “We didn’t go to Canada, England or leave the country when called upon.”

Muhm’s book is available for $25. You can contract him at 3005 Meadow Lane, West Des Moines, IA 50265, or telephone 515-225-2390 or 712-336-0373.

*

Photo of a typewriter and an Iowa farm courtesy of Google.

Gannett Co. Is Called a Modern-Day Newspaper Gestapo, and It's 'Killing the Industry With Bottom-Line Goals and Directives'

R. H. of Des Moines, who regularly keeps a close watch on a number of things in this busy world of ours, sounds off on some of his favorite topics today:

Ron,

To read what is going on at the Burlington Free Press has compelled me to find a shining star tonight and make the following wish:

I wish Lee Enterprises would take the Register away from the grips on the Darth Vader of the American press (Gannett)!!

Being a young lad, I still believe in picking up the paper and reading it. If I can't get my hands on the paper, I will flip on the computer and read it online. When I read the Register online, they have a comment section after each story for readers to chime in. The viatrol towards the paper is nearly at an all-time high when reading the comments. The readers do reserve the right to question what the Register publishes and how it is presented. That's fair enough, but I have to wonder do the readers really know that all of this hatred should be directed towards Gannett and not always toward the writers and the staffers?

The monkeys who run Gannett don't give three nickels and mule about its customers, nor are they willing to to take responsibility for the decline of their papers. As a result, in the eyes of this young reader, the newspapers under Gannett's ownership are taking all of the heat, the hatred, and their employees are left holding the bag. I'm sure Laura Hollingsworth is a decent person and would like to do the right thing, but as noted in the Free Press story, if she was to step out of line and disagree with any decision sent down by the monkeys, she may face being blacklisted from working for another paper again.

Talk about your modern day newspaper Gestapo. Gannett is killing the newspaper industry with its "bottom-line" goals and directives.

Lee Enterprises, if you are listening, please save our Des Moines Register!! Anyone but Gannett. These clowns have forgotten what it means to operate a newspaper.


Thanks Ron,

R.H.
Des Moines

P.S. Wartburg defeats Luther, 25-8. That's 16 out of 17 wins in this series since 1990. U-Rah-Rah-Rah!!!

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: R. H.'s reference to the Burlington Free Press follows the column I wrote late last week about mounting criticism of the largest newspaper in Vermont. Among the targets is Mike Townsend, the Free Press' executive editor, who is a former managing editor at the Des Moines Register. Fortunately, I never had to carry on any sort of conversation with Townsend. However, other people told me about him. Once, when I was in another state spending a lot of money covering a big football game, I'm told Townsend was making such an impact at the Register that, when an empty cab pulled up in front of the newspaper building at 8th and Locust, he and Dennis Ryerson stepped out. Somehow, and for no apparent good reason, the Gannett Co. hired Townsend to be the boss at Burlington, Vt. Things have gone downhill since. As for readers' criticism of writers on the Register's website, I almost feel sorry for people getting paychecks at the paper. Readers are free to make anonymous personal attacks on any Register columnist or reporter. I asked a longtime writer and editor about that recently, and he said, "Because of what those readers are allowed to write, I'll bet writers are going to be very careful about what they say in their blogs." It's horrible what the paper's editors are allowing to happen. Gannett has been behind this "reader participation" crap, and I believe everything R. H. says about the huge newspaper company. I also believe what R. H. says about Wartburg's unbeaten football team. I hope the Knights go to the playoffs.]

*

I'm told that no one will be added this year to the Wall of Fame [pictured with, left to right, George Wine, Ron Maly and Ron Gonder in front] in the Kinnick Stadium press box.

Twenty sportswriters, sportscasters and sports information people were charter members of the Wall of Fame in 2006. Some of those honored are deceased, others are either retired or almost retired.

At least five of the semi-retired guys are still authoring books and doing some other writing and broadcasting. The best thing about what they do is that they have no bosses, which allows them to write and say what they want.

Plaques honoring each of the 20 charter members of the Wall of Fame are nicely displayed on a wall on the fourth floor of the massive press box.

I was told by a man in the know that Iowa athletic department officials have chosen not to add any retirees to the Wall of Fame for a while "because they don't want to water it down."

*

An e-mail from Ralph in Riverside:


"Ron -- Why would Drake, with no scholarship players, schedule a game with an opponent that has 63? Why would the Register go ga-ga over the game? Why wouldn't we expect the lopsided outcomes the games have produced?

See you Saturday at the Iowa-Indiana game."

Ralph in Riverside

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Ralph was responding to Northern Iowa's 45-7 romp past Drake last week, and what I wrote about it. I said if I were making Drake's schedules, I'd never put UNI on them. UNI, which -- as Ralph in Riverside says -- has 63 football scholarships, likes nothing better than to come into Drake Stadium and pound the no-scholarship Bulldogs. Former Drake coach Rob Ash always wanted a UNI or an Illinois State -- or both -- on the Bulldogs' schedules, but now that he's gone let's hope athletic director Sandy Hatfield Clubb takes control of the future scheduling in a more sensible way. In answer to Ralph in Riverside's question about why the Register went "ga-ga" over the Drake-UNI game, I guess he'll have to ask the editors. They're the guys who decided the page makeup -- and also made the decision to send Tom Witosky to the [you gotta be kiddin'] Nebraska-Ball State game].

*

And how about somebody named Nikki Schuchart of Ankeny second-guessing the Register's display of the Drake-UNI and Iowa-Wisconsin games in Sunday's paper?

Schuchurt, a "Young Adult Contributor at DesMoinesRegister.com/blogs," is labeled a UNI fan.

She wrote on today's op-ed page: "So the UNI Panthers win the bragging rights of the mythical football state championship. But the fact that the Hawkeyes lost to Wisconsin was deemed more worthy of a huge center spot on the front of the sports section...Oh, well, at least the Panthers can remind all the Hawkeyes, Cyclones and Bulldogs that they are still undefeated."

[RON MALY'S COMMENT: Let 'em have it, Nikki].

Because Of the Zebra Screwup, There Was No Big Upset for the Hawkeyes; Those Officials Looked Like They Belonged In An Assisted Living Facility

I've got some advice for Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany.

Instead of coming to Des Moines to tell tall stories about expansion of the conference to 12 teams, he should hire some football officials who don't look and act like they came out of a nursing home.

The officiating crew that worked Iowa's 17-13 loss last night to Wisconsin was totally inept.

It was embarrassing to have those guys blowing whistles in a Big Ten opener that was televised nationally by ABC.

Even hype master Brent Musburger, the play-by-play announcer, couldn't say enough stuff to cover up the poor work of that crew.

The zebras were clueless when Iowa linebacker A. J. Edds batted the ball out of the arm of Wisconsin's P. J. Hill and into the end zone.

To me, it was clear that Iowa should have had possession of the ball on the 20-yard line. Instead, Wisconsin had a first down on the 3 after the officials at first said the Badgers should have the ball on the 1.

After getting the ball at the 3, it took Wisconsin two plays to score.

The referee who made the onfield announcements to the TV audience and the fans in Camp Randall Stadium looked like he belonged in an assisted living complex.

Unfortunately, the wrong call on the end zone play by some guys who belong on a funny farm ended up costing Iowa a victory over a Wisconsin team that was highly overrated at No. 9.

If I were Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz, I'd demand that Delany and the Big Ten's supervisor of officials review the tape of the game from one end to the other, and suspend the officials who screwed up the end zone situation so badly.

*

Lisa Salters, the ABC sideline announcer, asked Ferentz about the officiating debacle when she caught up with him at halftime.

Ferentz said the officials made the right call, adding that he didn't like admitting that.

But how could Ferentz know if the officials made the right call? He had the worst seat in the house while standing on the Iowa sideline. In addition, his coaches in the press box couldn't have known what was going on with the so-called "inadvertent whistle."

*

Salters, by the way, is a former Penn State basketball player who came to ESPN/ABC after being a TV newsside reporter.

One of the things she covered in her earlier life was the O. J. Simpson murder trial.

I've got to think trying to unravel the officiating going on in the Big Ten is even more challenging than covering O. J.

*

Hey, how about that Derrell Johnson-Koulianos [pictured at the left], the Iowa freshman redshirt wide receiver who made a one-handed catch of a 21-yard touchdown pass from Jake Christensen?

Kirk Herbstreit, the former Ohio State quarterback who was the analyst on the ABC telecast, spent much of the game raving about Johnson-Koulianos,a 6-1, 205-pounder from Cardinal Mooney High School in Campbell, Ohio.

Herbstreit was aware of Johnson-Koulianos because of a standout high school career that included playing in the Ohio-Pennsylvania all-star game.

Johnson-Koulianos is the son of Lauren and Tony Koulianos of Campbell..

*

In retrospect, it's difficult to believe that 17 1/2-point favorite Iowa was upset by Iowa State, 15-13, eight days ago.

Iowa's players and coaches are going to be kicking themselves if that game costs them a spot in the bowl structure when the invitations are issued in December.

*

But the Hawkeyes got exactly what they deserved in the loss at Ames.

Iowa State was ready to play, Iowa wasn't.

So what happens? Iowa State can't hold an 11-point lead in the final 5 minutes of its first road game last night at Toledo, and loses, 36-35.

It was Toledo's first victory in four games and Iowa State's third loss in four games.

With Big 12 games coming up against Nebraska, Texas Tech, Texas and Oklahoma, the outlook isn't bright for Iowa State.

The chances of the Cyzlones finishing 1-11 are evident. If that happens, Iowa's fans can say Iowa State had its bowl game Sept. 15 against the Hawkeyes.

*

The last thing ABC needed last night was a scoreless tie that was turning into a battle of punters.

The networks would much prefer a 28-27 score in the first half, not 0-0.

Brent Musburger had to resort to talking about the free food that was delivered to the ABC crew in the press box when things were moving slowly on the field.

*

If I were making Drake's football schedules, I'd never have a game against Northern Iowa on them.

The Bulldogs have been outclassed this season and last by UNI, and there's no way they can compete in the rivalry. The difference, of course, is football scholarships. Drake has none, UNI has a bunch.

The way I'd do it at Drake is not put UNI on the schedule, then -- after a 12-0 season -- tell the banquet crowds, "We'd loved to have had the chance to play Iowa, Iowa State and UNI. We think we could've beaten them all."

*

Another chapter in the You Gotta Be Kiddin' Me book:

The paper didn't send a reporter to cover Nebraska's game against No. 1-ranked Southern California on Sept. 15 at Lincoln, but had Tom Witosky drive over there for Nebraska-Ball State game yesterday.

Ball State?

Like I said, you've got to be making that stuff up.

*

And I see they dragged retiree Chuck Schoffner out of his blogging duties to write a sidebar on the Drake-UNI game.

They called the longtime Associated Press sports editor a correspondent.

Go figure.

*

And there's more.

Jane Burns, a longtime Register writer and editor who now works for the Capital Times in Madison, Wis., wrote a sidebar for the Des Moines paper on the Iowa-Wisconsin game.

She did a good job of explaining the end zone mess involving the incompetent officials, which ended with the Badgers taking a 7-3 lead.

They Wonder Why So Many People Are Leaving a Vermont Paper, Where the Editor Who Asked, 'Who's that Old Guy Laying On the Floor?' In D.M. Is the Boss

A little background music, please.

Late in the previous century, the Des Moines Register had a managing editor named Mike Townsend who was perhaps the most disliked person in the newsroom.

The only guy who might have been even hated even more was the editor who worked in an office 25 feet away from Townsend.

Townsend didn't spend much time in Des Moines. I kept hearing that the Gannett Co. ran him off. The only thing I wondered was, if the large media company wanted him out of here was how and why he wound up as executive editor at the Burlington Free Press in Vermont -- a daily newspaper with a circulation of just under 50,000 during the week and just over 50,000 on Sunday.

I couldn't figure out why Gannett would do an awful thing like that to the good people of Vermont.

Fortunately, I never had to carry on a conversation with Townsend. The closest I got to him was when I'd be walking on the 8th Street sidewalk and I'd see him smoking cigarettes near the loading dock in the afternoon, like some naughty kid escaping a smoke-free newsroom. That's all I needed to know about the clown.

People would tell me he was an asshole to work with and that he had zero personality -- typical of the people Gannett puts into supervisory positions in its newsrooms across the land.

Two or three people told me about the day Maury White collapsed in the newsroom because of a stroke.

They said Townsend looked at White sprawled on the floor, and walked around him.

Later, I was told he asked a mid-range editor this question: "Who's that old guy laying on the floor?"

Well, it was just Maury White, who was in his 80s and had been the Register's sports columnist for 25 years or so.

White had retired, but still came into the office seven days a week because, for some unknown reason, he liked being there. Hell, I'll bet he was in the office more than Townsend was there.

It's inconceivable to me that Townsend didn't even know who White was because Maury used to sit at a desk with a computer about 10 feet from Townsend's office. I can't believe the two guys never exchanged any sort of conversation.

White died a few days after falling to the newsroom floor, and I teamed with Larry Lehmer to write his obituary.

Townsend didn't last at the Register much longer, and somehow wound up in Vermont.

Now people are raising hell with him again.

That's how it goes with editors who work for Gannett. They keep being moved from paper to paper, and they keep leaving a trail of blood wherever they go.

A woman who used to work at the Register and still keeps up with what's going on in the newspaper business e-mailed me a story on Townsend that was published in "Seven Days -- Vermont's Alternative Weekly."

It was written by Kevin J. Kelley, and it tells a story that could be told in Des Moines or anywhere else in the Gannett chain.

In her e-mail to me, the woman said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in Des Moines knows the answer to the question posed in this headline."

The headline she was referring to was at the top of the story she sent, and it said, "Why are so many workers leaving The Burlington Free Press?"

When I first saw the story, I scanned it and saw Townsend's name.

I e-mailed the woman and asked if it was the same Mike Townsend who was hated in Des Moines.

"That's the same one who was managing editor when the revolving doors were going rounnd and round at 715 Locust," she said.

Here's Kevin J. Kelley's story in its entirety:

Why are so many workers leaving The Burlington Free Press?

BURLINGTON — Mary Lake, 23, says she learned a lot during her one-year stint as a copy editor at The Burlington Free Press. “I worked with some of the best writers and editors I’ll probably ever meet,” she commented last week, a few days prior to quitting the paper. “The people there are very talented and hardworking, but they’re just overwhelmed. I learned what good journalism is and also how a publication can be not nearly as good as it should be.”

Lake, a St. Michael’s College journalism graduate, is leaving the Freeps in search of more flexibility, variety and a sense of personal achievement. She feels freelance reporting will give her all that — more of it, anyway, than her former employer provided. Frustration and alienation helped push the native Vermonter out the door of the state’s largest daily.

“What’s going on at the Free Press doesn’t make any sense,” Lake declares — not angrily, but mournfully. “Everything they’re doing is the opposite of what they should be doing to produce a great newspaper everyone can trust.”

The prime problem, in her view, is that the Freeps has “too many products and too few producers.” The paper should either reverse its recent expansions or hire more staffers, but it is doing neither, Lake observes.

In the past year, the Free Press has started publishing five free weeklies targeted to Colchester, Essex, South Burlington, Williston and Franklin County. Meanwhile, the paper is enlarging its freestanding weekend section and jazzing up its website with video and interactive elements. At the same time, it has been losing reporters and editors — lots of them.

The Free Press has been without a managing editor since last year. Eleven newsroom employees — roughly a fifth of the paper’s core staff — have departed in the past few months. Only a couple of those vacancies have been filled. The brain drain extends to other departments, too. The total workforce at 191 College Street has dwindled from 211 full-timers a year ago to fewer than 170 today, according to a current Free Press reporter who, like several others, agreed to speak only if guaranteed anonymity.

The exodus could continue and maybe even accelerate in the coming months. “Everyone I know at the paper is looking for another job,” Lake says. Another journalist describes the mood in the newsroom as “gotta get out while the getting’s good.” The reporter notes that it’s better to be searching for a new position while you’ve still got a job.

Fear of retribution — including firing — is the reason most often cited by half a dozen current Free Press employees for not attaching their names to their comments. Even some former newsroom workers worry about the repercussions of being identified. “It’s scary to say anything because Gannett owns so many newspapers,” says one reporter-turned-publicist. “I could be blacklisted if I ever tried to go back into journalism.”

The employment numbers supplied by an anonymous Free Press source cannot be confirmed. The Gannett Co., the Virginia-based owner of the Free Press, does not divulge payroll breakdowns for the 85 dailies in its stable. And Free Press Executive Editor Mike Townsend, designated by Publisher Jim Carey as the go-to guy for this story, declined to provide tallies of newsroom staffing.

Townsend also would not comment on a hypothesis shared by many Freepsters, past and present, which might explain what’s happening to the 180-year-old newspaper. “I’m not going to say they’re wrong or right about anything in that respect. There’s a lot about the economics of the media now that none of us understand,” Townsend says.

Gannett, the largest newspaper publisher in the United States, has a reputation within the industry for hypersensitivity to the bottom line. With 23 U.S. television stations and 17 United Kingdom publications also among its holdings, Gannett last year pocketed profits of $1.2 billion on revenues of $8 billion. Not too shabby. But the conglomerate’s profit margins have been narrowing in the age of the Internet due to declining revenues from newspaper advertising and circulation. Meanwhile, Gannett’s share prices have been tanking on Wall Street as investors fret over the future of old-school media brands.

The company does say that its local newspapers’ combined classified advertising revenue plummeted 13 percent in July. And Gannett’s annual reports show that the Free Press’ paid readership averaged 45,406 on weekdays and 52,008 on Sunday last year — 6,000 and 10,000 fewer, respectively, than in 1998 when Chittenden County’s population was significantly smaller than it is today.

Free Press employees interviewed for this story generally believe the paper remains among the most profitable of Gannett’s U.S. print properties. Rumor ranks it 6th out of 85. But none of the paid help knows for sure, because Gannett doesn’t divulge earnings reports for individual papers to employees. Townsend isn’t talking numbers, either.

In order to maintain profitability in the face of diminishing revenues, the theory holds, the Freeps has decided — on orders from headquarters in Virginia — to squeeze expenses by leaving job openings unfilled and by chopping employee perks.

As a result, the remaining employees are being required to do more work for the same pay. Some argue that their compensation is actually being reduced. The company’s recent decision to stop paying for about 100 staff parking spaces is saving the Free Press as much as $100,000 a year, but it is costing employees several dollars a week in garage charges, meter fees and parking tickets.

There’s also resentment over management’s rejection of a staff petition seeking an increase in the paper’s 30-cents-a-mile reimbursement rate for work-related car travel. The Free Press doesn’t pay for reporters to attend professional development conferences. And until a few months ago, “there was this guy who went around turning off lights all over the building,” Lake notes. “It was pretty funny because he’d often turn them off in the men’s room when someone was in there.”

In addition to sapping morale — which one veteran reporter describes as “the worst I’ve ever experienced at a newspaper” — this corporate penny-pinching is damaging the quality of journalism at The Burlington Free Press, according to newsroom sources. With fewer reporters and editors expected to generate and process ever greater amounts of content, “It’s inevitable you’re going to rely more on press releases and wire copy,” the same reporter says. “This paper is broken. There’s no real desire to improve.”

The greatest loss from the new order may be stories that never get written. “There’s less in-depth reporting because the paper can’t pull anyone off their regular beat and give them a couple of weeks to develop an analytical or investigative piece,” says one Free Press reporter.

The paper also can’t adequately cover important beats, this source adds. No reporter is assigned full-time to Fletcher Allen Health Care or the Burlington school system, for example. The Free Press also no longer maintains a year-round bureau at the State House in Montpelier.

Short, light and fluffy is now seen as the ideal form of newswriting at the Free Press, according to some reporters. At a newsroom strategy session, one reporter says, Carey held up a copy of People magazine as a model the Free Press should be striving to emulate.

The Freeps’ overseers in Virginia don’t show much concern for journalistic standards, suggests St. Michael’s journalism professor Traci Griffith. “Gannett is a corporation first and foremost,” she observes. “It just happens that this corporation does news. It could just as easily produce potato chips.”

But potato chip makers don’t have the special responsibility to the public that newspapers are supposed to have, Griffith adds. “If journalists want to hold onto all that’s said in the First Amendment, we’ve got to accept the responsibilities that go with it,” she declares. Griffith is referring to the press’ historic role as a monitor of powerful interests and a champion of the right to know.

Griffith does concede, however, that the forces buffeting Gannett and its franchises are raging throughout the entire media industry. Free Press employees are hardly unique in experiencing cutbacks and “speedups.” Hundreds of journalists have been pink-slipped at major metropolitan dailies in the past couple of years. A newsroom source says Freeps publisher Carey has mentioned layoffs as a possibility.

Gannett doesn’t deserve to be singled out as a cold-hearted villain, suggests Mark Jurkowitz, associate director of the Washington-based Project for Excellence in Journalism. A decade ago, he says, some journalists did denigrate Gannett as profit-obsessed while extolling The New York Times Co. as “the best steward of newspapers in the country.” But the turmoil in the ink trade unleashed by the rise of electronic media has changed all that, Jurkowitz adds. “It used to be that the good guys and bad guys were easily discerned. Now, some of those distinctions have gotten blurred,” he says.

Gannett is also not alone among legacy media companies in responding to a shifting, shaking industry landscape by experimenting with unfamiliar forms of information packaging and delivery. In fact, the company has ventured more boldly than most newspaper chains into uncharted terrain. The Free Press’ enhanced emphasis on local news is in keeping with one of Gannett’s chief tenets for success in the 21st century.

It assumes that most readers can easily get national and international news from Internet sites but have much greater difficulty in learning from the web what’s happening in their own communities. And media consumers do hunger for local news, Gannett believes on the basis of marketing surveys. The company thus sees intense localism as the key to continued prosperity.

On most days, therefore, the second page of the Free Press’ Vermont section is divided into four parts, each devoted to a particular community. This so-called quad contains stories and photos about Colchester, Essex, South Burlington and Williston. Many of the words and images will later be “re-purposed” for the free weeklies distributed to all suburban households that do not subscribe to the Free Press.

“The quad is an example of marketing driving the paper rather than news,” says a former Free Press reporter who tracked the towns. “It’s all about advertising. ‘Fill the quad, fill the quad,’ we were always being told. But it may well be that there’s no real news coming out of Essex, say, on a given day. So what are we going to do? Put in a picture of someone’s dog?”

Shots of pets do occasionally make their way into the quad. And the slot reserved for Colchester was recently filled with a preview of a local Wiffleball tournament.

The ultra-local approach embraced by the Free Press also features come-ons to readers to “get published.” The practice of encouraging town residents to write their own news stories is sometimes referred to as “citizen journalism.” But to one former towns reporter at the Freeps, “It’s not good journalism. It might not even be journalism.”

Gannett’s vision of newspapers as relentlessly localized in their content involves a greater reliance on journalistic technology. The company wants reporters to spend full days in the field, equipped with an array of digital devices that enable them to post stories and pictures directly onto the paper’s website at almost hourly intervals. These mobile journalists are referred to as “mojos.”

The Free Press has tried to develop its own squadron of mojos, one reporter recounts. “We got trained in shooting video, and we were all given laptops so we could file from wherever. But there’s not been much follow-through. The website is getting more and more glitzy, but it’s in-house techies who are driving that, not so much the reporters.”

For all its faults and struggles, there are many positive aspects of the 2007 incarnation of The Burlington Free Press, according to several current and former journalists. Not surprisingly, those offering favorable assessments are much more willing to be quoted by name.

Doreen Wright, for example, says she had no major complaints during her 35-year, mainly copy-editing career with Gannett — 22 at the Free Press and 13 at USA Today, the company’s trendsetting national daily. “The only reason I left was to get a life change,” says Wright, who has been working at the Essex Reporter for the past two months. “I like being on the day shift, Monday to Friday.”

Jeff Dickinson, a graphic artist who left the Free Press in June after 10 years, sees Gannett simply as “a business that’s trying to find ways to continue making money.” The company is putting considerable effort into website development, he says, “because that’s where advertising revenues are growing. What’s wrong with that?”

Dickinson also challenges the charge that the Freeps seldom reports in-depth. Reporters Candace Page and Molly Walsh both write those kinds of stories, he says.

The currently high rate of attrition may indicate nothing exceptional, Dickinson proposes. “The Free Press has always been a starter paper for most reporters,” he says. “Young journalists work there two or three years, they get some experience and then they move on. “

Mike Donoghue, a sports reporter who started filing for the Free Press in 1968 while still in high school, agrees that the spiking turnover may prove to be of little significance. The paper has experienced spates of resignations in the past, Donoghue recalls. And those exiting the newsroom in recent months had a variety of motives, he points out. Some were lured away by offers of higher pay in marketing or public relations; others left Vermont because a spouse was relocating; a few simply reached retirement age.

And at least a couple of former Freepsters are eager to return, Townsend says, noting he’s received resumes for copy editor openings from ex-employees. It isn’t as though newsroom jobs are hurtling toward extinction, Townsend adds. “There’s no end of the road for local news,” he says. “There’s also an incredible hunger for sports coverage.”

Staff morale isn’t so bad, Donoghue says. “I’d describe it more as a wondering attitude — people wondering what the future will hold.” Journalists at the Free Press and elsewhere do have good reason for feeling insecure in their jobs, Donoghue acknowledges. “It’s all a little scary when you see hundreds of people nationally being laid off.”

Would the situation be different if the Free Press were owned by locals, rather than a conglomerate with 50,000 employees? Probably not, says Griffith of the St. Mike’s journalism department. “It’s such a tough climate out there now, I don’t know how a locally owned business could cope better than Gannett.”

Jeff Pinkham, who left the Free Press in June after eight years as a sports reporter, now writes for a newspaper with an ownership arrangement that some journalists would view as ideal. The Idaho Falls Post Register has been employee-owned for almost a decade.

So it’s a better place to work than the Free Press, right? Pinkham isn’t sure about that.

“There’s less red tape here,” he says, “and we can change direction more quickly than a paper owned by Gannett. But I’ve only been here a month. Ask me how I feel a year from now.”

*

Kevin J. Kelley teaches journalism and English at St. Michael's College. Mary Lake is a former student. Donoghue and Griffith are colleagues.

*

Burlington Free Press logo courtesy of the newspaper.

'These Cold, Hard Statistics Tell Us How Far Down the Hawkeye Offense Has Fallen; So We Can't Have Any Warm Expectations for the Team'

Longtime Hawkeye football fan Al Schallau has what he calls the cold, hard numbers on the team's offense this season and last.

Consequently, Schallau [pictured] doesn't see much good coming from this season's team, as he points out in this e-mail:

Ron,

We Hawkeye fans very fondly remember the 2002 and 2003 seasons, when Iowa took the opening kickoff and then marched down the field for a touchdown almost every game. It is telltale to observe the Hawkeyes' statistics on their opening game "drives" during 2006 and 2007.

The cold, hard statistics below tell us how far down the Hawkeye offense has fallen, and, unfortunately, tell us that we cannot have any warm expectations for the Iowa football team in 2007.

These are the results from Iowa's opening drives for 2006 and 2007 in reverse order. The Hawks started with the ball every game with the exception of the 2006 ISU game. Here are some stats: 16 possessions (11 punts, 2 fumbles, 1 INT, 1 missed FG, 1 TD) 111 plays from scrimmage 369 total yards.

Not very good for a team that scripts the first 12-15 plays each game.

2007

at Iowa State (ISU won the toss and deferred, Iowa receives); Iowa offense -- 3 plays, 0 yards. Donahue punt of 37 yards.

vs. Syracuse (Iowa won the toss and elected to receive); Iowa offense -- 9 plays, 23 yards. Donahue punt of 8 yards.

at Northern Illinois (NIU won the toss and deferred, Iowa receives);Iowa offense - 3 plays, 6 yards. Donahue punt of 39 yards.

2006

vs. Texas (Texas won the toss and deferred, Iowa receives); Iowa offense -- 9 plays, 77 yards. Albert Young touchdown, Schlicher PAT.

at Minnesota (Minnesota won the toss and deferred, Iowa receives)Iowa offense - 6 plays, 31 yards. Drew Tate fumble recovered by Minnesota.

vs. Wisconsin (Iowa won the toss and elected to receive); Iowa offense - 6 plays, 18 yards. Fenstermaker punt of 36 yards.

vs. Northwestern (Northwestern won the toss and deferred, Iowa receives); Iowa offense -- 7 plays, 32 yards. Fenstermaker punt of 48 yards.

vs. Northern Illinois (Iowa won the toss and elected to receive); Iowa offense - 3 plays, 5 yards. Christensen intercepted on a tipped pass.

at Michigan (Iowa won the toss and elected to receive); Iowa offense -- 5 plays, 11 yards. Fenstermaker punt of 36 yards.

at Indiana (Iowa won the toss and elected to receive); Iowa offense -- 9 plays, 32 yards. Schlicher missed 51-yard field goal.

vs. Purdue (Iowa won the toss and elected to receive); Iowa offense -- 3 plays, 64 yards. Sims fumble recovered by Purdue.

vs. Ohio State (Iowa won the toss and elected to receive); Iowa offense -- 3 plays, -1 yard. Fenstermaker punt of 44 yards.

at Illinois (Iowa won the toss and elected to receive); Iowa offense -- 3 plays, 7 yards. Fenstermaker punt of 40 yards.

vs. Iowa State (ISU won the toss and elected to receive); ISU offense -- After 62-yard KO return, 8 plays, 37 yards, touchdown Blythe. Iowa's first possession -- 7 plays, 43 yards. Fenstermaker punt of 26 yards.

at Syracuse (Iowa receives, no data on who won the coin toss); Iowa offense -- 5 plays, 12 yards. Fenstermaker punt of 48 yards.

vs. Montana (Montana won the toss and deferred, Iowa receives); Iowa offense -- 3 plays, 9 yards. Fenstermaker punt of 34 yards.

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Well, Al, the Hawkeyes take a 2-1 record into Saturday night's Big Ten Conference opener at Wisconsin, and I guess all a fan can hope is that the situation starts improving soon. I don't expect things to be very pretty at Madison, where former Iowa player and assistant coach Bret Bielema has a powerhouse program. But the Hawkeyes have some teams on their schedule they can beat, starting with Indiana on Sept. 29 in the homecoming game at Iowa City. Lots of Iowa fans still don't care for offensive coordinator Ken O'Keefe [and defensive coordinator Norm Parker, for that matter], but I'm guessing Indiana is a team the Hawkeyes will be able to handle.]

'It's No Wonder When Walt Shotwell's Name Is Mentioned, People Wax Poetic About Him.' Plus, More About Religion Classes Wartburg Players Take

R. H. of Des Moines had a quick response to a couple of my columns this week -- the one about Walt Shotwell that included Walt's thoughts on withdrawing from Iraq responsibly and the one that had a note about Wartburg College football players and other students at the Waverly institution taking a course in the Bible:

Ron,

Out of all of the rhetoric and the hubris, Mr. Shotwell has proposed the most sensible, non-partisan, straight-forward idea to date. It's no wonder why when Walt's name is mentioned in this town, people's ears perk up and wax poetic about him. It will be insane if the pool of candidates stop worrying about the public opinion polls and call Walt up and ask him more about his proposal. From a perspective, this crop of candidates look like they are running for the student council: the most popular person in the U.S. Senate with the most popular votes will be the Homecoming King (or Queen).

I would like to add more information to the Wartburg College story regarding the students taking religion classes. As a proud 1998 alum of the quaint and active college in beautiful Waverly, your source is correct about the football team being required to take religion classes. It is part of the curriculum and a requirement for all students in order to graduate. In fact, if memory serves me correctly, all students have to take a class each from the following disciplines: science, sociology, and religion.

The premise is not to force feed the Lutheran aspect through the religion classes (since Wartburg is an ELCA institution), it's to give students a chance to understand the mysteries and the stories of the Bible, how it relates to today's society, and to gain an appreciation of their own religious background. I learned more about the Bible in college than I did in church and Sunday School combined as a young lad! It looks like that Gene Chizik's idea of having a team pastor (life skills coach in Political Correctness lingo) looks like a smart move. I seconded the motion that Kirk Ferentz may have to look into getting a team pastor for his team. They really need some inspiration.

Oh, before I forget, it's Wartburg-Luther week up in Northeast Iowa. Behind Iowa vs. Iowa State and Coe vs. Cornell, this is one of the most heated rivalries in Division III, not to mention one of the wildest when it comes to the fans. While the football game is a big deal, it's the pranks and practical jokes that continue to steal the headlines leading up to the game. From a greased pig running on the court during basketball season to pouring atrazine on each other's football fields in the form of a "W" or a "L." From Wartburg cross-country runners flying a plane over the Luther campus and dropping leaflets asking for a "Luther Sucks" stocking cap to be returned, to the Wartburg journalism students pulling off an "Animal House" stunt at the Luther homecoming parade, this series is something that a true football fan should make an effort to see the charm and the fun of small college football.

This year's game is at picturesque Carlson Stadium in Decorah this Saturday. If my schedule clears up by Thursday, I'm heading up there. If not, I'll be listening to the broadcast online, courtesy of KWAR-FM.

Go Knights! Beat Luther!

R.H.
Des Moines

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Thanks for your comments, R. H. And Walt Shotwell thanks you, too. Shotwell told me he was glad to know that a reader had reacted in this space to his ideas for an Iraq withdrawal -- a guest commentary he originally wrote for Cityview. He also recalled the column he wrote years ago for the paper which drew the ire of then-Iowa basketball coach Lute Olson. "I was pissed off because he recruited Iowa's High School Basketball Player of the Year (Todd Berkenpas, who lettered from 1982 through 1985 and played two seasons for Olson), then Lute wouldn't let him shoot," Shotwell told me in an e-mail. "He was MVP in one of the early games, then he never got much playing time. And when he did get into a game and took a shot, Lute yanked him." They always say that a team's style of play often reflects the personality of the coach, and those Hawkeye squads coached by Olson frequently were uncertain and tentative in the late stages of games. Olson recruited more talented players when he went to Arizona. He won a national championship there, but he still has plenty of critics. R. H. is turning me into a Wartburg fan, and I'll be paying close attention to what happens when the Knights play Saturday at Luther. I've got relatives who live in Decorah, but I know they won't mind if I say that I like what's taking place on the football field and in the classroom at Wartburg].

*

Wartburg College logo courtesy of Wikipedia. Photo of the Bible courtesy of Google.

Walt Shotwell, the Talented and Prolific Writer

Over the years, Walt Shotwell of Des Moines has always been one of my favorite writers.

Shotwell isn't just a very good writer, he's a prolific very good writer.

The man who is no youngster anymore writes books, he writes op-ed pieces for newspapers, he writes guest commentaries, he writes letters to the editor, he probably writes things I don't even know about.

Amd he does all of them well. He thinks things through and he always makes sense.

I remember when he even wrote something about Lute Olson .

Yes, Lute Olson, the man who invented basketball.

No, wait a second. Olson would just like you to think he invented basketball.

Shotwell was writing newsside columns for the paper then, and he authored a piece that critiqued how Olson's teams at the University of Iowa were playing in the final minutes of games.

I think Shotwell wrote that Olson's teams tended to tighten up in those last minutes to the point that the players were afraid to shoot.

Olson, naturally, didn't like what Shotwell wrote, and he made people around him -- probably Shotwell, too -- aware he didn't like it.

Olson did that a lot. In those days, he was critical every other day or so of what I was writing about him. The guy couldn't stand to be second-guessed, and I don't think he's changed much now that he's in his 70s and still coaching.

I agreed with everything Shotwell wrote about the thin-skinned coach, who left Iowa for the University of Arizona after complaining that he and his family were living in a "fishbowl" atmosphere in Iowa City.

Anyway, it was good to know that Shotwell and I had at least one thing in common. We both got Olson pissed off with something we wrote.

I used to see Shotwell [who is pictured] more often than I do now. A number of years ago he and I were among a group of people that played tennis at some ungodly hour in the morning. And whenever I played Shotwell, he beat me.

Not only was the guy a talented writer, he was a talented tennis player.

That brings me to the e-mail I received the other day from Shotwell, which contained a copy of a guest commentary he had written for Cityview that was headlined "How To Disengage From Iraq Responsibly."

I don't read Cityview very often, so I'm glad Shotwell sent me what he wrote. I asked if he wanted me to print his thoughts in this space, and he said, "Sure, do it. Maybe you'll start a fuss."

Well, I'm good at that.

Olson even wrote about me in his recent book, and it wasn't like he was inviting me to his home in Tucson for dinner and drinks the next time I was out there.

So here's Shotwell's piece that appeared in Cityview:

By Walt Shotwell

HOW TO DISENGAGE FROM IRAQ RESPONSIBLY

Here’s a surefire way to start withdrawing from Iraq almost immediately without leaving that country in chaos.

Instead of unsuccessful strategies handed down from generals and politicians at the top, initiatives should start at the bottom, with perhaps an infantry company, a platoon or even a battalion.

An infantry company has about 100 soldiers: a platoon has about 28. The United States could assign 100 Iraqi trainees to an American company, which would train the Iraqis one-on-one under combat conditions. Once the Iraqis are trained to the satisfaction of U.S. officers, the American company would get to go home.

Think of the incentive!

The plan is foolproof because it could be tested with two or three military units of various sizes. If it didn’t work, no harm. But if it did work, the U.S. could pull out of Iraq gradually, leaving behind well-trained Iraqis.

American officers and non-coms would eagerly bring the Iraqis up to snuff so they could go home. Television viewers watch Americans patrolling Iraqi neighborhoods with no Iraqi troops in sight. This should be corrected. Every American should have an Iraqi trainee at his side until the Iraqi unit is capable of replacing the Americans.

Everyone calls for Iraqi forces to take over, but it isn’t happening because Iraqis aren’t being trained for specific objectives. Everyone wants to bring the Americans home.

But are any American troops coming home? No. More are being added.

Training Iraqis in individual small units, then sending the Americans home, would be a risk-free shot at ending American involvement in Iraq. American generals, locked into chain-of-command traditions, probably wouldn’t take kindly to such an offbeat proposal.

But many of these same generals agree that this is a different kind of war in which different tactics are needed. One such tactic would be to encourage American units to train Iraqi units by using on-the-job training methods.

Such an offbeat approach is worth a try, and American generals should have the authority to set the idea in motion without White House approval. The U.S. would have nothing to lose, and it just might work.

This idea has been proposed to presidential candidates, elected officials and several news outlets, including The Des Moines Register. No one has embraced the idea, but neither has anyone explained why it wouldn’t work. Almost all presidential candidates have proposed “plans” for leaving Iraq, but none has specified exactly “how” they’d do it.

Offbeat as it may sound, this plan offers a “how.”

(Walt Shotwell worked as a columnist for The Des Moines Register from 1980 to 1991. He is also a decorated Army Air Corps combat veteran of World War II, who later flew five years for the Iowa Air National Guard, and was a member of an Air Force group commander’s staff during the Korean War.)

There's Absolutely No Excuse For a Hawkeye Football Team Being Outplayed and Outhustled by An Iowa State Squad That Was Expected To Lose By 17 Points

A week ago, I was wondering if Iowa was a good football team or a so-so football team.

After victories over Northern Illinois and Syracuse, there was no way I could tell.

Northern Illinois and Syracuse were two bad teams then, and they're still bad teams.

After a 15-13 loss at Iowa State, I'm thinking Iowa is a so-so team. Not bad, but certainly not good.

There was no excuse for the Hawkeyes being flat emotionally in the first half of Saturday's game.

If you can't get your dauber up for Iowa State, you deserve to lose.

A team favored by 17 1/2 points -- as Iowa was at Ames -- has no business being outplayed and outhustled in the first half.

Iowa's players and coaches should share the blame equally for that debacle at Jack Trice Stadium.

*

I overheard a couple of guys talking after the Iowa-Iowa State game.

"I don't think the Big Ten is a very good league," one of them said.

"Yeah, I know. I see Minnesota got beat by a trade school," the other guy said.

"Some people would say Iowa got beat by a trade school, too," the other commented.

Minnesota lost to something called Florida Atlantic, 42-39.

I'm not sure, but a kid might be able to get a degree in spot-welding at Florida Atlantic.

*

Before the season began, I picked Iowa to have an 8-4 regular season record.

Make that 7-5 now. The other losses will be to Wisconsin, Penn State, Purdue and Northwestern.

It's not looking good, folks.

*

As for the Cyclones, I figured they'd go 0-12 after their losses to Kent State and Northern Iowa.

With the schedule they've got, I'm predicting 1-11 now.

You really don't think they're going to win at Toledo, do you?

*

I guess Drake will be going for the mythical state championship Saturday.

If the Bulldogs beat Northern Iowa, it's theirs.

UNI beat Iowa State and Iowa State beat Iowa.

So Steve Loney's Bulldogs should get some sort of mythical state championship football trophy if they upset UNI in Des Moines.

*

I know there are a number of people who think things could get ugly Saturday for Iowa in its game at Wisconsin.

But the Hawkeyes played Bret Bielema's Badgers tough last season in s 24-21 loss, and I'm starting to think Wisconsin isn't the powerhouse this year that some people think.

I mean, if you're a Badger fan are you going to feel comfortable after a 45-31 victory over The Citadel?

*

I don't know who deserves more credit for Iowa State's victory over Iowa -- Gene Chizik or the team pastor.

*

Wartburg College has had a very strong football program in recent years, and the team is good again this season.

I hear that the players are required to take a course in reading and understanding the Bible at some point in their careers at Wartburg. The same is true at Concordia of St. Paul.

A guy in the academic field who knows about such things says he thinks most church-related colleges or universities probably require their students to take a Bible course.

That sounds like a great idea to me, and one that the University of Iowa should turn to.

*

Tire Ad City:

Drake 20, Wisconsin-Platteville 7 on page 7 of the Sunday sports section.

*

It was good seeing class act John Carlson in the press box at Ames.

Mike Hlas, Jim Sullivan, Chuck Schoffner, Randy Peterson and Andrew Logue, too.

*

Maybe Iowa State should wear those uniforms from the Earle Bruce coaching era the rest of the season.

*

My West Coast Correspondent had a tough weekend.

"Disgusting ... How do you have linebackers covering receivers?" he asked in an e-mail.

Iowa linebacker Mike Klinkenborg would like some answers, too.

*

Lots of contributors to the Hawkeye call-in shows on the radio after the game felt the same way.

Let's put it this way. It's not a good idea for the families of Hawkeye defensive coordinator Norm Parker and offensive coordinator Ken O'Keefe to be listening to the radio these days.

A number of callers want Parker retired and O'Keefe coaching in his backyard.

*

Iowa fan Mark Robinson responded to my column from last week, in which I wondered if Iowa State coach Gene Chizik understands the significance of the Cyclone-Hawkeye rivalry:

"Ron, the real question which needs to be asked is if Kirk Ferentz understands the Iowa-Iowa State rivalry," Robinson wrote. "Chizik seems to understand it just fine."

All I know is that I've seen far too many Iowa-Iowa State games in recent seasons when the Hawkeyes were flat emotionally in the first half, and occasionally throughout the game.

Like I wrote earlier, there's absolutely no excuse for that.

*

I sat next to veteran Iowa sportscaster Bob Brooks throughout the game in the press box at Jack Trice Stadium.

Brooksie couldn't figure it out either, and he's been watching Hawkeye football since Nile Kinnick was suiting up.

*

As I expected, the paper didn't send a reporter to Lincoln for Nebraska's 49-31 loss to No. 1-ranked Southern California.

Or to Platteville for the Drake game. Or to Brookings, S.D., for Northern Iowa's 31-17 victory over South Dakota State.

The company cars must have been out of gas.

*

Photo of Iowa State coach Gene Chizik [right] being congratulated by school president Gregory Geoffroy following the Cyclones' 15-13 victory over Iowa courtesy of the Associated Press. Either that or it's one of those, "We've got to quit meeting in places like this" scenarios. Old Geoffroy really gets with it, doesn't he? He looks like he's ready to suit up and start working on the tackling dummy in practice. Charlie Neibergall took the photo.

Don Lund: 'It Amazes Me How ISU Can Play 2 Sorry Games, Then Step Up With an Almost Perfect First Half [In Its 15-13 Victory Over the Hawkeyes]'

My friend Don Lund, an Iowa football student manager in 1974 and 1975 who now is a sportswriter and photographer for the North Liberty Leader, sent me his thoughts on Saturday's Iowa-Iowa State game.

Here's the story from Lund's perspective:

One of the worst things about traveling to Ames to play Iowa State (besides their fans) is the wind tunnel they call Jake Trice Stadium.

The stadium is open at both the north and south ends, so any wind at all will affect the game.

That’s why when Iowa lost the toss and the Clones deferred I felt more nervous before the opening kickoff.

Iowa would receive, but face a stiff wind in their face for the entire first quarter.
It still amazes me how some teams, like Iowa State, can play two sorry games in a row, turn the ball over, have no blocking, play no defense, can’t make a field goal and then step up and play an almost perfect first half, like they did against the Hawks and hold on to win 15-13 on a last second field goal.

The Cyclones took advantage of Iowa’s “bend don’t break” philosophy in the first half by throwing 5-7 yard passes and although the Hawks didn’t give up a touchdown the four field goals by the Clones gave them a 12-0 halftime lead.

It was a little like last year's game in Iowa City when State jumped out to a 14-10 lead. The difference was Iowa outscored them 17-7 in the second half. This year the Hawks had a 13-3 advantage in the second half…which left them three points short of a victory.

“Culbertson is probably a good representative of their football team,” said Iowa head coach Kirk Ferentz about the Clone kicker. “He comes into the game 0-3 in attempts and was perfect today, or at least hit five of them. All in all they came ready to play. We struggled with some things particularly in the first half and bottom line they played a good football game, they played extremely hard and deserved to win.”

As good as Iowa’s offense looked last week, State showed some new looks on defense that confused the young offensive line with only two starters back from last year.
“They gave us a couple of wrinkles that we hadn’t seen on tape and that was expected,” said Coach Ferentz.

“That part didn’t surprise us but they had us rattled a little bit. We never got any tempo going in the first half. We had the long field basically I think the entire first half. It seemed like every possession started on the 20 and we weren’t making first downs and when you can’t do that we left the defense out there way to much. Really we were fortunate to be down only 12-0 at half.”

Albert Young and Damian Sims were held in check as Albert picked up 60 yards and Damian 45.

Jake Christensen, who scored the only touchdown of the game on an 11-yard naked bootleg in the third quarter, had to scramble around all afternoon and was sacked four times for a minus-30 yards.

Jake had a decent day, going 12-23 for 118 yards, but his longest pass went for only 15 yards. Iowa ran a couple of quarterback draws and Jake showed some good running ability which could pay off down the line.

The defense, led by Mike Klinkenborg and Mike Humpal who both had 11 tackles, didn’t give up a TD for the third straight week. Holding a team to five field goals should mean a victory but not last Saturday.

“We had our backs up against the wall plenty of times and to buckle down in the red zone and only allow them a field goal. I guess being on the losing end that’s a good thing that we accomplished,” said Mike Humpal. “Not winning, I guess, hurt a lot more.”

Bret Meyer, State’s QB, showed good patience completing 21-29 passes for 157 yards. Almost all of his completions were the 5-7 yard type and he only went downfield a couple of times. One was on the final drive that went for 38 yards and set up the winning field goal.

The Hawks had a tough time putting pressure on Bret as he can avoid the rush and has good mobility. He picked up 55 yards on 10 carries and kept the Iowa D off balance.
Bret might not be the greatest quarterback at Iowa State but last Saturday he played like a fifth year senior that is ranked fifth on the all time Big 12 lists for career total yards and career passing yards.

“Our guys had to use a lot of energy defensively the first half,” said coach Ferentz. “But the team really battled back in all three areas. We battled back in that second half and did some very good things out there and I thought the guys competed right down to the end and that’s all you could ask them to do. After that it’s the credit goes to Iowa State.”

I’d like to give Iowa State credit,…but I’m not going to. They played better than the Hawks last Saturday, but we’ll see if they can match that the rest of the year.

I still believe Iowa will improve,…especially on offense. Special team play was okay but Ryan Donahue cannot keep shanking a punt every game and giving the other team good field position. His six punts averaged only 35.8 yards.

The kickoff coverage was decent and D.J. Koulianos almost broke the final kickoff for a score which would have won the game. The return covered 65 yards but a holding penalty would have negated it.

Austin Signor hit two field goals but had one blocked and who knows, that might have been the difference in the game.

Iowa opens Big Ten play at Madison this Saturday and if they think Ames was hostile...

“If we’re not motivated for this upcoming week then I don’t know what we’re going to get motivated for,” said Mike Humpal. “We need to get back on the right track and keep working hard and hopefully things will turn around.”

The 9th-ranked Badgers are starting out favored by 9.5 points… Well, at least the Bears beat the Chiefs!

*

Photo of Don Lund by Ron Maly.

Nancy Raffensperger Newhoff Is First Woman In the 148-Year History Of the Waterloo Courier To Hold Top News Position

R.H. of Des Moines sent me an e-mail today that contained some very good news.

Nancy Raffensperger Newhoff has been named editor of the Waterloo Courier.

Nancy is the daughter of Gene Raffensperger of West Des Moines, a good friend of mine. Gene is a former Des Moines Register sports editor and city editor. He also headed the newspaper's Eastern Iowa News Bureau in Davenport.

Nancy Newhoff's husband, Doug Newhoff, is sports editor of the Waterloo Courier, and she is the granddaughter of the late Leonard Raffensperger, a former football coach at the University of Iowa and East Waterloo High School.

Here's R.H.'s e-mail:

Hi Ron,

With the Iowa-Iowa State game on Saturday, and the talk about Laura Hollingsworth being the new publisher of the Des Moines Register, there is great news for the Raffensperger family again up in Waterloo. On Thursday, Nancy Raffensperger Newhoff was named editor of the Waterloo Courier by publisher Nancy Green. Newhoff replaces Saul Shapiro, who is now at my alma mater, Wartburg College as an administrator. Nancy, as we know, is the daughter of Gene Raffensperger and granddaughter of Leonard Raffensperger.

The story and photo of Nancy Newhoff, courtesy of the Waterloo Courier, follows:

By PAT KINNEY
Courier Business Editor

WATERLOO --- A respected award-winning journalist with nearly three decades of experience has been named editor of The Courier.

That journalist has spent her entire professional career at the Courier, covering the people and events of the Cedar Valley.

Courier Publisher Nancy L. Green announced that Courier Managing Editor Nancy Raffensperger Newhoff will succeed Saul Shapiro as Courier editor, effective immediately. In May, Shapiro accepted a position at Wartburg College in Waverly after 24 years at the paper. Newhoff, with 28 years at the Courier, has served as interim editor since his departure.

Newhoff, 50, becomes the first woman in the Courier's 148-year history to hold the top spot in the paper's news operation --- but she has been its drivetrain for the past 16 years, as city editor and managing editor. Prior to that, she followed a Courier tradition with her hard-charging police and courts reporting, for which she won numerous writing and reporting awards --- a competitiveness she continues to impart to her staff.

Green knew Newhoff was the woman for the job --- before Newhoff even knew herself. Though Newhoff initially did not seek the position, Green quietly mentored her through the summer.

"One of the things that I saw was Nancy has always been really well organized," Green said. "She knows news and she knows local news and that's what we're all about. It was a matter of her taking the reins and having the opportunity to see that she could really do the job, and I think she's done exceedingly well this summer."

"I'm flattered that I was asked to take this job," Newhoff said. "I initially told Publisher Nancy Green no, that I didn't feel that I was ready for this job and that an outsider's viewpoint would be helpful. She apparently saw something in me that I didn't see. By the end of the summer, I felt a lot better about it. And when she asked me again, after some careful thinking and consultation with family, I decided I was ready for the challenge.

"And it will be a challenge," Newhoff said. "I have a lot to learn yet, but I don't make any decisions without consulting with people around me. There's some really good people to turn to, to ask questions and discuss issues."

Green praised Newhoff's performance in the interim period. "I think we've done a really good job of ramping up local (news) focus on our Web site, and in our news columns, and Nancy has really led through this transition very successfully," Green said.

Newhoff said Shapiro, her predecessor, "gave me so much freedom to grow in overseeing the newsroom" and still provided comfort as a sounding board, which she no longer had with his departure.

"I had some hesitancy about whether I could step into those shoes and still have confidence in myself," she said. "I had to convince myself, and that's what I think I've finally done."

"And she's got so many years here," Green added. "Twenty-eight years in this community and at this newspaper gives her such a wealth of understanding and knowledge. It's invaluable to us, especially at this time when the Cedar Valley is growing and changing. And Nancy can put that all in perspective."

Some changes have already been made, Newhoff said, including moving Courier editorials to the middle of the editorial page, and establishing an in-house editorial board to discuss issues of potential editorials.

"The changes will be subtle," she said. "Some of our biggest challenges are continuing to put out a great print product and have the dual job of putting out a great on-line site. That means creating unique material for the Web site that does not mimic the paper, so that readers can enjoy news in the paper and still go to the Web site, or the converse, and feel like they're not reading the same thing again, or getting the exact same news. That's one of the challenges newspapers have today, is keeping both products viable."

Newhoff graduated from the University of Iowa in 1979 and began working at the Courier in August of that year. As the Courier's police and courts reporter, she won numerous state writing and reporting awards for several stories, including the 1981 slaying of Waterloo police officers Michael Hoing and Wayne Rice, and the subsequent manhunt, trial and conviction of James Michael "T-Bone" Taylor for the shootings.

Newhoff also was honored for her coverage of a 1982 pipeline explosion near Hudson; the circumstances surrounding the 1985 death of a 4-year-old Cedar Falls girl at the hands of her mother; and a man's slow recovery from a bullet wound to the head caused by a robber. Newhoff and former Courier City Editor Dan Dundon also were honored for a 1982 investigative piece on how much time government officials actually spent on the job.

In 1989, Newhoff was named assistant city editor. In September 1991 she took over supervision of the Courier's day-to-day news operations when she was named city editor, responsibilities she continued to hold after taking on additional duties as managing editor in 1995.

In 2001 she won an Iowa Associated Press Managing Editors award for column writing, and was named master columnist by the Iowa Newspaper Association in 2002.

In 2003 she and Shapiro won the First Amendment award from the Iowa Associated Press for their successful efforts in an open meetings violation lawsuit the paper filed against Hawkeye Community College in 1999, concerning the circumstances surrounding the departure of former HCC president William Hierstein.

Newhoff, raised mainly in Davenport and West Des Moines, has deep roots in the Cedar Valley and in journalism. She is the granddaughter of Leonard Raffensperger, a well-known East High School football coach and teacher, who went on to coach football at the University of Iowa in 1950 and '51. Her father, East graduate Gene Raffensperger, enjoyed a long career at the Des Moines Register as a reporter, city editor and sports editor. He is a member of East High's Hall of Fame.

"He has written me a wonderful note about how proud he is of me and how he knew I was up for this challenge," Newhoff said.

Newhoff is married to Courier Sports Editor Doug Newhoff. They met at the Courier and will celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary next year. They have two children, Drew, a senior at Wartburg; and Nicky, a freshman at Clarke College in Dubuque; a new puppy, Kirby; and two cats.

Contact Pat Kinney at (319) 291-1484 or pat.kinney@wcfcourier.com

Take Care (and Go Hawks!)

R.H.
Des Moines

Iowa State Better Hope First-Year Coach Chizik Has a Feel for the Hawkeye Series. If He Doesn't, He Could Get Himself Into Bigtime Trouble Very Soon

For the sake of Iowa State's football program, I hope Gene Chizik [pictured at the lower right] has developed a feel for the Cyclones' series with Iowa.

If he doesn't, things could ugly in a hurry for the first-year coach.

Ask Jim Criner all about that.

Criner [pictured at the lower left] had the misfortune of being the guy who replaced Donnie Duncan as Iowa State's coach in 1983.

Duncan was a man who did understand the Iowa State-Iowa rivalry. Criner either couldn't or didn't.

Duncan's first season with the Cyclones was 1979, and he began seeing how strongly Iowans felt about the Cyclone-Hawkeye series immediately.

His '79 team lost its third game of the season to Hayden Fry and Iowa, 30-14, in Iowa City -- but he didn't get beat in the rivalry again.

Amazingly, Duncan's Cyclones beat Fry's Hawkeyes three consecutive times -- 10-7 in 1980, 23-12 in 1981 and 19-7 in 1982.

Duncan became famous for either assigning his players and assistant coaches to carry him off the field after those victories, or they did it without being prompted. An example of his joy over beating Iowa is illustrated at the top of this column in the Sept. 20, 1981 Des Moines Register photograph of the game I saw from the press box.

Duncan is pointing at the fans, probably from both Iowa State and Iowa, and feeling pretty damn good about things.

In those days, Butch Henry, who then was Iowa State's sports information director, had the framed front pages of newspaper sports sections that told of the Cyclones' victories over Iowa displayed in offices in the athletic department.

The trouble was, Donnie's teams couldn't rise to the occasion very often any other time in those seasons, and Fry said Duncan's strong emphasis on the Iowa State-Iowa series cost his teams later in the season.

In 1983, Duncan was gone -- knowing he was not going to be the Iowa State coaching solution over the long haul.

So the university hired Criner as the coach, and his bosses emphasized they didn't want him making a bigger deal out of the Iowa State-Iowa series than it already was.

Poor Jimbo.

In his 1983 season opener, his Cyclones were trounced by Iowa, 51-10. In 1984, the Hawkeyes won, 59-21, and in 1985 it was a 57-3 mismatch. Iowa won, 43-7, in 1986, and Criner didn't even survive the season.

He was replaced by assistant coach Chuck Banker late in the year, then Jim Walden took over as Iowa State's coach the following season.

Walden lost eight straight times to Fry, and it was left to Dan McCarney to put some competitivenes into the rivalry. McCarney's 1998 Cyclones ended a string of 15 straight Iowa State losses with a 27-9 victory in Iowa City.

Now McCarney is gone after a dozen seasons, and -- like I wrote earlier in this column -- Iowa State had better hope Chizik knows what the Iowa State-Iowa rivalry is all about.

You'd think he would. He came here after being an assistant at Texas, and the Longhorns are aware of rivalries. Certainly a couple of them are Oklahoma and Texas A&M.

Even though Kirk Ferentz was an assistant on Fry's teams, it took him a while to get things going generally -- and in the series against Iowa State particularly.

I certainly wouldn't say Ferentz didn't appreciate the significance of the rivalry, but he somehow lost four straight times to McCarney's Cyclones -- in 1999, 2000, 2001 and 2002.

In the 2001 game, which was moved from early in the season to Nov. 24 in Ames because of the 9/11 terrorism attacks, Iowa came out flat, and Ferentz said afterward that he didn't know why.

I guess I couldn't figure out at the time why the Hawkeyes' players wouldn't be at a an emotional peak against Iowa State in what turned into the final regular season game.

Ferentz and his players got things straightened out with a 40-21 victory over Iowa State in 2003.

So here we are, getting ready for Saturday's 12:30 p.m. game at Jack Trice Stadium in Ames. I'll be in the press box [top photo] again.

Iowa has a 2-0 record in Ferentz's ninth season, and Iowa State is 0-2 in Chizik's first season.

Sometimes strange things happen in the Iowa State-Iowa rivalry. Chizik had better hope things aren't strange in a Jim Criner sort of way tomorrow.

Husker Humor

Ron Maly is out of the office today. He's headed for the salmon platter at the Des Moines Register retirees' lunch buffet.

So the editorial staff of www.wesleyvaclav.blogspot.com is teaming up to write this column.

We hope Ron doesn't get pissed about the snotty comments we put in here.

As for the photo accompanying this story, you can tell that Bob Devaney and Tom Osborne are gone from the scene.

Well, at least from the Nebraska football coaching scene.

The best the Cornhuskers can do now is put out T-shirts like the one pictured here.

The photo of the shirt, by the way, was sent to Ron by Marv and Ruth Hiddleson, bigtime Iowa fans who are neighbors of him.

They e-mailed the picture to Ron this morning.

Bill Callahan's 14th-ranked Nebraska team plays No. 1-ranked Southern California at 7 p.m. Saturday in Memorial Stadium at Lincoln.

Even though Ron likes to keep the language and the pictures in these columns as clean as possible, he'll make an occasional exception when people like Marv and Ruth send him something.

USC is a 9-point favorite to win the game.

ESPN's "Game Day" crew will make it a complete Saturday by airing its show from 9 to 11 a.m. from Lincoln.

We're guessing that Lee Corso will again be part of the crew.

Yeah, we agree with you. That's too bad.

We guess people in Lincoln are pretty excited about the "Game Day" guys being in town, although we have to be kind of careful with what we say about all of that because Ron has relatives living there.

You'd think the Des Moines Register would cover the Nebraska-USC game, but that's open to question these days.

The paper didn't send a reporter to Lincoln for Tuesday's press conference that featured Callahan and the Huskers' players.

We thought that was kind of dumb--even in these tough economic times at the paper.

There may be a big volleyball tournament in central Iowa on Saturday, so maybe the paper can't shake a reporter loose to drive to Lincoln.

Or maybe there aren't any company cars available because five or six presidential hopefuls will be spreading their usual bullshit around the state.

Whatever, if you need a final score on the game, Ron will have it posted in these columns when the game is over. Anything to help his readers -- and the Register's readers.

By the way, he's picking USC to win, 35-25.

He didn't tell us if he had any money on it.

Heard Over the Moo Goo Gai Pan and the Crab Rangoon: Hollingsworth Is a Stopgap Publisher, Then Will Be Gone When Another Chain Buys the Newspaper

The people I go to lunch with in the middle of every week may not know everything, but we think we do.

We cover a number of subjects in our conversations over the moo goo gai pan, as well as the crab rangoon--and newspapers are one of them.

We've been talking about Laura Hollingsworth a lot lately because she's now in her first week as publisher of the Des Moines Register -- a place most of us used to get our paychecks.

Before Hollingsworth got her new job, we never talked about her because none of us knew who she was.

I wrote about Hollingsworth a while back, and I even published a photograph of her home so employees and others would know what to look for when we're invited out there for drinks and snacks sometime soon.

Now back to reality.

One guy in the lunch group pointed out the rumor making the rounds that the 40-year-old Hollingsowrth is merely a stopgap publisher at the paper.

She was second in command to Mary Stier, and the Gannett Co. didn't even bother searching its vast network of newspaper know-it-alls who might want to take over the Register's publisher responsibilities.

Stier quit, or was told to quit, after spending seven years as the publisher. She also was in charge of Gannett papers in the midwest and elsewhere.

She was regarded as pretty hot stuff in the Gannett chain. But then she turned 50, and circulation kept falling at all of the papers she was overseeing--including the one here.

So now she's gone and Hollingsworth, who has no background in the news part of the newspaper business, is calling the shots at 8th & Locust. Hollingsworth's responsibilities don't include overseeing all the other papers that Stier was in charge of.

Hollingsworth's lack of a news background even got the attention of my old friend Alive In Clive.

"Sounds strange that they'd name someone with her background as the publisher," Alive In Clive said in a rare public appearance.

One of the guys I was eating lunch with says he thinks the Register is going to be sold as soon as Gannett can find somebody, or another newspaper chain with enough money and courage to buy it. And when that happens Hollingsworth and a lot of other people there will likely be out of work.

Now back to my tofu-and-vegetables in brown sauce.

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A MAN WHO FOUGHT TO THE END

Sometimes you don't know what to believe.

An obituary has been published twice in the paper in the last two days that says 64-year-old Burns Mossman, a courageous man I knew and respected, "died of complications of diabetes on Saturday, September 8, 2007 at Iowa Methodist Medical Center...."

In the Biz Buzz column in the paper's business section, it said, "Des Moines lawyer Burns Mossman died of a heart attack Friday after attending a black-tie event for diabetes earlier in the evening...."

I guess the only other thing I want to say about this is that Mossman, a man who fought Type I, insulin-dependent diabetes to the end, is now in the great clinic in the sky -- still searching for a cure that will enable people who have the disease to live better lives.

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MARV AND RUTH HIDDLESON TAKE OVER

Here's an e-mail from Marv Hiddleson of West Des Moines:

"Keith Murphy has invited us up to ISU's Jack Trice Stadium for their 10:20 p.m. news/sports segment for RVTV. Keith wants us to decorate the RV's bathroom.

"We have wallpaper in hand, and a Pepsi bottle from 1977, whereby Iowa won, 12-10, among other things. An interior decorator suggests re-decorating more frequently than once every 30 years."

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: Murphy and his Channel 13 crew are in Ames all week prior to Saturday's Iowa State-Iowa game. Marv and Ruth Hiddleson are longtime Iowa fans who have a "Hawkeye Bathroom" in their West Des Moines home. Photos of the Hiddlesons' work in the RVTV are at the top of this column. Marv and Ruth know how to have a good time--and they know how to decorate].

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THIS ONE REALLY HURTS

Here's something that takes the Texas-Oklahoma football rivalry to a new low.

A guy sent me an e-mail that starts:

"Sooner fan grabs Texas fan by the balls during a bar fight and won't let to. The Texas fan needs 60 stitches."

And now an Associated Press story that gets pretty painful:

To some Oklahoma football fans, there are things that just aren't done in the heart of Sooner Nation, and one of them is to walk into a bar wearing a Texas Longhorns T-shirt.

That's exactly what touched off a bloody skirmish that left a Texas-shirt-wearing fan nearly castrated and an Oklahoma fan facing aggravated assault charges that could put him in prison for up to five years.

The shocking case has set off a raging debate in this football-crazed region about the extreme passions behind a bitter rivalry. Some legal observers have even questioned whether this case could ever truly have an impartial jury.

"I've actually heard callers on talk radio say that this guy deserved what he got for wearing a Texas T-shirt into a bar in the middle of Sooner country," said Irven Box, an attorney in this city 20 miles from Oklahoma's campus in Norman.

According to police, 32-year-old Texas fan Brian Christopher Thomas walked into Henry Hudson's Pub on June 17 wearing a Longhorns T-shirt and quickly became the focus of football "trash talk" from another regular, 53-year-old Oklahoma fan Allen Michael Beckett.

Thomas told police that when he decided to leave and went to the bar to pay his tab, Beckett grabbed him in the crotch, pulled him to the ground and wouldn't let go, even as bar patrons tried to break it up. When the two men were separated, Thomas looked down and realized the extent of his injuries.

"He could see both of his testicles hanging on the outside of his body," said Thomas' attorney, Carl Hughes. "He was wearing a pair of white shorts, which made it that much worse."

It took more than 60 stitches to close the wound, and police interviewed Thomas at a nearby hospital emergency room.

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Photos of Laura Hollingsworth [lower left] and one of Ron Maly's'favorite Oriental cooks [lower right] courtesy of Google.]

So This Is What Iowa State Got After It Fired Dan McCarney. But Relax, Fans, I Think It's Too Early for a Vote Of Confidence from Jamie Pollard

Memo to the search firm that charged Iowa State $80,000-or-so to find Gene Chizik as its new football coach.

Gregory Geoffroy, the school president, is rumored to be consulting with his lawyers.

He wants his money back.

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Bottom Ten, meet Cy.

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So this is what Geoffroy got when he stood inside Hilton Coliseum last winter and watched Chizik walk through artificial smoke.

Iowa State had heard that Bear Bryant could walk on water, and figured Chizik was the guy who could handle the smoke-and-mirrors act at a place that was trying to shed the image of being a coaching graveyard.

I guess walking through smoke is a lot different than walking on water.

Coaches who walk through smoke are supposed to at least beat Northern Iowa.

*

So this is what Iowa State got to replace Dan McCarney, who worked his ass off as the Cyclones' coach for a dozen years and got tossed out after going 4-8 in 2006.

Hey, if the Cyclones could go 4-8 this year people would be saying Chizik is doing a great rebuilding job and they'd be asking, "Which bowl are we going to next season?"

*

Yes, sir, I'll miss McCarney in this week of the Iowa State-Iowa game.

It won't be the same without him.

*

Surely nobody is going to say McCarney left the cupboard bare when he was fired.

Don't let 'em try to sell you on that stupid idea.

*

By the way, Mac had a 9-3 record in 2000, and should have gotten out on his own terms then.

He took five Iowa State teams to bowl games -- more than any other Iowa State coach.

And they fired him.

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Actually, I think it's too early for a vote of confidence from Jamie Pollard.

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Even sadder than Iowa State's 0-2 start is my expectation of an 0-12 finish.

Like I wrote after the 23-14 loss to Kent State in the opener, this is a pretty bad team, folks.

It didn't get any better against UNI.

Hey, you're getting into that Jim Walden territory now, Cy.

Walden talked a good game, but could never coach a good one.

He could never beat Iowa and his 1994 team went 0-10-1.

The highlight of the '94 season was when the team sang the school song after a tie at Oklahoma State.

I was there.

It was an embarrassment.

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I'll bet Cy and his pals can't wait for that Sept. 29 game at Nebraska and for Texas and Oklahoma to show up at Jack Trice Stadium on successive Saturdays in October.

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Losing to UNI usually means the pink slip for a Cyclone coach.

But let's try to be fair about this. You can't really dump a guy who's coached just two games.

But whatever happened to the idea of outcoaching somebody?

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It's a good thing Drake isn't on the Iowa State schedule.

There'd probably be more of those 20-17 Drake blue-and-white bumper stickers that celebrated Chuck Shelton's victory over the Cyclones back when the Bulldogs had football scholarships.

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Come to think about it, what would've been wrong with Steve Loney being given the Iowa State job?

Loney played for the Cyclones and twice was an assistant coach at Iowa State.

I guess naming him to succeed McCarney made too much sense.

Now he's 2-0 at Drake.

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Those people who were critical of Norm Parker's defense at Iowa have suddenly gotten very quiet.

Oh, all right, Northern Illinois and Syracuse -- neither of which scored a touchdown against Parker's defense -- aren't exactly Florida and LSU.

But Hawkeye fans have to be happy about the 16-3 and 35-0 victories.

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Nothing much has changed.

After its second victory, Drake was back by the motorcycle ads on page 5 in today's paper.

Somewhere, Chuck Shelton -- the guy who bitched constantly that his Bulldog games were "back by the tire ads" -- is again having chest pains.

*

The minute I got into the Kinnick Stadium press box last night, a guy told me he was concerned that Tom Witosky was sitting in one of the Register's four assigned seats.

Witosky had every right to be there. It's just that he makes people nervous when he's on the scene.

"They're probably short on reporters at the paper," I said. "Maybe they've got a big volleyball tournament somewhere."

"I think he's here to write a Big Ten TV network story," the guy said.

This is the same guy who told me that longtime former Iowa athletic director Bump Elliott "disliked very few people, but Witosky was one of them."

Obviously, Witosky can still cause a stir when he shows up in Iowa City.

That's what happens when a guy nicknamed "The Shovel" can occasionally uncover a good story.

Editors like a reporter like that. Or at least they did in the old days.

As it turned out, Witosky wrote a routine interview room story on the Iowa-Syracuse game that ran on page 8 today. Nothing like burying The Shovel.

*

Actually, it won't surprise me if Witosky and others are assigned to write sidebars about Iowa and Iowa State this season.

The paper has just one sports columnist now. In previous years, Nancy Clark would have been available for column duty at one of the games involving the two major schools, but she's been demoted to the copy desk.

*

Before the game, Iowa handed out a release to folks in the press box that said the university was informed that discussions between Mediacom and the Big Ten network have been suspended until Monday.

"Despite the best efforts of everyone involved, the representatives of the Big Ten network and Mediacom agreed to suspend discussions and to assemble Monday," said Iowa athletic director Gary Barta. "We are disappointed, of course, but remain committed to providing access to the Big Ten network to all Iowans."

*

Photo of Gene Chizik walking through smoke when he was introduced as Iowa State's football coach. Watching is school president Gregory Geoffroy. Photo courtesy of Google.

RV Time: Keith Murphy and Other Channel 13 Sportscasters Will 'Eat Junk Food and Live Like Slobs' In the Week Of Iowa-ISU Game

From Tim Gardner at WHO-TV:

What event is SO big that an entire team of semi-professionals would live and work together for nearly an entire week in an RV?

The answer is the Iowa vs. Iowa State annual rivalry football game scheduled for Saturday, Sept. 15. WHO-TV said today that the channel 13 sports team will originate its broadcasts that week from an RV parked just outside Jack Trice Stadium beginning Monday at 5 p.m. The stations special “RVTV” broadcasts will then air in every newscast leading up to game time.

Besides coverage from Ames and Iowa City in every newscast on channel 13, RVTV will also include a significant web presence including a mountain of stats and fact about the rivalry and a live RVTV webcam all located on the sports page at www.WHOTV.com.

Channel 13 sports director Keith Murphy is a veteran of RVTV---this will be his fifth--and he couldn’t be more excited about it. Well, that might be stretching it.

“It’s a wonderful opportunity to showcase our state’s biggest rivalry, eat junk food, and live like slobs all week,” says Murphy. “In other words, just another week for Shawn and Chris, and a flashback to pre-family life for me.”

“This sure isn’t what I signed up for,” says newcomer to the channel 13 sports team Chris Hassel. “I’m not sure I want to know anybody I work with that well--especially Murph. He looks older than Zabel without make-up.”

“I quit,” exclaimed channel 13 sports reporter/anchor Shawn Terrell. “It's one thing to listen to Murphy boss me around all day in the office. It’s a whole other deal when he starts calling dibs on the hot water in the RV shower. And I can't even imagine the smell. It's bad enough in the office. I’m packin’ a tent.”

Channel 13’s past RVTV broadcasts included lots of fun and many surprises including having the ISU Pep Band tucked away in the RV bedroom, Steve Alford beating Murph in a game of HORSE, and Dan McCarney bringing the guys TV turkey dinners on Thanksgiving.

"I'm doing it again for one reason, and one reason only", Murphy declares. "I'm not leaving Ames until my face is on a coin."

Hold Up On That '2nd Babe Ruth' Story--Ankiel Was On Human Growth Hormone Before Going On His Homer Binge Lately for the Cardinals

Oh-oh.

Finally -- in an odd sort of way -- there's a reason why a Cubs fan can say, "I knew he's been cheating."

I mean, now we apparently know why Rick Ankiel [the guy in the baseball uniform] of the St. Louis Cardinals has been masquerading as Babe Ruth lately.

He's been on something -- and it ain't Ovaltine.

The New York Daily News says the outfielder -- who has been authoring baseball's freel-good story late this season -- isn't making commissioner Bud Selig, Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa and others in the sport feel so good now.

The newspaper says Ankiel received a 12-month supply of human growth hormone.

Say all you want about the bat Sammy Sosa had filled with cork or the stuff players--Sosa and the Cardinals' Mark McGwire included -- were sniffing and shooting. What Ankiel reportedly did isn't good for him or baseball, and he's already got an asterisk attached to his name.

Ankiel, who couldn't make it as a big league pitcher, has been looking like a second Babe Ruth as an outfielder. Ruth went from being a pitcher to a home run-slamming outfielder back in the days when nobody knew what the players were eating or sniffing.

They say Ruth used to eat hot dogs and drink beer in huge amounts before, during and after games.

Hell, who knows if that stuff was hot dogs and beer. Maybe the dogs and suds had human growth hormones then, too.

People might have told Ruth it was beer, so he guzzled it.

Ankiel blasted two home runs, a double and had seven runs-batted-in yesterday against Pittsburgh -- giving him nine homers in 81 at-bats since his remarkable major league comeback began Aug. 10.

According to records obtained by the Daily News and sources close to the controversy surrounding anti-aging clinics that dispense illegal prescription drugs, Ankiel received eight shipments of HGH from Signature Pharmacy in Orlando from January to December, 2004, including the brand-name injectable drugs Saizen and Genotropin.

Signature is the pharmacy at the forefront of Albany, N.Y., District Attorney David Soares’ two-year investigation into illegal Internet prescription drug sales, which has brought 22 indictments and nine convictions.

Ankiel’s prescriptions were signed by Florida physician William Gogan, who provided them through a Palm Beach Gardens clinic called "The Health and Rejuvenation Center," or "THARC." The drugs were shipped to Ankiel at the clinic’s address.

THARC also provided a shipment of steroids and growth hormone to former major league pitcher Steve Woodard, who played for Milwaukee, Cleveland, Texas and Boston during a seven-year career that ended in 2003. Woodard and Ankiel were teammates with the class AAA Memphis Redbirds in 2004.

"This is the first I’ve heard of this," Cardinals general manager Walt Jocketty told the Daily News yesterday. "If it’s true, obviously it would be very tragic, along with everything else we’ve had happen to us this year."

The surging Cardinals have gone 16-6 in their last 22 games to become a contender for the National League Central title. The year began with manager LaRussa’s drunk driving arrest in March, followed by the drunk-driving death of reliever Josh Hancock in April and the loss of ace Chris Carpenter for the season in June. Ankiel, dubbed "The Natural" in St. Louis, had been the one bit of unrestrained good news.

Now this.

*

Bud Appleby sent me a story from the Bozeman [Mont.] Daily Chronicle that tries to explain why Rob Ash [pictured at the left] started looking for another job after being at Drake forever:

"Ash was a coaching fixture at Drake, where he spent 18 seasons, but he said he began to seek other coaching opportunities when it became apparent last season that a team from the Pioneer League had little or no chance to earn a berth in the Football Championship Subdivision playoffs [formerly known as Division I-AA]. As he watched the playoff selection show on television, he recalled, he was upset when a 7-4 Montana State team was selected while the unbeaten Pioneer League champion, San Diego, was not."

I think Ash is having some memory problems. I remember him applying for the Northern Iowa job every time it opened. The last time, he embarrassed everyone -- himself included -- by not even getting an interview at UNI.

Hell, maybe nobody was taking him seriously then.

Who knows how many other jobs he applied for when he was at Drake.

*

Speaking of Drake, I'm glad the Bulldogs' Sept. 22 game against UNI will be televised by Mediacom.

It's been moved to 4 p.m., but you weren't doing anything at that time, were you?

I mean, the Iowa-Wisconsin telecast won't be starting until 7 o'clock that night.

Now I can't figure out why the Iowa State-UNI game tomorrow night isn't on the tube.

That makes two straight Cyclone games that haven't been televised.

I think Jamie Pollard should look into that.

Or else Biz Buzz or the Watchdog Blogger.

*

Photos courtesy of Google.

This Was the Black Cat, the Billy Goat, the 1969 Flop. The 2007 Baseball Season Is Over for Me. Let's Get Ready for Some Tailgating At Kinnick Stadium

BELOW: DRAKE-UNI GAME ON MEDIACOM TV

That's it. I'm outta here.

The baseball season ended today for me. It's football only from now on.

I went through the lunch buffet line twice at the Indian/Pakistani restaurant, took a walk at the mall afterward, bought a leather belt for $9.99 at Aeropostle, and got home in time to start listening on the radio during the third inning of the Cubs-Dodgers game at Wrigley Field in Chicago.

As I listened, I had the Cardinals' game against Pittsburgh on mute on the TV.

The Cubs were ahead for a while, 1-0, and Pittsburgh was tied with St. Louis, 2-2.

The Cubs and the Cardinals are, of course, the only teams that count.

I want the Cubs to win and the Cardinals to lose. Every day. Every season.

The Cubs'Jason Marquis went into the fifth inning without allowing a baserunner, and announcer Pat Hughes was sounding like he might pitch a perfect game.

Huh-uh.

The Dodgers began homering the Cubs to death. Not just Marquis. Everybody else, too.

The fatal blow was a three-run shot in the top of the ninth inning off Ryan Dempster, the Cubs' closer.

Ron Santo, a former Cubs third baseman who now is the team's radio commentator, has already lost two legs and his days on this earth are no doubt numbered. He moans and groans with every Chicago mistake. I worry about him a lot.

I hope Santo survived what the Cubs did today.

Names of the Dodger players who did all the damage don't matter. They make me sick anyway. They always have, going back long before Tommy Lasorda and Sandy Koufax.

When the Dodgers cut the heart ouf of Dempster today, it was the black cat, the billy goat, the 1969 season that collapsed all over again.

I used to blame the things that happened today on Dusty Baker. Now Baker works for ESPN. Maybe I should blame ESPN.

Leo Durocher could've been managing the Cubs today. Or Don Zimmer. It was the same agony all over again.

Can you believe that Lou Piniella came out of retirement to experience this crap?

Like I said earlier, the baseball season is over for me.

I normally check every day to see if the Cubs are on TV around here. Mediacom doesn't carry many of their games anymore, and now I know why.

Let's see, how soon is that Iowa-Syracuse football game?

*

I'm sure glad the paper says the Iowa Stars aren't leaving town.

I hadn't even heard the rumor that they were going.

Maybe it started in Iowa City, where all other rumors start.

The hundreds of thousands of other people who don't bother going to their games might be pissed off that the Stars are staying here, but I'm absolutely thrilled that the team will continue playing at Wells Fargo Arena.

*

I know you're dying to see how I'm picking the football games this weekend, so here goes:

Iowa 37, Syracuse 3

Northern Iowa 24, Iowa State 22

Drake 45, Waldorf 7

*

From Mike Mahon at Drake:

Mediacom Communications and Drake said today that the football game between the Bulldogs and UNI on Sept. 22 will be televised around the state on the Mediacom Connections Channel with a 4 p.m. kickoff time at Drake Stadium.

Both teams opened the season with high rankings. Drake is No. 2 in the Sports Network Mid-Major Football poll after opening the season with the biggest victory in its 22-year history of non-scholarship football -- 27-24 over No. 7-ranked Illinois State. Northern Iowa was No. 8 in the Football Championship Subdivision Poll.

Hey, Give the 'Z' a Break. All He's Done Is Punch Out a Catcher Twice, Show Up Umps, Other Teammates, Rip Fans--And It Costs Cubs Just $91.5 Million

I sure can't figure out why people in Chicago and elsewhere insist on getting so riled up about the things Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano does.

I mean, this is all that's happened in 2007:

1. The "Z" Man [pictured at the right peeking around the dugout in a Chicago Sun-Times photo] punched out catcher Michael Barrett twice on the same day -- once in the dugout, another time in the clubhouse. Obviously, someone had to go, and it wasn't Zambrano. Barrett was quickly traded to San Diego.

2. "Z" regularly shows up umpires and his teammates by gesturing wildly in front of crowds of 40,000 and big TV audiences.

3. "Z" doesn't pay any attention to Cubs base coaches. He ran through Mike Quade's stop sign at third base Monday and was thrown out at home by the Dodgers. It's just a wild guess, but I'll bet "Z" doesn't show much respect to manager Lou Piniella either.

4. "Z" ripped the Cubs' fans after his latest loss, saying he'd remember how they booed him when he was taken out of the game.

5. He hasn't won a game since July.

6. He signed a contract that pays him $91.5 million.

Man, I envy those Chicago reporters. Zambrano would sure be fun to cover.

*

Speaking of the Cubs, rookie Eric Patterson is starting to prove that he's the same type of airhead as his brother, Corey.

Eric, who played second base for No-Name Ballclub at No-Name Ballfield in Des Moines this season, was called up to the Chicago Cubs recently -- something that should've been treasured by the the kid.

So what does he do? Shows up late Monday at Wrigley Field for a game that started at -- get this! -- 3 p.m.

That got him sent home.

Embarrassing stuff.

"He's a good young player, he's a good kid," Cubs general manager Jim Hendry told Chicago reporters. "I didn't think it was something to be looked upon lightly. It's a privilege to be called up from the minor-league system in September in the middle of a pennant race, and we just decided to make the switch."

Outfielder Sam Fuld was called up from Tennessee to take Patterson's spot. Pitchers Carmen Pignatiello and Kevin Hart were recalled from No-Name Ballclub.

Eric Patterson evidently showed up late when he was on No-Name Ballclub's roster. Maybe more than once.

But how would anyone in this town know? As far as I know, Patterson's tardiness wasn't reported in the paper.

Minor league ballteam, minor league reporting.

Corey Patterson was regarded as a can't-miss player when he was a centerfielder with Chicago.

But he began striking out a lot and became the subject of booing from the fans, and finally was traded to Baltimore.

When he was with No-Name Ballclub, he was acted like he was half asleep some of the time -- getting picked off base and doing other dumb things.

*

The San Diego Chargers have released defensive end Derreck Robinson, a former Iowa player.

*

I was very happy to see that Watchdog Blog author Lee Rood, who happens to be my favorite blogger at the paper, has an update on the sad Johnny Gosch situation. [Johnny is pictured at the left in a photo courtesy of Google].

*

I don't watch much NBA basketball, but I do know that one of the league's players is Shaquille O'Neal, who makes a lot of money.

Way too much money, obviously.

News accounts say that O'Neal wants to divorce his wife Shaunie. Shaquille and Shaunie have six children -- some of whom they had together.

I guess Shaquille is paid $20 a season by the Miami Heat. And I guess they live in a house that can be bought for a mere $32 million.

*

Michigan went from being the nation's No. 5-ranked team to a member of ESPN's Bottom Ten.

Iowa State is on the Bottom Ten "wait list."

I guess that means the Cyclones will take the next step and be in the Bottom Ten's rankings after they lose Saturday's game to Northern Iowa.

[Yawn] I Guess I'm Not Ready Yet for the Football Season To Start. Lawn Mowing Sounded More Exciting Than Some Of the Gridiron Stuff On TV Today

Actually, I guess I'm not really ready for the collegiate football season to start.

I thought I was, but then I went to Ames and saw Iowa State play Thursday night.

Afterward, I was ready to call the team pastor.

And I'm not the only guy who needed The Reverend for counseling. Obviously, so did coach Gene Chizik and his Cyclone players.

Todd Blythe may have had to make an appointment with the pastor so he wouldn't feel the same way as me -- that Iowa State may not win a game all season.

Speaking of guys who should consider visiting a pastor, how about Lloyd Carr?

I thought I might be emotionally ready today.

For football, I mean.

After listening to the Cubs wallop Houston, 4-3, in a big baseball game that started at noon on KRNT-radio, I flipped to Mediacom for the 2:30 telecast of the Iowa-Northern Illinois football game -- hoping I'd catch the fever.

Didn't work.

Even though the TV cameras kept showing those sweaty Iowa fans -- especially the female fans -- I couldn't get the fever.

I left the game midway through the third quarter, with Iowa leading, 13-3. We're going to St. Paul tomorrow for a few days, so I needed to mow the lawn.

I saw no reason to wait until the game ended to crank up the mower.

I later read ESPN.com and saw that Iowa won, 16-3.

It didn't sound very exciting.

The ESPN story or the game.

I was getting sleepy.

So, after finishing the lawn-cutting, I came inside the house to see what Lee Rood, my favorite blogger at the Register, was writing about on the computer.

Rood [pictured at the right] authors the "Watchdog Blog," the description of which is:

"Got a question about something fishy going on in state or local government? Where do you go to find out about ongoing scams or scam artists? Wonder what reporters are looking into at the Register? Investigations Editor Lee Rood has the answers. Contact Lee by e-mail with tips and ideas or phone the Register’s investigative hotline at 284-8550. RSS 2.0: Watchdog blog."

I know I'm always wondering what reporters are looking into at the Register.

But evidently other people aren't. Rood has had only 14 comments to the 10 blogs she's had on the Register's website, dating back to April 2.

That's not many, so that's why I thought I'd mention what an outstanding job she does in her stories for the paper and in her blogs.

Hey, it's not easy being a watchdog.

I tried it for a few years, and you don't always make everybody happy.

And I'm pretty sure it's not always easy being the author of the Watchdog Blog.

Every blogger needs a little support now and then, and this is some for Lee Rood.

I think my friend Kenny Fuson would even agree that Rood does things in a class way.

Now back to football.

Maybe next week's Iowa-Syracuse game will get me turned on. Check with me then.

*

One thing I'd like Lee Rood to look into is why my Sunday paper had no general news section, no local news section and no sports section.

Then she can address the question of why newspaper circulation continues dropping around the world.

I've had a few problems with the Register's circulation department in the past, but nothing like this one.

The rest of the paper that was delivered to my doorstep today was intact -- the ads, of course, the opinion section, the comics....you know, the stuff the circulation department could have assembled Friday.

I called to see what I could do about getting a paper that included the news, and a female voice on the recorded message I heard said I'd be receiving a paper soon.

By the time I left for church and then St. Paul at 7:45 a.m., there still was no paper.

Tough times in the newspaper business. Or have I said that before?

*

From Mark Robinson of Iowa City:

"Your previous comments about Lloyd Carr are ringing true as ever.

"This may be the biggest upset since Chaminade beat Virginia.

"It's a good time to write about Drake and ISU, for sure. Plenty of fodder out there for ya, Ron.

"Keep writing."

[RON MALY'S COMMENTS: As I've always said, as long as Lloyd Carr is coaching, he'll keep screwing up Michigan football games. The man should be fired.]