It's a Strange, Strange World We Live In

I've known it all along, of course, but every so often I'm reminded of it.

This is an absolutely bizarre world we live in.

I mean, only in America, 2007, can a football team have a 1-4 record, be buried in 10th place in the 11-team conference standings -- and still be hopeful of playing in a bowl game.

I'm referring to Iowa, of course.

The Hawkeyes are a bad team. We all know that. We've known it since the Hawkeyes lost, 15-13, to Iowa State -- another bad team -- in the third week of the season.

Now Iowa has a 3-5 record, and some of its fans think there's a chance the team can win its last four games, which are against Michigan State, Northwestern, Minnesota and Western Michigan.

Three more victories would enable the Hawkeyes to finish the regular season 6-6 and be--pardon the expression--bowl-eligible.

In the old days, fans of a team with a 3-5 record would be screaming, "Fire the coach!" and be looking forward to the basketball season.

Don't forget, one of the best teams in Iowa history -- Forest Evashevski's last Hawkeye squad that went 8-1 in 1960 -- didn't even go to a bowl.

Now there are bowls waiting for teams that win six games and lose six games.

The same thing happened last year, too, of course. Iowa didn't exactly strut into the Alamo Bowl with with its 6-6 record, but at least it went to the game in San Antonio -- and didn't play badly.

The Hawkeyes lost to Texas, 26-24, and finished 6-7. They went to the bowl after losing their last five Big Ten games.

Like I said, it's a bizarre world.

*

NANCY CLARK, DAVE STOCKDALE WILL BE MARRIED

A couple of good friends of mine -- Dave Stockdale and Nancy Clark -- will be married tomorrow in Miami Beach, Fla.

Dave is a retired sports copy editor and sports reporter at the Des Moines Register.

Nancy works as a sports copy editor there. She is a former sports columnist.

My very best wishes to Dave and Nancy, who are pictured at the top of this column.

*

I WISH I HAD BETTER NEWS ON THIS ONE

I'd like to have better news to report on Jerry Szumski, but I don't.

His friends tell me he's battling lung cancer.

The word from one of Szumski's friends is, "He has cancer in his right lung and lymph node(s). (I'm not sure if more than one lymph node is affected.) He does not have liver cancer, at least so far as CT, PET, and MRI scans show.

"He is going to Iowa City on Friday for a second opinion on how to treat his cancer (arranged by Nick, his physician son). Right now he's scheduled to start radiation treatment on Monday. He'll have five or six weeks of treatment, with radiation four days a week and chemo on Wednesdays....His cancer is not the small-cell kind, which is fast-growing, so that's something to be thankful for."

Jerry handled a number of jobs in the newsroom at the Register. Indeed, there was a time many years ago when the knuckleheads who thought they knew something about management erected a small TV studio in the newsroom.

Szumski was the anchorman -- sort of the Russ Van Dyke of the operation.

Like I said, sort of.

Thank goodness the TV idea didn't last long at the paper. I think the only reason for it was so the editor -- whose name I have forgotten -- could be in front of the camera occasionally.

Szumski also handled reporting and copy editing jobs at the paper.

*

MAYBE THEY MAILED MARY STIER ANOTHER WATCH

My grandkids' soccer games conflicted with the Register's 20-Year Club lunch yesterday at the Willow Creek Golf Club.

So I had to find out what happened at the 20-Year Club from others.

I wondered if Mary Stier, who recently either got a pink slip or quit as publisher of the paper, received another 20-Year watch.

"She wasn't there," a guy tells me. "Maybe they mailed her watch."

I think he was kidding.

Stier was given a watch a few years ago after she'd been at the paper only a short time. The ceremony was the biggest ass-kissing thing I've ever seen.

I wondered who spoke after yesterday's lunch.

"It was farm editor Jerry Perkins, and the topic was ethanol," a guy tells me. "It wasn't a very good turnout."

There probably were a lot of soccer games being played.